Keeping Pace (4 page)

Shit
. We’d left the kitchen a mess when he’d escorted me upstairs and, true to his word, tucked me into bed. I’d been more than annoyed last night, but this morning my sobered common sense cheered on Josh’s morals.

After a quick run through my morning ablutions, including downing a few aspirin, I headed downstairs to assess the damage. Frowning, I walked into the kitchen to find the empty bottles in the trash with the dishes washed and left to dry on the wooden rack. The cartons of food had been put away inside the refrigerator. I circled the cozy room, looking for I can’t even say what, knowing Josh’s thoughtfulness—again—endeared him to me that much more.

But what were his thoughts this morning?

Did he pity the lonely old woman next door and had given her a little titillation out of obligation? Did my rare drunken state turn him off for good, assuming he’d ever been turned on in the first place? A stiff breeze could give a man at his age an erection. That he’d had one might not have had anything to do with me.

I’d be lucky if, when I saw him again, he didn’t run screaming in the opposite direction. I’d acted like such a fool.

For the second day in a row, I arrived at work with my cheeks flaming hot. Linda’s mouth dropped open, ready to interrogate me, I’m sure, but I held up a hand as I walked past her. Between my still-pounding headache and monumental embarrassment, I didn’t have the strength to deal with her today.

Instead I went to my office in hopes of avoiding anyone and—especially—any noise. All I needed to do was make it through eight hours unmolested; then I could slink back home and shut myself away from everyone and everything.

“Lou told me he’d told you the news.”

I’d barely sat behind my desk when I was forced to look up and into the face of my rival. Stupid that I considered her such, but envy rode me hard. I couldn’t understand what Beth had that made her so damned likable. She was smart and capable, but not the wunderkind Lou made her out to be. “He did. Congratulations.”

“Thank you.” Her gaze shifted to the corner of my desk. “You’ve been a great mentor, Regina. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

I plastered a smile on my face. “Your success is all you. I had nothing to do with it.”

“Well…I mean…thanks.”

Instead of allowing myself to feel even the slightest trace of goodwill toward her, I grabbed one of the file folders sitting in an organizer. Not knowing the contents within, I pulled out a pen and settled into my chair. From where she stood, Beth would have to think I’d started to get busy. “Was there anything else?”

“Uh, no.”

She backed away, but before she crossed through the doorway, I recalled what Josh had reminded me of last night. “And Beth?”

Beth turned “Yes?”

“Find me for anything you need on the Stroh project. I’m happy to help in any way I can.” Those words were at least true.

Her mouth parted in a hesitant smile. She said nothing else, turned and left.

I managed to make it through the rest of the day without screaming in pain, despite the headache from hell that wouldn’t go away. If someone upstairs wanted to keep me from having a drink every night after work, He’d done a good job with this form of hangover. I was all but ensured never to have another sip for quite some time.

One thing I can say for the pounding in my head is that it kept me from focusing on Josh and our behavior for too long. In the rare moments when my mind disobeyed me, I consoled myself with the knowledge that not many women in their early forties could boast having had a lover in his twenties. It might have been a one-night stand, but it
had
happened, nonetheless.

By the time I arrived home, all I wanted to do was find my way into my bathroom and sink into the tub. I wanted to fill it with water as hot as I could manage, not caring how red my skin turned from dipping beneath its depths. Before last night, I might have taken a glass of Chardonnay in with me. Tonight, however, my company would be in the form of a book.

As I was rounding the corner to the stairs, something by the sliding glass door caught my eye. Edging closer, I furrowed my brow as I tried to make out the form. The post-dusk lighting did little to help my view. A misshapen paper rested against the glass, clearly on the other side of it. At first I dismissed it as trash that must have blown into my yard and landed there, but a little voice in my mind urged me closer. My mouth fell open as I finally recognized the bundle.

Two long-stemmed pink roses, the petals still tightly condensed and surrounded by white tissue paper, stood propped. I’ve been the recipient of flowers before, but for some reason this gesture was so simple and lovely, I didn’t know how to process it. All of my imaginings during the day that Josh had lost his respect for me, or that maybe the attraction was one-sided, crumbled into dust.

