Keeping Pace (3 page)

“I would feel better if you took it. Please.”

“Tell me this first. Do you feel bad because of what you did or because I saw you?”

He didn’t hesitate. “I feel guilty for embarrassing you.”

“And if I say I’m not embarrassed?”

“Then I can’t say I feel guilty about any of it.”

My mouth curved up in a smile. This was the young man I’d watched last night. Arrogant yet with a sense of righteous justification held within his stance. Now bolstered within his statement. It was enough to remove some of the bruising from my own mood.

I took a step back and mildly wondered if I saw a part of his ego deflate. I made way for him to enter my home, however. “Joshua, why don’t you come on in and share a glass of that wine with me? I hate to drink alone if I can avoid it.”

Chapter Three

Thoughts of whether he could see the gray strands in my scalp consumed me as we made our way into the kitchen. I also wondered what I was doing by inviting him in. So what if he was a little flirtatious? What good-looking man at his age wasn’t? If I tried to make it out to be more than that, I might make a fool of myself. Something to ponder.

We rounded the wall where I kept eight orchids on display, those thoughts chasing me.

“These are gorgeous,” he said. “I’m afraid I have a black thumb—anything I try to grow just withers and dies.”

“Orchids are easy,” I replied. “You just have to know how to handle them.”

“That could be said about any number of things.”

“Good point.”

I withdrew a corkscrew from one of the kitchen drawers before we’d fully ventured through the doorway. Many modern people enjoyed using one of those Rabbits to uncork a bottle, but I prefer the old-fashioned method. The only Rabbit I needed in my life was battery operated. “Take opening a bottle, for example,” I said.

Josh took the corkscrew from me gently. “There is definitely an art in handling this task.” Fascinated, I watched him slice the foil around the cork and then dig the metal screw into the spongy plug. After a few quick twists, he pulled upward with ease, dislodging the cork.

The amazement must have shown on my face. Wine sommeliers and connoisseurs tended to be the only people I knew of who moved with such deft confidence. “I waited tables as an undergrad,” he said with a wink. “If a table ordered wine, they tended to tip bigger. I learned how to pour a bottle properly in a hurry.”

“I take it you’re no longer in school?” His confirmation would help me feel a little better. Despite the casual atmosphere we’d generated between us, his youth still taunted me.

“Grad school. Almost done.”

“That’s amazing.” And I meant it. My education didn’t go further than undergraduate schooling, despite my constantly telling myself I should return for a higher degree.

“Oh. I’m sorry… I should have asked…”

His sudden change of topic and subsequent confusion baffled me until I followed his line of sight. In my excitement, I’d forgotten the glass of wine sitting next to the telephone. Not far beyond it, the open bottle of wine I’d set there earlier told a story of its own. Now there were two bottles open. “Don’t worry. Good wine never goes to waste.”

“It looks like you were going to order dinner too, though.” Joshua looked chagrined. “I can’t seem to do any of this right.”

“Any of what?”

“It’s just me over there, and I was kind of wondering if maybe you’d care for some company.” He dropped his gaze, something on the parquet flooring suddenly needing his immediate scrutiny. “I mean, if you weren’t busy.”

My pulse began to race. I tried to put him at ease because I was touched by his boyish charm. “I’d love to, and since you brought the wine, dinner is on me. Take your pick from the menu, and we’ll place an order.”

Conversation flowed easily as we waited, which seemed odd to me. I thought there would be lots of stops and starts, all awkward.

By the time the food came, the bottle Joshua brought was empty. I can’t say who had most of it, but I couldn’t recall my glass ever being empty. Making my way to the door to pay the deliveryman took a slight bit of concentration on my part. I didn’t want to appear buzzed in front of Joshua, despite the very same being true. His gaze rarely left me, to the point I felt its heated caress as I walked away from him.

He made himself at home, opening the containers and sorting through my kitchen drawers after I placed the bags on the table. My mouth watered as we were assaulted by the scents of meat swimming in rich sauces and smoky char-grilled vegetables.

“So wait, you did all the work and they gave your project to someone else? What a slap in the face,” he said, continuing the conversation we’d had before we’d been interrupted by the doorbell.

