T
URNED OUT FANCY'S
Ferrets didn't live in burrows. Fancy's Ferrets lived in a vast, underground complex that bore the same resemblance to a prairie dog or rabbit warren that Jeff did to a slug.
“Wow, it's like we just entered the Dwarf Kingdoms in Middle Earth, isn't it?” I asked Chuckie.
“Somewhat, yes, without the roof being hundreds of feet higher than necessary.”
“Depends on your view, dude. Look down and to the left.”
“Oh. Wow.”
What I'd managed to spot before Chuckie was that the road we were on led down as well as up. He'd been looking up, and as the road went upward, the ceiling, if you will, never got more than about twelve feet high. It wasn't an ornate ceiling, but it was reinforced as far as I could see with thick stone columns. Based on what I'd seen with Christopher, my bet was that the columns and this road, or others like it, went all the way up inside the highest peaks or mesas.
But when you looked down, you saw the complex. And then realized that the ceilings were a hundred feet high if they were an inch, if not more.
While the setup had reminded me of
Lord of the Rings
, everything else was more like something out of Disney's Storybook Land ride, particularly the parts dedicated to
The Wind in the Willows
âlots of thatched huts, quaint and cozy buildings, puffs of smoke coming out of chimneys, and more. There was a river that meandered through, as well. Clutches of villages were dotted on either side, with a larger town visible off in the distance.
Contrary to what I'd have expected, it didn't smell all that musky, and thankfully it didn't smell dank, either. What it smelled was earthy, with a little smoke and water, and a lot of something that smelled like how wheat looks. The planet was pretty much like what I'd been told a drug trip was like, but without most of the negative side effects. At least so far. And not counting the snakipedes, which were a bad drug trip all on their own.
As my eyes adjusted to the perspective, I realized the entire complex was built on a slope. And part of the river was actually a waterfall. In fact, as we started down the road toward the nearest village, I spotted several waterfalls behind us.
We didn't stop at the first village on the road's side of the river. Or rather, this road's side. Jeff pointed out another road on the other side of what was an interior valley within the mountainsâwe could make out specks that were Lecanora moving on it, meaning we were very far apart.
And we could see all of this clearly because the interior of the mountain gave off a soft golden glow.
“Do you think it's gold veins?” Chuckie asked me as we examined the wall next to us.
“No, because what would be making them glow? Gold's glow comes from light reflection, and I don't see another light source.”
“It must be like the snow outside,” Serene said. “I think the snow glows because of cold. Maybe this stone glows because of the lack of cold.”
“I don't think so,” Jeff said. “Let's worry about it later.” He was acting a little funny, but I decided not to ask him about it right now.
We trundled along for another hour until we reached a larger village than any we'd passed yet, on either side of the river. Fancy led us in andâafter having the bosthoon that were already in it removed by their ownersâhad King Benny's people put their bosthoon into a large corral.
Per Fancy, there were males in her clan, and we were meeting a lot of them, but all the warriors were female. The males ran the villages and most of the businesses, but the females handled all the military and most of the government, though Fancy ran the entire clan. Each village had an Under-Clan Leader, assigned by Fancy. She gave this status to males or females depending on her view of their ability to lead, so there were as many male Under-Clan Leaders as female ones.
“Does Haven run within the entire mountain range? Or, rather, as we're calling it, all within and under Iceland?” I asked her.
Fancy nodded. “Yes. The river starts at the edge of the world and runs to the All Seeing Mountain.”
“Wouldn't that mean it has to run uphill at some point?” Chuckie asked.
“Yes, particularly near the edge of the world,” Fancy said, as if this wasn't odd.
I wanted to ask more about this and I could tell Chuckie did, too, but Jeff changed the subject by requesting that we get down to the business of housing and feeding all of King Benny's people and livestock.
Before this could happen we had to do the Introduce the Gods and Their Amazing Traveling Companions thing, which was just as awkward and embarrassing as you'd imagine. But we were all getting used to being this world's Gods, and the katyhoppers and strautruch seemed unfazed, so we handled it well. Jeff refused to allow the Under-Clan Leader of this particular village, named Karason, to kill a bosthoon for a feast in our honor, which was a relief to many, the bosthoon in particular.
