Keeper (Matefinder Next Generation Book 1) (13 page)

“Dad can’t reach you. He said it feels like you died,” Jaxon murmured.

I wiped my tears and looked again at Gavin wearing my wolf. “I did.” I breathed. This was hands down the most awful feeling in the world.

Lina approached me cautiously. “It’s time to be reborn. Before it’s too late. The fever will try to take you now.”

Jaxon growled, low and husky. It gave me chills. “You’re sending my sister into the woods with no food, no water, and now no wolf!”

Lina looked fierce then. “Spirit will sustain her until she can find her power. Have faith.”

Jaxon sidestepped me and advanced on Lina, glaring her down.

“How can you be sure?” Jaxon’s neck veins were bulging and he was sooo channeling my dad right now. Mom, too.

Lina’s features softened then. “Because I did it, too. We all have.” She gestured to the warriors that had awoken and were now suiting up. “I was thirteen, knew nothing of life and what my path would be. I found it out there, away from man.” She gestured to the thick woods that surrounded the lush green property.

Jaxon wasn’t backing down. “Why my sister? Isn’t this Gavin’s journey?”

Gavin, in wolf form, head hung low, walked over to rest at my feet. He was ashamed, I felt it through the bond, guilt ridden.

Nahuel spoke to Jaxon as I continued to stand there in shock. “They are Perfect Mates, agreed to take on each other’s burdens long before their bodies were conceived here on Earth. His path has now become her path.”

Whoa, again with the heavy. I squatted down finally and stared my wolf – Gavin’s wolf – in the eye. I don’t know how the hell this was possible; how I could be wolfless and … now … human? No, I felt my magic coursing inside of me, but I … I wasn’t a werewolf. Just a muted half witch with a gaping hole inside of my soul. I couldn’t feel the pack or my father or Avery or anyone. Oh God, I felt sick to my stomach at the thought. I reached out and stroked Gavin’s fur. It brought me a small comfort but the idea that I couldn’t shift, that my wolf was gone … it was maddening.

Gavin whined.
‘I’m sorry. I can’t control it. It just happened. It took over.’

Then he opened himself fully using our matebond and I was flooded with feelings and images he had been holding back ever since he got word last night about his lineage. He had been enraged, scared, but now … he was complete, excited. He had felt empty his whole life and now, after stealing my wolf, his soul was complete. He was whole and I was the one left feeling empty.

Lina spoke to Jax now. “It’s old magic. Perfect Mates. Light Keeper and Matefinder. Who knows what they are capable of?” Lina exclaimed.

Jaxon still seemed disturbed. “So he’s a wolf and she’s–”

Lina straightened her posture and nodded to Nahuel who handed her a smoking sage bundle. “She needs to find her new form. Now.”

I swayed with the fever as sweat broke out onto my forehead. It was so much more intense now that I was a weak human. Oh God, if I was injured, I wouldn’t regenerate like a werewolf.

I gave Gavin one last pat and stood. My stomach was eating itself I was so damn hungry. The lingering smell of bacon was seriously fricken torture. I eyed everyone suspiciously knowing that they had awoken early and eaten without me. The sage smoke danced around me, skimming my skin and swirling about my body. I took a deep cleansing breath and searched for my pack bonds. I felt Jaxon, my twin; Gavin, my mate, but everyone else was static, muffled … lost. I wanted to cry but there was no room for weakness now.

“I’m ready.” I made sure my voice didn’t waver.

Suddenly, the warriors began to drum heavily and something stirred deep within me, something that had been there all along but I had never been able to put a name to. A deep yearning for my sense of purpose. I had grown up living my whole life in my mother’s shadow, the Matefinder. I needed to find my own path and now I would. If I could survive.

Lina walked over to where I stood and met my eyes. There was a warm kindness in her strong gaze that I never noticed before. She placed one hand over my heart and her other hand over her own heart. “Sister, I lend you my courage for your journey. Find your power with grace and ease.”