“Exactly!” I don’t recall when I’d started telling him about Beth. Maybe sometime around when he’d asked what I did for a living. Tongue loosened with alcohol, I’d easily dished every bit of the office rivalry with him. I don’t know if I would have been so bold under other circumstances, but his attention made talking to him about it too easy.

“So what are you going to do about it?” He dished out the food onto plates, and settled into his chair.

I bit into an asparagus spear. “That’s the problem, I don’t really know. The PC thing to do would be congratulate her and take a back seat.”

We ate in silence for a few minutes, taking sips of wine between bites. Finally he said, “But you’ve worked hard on a project you’re passionate about.”

“And that’s why I’m tempted to
assist
.” I gave an exaggerated shudder as I said the last word.

Joshua laughed, then turned serious. “It wouldn’t make you less of a person to help the project succeed. It’s about the kids. Not about what’s going on between you and Beth.”

Of course he was right, but to hear him say it made something inside me melt. At once he didn’t seem as young as I’d thought only yesterday, but on par with any of my peers. Sure, some wrinkles around the eyes or a few strands of gray hair would have helped, but my uneasiness seemed to have vanished. “You think and act very much like an old soul. Has anyone ever told you that?”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Not at all,” I murmured.

My lids were heavy from our libation, and I chalked up Joshua’s even more vibrant appeal to having consumed more wine than I should have. I saw from the corner of my eye three empty bottles, which tattled on just how heavily we’d been drinking tonight. All of it caught up to me, and my head swam with luxuriant intensity. Unfortunately, that was also my signal. Once I started feeling this way, my inhabitations would soon fall by the wayside.

With both our plates cleared of food and the wineglasses truly empty, I pulled the uneaten containers closer. “It’s getting late, Joshua—”

“Josh. Please.”

“Josh.” I smiled. It felt lopsided. “I need to put these things away and get ready to face Beth in the morning.”

“Sure, I understand.” He put his knife and fork on the plate next to him. “But I hope we can do this again. You’re great company.”

“I’d like that.” And I meant it. It dawned on me that we’d spent most of the night talking about me, and I knew very little about him still.

I rose on unsteady legs, unprepared for when they refused to support me. Josh jumped to his feet, obviously in a much better state than I, and wrapped his arm around my waist. Without his support, I would have hit the floor hard. “Whoa. Steady there.”

My breasts pressed against his chest, our faces only inches apart. I smelled the remnants of the gourmet delivery surrounded by subtle hints of alcohol. Desire swelled within me, and I weakly fought it into submission, though it would not die without a struggle. I saw a hint of lust reflecting in his eyes and prayed I didn’t imagine it.

Josh’s gaze dropped to my lips before travelling to meet my eyes again.

No. Not imagined at all.

“You’re so young,” I said softly.

“Twenty-six. Not that young.”

Fifteen years my junior. A full generation between us. The realization didn’t stop me from wanting him to lower his face to mine and devour my mouth in a kiss.

He brought his mouth to mine, brushing it with the gentlest caress that sent a shiver rippling through me instead. I ached for more and released a soft whimper of protest when he didn’t give in to my wants. Intense green eyes searched mine before he said, “Not like this, Regina.”

The use of my first name brought the reality of this evening crashing into me. He didn’t understand.
This
was exactly how I needed it. How I wanted it. With this lonely life, I’d earned the right to throw responsibility out the window and let my id run rampant. I’d promised Patrick I would live. And I wanted to do so now.

I threaded my fingers into Josh’s short brown hair and brought his lips to mine. I opened my mouth against his, the urgency of connecting to him on a physical level driving me until I knew nothing else. It crossed my mind only seconds after our tongues connected that he might reject me. When he breathed into me, tasted me, that thought shattered.

Finding his unoccupied hand, I brought it to my breast, offering more than just a kiss to him.

“You’re tempting,” Josh muttered after breaking away. “So very tempting…but you’ve also been drinking.”

I licked his bottom lip. “I’m fully aware of what I’m doing.”

“I need you to be able to say that in the morning.” He kissed me again. “I won’t be satisfied with just one night.”

Guiding his hand beneath my shirt, I let him touch my bare skin. “But what an amazing one night it could be.”