Jeff asked that King Benny's advisors and Under-Clan Leader Karason discuss the logistics, then he pulled me, Chuckie, Christopher, Fancy, and King Benny aside.
“We need to discuss more than what we're going to do for tonight,” Jeff said.
“We will sleep and travel with you in a few hours,” King Benny said.
“Look,” I said without a lot of preamble, “King Benny, you and your people have been great. However, there's trouble here, and we need to move more swiftly than we've been able to. And at the same time, we can't leave you and your people homeless and unprotected. Fancy, what are the protocols for them to move in with you guys? And I'm asking that in an extremely God-like way, with extremely God-like intentions.”
Fancy and King Benny looked at each other. “It was my understanding that only your clan is allowed to live here,” King Benny said politely.
“Your clan are our cousins,” Fancy replied. “And the Gods are requesting that we open our home to our family. I cannot refuse that request.”
“Sure you can,” I said. “But let me be very clear. I don't want King Benny's people shoved off to the side anymore. I don't want them mistreated, abused, ignored, starved, beaten, tortured, cast aside, or whatever nasty things your king does. He's already caused all of them to become castoffs and castaways from their original clans. Right now, all they have is each other. They're also the best example of worldwide cooperation you all seem to have. They need to be shown as examples of good, not bad.”
“In other words,” Chuckie added, “what Shealla means is that unless King Benny's people will be integrated into your clan with love and acceptance, we're not going to be happy.”
“That will not be an issue for my people,” Fancy said. “We have no quarrel with our cousins, and less with these cousins.”
“Because they saw what you did, but unlike you, they said something and suffered for it.”
Fancy looked at me sharply. “Yes.”
“You have seen the ships in the sky?” King Benny asked her.
“Yes, Musgraff, I have. All our people have. And we said nothing because we saw how the king was dealing with those who spoke the truth. We could not risk him attempting to banish us from Haven.”
Attempting. Didn't get the impression Fancy felt that the king would manage that banishment, but I could understand her not wanting to have to find out.
“So, basically, King Benny and all his people are braver than yours,” Christopher said.
Fancy stared at him. “How dare you say that to me?”
“He can dare because we've just spent time with your world's version of gypsies, who all faced down the snakipedes or the Horrors or whatever it is you guys call those terrifying flying snake-monsters without panicking. And they only had to do that because they were brave enough to speak the truth. You might be smarter than they are, but you're not braver.”
Fancy stared at me now, for a few long moments. Then she laughed. “You have a good point. Yes, we are smarter, in that sense. We hid our knowledge.”
“And yourselves,” Jeff said. “I mean, let's be honestâhow many outside of your clan know what Haven really is?”
“Few,” Fancy admitted.
“Who built Haven?” Chuckie asked. “Originally, I mean.”
“The Gods like to test us,” King Benny said. Which told me it was time to give it a good guess, lest we give Fancy reasons to once again think we weren't the real Gods.
“Alcalla does like to see who knows that the Father of the Gods gave them their blessings, it's very true.”
Score one for me. Fancy's eyes opened wider and King Benny looked pleased. Hoped the guys were looking like they'd already known this.
“Therefore,” Jeff said, without missing a beat, “since Haven was given to you by Our Father, it's not just for you, is it?” I was so proud.
“No, Leoalla, it is not, you are correct.” Fancy turned to King Benny. “Musgraff, would you and your people like to join with my clan?”
King Benny looked uncertain. Thought about why. “Ah, Fancy? There is one issue. His people see King Benny as Clan Leader. Not sure if they're going to be okay with the Under-Clan Leader thing.”
“No,” King Benny said. “They will accept it, because I see no reason to demand an equal position with Corzine. She has protected her clan better than any other Clan Leader and better than I have protected mine.”
