“That does not happen here. The snow is always here, and only here, in our part of the world.”
Would have commented about how freaking weird that was, but by now I had a list of the weird going on with this planet so merely added this fact to it and moved on.
Besides, we were at the last door and, true to expectations, it wasn't undisturbed. It was, in point of fact, open.
T
HANKFULLY,
what was in the doorway wasn't a snakipede or twenty. What was in the doorway were beings I really hadn't been prepared to see.
“James!” Flung myself at Reader. Which probably would have been better if we hadn't still been going at the Flash hyperspeed level when I'd let go of Christopher's hand.
I hit Reader hard, and we slammed into the other people with him, meaning I took him, Tim, Tito, Brian, and Kevin to the ground. Go me. If we were starring in the WWE.
This wasn't so bad, except that they weren't alone. They were with a lot of Lecanora, most of whom looked a hell of a lot like wolverines, with heavy emphasis on the claws and teeth part of wolverines. And all of them had sharp spears and now all those spears were pointed right at me and moving.
Christopher kept his head, thankfully, so I kept mine. He let go of Fancy, grabbed me, and moved us back to Fancy, who was far enough away that they'd have to throw the spears to hit us. Conveniently for the guys I'd knocked to the ground, they'd sort of connected, so Christopher had moved them away at the same time he'd moved me.
“Stop!” Reader shouted, as said spears hit the ground where we'd all been and the six of us untangled in a decidedly ungodlike and very undignified way. “These are our friends!” The Lecanora with the spears froze.
“What the hell are you guys doing breaking into Haven? Oh, and it's great to see you and I'm so glad you're all okay. And all that.”
“Long story,” Tim said. “Starts with James and me landing in the blue part of this world, which isâ”
“All water like Venice, we know.”
He shot me a dirty look. “We got help,” he nodded toward a couple of Lecanora in the back, who looked like they were part of King Benny's original Otter Tribe but the big, muscular side of it, “and headed toward part of this world that's all black. The ground, I mean.”
“Which is where we were,” Tito indicated himself, Brian, and Kevin. “It's all volcanic rock. And I mean all.”
“And when we say black, we mean black, including all the foliage,” Brian added. “Don't forget that. Different shades of black, but all black.”
“As are most of the residents,” Kevin added. He grinned. “I fit right in.”
“Good to see everyone's keeping their senses of humor intact. We're a tad more stressed inside, just so you know.”
“I'm a little more stressed than I seem,” Brian said. “Where's Serene?”
“Safe.”
Brian relaxed a bit and I took a closer look at the wolverines. Yep, they were all black, or black with white stripes, which wasn't common for Earth wolverines, but as we'd been noting for quite a while now, we weren't in Kansas anymore. The striped ones looked like Skunky, only a lot more muscular. They were all clearly warriors. Now probably wasn't the time to share that I was Wolverine With Boobs. They probably wouldn't get the reference and take offense at the same time.
“As Shealla has asked,” Fancy said imperiously, “what were you doing sneaking into Haven?”
“Saving you,” Tito said. He pointed through the open door behind the otters. It was still night outside, but the Snow Globe Beetles, or whatever they were really called here, were still providing soft, white, glowy light. Noted that there was blood and such on the ground.
Zipped outside to see five snakipedes dead on the ground. There was also a dead humanoid body with the snakipede bodiesâand it looked like an Amazon. An Amazon with a lot of spear holes in her, but an Amazon nonetheless. I checked her eyesâthey were all black.
I closed her eyelids. No idea why, just seemed like the decent thing to do, despite the fact that she'd been trying to kill me and everyone else inside.
Took a look around. Saw no more snakipedes about. Also saw no signs of other Lecanora, other Amazonian Ancients, or anything else, really. Did see what looked like a large city off in the distance, with some impressive turrets and such. The lighting looked normalâtorches and fires or something, but what I'd expect to see in a Bronze Age world, and unlike anything else I'd seen here so far. Figured this was the king's palace, aka where we'd be raiding shortly. But not right now.
As I looked up to check the air again, just in case some snakipedes were lurking about, waiting to smell prey, I spotted something very high in the skyâflickering lights. Possibly. It was hard to see clearly, but as my vision adjusted for what and where I was looking, realized that what I'd taken to be part of the night, so to speak, was in fact a huge mountain. Took a guess and figured I was looking at the All Seeing Mountain.
As I stared, I was sure that there were weird lights and colors flickering at the very top of the mountain. Really wanted to go find out what the hell was up there. However, it was dark, cold, and I wanted Jeff with me before we climbed every mountain or stormed the castle.
Chose discretion over valor and zipped right back inside and to the others. “Aha, so Fancy and Christopher, our worry was correct. There was another Amazonian Ancient trying to let the Horrors in. So, good job our team.”