Warmth trickled through my limbs and tears sprung in my eyes as some sort of connection formed in me; a connection that linked Lina to me, like a pack. Lina, I could now see, was full of so much love. I nodded.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

Nahuel stood before me then, seeming mildly anxious but also full of pride. He placed a hand on my chest as Lina had done and one on his own. “Daughter, I lend you my wisdom for your journey, may it guide you on your path.” Electric jolts danced up my spine and I gasped as my fever flared to life. But again I felt some sort of pack type of connection to Nahuel.

Jaxon frowned, but I breathed through it and pushed it down, standing tall and strong. Next, each warrior came to place their hand on my chest, each one lent me their strength and with each one I felt stronger. The fever faded the slightest bit.

“She’s on borrowed time,” Lina stated and Gavin growled, and suddenly took off running to the tent where we had spent the night.

Lina left as well and slipped inside her tent, returning with a folded bundle of clothes and a carved bone dagger. She stood before me and handed the bundle to me. “Nothing made from a machine can accompany you on your soul’s journey. This cloth was hand dyed and woven and has been blessed. Nahuel carved this knife himself last night, just for you.”

I nodded and took the clothes gratefully, slipping into her tent to change. The cloth was so soft and beautifully designed, it was heavy and I knew it would keep me warm at night. Slipping the skirt on, I saw that it fell to mid-calf. I tossed my machine-made underwear and bra on the floor and slipped the soft cotton tunic top over the skirt. Guess I was going commando on this journey. I eyed some leather moccasins that were also in the bundle and slipped them on. They were lined with lamb’s wool and extremely comfortable. Lastly, I tied the leather belt around my waist and slipped the bone dagger inside, snuggly riding against my hip bone. Reaching up, I quickly tied my hair into a long braid to keep it out of my face.

When I stepped out of the tent, Gavin was standing before me in low slung sweatpants and no t-shirt. His eyes burned yellow and his face was drawn with concern.

“You can’t go alone. Not without me, or Jaxon, or your wolf. It’s not right. It should be me going.” He paused, looking down. “I’m so sorry.” His voice was husky and raw and his eyes swam with emotion.

I smiled weakly and stepped up on my tiptoes to whisper in his ear. His 24-hour stubble tickled my cheek as I spoke. “Since the night the dreams began, I wanted you to be mine. I’m glad you have my wolf, she will keep you safe, and I
will
come back to you. I promise.”

Then I stepped back down and looked up at him as his lips crashed into mine. I was aware that everyone was watching and I didn’t give two shits. I met his kiss with mirrored passion and relished in the way he tasted, the way he felt. I wanted more of these moments, thousands more, not these quick and rushed displays of affection. It was clear that I had been brought into Gavin’s life to save him, now I needed to save myself.

Finally, I pulled back and squeezed his hand. He held my gaze, my own wolf peering out behind his eyes. Well, it was his wolf now; it was time to let her go. I nodded to him, dropping his hand and walked over to the ceremonial fire that was blazing. Jaxon was pacing in his wolf form just behind the warriors.

Lina nodded as I entered the circle. The sun shone high in the sky.

Lina walked in long fluid strides over to where I stood and gave me a leather hand-sewn canteen full of water. Oh, thank God, they weren’t actively trying to kill me. I slung it around my shoulder and Lina looked me up and down, beaming with pride.

“I am the keeper of this land, over a thousand acres of raw untouched wildlife.” She gestured behind the tents and into the thick green forest. “The warriors and your brother will guard the perimeter of the land from evil. You will walk and sleep and eat and breathe and live the forest until you come home whole.” Her eyes blazed with intensity then and my heart began to race in anxiety. She expected me to walk around a thousand acres with a raging fever and no food … and not die? Shit. I was so screwed.

Lina’s eyes narrowed as if she picked up on my thoughts. “Remember, you have courage, wisdom and strength. I send you on this journey to find your soul’s purpose and remind you that you have all the tools you need.”

She was right, I was my mother’s daughter. Bring it on.