“That's not true,” Fancy said. “You have done more than any other could have or would have. The Outcast were sent to the Barrens to die alone. You brought them together and joined the disparate cousins into one clan that has survived and thrived for two long years when none expected any of you to last a month.”
Interesting. So the king was a bastard, but then I'd known that already. But my Israelites comparison was apt and King Benny was more than the Guy With Antlers On His Headâhe was Moses, for this world, at least. And Moses was, among other things, a fighter.
“You want to go with us, don't you?” I asked him quietly. “But you don't want to leave your people unguarded. That's why you want to take them all with us, despite the obvious logistical problems. But that's dangerous for everyone, especially the people you want to protect the most.”
“Shealla speaks the truth, as always.” King Benny looked down. “I am ashamed of my hubris in wanting to continue to accompany the Gods.”
“There is no shame in that, Musgraff,” Fancy said gently. “I, too, wish to go with them.”
“Awesome. Fancy, figure out where King Benny's clan can settle downâand be sure it's not someplace crappy, and also be sure that it's not with others of your clan who will resent their taking up land and such that was someone else's to begin with.” Why start an Israel-Palestine issue on this world? Planet Colorful had enough of its own problems, we didn't need to export some of ours to them.
“There is space between this town and the next,” Fancy said. “I will ensure that both Under-Clan Leaders understand that their favor with me is dependent upon Musgraff's clan being accepted and integrated in with our clans and into Haven.”
“Super. King Benny, put Nanda or Skunky in charge of your clan while you're gone, whichever one of them is the most levelheaded and agrees with your leadership style the most.”
He looked shocked. “You wish me to come with you, Shealla?”
“Indeed. You've been far more help to us than you realize. Oh, and Ginger and Wilbur are coming with us, too, but I want to leave the rest of the ocellars and chochos here, along with all the bosthoon. We'll go faster without the bosthoon, and I want to limit the number of additional animals we have along for a variety of reasons, avoiding another Patrina and Pretty Girl scenario being the biggest.”
“Skunky will be a better leader than Nanda,” King Benny said. “He and I do not see tail-to-tail on everything, but he is more levelheaded and less inclined to make a rash decision that will be regretted later.”
“Nanda didn't really strike me as being overly rash.”
“She is not, but Skunky is less so.”
“It's your clan, you put whoever in charge you think is best,” Jeff said firmly. “Fancy, if you accompany us, who will protect Haven and, more importantly, ensure that King Benny's people are taken care of as we Gods wish them to be?”
“The same people who do so when I lead our raiding parties.”
“What do you raid?” Chuckie asked. Hoped the answer wasn't going to be other Lecanora clans, because that would mean we were taking King Benny and all his clan along with us.
Fancy smiled and showed all her teeth. Didn't get the impression it was a ferret thingâdefinitely got the impression she wanted to show all her teeth.
“We raid the king's palace. All the time.”
“A
WESOME!”
Hey, this was the best news I could hope for.
“We also raid the nests where the Horrors come from,” Fancy said. “I believe you will be interested to discover where those nests are.”
Decided it was once again time to put the Megalomaniac Girl Guessing Skills into use. “They're somewhere within the king's complex or palace or whatever, aren't they?”
This time, while King Benny looked horrified, Fancy looked hella impressed. “They are indeed.”
“How long have the Horrors been around?”
“For as long as we can remember. But the king's palace was built intentionally to be near their nests.”
Confirmation, as if I'd needed it by now, that the snakipedes were created monsters, not something that this planet had come up with all on its own. Clearly Ronaldo or, more likely, LaRue had wanted easy access and close proximity to their “pets.”
“Bring a fighting force with you,” was all I said, however.
She nodded. “I will bring those you have met already. They are my best raiders, and it will cause less suspicion in my clan if they are the ones to go with us. Because we will not be sharing with anyone where we are going with the Gods, and Musgraff, I mean you, in particular.”
King Benny shook his head. “My people will panic if they know I'm leaving them here. I plan to tell them that we are looking for a suitable place for us to settle, that the Gods wish to join us, and that Clan Leader Corzine has graciously offered to come along and help me find the best place. The way the Gods move, I believe we will be reunited sooner as opposed to later.”