“Did I hear that right?” Reader asked. “Never mind, I'm sure I did. Care to tell us what's going on? Just so we're on the same page and all that.”
“Sure, once we've okayed your entry into Fancy Corzine's domain and you've introduced us to your new friends.”
“These are the Lecanora,” Reader started.
Put up my hand. “We're extremely far ahead of you. There are Lecanora all over this continentâworld, for them. They all resemble Earth mustelidae of all kinds, so don't think you're seeing the only three or four clan representatives here, we have them allâotters, beavers, skunks, woodchucks, ferrets, minks, weasels, and more.” Looked at the wolverines. Decided not to call that one out just now. “There are also those snakipedes which they call Horrors that you killed. We've already killed more of them, by the way, before you all get cocky. There are also a plethora of other sentient creatures here, some of whom are helping us. And this planet is extremely colorful and, for us, even more trippy.”
“Okay,” Tim said, “you catch us up and we'll fill in the blanks that relate to how we got here in time to save your butts.”
“Trust me, butts have been being saved all over the place. You don't own the franchise on butt saving on Planet Colorful, Megalomaniac Lad, so don't get uppity.”
“Look, we need to close this door and get back to the others,” Christopher pointed out, sharing Patented Glare #3 with all of us. And just when I thought Planet Colorful was being good for him.
“If you would do so,” Fancy said to him, with a huge amount of respect in her voice that hadn't been there before. I didn't get the impression she was more impressed with us than she'd been five minutes ago, meaning she was requesting this for a reason.
Christopher nodded, walked over, and pulled the door shut with one hand. The Black Wolverines all watched him do this and, to a furry face, they looked impressed. So, Fancy had wanted to show off that she had someone extremely strongâwho didn't necessarily look extremely strongâon her side. Then Fancy secured the door just as she had with the other when we'd come into Haven.
All during this time, however, Fancy and the Lecanora I took to be in charge of the Black Wolverine Clan were eyeing each other. Wasn't sure if this was good or bad. He was definitely the biggest and most muscular of the bunch, and, based on where he was standingâin front of all the others, even though only justâhad to figure he was the leader.
“Zanell,” she said finally. “I see you're fit as ever.”
“Corzine.” He nodded somewhat stiffly. “You seem well.”
There was something about how they were talking and acting. Something hugely familiar to anyone who'd ever had a romantic relationship that had experienced some kind of big fight and unhappy breakup.
“Oh wow, you two used to be an item? Super. Did you break up because one of you is an evil madman or woman, or because one of you couldn't handle the fact that the other was just as strong a leader and warrior?”
They both stared at me, jaws open. “How . . . ?” Zanell started.
“She's Shealla,” Christopher snapped. Clearly he was tired of pussyfooting around.
The Black Wolverines and their otter pals all snapped back, but to attention. Rigid attention. I received a group bow, which included Zanell.
“Thank you. This is Binalla.” I indicated Christopher. Hoped like hell the other four guys would share their names with us sooner as opposed to later, and really and truly prayed those names didn't correspond to any we were already using.
“The Nihalani said we would find more of their number in the Dark Lands,” one of the otters said. “And this was true.”
“And the Nihalani then said we would find more of the Gods here,” Zanell said solemnly. “And we see that this is true as well.”
“Super. Leoalla and Alcalla are with a spy and possible though unlikely traitors. The Muses of Knowledge and the Winalla are still in a village with most of the Outcast clan, and some other sentient beings who are not Lecanora. So Brian, you can relax, Serene is with the other Muses, Claudia and Lorraine.”
At the word “outcast,” all the Black Wolverines jerked. “You have the castoffs here?” Zanell asked.
I moved deliberately and put myself between him and Fancy, and therefore him and the entrance into Haven. “Yes. And if you're here to hurt any of them, then I'm going to have to show you just how nasty the Gods can fight when we're protecting our people.”
Z
ANELL LOCKED EYES WITH ME.
Then pointedly stepped back, cast his gaze down, knelt down on one knee, and put his spear at my feet.
“The Nihalani said that the other Gods were worthy. We have heard of Shealla's wrath, and we will never do anything to bring it upon ourselves.”
“Wise choice,” I said to Zanell. Looked over my shoulder. “I have a wrath reputation?” I asked Fancy.
Who shrugged. “Women of power should not be crossed lightly.”
“Ah, so he had an issue sharing the dominance with you, check. Males can learn, by the way. Not all of them, but more than you'd think.”
She grinned. “Nothing is hidden from Shealla.”
“Not a damn thing, supposedly, anyway.” Turned back to Zanell, who was still kneeling. “If you're not here to raid Haven or to try to harm the Outcast Clan, then you can stand up and take your weapon back. And if this is a test where I'm supposed to take it away from you, trust me, I can.”