Suddenly the headache didn’t seem so bad, the need to sink into the bathtub not so urgent.

I glanced at my watch, realizing it was close to the time I’d twice before seen Josh, and decided to hurry. I retrieved the delicate flowers and gave them a place of honor on my dining room table before I headed upstairs.

When I stepped out of my quick shower a few minutes later, I slipped on an attractive sundress, sans bra and went to wait for him in the kitchen. Call me foolish for being the girl who waits by the phone, but it had been so long since I’d been pursued by any man.

The dates after Patrick died were few and far between. Not that I’m not attractive. It’s just that when men hit on me, their flirting always managed to come with bad timing. I didn’t like a lot of the men my friends set me up with, and the couple I did like apparently didn’t return the sentiment. Always the way, right?

Well, not this time. While I didn’t need a long-term relationship—not even close—satisfying sexual urges with my next-door neighbor didn’t seem so wrong. But the longer I sat at the table, sorting through the day’s junk mail, and listening to the clock tick away the time, the more uncomfortable I became.

What self-respecting woman, at my age no less, did this? When he came over—
if
he came over—the right thing to do would be to send him back home. Back to his life where pretty girls enjoyed Spring Break in Daytona, wore stilettos to their entry-level jobs and still managed to party on weekends. They didn’t think about coloring their hair to hide the encroaching gray or rely on specially designed brassieres to elevate their breasts. I, on the other hand, did.

Knowing what I had to do, and feeling every bit my age, I picked up a magazine that stood out from the pile. The words on the pages swam before my eyes, but I kept up the pretense of reading. Anything to keep from heading farther down the path of self-deprecation. Damn Josh for shattering my once regimented life and reintroducing me to an existence where I fantasized. As soon as I left the seductive hold of fantasy, reality crashed into me until I couldn’t breathe from the harshness of it.

The doorbell rang, snapping me out of my thoughts. My heart pounded as I stood, the motion so slow it made my knees ache. Josh waited for me on the opposite side of the door, no doubt. What did I do about it, though—allow him in or send him away?

I pushed away from the table, my mind in turmoil. With every step I made to the front door, however, I noticed my chin lifted. My back straightened. Somehow I developed a glide in my step that elevated my simple walk into a prowl. As before, doubts faded and my confidence grew. Just knowing that he stood on the other side waiting for me bolstered my ego.

Standing on tiptoe, I peered through the peephole at an impossibly young Josh holding a pizza box. Smiling wide, I slid back the deadbolt and opened the door.

There was heat in his soulful green eyes when he looked at me. My breath caught as I stared back at him. Dressed in a simple black T-shirt and blue jeans, he shouldn’t have been able to pull off devastatingly handsome. Yet he did. And well.

Had men looked like this when I was twenty-six? I didn’t think so.

Neither of us said a word as he stepped inside. Josh laid the box down on the decorative table. The scents from the box were almost distracting. My stomach had been rumbling while I sat at the table, an obvious demand for sustenance.

I wondered briefly about the kind of pizza man he would turn out to be. Probably loaded with meat, nary a vegetable in sight. Turning my focus there helped settle about two of the one hundred million nerves firing in my body.

He took a moment to steady the pizza box before turning back to me.

I still stood in the open doorway when Josh pulled me into his arms, leaving no space between us. There could be no doubt in my mind whether the person who held me now was a very mature, very grown up—and very aroused—man.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” he murmured. Our mouths were so close together his lips brushed mine when he spoke. “But I found your special request.”

I wanted his kiss but resisted the temptation to force our mouths to connect. The intimacy of the way we stood now seemed to join us better than any mere kiss could. In our closeness, Josh became the very air I breathed. “My special request?”

“I had to go to three stores before I found it.”

My puzzlement was genuine. What had I requested of him? We’d talked for a while before I’d drifted to sleep last night, but the fog that surrounded me this morning kept the details of that conversation out of my reach.