“Gina…”

I shivered at the way he said my name with such longing. That he’d dropped the first syllable before surrendering himself to another kiss bolstered my ego. Apparently he’d had more of the wine than I’d previously suspected.

I maneuvered my back to the table, still unsure as to whether my legs would support me, and rested on its edge. Josh kissed me as if a hunger had awakened in him and only delving into my mouth would satisfy it. I thrived on that power. He leaned into me, and soon the table supported our combined weight. The bulge in his jeans pressed into me, but I didn’t need the physical evidence of his arousal. Josh explored my lips and tongue as an expert.

His hand moved to the top of my thigh. Stroking. Kneading. Perhaps doing only as much as he would allow himself but plenty to fuel my ardor. Moaning, I lifted the edge of my skirt, gave Josh access to the tops of my stockings. He trailed over the lace edges before lowering his touch to safer areas.

“More, Josh. Give me more…” Yes, I was drunk on the wine, but his kissing, his touching, potentiated the drink’s effects ten-fold.

“Just this—”

I swallowed his words, for I did not want them to become a promise. He held his passion back with more restraint than men I’d known twice his age. Tonight I needed him to unleash it.

His fingers slid up again, moving over the lace, and then higher. Josh stroked over the material covering my sex, and then with a groan moved it aside. His touch on my bare skin made me shudder immediately.

“Gina, be sure.”

I twisted, tilting my pelvis toward him. I sealed my promise that I understood, that I wanted this, by offering another heated kiss. He answered by pushing two fingers into me. They curled inside, brushing some sweet spot that made me arch. When his thumb brushed over my swollen clit, I moaned into his mouth.

Anyone who dared peek into my kitchen window right now would behold a glorious sight. Josh held me by one arm as I leaned back, my thighs spread, my skirt bunched around my waist. My shirt had twisted in our frantic groping. He’d positioned himself between my legs, one of his hands hidden beneath the material of my panties. We writhed together as he played with my body, bringing me to a ledge over which I wanted to jump before pulling me away again. He did this again and again, teasing me ever closer, never letting me fall.

Pleasure and sensation wound tightly through me, and inhaling the scent of Josh, savoring his taste and my mind traveling to the memory of yesterday and the reality of now, I felt assaulted from all sides and angles.

Our hungry kissing left my lips swollen, my cheeks and chin burning from the scrape of his light stubble. It’d been too long since I felt this wanton, this desired.

“Oh God…” My hands tightened on his biceps, the muscle unyielding beneath my grip. But I needed an anchor, something that would keep me tethered to the earth as Josh pushed me toward the stars.

“Don’t hold back, Gina. Let me see you come.”

His words spurred me higher, and something within me tightened. It exploded on a rush, shattering with such force that I cried out. I threw my head back, too focused on the way I’d come undone to hold myself together any longer. But Josh was there. Josh clung to me as I shuddered. As my muscles locked and bowed to the pleasure.

“Oh my God…” I moaned at last when my voice would work again. He’d eased his touch, gentling me down from my high.

His lips touched mine, and he withdrew his hand at the same time. “Damn, you’re beautiful like that. I can’t wait to see it again.”

“So let’s head upstairs,” I said between panting breaths.

“When we go upstairs, I’m going to tuck you in, and then I’m going home.” I made a soft noise, ready to disagree. He kissed me again, silencing the protest. “Not tonight. Not like this. But soon, I hope.”

Josh’s erection prodded me in the belly, but the determination in his eyes made me give up. He wanted more for me, and my heart jumped a little at the realization. I didn’t know this man well yet, but I had every intention of finding out more. For now I settled for his nuzzling kisses, his arms draped around me. His nonverbal promise of an amazing night to come.

Chapter Four

A screaming headache woke me. My tongue felt furry while the pounding in my temples chastised me for my overindulgence. The night before a workday, no less. I still wore yesterday’s shirt and skirt, but a quick glance verified my stockings had been draped over the cherrywood footboard.

“Josh.” I groaned, remembering what I’d done with him. What I hadn’t done. Pushing my hand through my hair, I sat up. My stomach lurched in protest, and I vowed slower movement if it would keep dinner’s contents inside.