Just Fall (The Fall Series) (4 page)

I’ll
never forget the summer I turned fifteen. For a week straight Parker dared me
to take my dad’s convertible for a drive. He called me a “goody two-shoes”, “perfect
princess”-anything he could think of to drive me over the edge. Finally, one
night, unbeknownst to my dad of course, I decided to prove once and for all
that I wasn’t the “perfect daddy’s girl”.

With
the stars twinkling above, the radio cranked up, and Parker looking at me like
John Travolta looked at Olivia Newton John post bad girl transformation, I was
having the time of my life! Right up until the moment those flashing lights
appeared in the rear view mirror.

I
should have seen it coming, but in the heat of the moment it never occurred to
me that my dad might think his car was stolen and call the cops. He never
suspected that his “Golden Girl” would have driven off into the night with
Danny fucking Zuko. I’ll never forget the look on his face when I got out of
the back of that cop car.

Hindsight.

Hadn’t
I learned my lesson by now? Any other time I would say definitely, and
unequivocally “yes”! But the dynamic between Parker and me was toxic,
addicting—dangerous even.

Trudging
straight up to the two of them I let loose.
Let the games begin!

“There
you are, honey! I’ve been looking all over for you,” I feigned shock. “Who the
hell is this?”

“Who
the hell are you?” Blondie demanded as she stood between us with her hands on
her hips.

“I’m
his wife. His pregnant wife. Pregnant with twins!”
Okay, maybe that was too
much, but I couldn’t resist.
“He probably never mentioned me. Did he? Did
you?” I looked at Parker expectantly. My daddy was right about you! You’re
nothing but a lying cheat!”

And
we’re off!

“Lo,
calm down! Are you off your meds again?” playing along, Parker acted genuinely
concerned. “Are you?” he demanded. “Oh, no don’t tell me you’re on the bottle
again? What about the baby?”

“Correction,
babi-e-s you asshole!”

“Whoa,
whoa, both of you calm down. A pregnant lady shouldn’t have to deal with an
asshole like you!” Before I realized what was about to happen Blondie turned to
Parker and slapped him hard across the face.

“That
was for my cousin in Vegas AND your wife!” she yelled before stomping off
toward the parking lot.

Nothing
but the sound of our breathing filled the space between us. Nothing but awkward
silence, and I didn’t fully realize it yet, but it had already started. Parker
and Lo. Just like old times.

“What
the hell is wrong with you? And to think I actually looked forward to seeing
you again. I thought maybe you’d grown up after all this time, but you’re still
the same psycho uptight bitch you always were! Let’s just say I’m sorely
disappointed but not surprised!”

I
was gloating momentarily. Blondie was gone, and Parker got a good slap in the
face by someone other than me.
Round Two goes to Lauren.

“Save
the bullshit Parker! Why
did
you come here anyway? We’re not even
friends. I haven’t seen or heard from you in seven years, and if I remember
correctly YOU were the one who made my life hell! What’s wrong? You got bored
with the ladies throwing themselves at you in Vegas and decided to come try
your luck with me again? Well, I’m not a little girl anymore, but I can clearly
see you’re the same little boy.”

His
eyes grew wide, and then something else. He looked hurt. “I made your life
hell? Hah! If it wasn’t for me you would’ve had a stick shoved permanently up
your ass -kind of the way you do right now. The only thing I ever did was get
you to live a little, Lo! But it looks like that stick has become a permanent
fixture!”

With
that I smacked him soundly in the same place Blondie did. His cheek instantly
turned a brighter shade of red. We stared at each other for a few seconds, listening
to the sound of crickets in the flower garden and the buzz of the parking lot
lights. The tension between us had dialed up ten notches, and adrenaline rushed
through me as I realized how fast things had escalated. I waited nervously for
his reaction.

Suddenly
Parker grabbed me by the wrists and pulled my body roughly against his. The
electricity crackled between us and heat seared my skin everywhere his body
touched mine. Startled, I looked up trying to read his face.

“I
came here to do this,” he whispered, and before I could protest, his
seductively warm mouth closed over mine.

I
tried to pull away from him as pent up anger rolled through me like a
thunderstorm. Inside I was screaming, letting him know how much he hurt me when
he went away. I wanted to hate him! I wanted to hate the taste of him the smell
of him so close, but all I could think of was
more.
I wanted more. The
spicy smell of his aftershave mixed with his own unique male scent (pheromones
maybe?) were more than I could take. Every part of me responded to him, melted
into him. His hands left my wrists and lifted my hair, twisting his fingers
through it as his lips and tongue ravaged mine. Liquid heat pooled between my
legs, and suddenly I was hyperaware of every detail about him. I was breathing
him, inhaling him, tasting him and letting him take what he wanted from me.