Just thinking about last night and what could have been made my pussy moisten. My belly fluttered, and I internally rejoiced in the idea that tonight there would be no excuse for holding back. Based on our current position, my hardening nipples flattened against the lean length of his torso, his arousal pressing into my belly—despite the pizza box next to us with its enticing aromas—food would be the last thing on our minds for some time.

I’d brought my hands to his shoulders, holding on to Josh as if afraid I’d collapse. I don’t recall at which point his lips opened against mine, when his mouth met mine, his tongue inserting between my lips to touch the inside of my mouth, but soon it was all I knew. His fingers twined in my hair, holding me closer as if he would crawl inside me if he could. I recognized and understood the feeling. His ardor aroused a desire to be with Josh on a level that made no sense.

The distant sound of catcalls was the only thing that kept me from melting into him right there. It was the noise of onlookers, enjoying or perhaps disgusted by our display. I mentally kicked myself for becoming so swept up in him publicly. I didn’t know my neighbors well, but I retained a bit of knowledge about them and they must have learned a few things about me. I had an appearance to keep up, and seductress was not the image I wanted others to envision when they thought of the widow next door.

“Come inside,” I said when I found the will to pull away. My heart pounded, and I was almost breathless.

We didn’t speak any more after Josh closed the door, and I expected him to pounce. A strap of my dress had fallen down my shoulder, and I considered briefly letting the other one fall as well. I wanted to stand nude before him, this man who desired me.

His hand lighted on my back, at the fallen strap, as if he’d been reading my thoughts. His touch was light, but his fingers burned my skin as he pushed the strap back onto my shoulder. Surprised, I turned.

“Thank you, but that’s not… I thought maybe…”

Josh lifted the box. “It’s Friday night, and we have the entire weekend ahead of us. I want to do this right, Regina.”

“Food first?”

“Dinner and a movie. Right.”

The conversation directed us toward the living room. After finally noticing the black case, I pointed toward the DVD player. There wasn’t a decorative cover on the case, so the movie inside remained a mystery for now. Josh made himself at home, reaching for the remote control before operating the player. Within seconds the sound of the machine opening and closing filled the silence.

He’d set the pizza box on the coffee table, and I settled onto the couch perched before it. By now my stomach rumbled noisily. “What kind of toppings did you get?”

Josh frowned as he stood and made his way next to me. “How much of yesterday do you remember?”

Heat bloomed on my cheeks. “The part that counts,” I said shyly.

He laughed. “No—I mean afterward. When we were in your bedroom. You were so sleepy…” His face softened. “And beautiful. The most content I’ve ever seen a woman.”

How did I respond to that? Besides blushing, of course. Josh managed to compliment me in almost everything he said, with almost everything he did. The best part of it all was that it came to him genuinely. I couldn’t detect the slightest bit of effort on his part. He didn’t have to try to seduce me. He just did.

“You said you wanted pepperoni and onions,” he continued. “Not the most date-friendly but probably pretty tasty.”

“Oh my God. I
love
that combination!” I turned toward the television, glad the previews had played on as we chatted. “And the movie?”

Josh kicked off his shoes and lifted one leg onto the couch. He opened his arms, inviting me into his embrace. Without hesitation I moved to him, laying my back to his chest. We cuddled together like old lovers, as if we did this every night of our lives.

“Also not the most romantic, and I cannot believe how difficult it was to find.” Josh reached for a slice of pizza, handing me one glistening with grease. “But my lady’s wish is my command…”

I screeched when the credits finally rolled and the old familiar scenes came to life. “You’re wonderful,” I exclaimed, already glued to the screen.

Josh chuckled. “I cannot believe for our first date, we’re watching
Pete’s Dragon
.”

Chapter Five

“What did you do today?” I asked him after we’d finished eating. The movie played in the background, but to make this the date Josh wanted it to be, a little conversation was in order.

“In between kicking myself for not getting your number before I left, I did the most mundane thing I could to stop thinking about the way you felt last night.”

I smiled. I don’t think I’d ever stopped blushing. “And what was that?”