He looked up at me. “Normally for a boast such as that proof is required.”
He reached for his spear. I picked it up at hyperspeed and put the point at his throat before his paw was even near the ground. He froze. Wisely.
“I hope for your sake that you're willing to call this proof, Zanell. 'Cause I think, if you really worked at the old âI'm sorry I treated you as a lesser person than myself and didn't accept that you are a strong leader and an exceptional warrior' speech, Fancy might consider taking you back. And, so far, I'm quite fond of her, and not nearly as fond of you.”
He stood up slowly. I kept the point of his spear at his throat the whole way. “The Nihalani did not lie.”
“I'm happy to prove my Godhood, too,” Christopher said. “Because this is a delay we really can't afford. Even Gods like to sleep.”
True enough, and I hadn't had any. Had to assume no one in the village was sleeping anymore, and Jeff, Chuckie, and the others hadn't had enough rest, either. I pulled the spear back, then tossed it to Zanell.
He caught it and smiled at me. Then he spun it and slammed the butt of the spear onto the ground next to him. “You have our word, Sheallaâwe are here to assist you and the rest of the Gods, not to harm any others, let alone those who were wrongly cast out of their clans.”
Nice to know he was on the side of Team Outcast. Really wanted to hear some music all of a sudden. OutKast's “Hey Ya!” would kind of fit with the mood. At least my mood. Figured now wasn't the time to not be paying full attention to everyone else, and chose instead to turn to Fancy. “Your thoughts?”
“Zanell keeps his word.” She stood up even straighter. “And I keep mine.” With that she spun and stalked off down the trail.
“Wow, dude, you really pissed her off, didn't you?”
Zanell sighed. “Yes, Shealla, I did.”
“We need to move fast,” Christopher said. “You grab Fancy and I'll have everyone else link up. Heading back to Jeff or the village?”
“You take them to the village, I'll go to Jeff. The Poofs should keep Usha under control.”
“We can hope. If you're not back in the village within fifteen minutes, though, I'll come check on you guys.”
“Sounds wise.” I trotted off and caught up with Fancy. Took her paw in mine and we took off at my version of hyperspeed.
“This seems . . . slower,” she said, as I felt people go by us. Normally you couldn't notice an A-C zipping around you. So either Christopher was tired, or there were just so many bodies he was dragging along so close to us that I sensed them. Figured it could very well be both.
“It is. Binalla goes a lot faster than any of the rest of us can. So, can we trust Zanell?”
“Yes. You were correctâhe and I were . . . involved. But he could not accept that I would continue to rule and protect my clan, even if we were to join as mates.”
“Think he's come around to a different way of thinking?”
“We'll find out, I suppose. But if you and Binalla were serious about wanting to put me on the throne, Zanell may object in a very strong manner.”
“And then again, he may not. Guess we'll find out,” I said as we turned down the path to get back to Jeff.
We hadn't been gone all that long, but we'd been gone long enough for Jeff and Chuckie to have started interrogating the prisoner. Had no idea if they'd managed to get anything out of her, but since Jeff could read her emotions, at least we had a hope of it.
And it was clear that they'd been trying. Jeff and Chuckie both were inside the Poof Circle, the Poofs were still Large and In Charge, and the five Lecanora potential traitors were still cowering between Bruno and Ginger and pleading with King Benny.
Got the distinct feeling that Chuckie had been using some of the nastier C.I.A. techniques, because the Lecanora were still crying and Usha looked a little worse for wear. Apparently the Ancients didn't regenerate like the rest of those I'd met from this solar system.
Wondered if any of the natives on this planet had faster regeneration. Hadn't really had time to see if they had more than one heart, or, in the case of the katyhoppers, if they even had a heart or if something else powered their internal engine. And thankfully we hadn't had anyone hurt that I knew of, so we hadn't had a live field test.
Jeff and Chuckie looked relieved to see us but also worried. “You help King Benny handle his people,” I told Fancy. “See if you believe they're innocent, and, if so, try to calm them down.”
“Calming them either way seems the right course,” she said, as she left me and went to the other Lecanora. She gave Ginger a pet and stroked Bruno's head.
“Where's Christopher?” Jeff asked me by way of hello, as he left the Poof Circle to come over to me.
“Nice to see you, too. He's fine. Four of the doors were secure. We found the, ah, Nihalani at the last one we checked. They came with what I'm calling the Black Wolverine Clan and a couple of guys who look like they were at least originally part of King Benny's first clan. Christopher took James, Tim, Tito, Brian, and Kevin, along with all the Black Wolverines, back to the village. Fancy and I came here to get you all and get everyone back to the village, too.”
“Good.” Jeff now looked more relieved.