For
a moment I felt like nothing else in the world mattered. Crushed against his
chest, my breasts ached for release. My nipples strained through the thin
material of my dress as I imagined him giving them the same skillful attention
he was giving my mouth. My hands went to his chest, tugging, pulling at the
buttons, tracing a trail over the hard muscles of his stomach. He grabbed my
ass and pressed himself roughly into my thigh, and I could feel he wanted me
just as much.

When
my hands explored lower, lightly skimming the defined v that disappeared just
below his jeans, he leaned his head back against the wall. I looked up at him.
His white hot expression, his eyelids heavy, the way his lips were slightly
parted glistening with saliva from our kiss, urged me to tug his belt open
roughly. His chest heaved, and his green eyes filled with lust, awaited my next
move. In that brief moment I realized how much taller he was than me, broader,
stronger. He wasn’t the same boy I remembered seven years ago. He was a man. A
fucking beautiful passionate man.

The
front doors burst open with a flood of laughter sending me spiraling back to
earth. Ripping myself from the lewd embrace, I stepped back to adjust my dress
and smooth my hair before daring to look.

That’s
when reality hit me. Here I was a business woman, an engaged business woman at
that, standing in front of my inn one button away from fucking a man I haven’t
laid eyes on in seven years. Five minutes alone with him, and I’d forgotten how
bad he hurt me. I’d come completely and entirely undone.

And
what about Mary and Tom? They had to be wondering where we went.
What the
hell is wrong with you, Lo?

I
knew I couldn’t face the two of them. Not like this. They were like parents to
me. And then there was Jake. Anxiety flooded through me, and I went into panic
mode.

Parker
started to speak, and I stopped him as soon as he said my name.

“No,
Parker!
This-
whatever
this
is,” I waved my hands wildly in the
air, “It can never happen again! You haven’t even been here one day and I’m
acting like a crazy school girl! Not only that, but guess what? I’m engaged,
Parker. Yes, that’s right. I’m going to marry an incredible man who would never
leave me. Who would never drag me out in front of my place of business and
practically molest me on the sidewalk!”

I
gestured toward the onlookers who are now walking toward their cars still
gawking at the Parker and Lauren Show.

His
face hardened with every word as if I were landing punches. Direct hits. But
his eyes stayed fixed on mine.

“I
guess some things never change, do they?”

I
slammed my way through the entrance and headed straight to the elevator feeling
the weight of his stare on my back until the doors closed behind me.

FRIENDLY ADVICE

I
wanted to run. I wanted to put as much distance between me and Parker as I
possibly could. For a moment I thought about driving the three hours to where
Jake was working for the weekend. If I could just be with him now everything
would be okay. I needed him. I needed to tell him what happened.

No,
that’s the worst thing you could do, Lo! Stay calm and think.

An
altercation between Jake and Parker could jeopardize my relationship with The
Blackwell Family, and that was a price I wasn’t willing to pay. Besides, in the
state I’m in I shouldn’t be driving anywhere. I only drank one martini, but I
was a mess, a total basket case.

Why
did he come here? What was he doing to me? 

The
timing couldn’t be worse! I had all I could handle right now with The Grand
struggling, Evelyn hounding me and Jake pressuring me to set a wedding date.
Parker Blackwell and his antics were the last thing I needed at a time like
this. If I could avoid him for the rest of the weekend, by checkout time on
Sunday he’d be long gone before Jake came home and hopefully before I turned
into a stark raving maniac.

As
soon as the thought crossed my mind I knew it would be impossible, and the real
reason was hard to admit. I was inexplicably and undeniably drawn to him. I
always have been. The dynamic between us was like a tiny spark that didn’t take
much to spread into a raging inferno. It was always there, but all those years
ago we were too young, too inexperienced to recognize it. He was frustrating,
infuriating, but he ignited something inside me that no other man had ever
reached. It was deep and sexual, and it was frightening.

Desperate,
I dug through my purse for my cell and called Nina again. This time I was
instantly relieved when I heard her voice on the other end.

“Nina,
where the hell have you been? I hope you can talk. Oh my God! I don’t even know
where to start!”