“Wise,” Chuckie said. “All of it.” Both King Benny and Fancy looked pleased by this. Apparently they had no issues believing Chuckie was the God of Wisdom. Couldn't argue with them on that one.
“We need to rest before we head out,” Jeff said.
Fancy nodded. “Of course. Preparations are being made.”
“We have other Gods we're looking for,” I said before we headed back. “Have you heard any rumors or news?”
Fancy shook her head. “Not up here. But we'll be traveling toward the Centerpoint of the World, and some of my clan who live nearer to the center of the world may have heard of more Gods arriving.”
King Benny gave me a warm smile. “We will find all your family, Shealla.”
Decided I didn't want to argue with this mindset, so we headed back to the others. A nice meal of fish, which came from the River of Dreamsâthe name of their river, not the Billy Joel album, though now I wanted to listen to that albumâand some kind of root vegetables was provided. It all tasted delicious and I hoped we weren't all going to die from allergic reactions later.
Thinking about how the only medical we had was in my purse made me think about Tito, and then worry about Tito, which brought all the worry I had about Jamie to the fore. What if she needed medical attention? What if Tito was hurt and couldn't doctor her even if we found them both? This worry opened the floodgates, and the worry about Kevin, and Brian, and Reader, and Tim, and Abigail came rushing in. Then felt guilty for not worrying at this moment about Rahmi, Rhee, and Gower, so filled out the Missing Set and worried about them, too.
Jeff picked it up. These days, I didn't add “of course” to that. The emotional overlays and enhancers our enemies had created had caused him to focus less and less on his empathic talents. And the Bronze Land had just been a repeat performance, in that sense. But I could tell he was picking up my worry because he took my hand and squeezed it gently. I leaned against him and did my best to relax while we finished eating.
The Ferret Clan did a lot of travel up and down their vast underground country. I was interested to discover that there were more Lecanora here than just ferrets, however. Beavers and otters and many other mustelidae species were representedâeasily as many as were in King Benny's Gypsy Clan, possibly more. But to a one, they all had white fur.
Realized they weren't the Ferret Clan so much as they were the Albino Clan. Wondered if albinos were treated badly on this world or if it was just the usual for Planet Colorfulâyou matched your spiral's main color scheme. I was a betting girl, and I went with the latter.
Dinner over, we were able to use the excuse of having spent a day fighting off danger and go to bed. Well, to room. Because it turned out that the Lecanora didn't really use beds. They were into the “soft stuff on the floor” thing. I wasn't a fan.
However, when in Rome and all that blah, blah, blah meant that we had to smile and say that the mosses and such looked super, especially since we were being housed in Karason's home, which was both kind of him and an honor, in that sense.
The soft stuff on the floor was comfortable, especially as compared to the bare groundâcement wasn't going on in Havenâbut nothing like the beds at the Embassy or any other A-C facility, for that matter.
Now I desperately wanted to ask my purse for air mattresses, but I knew that would mean questions I couldn't possibly answer. On the positive side, we were given the nicest sleeping room this particular village had. On the negative side, the Lecanora tended to sleep in chummy family groups, meaning that we were
all
in the nicest sleeping room. Together. Katyhoppers, strautruch, Ginger, and Wilbur included.
This was a bummer because I'd really hoped that, if nothing else, Jeff and I could have some sexy times together. I was used to sleeping and having sex with cats and dogs around, and even Peregrines and Poofs, so Ginger and Wilbur weren't an issue. But doing the deed with everyone else around was out of the question. I could tell Lorraine and Claudia had been hoping for the same with Joe and Randy and, like me, weren't willing to go for it with a large audience.
And Karason's home had enough rooms that we could have split up, especially because he lived aloneâhis mate had passed away a few years ago and their children lived father up the river. But he hadn't offered that, and, Gods or not, it wasn't wise to risk sounding like whiny, demanding houseguests.
So we all settled down and tried to get to sleep. Frankly, we were all exhausted, so everyone fell asleep right away.