Pulled him away from the others, though not so far that we couldn't see them all clearly, and got a hug, which was nice. “Could you not feel me or Christopher when we were gone? We couldn't read each other's minds, so we think we are or were beyond the katyhopper's range.”
“I've really had to concentrate on her,” he jerked his head toward Usha. “She's not trained all that well, especially against a proficient C.I.A. operative and an empath, but she's got so many emotions roiling around in there it's honestly hard to differentiate. Chuck doesn't think it's a technique, by the wayâhe just thinks she's emotionally unstable, possibly from having to pretend to be a Lecanora male for so long.”
“Is the Empire she's working with the Z'porrah like I guessed?”
“Yeah, we've done verification. There's more going on, though. We haven't gotten it out of her, but she sincerely believes she's one agent out of many and she also sincerely believes that there's a world of hurt coming. What exactly is coming, though, we haven't gotten. Chuck thinks she may not actually know, but we aren't sure yet.”
“How
is
Chuckie?” Had to ask because he really looked seriously pissed.
“Ready to use her as a punching bag. And I'm half-tempted to let him.”
Thought about this. Jeff didn't normally advocate allowing one of us to just attack a prisoner. However, he cared a lot more about Chuckie than he did Usha's well-being. “She isn't the right stand-in for Cliff. Trust me, if we need to allow him to let loose, I have a great target in mind.”
“The so-called king, yeah.” He sighed. “We all need sleep. Badly, by now. But I don't know what we can do with her here. I have no idea where you found those handcuffs, but she's spent the entire time you've been gone working to get loose from them. I can guarantee that she's going to succeed somewhere in the next few hours, if not sooner.”
“We could just kill her. Or let the Poofs eat her. Same thing, really.”
Jeff stared at me. “Chuck said the same thing.”
“Mom's training, most likely. Not that my mother regularly advocates murdering people in cold blood or anything, but Usha's a dangerous liability. We have no way of containing her securely and we also have no one to negotiate her return with.”
“Why don't we?” Jeff asked. “Someone put her in place. She firmly believes she has superiorsâthis is not someone acting alone.”
Stared at him as he motioned for Chuckie to come over and join us. “Wow. You know, you're right. I keep on thinking it was LaRue who stationed her here, and even if it was, she might care about Usha.” Hugged Chuckie as he reached us, then leaned back against Jeff.
Caught Chuckie up on who we'd found, what their God Name was, and everything else. Jeff reiterated that killing Usha might not be our best choice.
“LaRue might care about her, Kitty's right,” Chuckie said when we finished. “And by the way, most of the Lecanora in the Blue part that Christopher and I saw were otters. Not all, but most.”
“Good to know where King Benny's probably originally from. But back to the big elephant in our room. More than LaRue potentially knowing herâUsha is an Ancient but she's working for the Z'porrah. Meaning that LaRue's not the only traitor the Ancients have been blessed with over the years.”
“Meaning the Ancients are still alive as a race,” Chuckie said. “We've been working under the assumption that their race died out, but events are showing that not to be the case. The Z'porrah are direct enemies of the Ancients, and they're still going strong, as we learned all too well. That the Z'porrah are working in secret in this solar system indicates that their enemyâwho is presumably on our side, in no small part because we're their âcreations'âis still very much alive and active.”
“That's true. LaRue came to Earth after the other, for us original, Ancient ship had crash-landed. We now have proof that they have Faster Than Light travel, meaning she didn't leave hundreds of years earlierâshe left long enough ago that communications between the Ancient home world and the ship that crash-landed on Earth crossed in transit, but otherwise, they're still around and kicking. Us, mostly.”
Jeff shook his head. “The Ancients are at least helping both our solar systems, not trying to destroy them.”
“But it explains why the Free Women look like they do,” Chuckie said. “Their original strains mixed with Ancients, and clearly the Ancient blood is the strongest.”
“Genetics rule. But the eyes are tellingâI've never seen a Free Woman with all-black eyes, and since I've now seen two Amazonian Agents with them, I'm going to take a leap of faith and say that the Ancients have eyes like that.” Meaning LaRue's eyes were all black in reality.
“Meaning LaRue's eyes are all black when she's not shapeshifted,” Chuckie said, clearly reading my mind again.
Knew without asking that Christopher and a katyhopper were nearby. So I was unsurprised to see Christopher and Saffron round the corner. “I gave you fifteen minutes,” Christopher said as they reached us. “Everything okay?”
While Jeff and Chuckie shared our latest thoughts with Christopher, I sidled over to Saffron. “Any chance you can mind read Usha over there and see what she knows?”
Saffron waved her antennae. Then she shuddered, and waved them again. Destruction was coming. Destruction for all of us, the planet, and possibly the entire solar system.
And it was coming soon.