“Okay,
I’m here. I’m sorry. I was at Leslie’s. She had another episode, because Trina
Lavonne went missing. You know how she gets when something happens to her cats.
Anyway, what the hell is going on? Are you okay?”

I
knew exactly what she meant. Leslie was Nina’s mom, and she was a crazy cat
lady, and a childlike hippy who never quite grew up. I often wondered if she
took one too many psychedelic trips in the 70’s. Who knows? Poor Nina had all
she could do to look after her. Still, I envied their relationship sometimes.
Better to have a mother who was bat shit crazy than no mother at all.

I
knew everything about Nina, and she knew everything about me. We grew up
together in this small community since grade school. Oddly enough, she hated
the beach, well really she “revered the power of the sun”, and she would go on
and on ranting about skin cancer and the chemicals in sunscreen, but that never
stopped me from dragging her along on all my adventures. She would drench us
both in organic sunscreen and remind me every hour to reapply. She was quite a
mother hen and a spiritual guru thanks to her mother, always talking about
auras and chakras and things I would know nothing about if it wasn’t for her. I
loved her so much. Just hearing her voice soothed me.

“Nina,
this is bad! This is so fucking bad. I need your help, so listen close. You’re
never going to believe who’s staying at The Grand.”

“Who?
You’re scaring me now.”

“Parker
Blackwell…” Nina was silent. She knew the history. She knew how I felt about
him and how much I hated him when he left. “Please say something!”

The
sound of her dragging in a deep breath filled the receiver, and I knew she was
going to get all spiritual on me, but I didn’t mind. Right now I needed
something, anything to help me make sense of it all.

I
continued. “He’s here, and he’s fucking gorgeous, Nina. I mean he’s tall and
built and his eyes…he mesmerized me with his eyes, his smell. I don’t know what
to do! I want to hate him, but…”

“Oh,
Lo, this
is
bad! This is so fucking bad! Where’s Jake? Is he here?”

“No,
he’s working out of town.”

“Fuck!
I have a bad feeling about this. Please listen to me. You have to stay away
from Parker. Do you hear what I’m saying? Jake is the one for you, Lo. Your
auras are perfectly matched. Leslie is never wrong about these things. I’m
telling you.”

Her
ominous tone concerned me. I mean, I fully expected her to be pro-Jake, but the
fact that she was adamantly anti-Parker surprised me. “Nina, I know! I agree
with everything you’re saying, but I don’t know how to explain this. It’s
different. This has never happened to me before. Not even with Jake. There’s
something about him, Nina, some connection to my past that’s drawing me to him.”

“Okay,
wait a minute. Remember your last session with Leslie? Your heart chakra was
out of whack, right?”

“Nina,
please. How can that have anything to do with this? I think I should have
Leslie read my cards. Maybe she can see something that we can’t.” Although I
didn’t get too caught up in Leslie’s physic abilities, she was right about my
mom’s diagnosis, and that’s something I’ll never forget. I still had her read
my cards once in a while, especially when I had more questions than answers.

Nina’s
voice became stern. “Okay, a reading couldn’t hurt, but you’re not listening to
me. When your heart chakra is unbalanced, more energy is directed to your head
chakra where your memories live. Lo, you’re not feeling clear emotions right
now.”

She
obviously had no idea what I was feeling. Maybe I didn’t elaborate enough. “Oh,
I’m feeling, Nina. I’m feeling every cell in my body being pulled toward him
like a magnet, every nerve ending standing at attention, every thought being
erased but him. Is that enough detail for you? Do you get it now?”

“Yes,
I get it! You want to throw caution to the wind and fuck him like an animal,
right? But I’m talking about the
why
here, Lo. These feelings are coming
from your mind, your memories, not your heart.”

“Yeah,
I guess. But I just don’t know where this came from or what to do with it all.
I’ve never felt this way before,” I quietly confessed. “It scares me, Nina.”

“Just
stay away from him, Lo. You have to.”

“That’s
impossible. He’s going to be here until Sunday, and Tom and Mary are here,
too.”

Her
drawn out sigh was worth a thousand words.

“Okay,
how about this? I’ll be careful,” I promised, “I’ll try not to be alone with
him.”

“I
hope you know what you’re doing, Lo. I have a bad feeling about this. Please,
please be careful.”

Nina
loved me, and I couldn’t ask for a more caring friend, but I couldn’t help but
laugh at her deadly serious demeanor. “I will. Now I should get some sleep to
help balance my whacked out chakras.”