Everyone but me.
I was tired but wide awake. I had a thing where if everyone else was asleep I tended to stay awake. Guarding, I guess, though I'd been like this from well before I'd met the gang from A-C. If Jeff and I had been in our own room, I'd have been able to nod off because I wouldn't know that everyone else was asleep. I didn't have this issue in a place I called home or where I felt protected, but when I wasn't at home and we were in a danger situation, it kicked in. And it kicked in here, big-time.
Hadn't had this problem so much in Bizarro World. Then again, I'd woken up before everyone else there. Six of one, half a dozen of the other. Basically, sleep and I weren't as tight as I liked us to be when I was in action situations.
The golden glow from the rocks never fadedâthe homes here had dark coverings over all their windows so that they could sleep in the Land of the Midnight Glowing. So our room was dark, so dark that we'd decided to leave the door opened a bit, so we could all see if we woke up earlier than the others. But the glow wasn't what was keeping me awakeâI was used to the A-C Nightlight System, after all.
Sex with Jeff would exhaust me happily, but that was out. So was he. He was in a deep sleep and I was cuddled next to him, his arms wrapped around me, my head on his chest listening to his heartbeats. Normally this helped me nod off happily, but not right now. Wondered if I was going to sleep at all or if I was alert for a meaningful reason.
Heard a small noise and decided meaningful reason was the winner. Moved carefully out of Jeff's embrace and looked around. To see a small figure in the doorway. Make that two small figures.
Got up and went to the doorway. “Patrina, what are you and Pretty Girl doing here?” I whispered as I knelt down to be at her eye level.
Patrina, who was holding Pretty Girl, came inside and snuggled near me. “I can't sleep, Shealla.” Well, it was going around.
“Why not?” I sat down cross-legged and pulled her and Pretty Girl onto my lap. Ginger, who'd been snuggled next to me, got up and joined us, snuggling right back next to me. Hoped that whoever Jamie was with was taking care of her if she couldn't sleep or was missing her parents or was scared.
“There are no stars here.”
“Ah.” The Gypsy Clan was used to sleeping outside by now, and Patrina was young enough that it was probably what she knew best. “Well, the stars are still there, Patrina. We're just all inside, in fact, we're inside a gigantic mountain!”
“Really?”
“Really. The Father of the Gods created this to provide a Haven for his people. All his people, not just the ones with white fur.”
“The katyhoppers and strautruch, too?”
“Yes. Everything here was created by the Father of the Gods.”
“Not the Horrors,” she said solemnly.
“No, not the Horrors.”
“Can they get us here?”
Wanted to say no, but my brain nudged. We'd left a huge trail, and snow or not, that trail would have scent attached to it. There was no way the snakipedes weren't going to find it. Maybe not the ones who'd attacked us, but others. And I'd already determined that all they'd need to get inside Haven was a being with opposable thumbs to help open the door. Several beings, if they were normally strong for a human or a Lecanora.
But it only took one A-C.
Put Patrina off of my lap. “You and Pretty Girl stay here. If Ginger and I aren't back soon, you wake up Leoalla and tell him we went to make sure the door was locked. Then you wake up Wilbur and tell him to get all the ocellars and chochos ready to fight.” Jeff would handle the Lecanora.
“How long is soon?” Patrina asked.
Good question. I was wearing my watch but it had been a present from Jeff and had gone to Bizarro World and back with me, and now was traveling the galaxy with me. I didn't want to risk losing it.
Pinky opened his eyes and came over to us. He waved his antennaeâI could move fast enough without him and was strong enough to carry Ginger if we had to run, and he could stay mentally connected to me. If he lost the connection, or too much time passed, they would wake Jeff.
“You rock, Pinky.” Hugged Patrina and petted Pretty Girl, then grabbed my purse and slung it over my neck. “Figure I'll be back within fifteen minutes. If I'm gone longer than thirty, sound the alarm. C'mon, Ginger, time to patrol.”
With that Ginger and I slipped out of the room.