When they had first told me about the prospect of running around the woods alone, I wasn’t fazed because I knew my wolf could handle it. My wolf ran over creeks, rolled in moss, peed on fallen logs. But without my wolf, I was just another twenty-year-old chick alone in the woods and had already squealed three times because of spiders and a garden snake. I had no watch and no way of telling time except the setting sun. I had heard my brother’s wolf howl twice and Gavin howl once. Did that mean they were fighting something? Or were they just letting me know they were out there somewhere? I tightened my grip on the dagger just to be sure. The woods had thinned out into a beautiful meadow and I saw some dandelions. My stomach growled as I jogged over to begin pulling the edible flowers. I grew up on a mountain with a pack of wild werewolves, you bet your ass I knew how to forage for food up here. I wouldn’t have anything great like rabbit meat because I had no fire and no wolf, to hunt. But flowers, roots, and berries would get me through.

I had spent the entire day hiking through the woods and was no closer to a spiritual epiphany than I was to a cheeseburger. Mmm … cheeseburger … with bacon… and spicy mayo. I eyed the dandelions and blackberries in my hand with disdain. If I survived this little quest, I was legit rushing to the nearest burger joint afterwards and ordering everything on the menu.

I picked a nice flat rock and sat down, picking the stems off of my dinner. My wolf liked the sweet, crunchy taste of the dandelion flowers, but my human side? Not so much, so I would stick to the stems. As I munched on flower stems and berries I took in my surroundings. The Canadian country was jaw droppingly beautiful. If I wasn’t raging with fever and scared of dying without my wolf, I would even say I was enjoying my time here. Everything was simpler, alone in the woods. No bills to pay, no cell phone to check, no house to clean, no relationships to maintain. You just put one foot in front of the other and walk, all while drinking in the towering massive trees and singing birds. I could see the appeal and why the natives encouraged this type of thing. If I had done this at thirteen years old I would probably be a different person than I was today.

As the sun began to set, I thought of Avery and Mason, my mom and dad. How was the pack? I felt like a rogue wolf with no comforting presence inside of me. Then my thoughts turned darker. I reflected on this Skin Walker douche bag and what he did to Gavin’s teenage mother. He was evil incarnate. Just then, a wolf’s howl rose up and I didn’t recognize it as Jaxon or Gavin. I swallowed hard, eyeing the trees in the clearing as a gust of wind kicked up and the leaves rattled like crazy, sending chills down my arms. I was about to be drenched in total darkness with no light or fire. Shit. It was going to be a long night.

Standing, I picked up my pace and trekked across the clearing. After finding a grove of huge Douglas Firs, I settled into the base of a Red Creek Fir. The largest tree I had ever seen, bigger than the ones on my father’s mountain. The base was as wide as my car and had a half hollowed out center that I was able to squeeze myself into comfortably. It would be a good shelter and companion for me to rest my back against and pass the time. Would I sleep tonight? Hell no. There could be a Skin Walker child rapist running around wearing animal skins. Bet your ass I was gripping this knife like my life depended on it and praying this quest was over soon. I still wasn’t even sure what the hell I was supposed to find or do. Clearly Gavin was fine, he had my wolf, now I was in danger of dying half empty and I wasn’t sure what the remedy for that was. Find a wolf? Sacrifice it and merge our souls? Was that crap even possible?

God, I wished my mother was here, she was into all this spiritual juju and she would know what I was supposed to do. Yoga, meditation? What! I was just about to start braiding the fringe on the hem of my dress to pass the hours and keep me awake, when I heard a twig snap nearby. Darkness had descended on this neck of the woods and with the trees being so thick, only slivers of moonlight made their way to the forest floor.

I held my breath and listened for more, other than the insane beating of my heart, I heard nothing. I exhaled. Another twig snapped. Shit frick! My palms began to sweat as I gripped the homemade bone knife in my hand and chastised myself for crawling into this damn tree with no way out. If whoever was out there found me, I was dead. I couldn’t run, I was trapped. Then something occurred to me. I didn’t have my wolf anymore, but … I still had my magic. The snapping of twigs drew closer with every breath I took and I could swear I heard sniffing, like someone was tracking my scent.

I laid the bone knife in my lap and put my hands out in front of me to form a wall. Taking a deep breath, I felt for my magic. It was there! Pulsing and strong.