“Good
idea. Call me tomorrow? I’ll be worried.”

“Sure
thing.”

Still
feeling restless after all the talk about chakras and auras, I rolled over, grabbed
my laptop and Googled “pheromones”. It could be pheromones, right? I mean I’d
never felt the uncontrollable urge to jump on a man and wrap my legs around him
before in my life. Yet every time I looked at Parker I could barely think of
anything else. All he had to do was breathe the same air as me and I felt my
self-control crumbling, and the things he could do with just a touch were
obscene. I screamed into my pillow to release the frustration.
What is
happening to me?

Okay,
where was I? Pheromones. Right. Well, according to some websites there is much
controversy over whether or not they actually exist.
Huh! Someone should
have been conducting a study in my parking lot a few minutes ago!

After
a little more searching my thoughts were confirmed when I found an interesting
tidbit in The Smithsonian Magazine. Apparently, if a wild female boar gets a
whiff of the pheromones emitted by her male counterpart “she’ll present her
rear to the male”.
Ugh! Can he really reduce me to such a primal level?

I
wondered where he was right now. The Parker Blackwell I used to know was far
too used to getting his way.  He must be furious, or maybe trying to find
Blondie’s number. The thought made my stomach turn.

With
visuals of wild boars, primal instincts, chakras and auras swirling in my
brain, I undressed and flung myself across the bed wishing I could rewind the
day and somehow avoid the fateful meeting that had my insides tangled up in
knots.

While
I was deep in thought I must have missed the footsteps on the stairs, but the
knock on my door sent my heart pounding through my chest. I grabbed my dress
from the floor and held it against me as I peeked through the peep hole.
Shit!
It’s Mary and Tom!

“Lauren,
honey, are you there?” Her voice was full of motherly concern.

Still
clutching my dress with one hand I opened the door just a crack and felt my
face flush as I saw the looks on their faces.

“I’m
so sorry Mary. I wasn’t feeling well, and I had to turn in early. I asked
Parker to let you know. Have you seen him?”

Mary
and Tom exchanged glances. Then Mary gave a knowing smile.

I
knew it! He must be with Blondie, or some other warm body that fell for his
alarming good looks and boyish charm. Why does that sound like sarcastic
regret, Lo?

“It’s
all right, dear. We just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Mary nudged Tom.

He
sputtered a bit then cleared his throat, cupping his hand in front of his
mouth. They looked stunned, but strangely amused.

“Yes,
we hope you’re feeling better tomorrow. Mary planned a wine tasting tour for
us. Go ahead and get some rest. We’ll meet you in the lobby at noon.”

Their
reaction puzzled me. Then suddenly the fear of spending another day with Parker
sent a million crazy excuses spinning wildly through my brain. Before I could
choose the perfect one, Mary tugged Tom’s hand, and the two of them walked away
arm in arm.

Fuck!
Could this get any better?
The truth is I didn’t have the
heart to lie to them, and I didn’t really want to. But the thought of another
round with Parker was, was… 

I
slid the covers over me and tried to block the thought of this night and that
man out of my mind. I needed to sleep on it. Things would seem clearer in the morning.

Just
as I was drifting off Jake’s ringtone came blaring from my cell phone.

“Hey,
were you sleeping?”

The
sound of his voice made me smile. “Not yet. How’s the project going?”

“It’s
going.”

 I
could tell from his tone it wasn’t going well. “That doesn’t sound too
convincing. What’s going on?”

Jake
is a commercial project manager in charge of several trades. He’s under
constant pressure to meet next to impossible deadlines, but he’s well equipped
to handle it. He’s a technical guy. Straight-laced, organized and dependable. In
many ways he’s the complete opposite of Parker Blackwell.

A
twinge of guilt washed over me as I listened to Jake explain why he wouldn’t be
able to make it home until late Sunday night. I wanted to tell him what
happened, but I knew it wasn’t the right time.

“So,
I guess I’ll see you Sunday night then?” He finished.

My
mind had wandered from our conversation. Suddenly thoughts of Jake, the Jake I
fell in love with flashed through my mind.
What happened to us?

“Ah,
yeah. My place?”

“Absolutely.
See you then.” With those final words he hung up the phone.

I
knew he wasn’t one for pleasantries. He would often hang up without saying
goodbye or I love you, but this time the disappointment gnawed at me a little
more than usual. I needed him, and his abrupt departure left me feeling even
more alone.