Katie's Journey to Love (6 page)

“Oh, Katie…”
Mamm
's face had fallen. “And you thought this would be
gut
news for me?”

Katie shook her head. “That news was something else. I talked with Ben Stoll after work,
Mamm
. Can you believe that? And he said a few words to me. I think he might like me once he really notices me.”

Mamm
groaned. “Oh, Katie. You're not over Ben? I thought that was done with a long time ago. Didn't I warn you about him?”

Katie nodded. “You did. But Ben is different than Daniel Kauffman,
Mamm
. No one is the same.”

Mamm
's hand trembled on Katie's shoulder. “That's what you think, Katie. Ben Stoll is nothing but trouble. I spent too many years running after a boy, hanging on to every smile he gave me, listening to every word he said, when there wasn't one ounce of love in his heart for me. I should know, Katie. I was loved by your
daett
and now by Jesse. Their love is much more
wunderbah
than anything I ever imagined with Daniel Kauffman.”

Katie looked away. “You could be right, I suppose. But you were wrong about Jesse, weren't you? You thought at first it wasn't
Da Hah
's will that you marry him. Now look at what you have.
What if
Da Hah
has something like that in store for Ben and me?”

Mamm
groaned as shadows crossed her face. “You take too much on yourself, Katie. You have a decent
daett
now, one who has great wisdom. I wish you would ask him about that boy. My guess is Jesse will tell you the same things I'm telling you. I don't trust Ben, Katie. You know I don't.”

“But that's because of Daniel Kauffman,” Katie said. “Ben isn't like that.”

Mamm
reached over to take Katie's hand. “There are a lot of similarities, Katie. I wish you could see them. I also couldn't get over Daniel—even when he was dating his present
frau
. I even dreamed he would break up with her—right up to the time of his wedding day when he said his vows with her. And then that awful thing I did right in front of them and the bishop himself. Do you want to be like that, Katie? Do you want that reputation?”

Katie didn't say anything. There was nothing she could say. She didn't wish to argue with
Mamm
, but her heart wasn't going to change.

Mamm
looked ready to say more, but she changed the subject instead. “Be that as it may, Katie, what concerns me right now are your Mennonite friends. I so wish you'd never met them.”
Mamm'
s eyes pleaded with Katie. “I saw Margaret and Susan at the wedding. They are nice enough, but they're not from our world. Surely you can make new friends among the Amish now that so much has changed for us.”

Katie shook her head. “Finding friends like Margaret and Susan is quite difficult.”

Mamm
didn't answer. She stared off into the distance.

“I'm not joining the Mennonites,” Katie told her.

“That's what they all say, Katie.”
Mamm
looked at her with mournful eyes. “The world has a powerful pull on all of our hearts.”

Before Katie could answer, Mabel appeared at the barn door. Catching sight of
Mamm
and Katie, she marched toward them.

“I couldn't find you!” Mabel told
Mamm
, as if she were addressing a small child. “I was wondering where you were.”

“Mabel,”
Mamm
said, “I was just out here helping Katie unhitch. Then we started talking.”

“Well, I wish you would tell me when you leave the house. That's what Carolyn and I do when we're working together.”

This is not your sister. This is your mamm!
Katie wanted to holler. But this was something
Mamm
had best handle.

“Look,”
Mamm
told Mabel, “perhaps we can talk about this tonight when your
daett
can be with us.”

“I don't see why
Daett
has to be involved.” Mabel wasn't backing down. “It's just the decent thing to do. You could have let me know instead of just disappearing on me.”

“Then I will try to be more careful in the future.”
Mamm
took Mabel's hand. “Come, let's all go to the house and get supper ready for the men. Katie and I have been talking longer than we should have, and it's high time we get started. We can't have supper late for your
daett
and brothers.”

“I never have a late supper,” Mabel said. “I started the potatoes boiling before I came out.”

Mamm
tried to smile over her shoulder at Katie as she motioned for her to follow.

“What were you and Katie talking about?” Mabel asked as
Mamm
led the way.

“Just catching up on Katie's day.”
Mamm
gave Mabel a smile, but Mabel didn't look convinced.

“Well,” Mabel said, “I'd like to know what it was about. I don't think families should keep secrets from each other.”

Mabel was one brash girl, Katie thought. If she were smaller she should be spanked, but at sixteen Mabel was way past that
point. And Mabel had been running her
daett
's household since her
mamm
died, apparently quite competently from how things looked around the house. But Mabel's mind was sure messed up. Thankfully,
Mamm
was now bringing some much-needed correction from the sounds of it.

“There are some secrets in every family, Mabel,”
Mamm
was saying. “That's just the way things are. Your
daett
and I have things we talk about, and we don't tell everyone. Your brothers will do the same, as will you and Carolyn in the future. The same thing is true for Katie and me. We have our private matters that concern only the two of us.”

Mabel turned around to look at Katie but didn't say anything. The look on her face said enough.

Chapter Six

That evening after supper the gas lantern hissed from its spot hanging from the ceiling above the gathered family. Katie leaned back on the couch, listening to Jesse reading from the Scriptures. She could see through the living room door where the stack of dirty dishes was still sitting on the kitchen counter. Jesse had stuck his head into the kitchen some ten minutes ago to announce that it was time for their evening devotions.
Mamm
had appeared ready to protest the interruption since they always finished the dishes at home right after supper. But there hadn't been a
daett
around all those years, especially one with a mind of his own.
Mamm
had forced a smile and left the dirty dishes.

Mabel looked quite smug after watching the exchange between her
daett
and
Mamm
. She was no doubt used to the schedule and was glad to see that
Mamm
had to give in on something so quickly after the wedding.