“Conceal,” I said in the barest of whispers and pushed my magic out. I had no idea if this was going to work. My wolf sure as hell wasn’t with me anymore but suddenly a hazy magical wall went up in front of the tree opening just as a huge, menacing black wolf walked in front of me and stopped. My breath caught as the wolf’s head turned and pinned me to the wall with its glowing red eyes. That was not a natural wolf … it was three times the size, and gave off an aura of evil.
Skin Walker.
I knew, I felt it, it was him. Mother-effer. I wanted to jump out and slit his throat for Haseya and Gavin. But I had to be realistic, I was basically a mid-level half witch hiding in a tree waiting for some animal powers to find me and hopefully make me a badass again. I barely breathed as it continued to stare at me, nostrils flaring. I slowly took the knife in my hands, ready for anything, but the wolf just gave a low growl and moved on, nose to the ground, sniffing and scouting.

I released my breath and leaned back, letting my head rest up against the tree. For the first time in my life I wanted someone to be talking inside my head. Being a twin and an Alpha’s daughter didn’t lend too much privacy but now I was desperate for companionship. Maybe that was the point. Being out here alone, I was supposed to find something more.

“Spirit, please guide me,” I whispered softly and waited but nothing happened. Sighing, I tried to brush off the sleepiness that was settling into my limbs. I was a fit chick but the ten hours of walking wasn’t exactly normal for me and with the fever sitting just under my skin, it exhausted me. Losing my wolf to my mate this morning, being sniffed out by a Skin Walker, that shit hit me like a train. I was so tired, I just wanted life to ease up a bit because it was coming on pretty strong right now. I allowed my lids to close for a second and that was it. Lights out.

Nahuel came to me in a dream. We were standing out in the same beautiful meadow I had eaten my berry and flower dinner at earlier. Nahuel had a full-feathered headdress on and a fire was lit. As I approached, he acknowledged me with a nod.

“Evil is afoot,” he said ominously.

I looked down at my body because it felt warm and heavy and I was shocked to see that thick patches of dark brown fur covered my arms and legs. What the? I shook it off. It was a dream.

“What am I supposed to do?” He was my guide, right?

Nahuel dropped down into a crouch and began to wordlessly trace in the dirt with a stick. I tried not to lose my shit, but I really needed some help here. I was hungry and tired and sleeping in a fricken tree while some evil raping bastard looked for me!

“Nahuel!” I shouted in anger.

His head snapped up. “Who are you? What’s your purpose? What can you offer the world?” Each question cut into me like a whip. I flinched as I pondered over his questions, but I had no answers for him. I didn’t know who I was anymore, or what the hell I was doing. I wasn’t even 100% certain that I had anything to offer the world.

Suddenly, the fur on my arms disappeared and was replaced with bandages, an I.V., and a medical gown. I started to panic and ripped out the I.V., fumbling backward.

“No!” I screamed and jerked awake.

My grip on the knife tightened and I looked around my small space in the tree. It was just a dream. The sun had started to rise above the tree tops but I couldn’t get that dream out of my head. My stomach grumbled and as much as I never wanted to leave the safety of this tree again, I had to pee wicked bad and I needed more fresh water. I dissolved the magical wall concealing my safe space and my joints groaned as I adjusted my position and slowly left my hole in the tree. Standing, I looked around wildly for any sign of danger but it was just me, the birds, and the rising sun.

*

              After peeing, and getting fresh water from the stream, I was at a loss for what to do next. That dream wigged me out and something had firmly settled in my gut. Some icky gnawing feeling that shit was about to hit the fan. I desperately needed a bath, but there was no way I was stripping down to wash in the creek while the pervy Skin Walker was out there.

Nahuel’s questions were rattling around inside my brain. Who am I? I’m a girl, I’m a Matefinder, a daughter, a twin, a … what? Was this a fricken riddle that needed solving? Before I could give anymore thought to it, the fever slammed into me with enough force to knock me over.

“Ahh,” I screamed and clutched my head while falling to my knees. Oh shit, oh God. My wolf was no longer with me and my frail human body was taking the brunt of this fire. It raged inside of me threatening to make me pass out.
Don’t pass out. Don’t pass out,
I told myself. My hands shook as I tried to think of a healing spell or anything that would lessen this ache between my eyes and the fire the licked across my skin. But my brain wasn’t working. I felt delirious; I had double vision and slow reflexes.

My brother’s howl rose up into the air and with it a small amount of the headache eased.
Jaxon.
Panting, I tried to stand when a splashing noise from the creek behind me caused me to spin around and come face to face with a big-ass bear. Oh, shit. She was huge, 300 pounds with dark brown fur and beady eyes. I blinked a few times trying to clear my vision, but the fever was pressing down on me and my cognitive functions were going. I was ready to drop, I could feel my legs weakening. No, no, no. The bear had me in her line of sight, and she growled, making her lips pull back and exposing her teeth. Oh, frick, this was it, I was done for. Then Gavin’s howl cut through the woods and my headache lessened a bit. I was able to stand steady, to breathe evenly.

Slowly, I began to back up and that’s when the bear charged, running full out, faster than a damn car. I knew that if I ran I would trigger her hunting instincts, but I didn’t care. She was already trying to hunt me. Turning quickly, I decided to just book it. I wouldn’t die without a fight; it wasn’t in my nature, but I would run my ass off for as long as I could. That’s when I came face to face with the Skin Walker. Standing naked in his human form wearing a cloak of black wolf-skin fur. Blood and dirt streaked his body and scars marred his torso. He was a white man, which surprised me. Blonde hair and blue eyes, fair skinned and evil to the core. He scanned my body with lust as the bear pounded the ground behind me. Pulling my dagger out in front of me, I readied myself for a fight to the death. His manhood would be on the floor if he tried to get it anywhere near me.

“You’re half dead already. I can save you. Give you a long and happy life with Gavin and your mom and dad. Make you a wolf again.” His voice had an airy trancelike quality and his eyes glowed fiery orange when he spoke, but I shook my head as I felt the bear’s vibrations behind me.

“I’d rather be mauled to death by this bear,” I told him and did a quick pivot holding my arm up, ready to dagger the bear in the chest. She was right there in front of me, eyes glowing silver … Wait, what? I dropped into a crouch at the last second just as she sailed over my head and landed on the Skin Walker with the force of a bullet.

Pain exploded in my chest and I turned to look at the commotion behind me. I couldn’t take my eyes away from the fight. The Skin Walker shifted instantly into his wolf form and began to attack the female bear, biting into her shoulder. I dropped to the ground in excruciating pain. Shaking, I peered at the throbbing in my shoulder and was shocked to see blood gushing from an open wound. What the? The bear took the Walker in her jaws and tossed him ten feet up into the air. Just before he landed, he transformed into a huge 400-pound black bear. No cracking of bones, no effort, just poof! Shape change.

The smaller female bear stood up on her hind legs, unafraid. She wailed a growl that vibrated in my chest; it broke every wall inside of me, it shattered my entire existence and left me raw, enlightened. As she charged the Walker I was sure of two things. One, this bear was me,
mine
. And second, I knew the answer to Nahuel’s questions. Who was I? Whatever the hell I wanted to be. Nobody decided for me. What’s my purpose? To use my power for good. Not like this evil prick. What can I offer the world?
Justice.

I gave my biggest battle cry as I ran with everything I had, fist raised into the air, and jumped high sailing through the air and landing on my bear’s back. I held on tightly to her fur as magic seeped from my pores. A blue super-fine mist coated my entire body, my bear, and even covered the Walker pinned beneath us. Meeting his eyes, I saw a flash of fear but then it was gone, replaced with cold, hard anger. His teeth came down, taking my bear’s neck into them and biting. I wailed as the magic poured out harder and I began to feel my skin fizzle and pop and … break down. I was losing myself. My human form was … meshing. And then I was looking out through her eyes. My bear, we were one. So much stronger than my wolf, so much more powerful, more brave. I used my huge claws to rake into the Walker’s stomach, opening those scars back up. He released his jaws from my neck and backed up glaring at me with glowing red eyes. My right hind leg was broken, my shoulder and neck bleeding profusely but I had a new-found courage and strength that wasn’t there with my wolf. I roared in his face spraying spit in a fine mist in front of me. His bear grinned and looked ready to charge again but then the air charged with something and I smelled a familiar scent. Sage. The sound of drums was beating on the perimeter of the trees. Nahuel, the warriors, Gavin, my twin, they were close. They were fighting their own battle, I could feel it. But their closeness gave the Walker pause. They were coming.