Mamm
was now sitting on the other couch, a look of contentment on her face. The dirty dishes were apparently forgotten.
Little Joel sat on the couch leaning against
Mamm
.
Mamm
's arm was wrapped around his shoulders. Jesse was sitting in his rocking chair, an empty one reserved for
Mamm
beside him. Jesse had given the empty rocker and
Mamm
a quick glance before he began reading, but he'd said nothing.
Mamm
would sit there in time, but tonight she was taking time to bond with Joel.

Mamm
was changing so fast it was breathtaking, Katie thought. All those dark years while she was growing up
Mamm
had often been moody and troubled. But now a look of happiness had begun to find a home on her face. The change made
Mamm
look much younger. Even her step, since she'd said
yah
to Jesse's marriage request had grown ever lighter. And now
Mamm
had stood up to Mabel out in the barn tonight. This was a new thing for her entirely. In the weeks before the wedding,
Mamm
used to shrivel up under the sharp words Mabel had spoken.

Leroy and Willis sat on chairs across the room near the old stove. Mabel had ensconced herself on a chair close to the living room doorway. There had been an empty place on both couches—one between Katie and Carolyn and the other beside Joel. Mabel though, had taken one look and retreated to the kitchen for another chair. She now sat there as if she planned a quick dash back to the kitchen when her
daett
finished reading. No doubt she wanted to stay in charge even with
Mamm
in the house.

Mamm
stroked Joel's hair, and he smiled up at her. She smiled back, turning her head to listen as Jesse read.

“Thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.”

Katie also listened to the familiar story in Genesis of how Abraham sent his servant back to the old country to find a wife for his son Isaac. There the servant had put out a test before the Lord, asking that a suitable young girl would arrive and offer
water not just for him but for his camels also. That was quite a task, and not one for the faint of heart, Katie thought. Especially since the water had to be drawn by hand from a deep well. Katie realized she might not have passed the test as Rebecca had. She would have offered water to the man, but to give it to the camels too? That was another matter. But then Katie wasn't Rebecca either. And she wasn't going to be asked to wed Abraham's son, a mighty prince of Israel. Ben Stoll would be a
gut
enough husband for her.

Katie stole a quick glance at Mabel. If Mabel knew what she was thinking, there would be no end of scorn from her. But the girl was watching the kitchen doorway, as if she expected her
daett
to finish at any moment. And sure enough, Jesse closed the Bible.

“We can finish the story tomorrow night,” he said. “I know everyone is tired after our first day together as a family. I want us all to get a good night's sleep. We have lots of work to do tomorrow.”

“
Yah
,”
Mamm
agreed, rising. “And there are still the dishes to be done.”

“They can wait,” Jesse said. “It's important that we talk and pray with each other a little before we're totally exhausted from the day.”

“Oh…”
Mamm
sat on the couch again.

Mabel's smile was smug again, and Katie looked away. She had to find more love in her heart for this girl. It wasn't right the way she was feeling.
Nee
, it wasn't right regardless how Mabel was acting.

“I hope all of you are treating Emma like the
wunderbah
woman she is,” Jesse said.

Mamm
flushed, and streaks of red ran up her neck. She looked at the floor.

Jesse smiled, seeming to enjoy her reaction. “Not too many women would be willing to leave their comfortable life with their only daughter and take on a family of five children, along with a grumpy husband.”

“That's not true!”
Mamm
said with a chuckle.

Jesse continued. “I see Joel has taken right to Emma like I knew he would. Emma is already more of a blessing to our home than I had dared hope she would be.
Da Hah
has truly given us a great gift. Just as He led the servant of Abraham to find Rebecca for Isaac, so
Da Hah
has given us Emma.”

Mamm
's face was bright-red now, but Jesse was no longer looking at her. Mabel had her gaze turned to the floor and her face was expressionless. No doubt she was thinking of teacher Ruth, and wishing she was sitting on the couch beside Joel instead of
Mamm
.

Ruth Troyer might be able to run a household better than
Mamm
and even bake better pecan pies—like the ones Ruth brought over in her attempt to capture Jesse's heart—but
Mamm
had succeeded in capturing his attention where Ruth had failed. Not that
Mamm
had tried. She was just better at such things than even she knew.

Jesse interrupted Katie's thoughts. “So let's pray and thank
Da Hah
for our many blessings tonight. And then you women can get back to your dishes.” Jesse got down on his knees.

They all followed. Katie buried her face in her hands. Jesse hadn't mentioned a word about the trouble they were having with Mabel, but perhaps he didn't know.
He does care about me
, Katie reminded herself.
He has welcomed me into his home
. He'd made his feelings known before the wedding, and she would always be able to depend on him. Jesse thought
Mamm
the best thing to happen in his life in a long time. He'd said some man would someday think the same thing about her. Ben Stoll, perhaps, Katie added. If he ever really noticed her.

“Great Father in heaven,” Jesse was praying, his voice muffled by the rocking chair, “You who made the worlds and all that is in them, hear tonight the feeble sound of our voices. We lift them
in thanksgiving to You. How great are the things You have given us. First of all, we give thanks for the gift of Your Son, Jesus Christ, who came down to this earth to walk among us. Your care and compassion for our lost souls is more than we can ever understand. You have shared with us love from Your own heart, and then from each of our hearts to each other. This is a great gift that we can never give sufficient thanks for. You have also given me Emma for my
frau
and to be a
mamm
for my children. And You have given me a love to fill the emptiness of my heart. Truly You have said that it is not
gut
that man should be alone.”