Judith Wants To Be Your Friend (23 page)

‘Oh Judith,’ she says, ‘this is Danny, you know, the one with the nice warm car.’

‘She only wants me for my car,’ Danny smiles, ‘but that’s OK. Soon she’ll love me for who I am as well.’

This takes me somewhat by surprise.

‘Don’t take any notice, Judith, he’s just messing about.’

‘Am I? I don’t think so. Anyway, I’m off. I’m going to take my mum and dad to see the house I looked at yesterday.’

‘Have fun,’ she says as he leaves.

She gets me a coffee and comes to sit down for a few minutes. I know where I have seen him before; he’s the man in the photo in the drawer.

‘So, how do you know Danny?’ I ask.

‘I’ve known him for ages, right back to school days. He was my best friend’s older brother. I don’t think he ever saw me then, though. I was just another one of his sister’s nuisance friends.’

A group of four girls come in and she gets up to serve them. She’s working on her own this evening so there’s no chance of a proper chat. I drink my coffee and get ready to leave.

‘Are you still getting Thursdays off? With all the bother at work, I mean?’ she asks. ‘Ricky wants to know if we’ll see you.’

‘Yes, I am. I took a couple of half days last week but am planning to have tomorrow and Thursday off this week.’

‘See you at the usual time then? In the park?’

‘Yes, absolutely, see you then. And tell Ricky that I have lots of bread that I’ve been saving especially for the ducks.’

Wednesday 10
th
February 2010

I slept and slept earlier today. It’s not working long hours that’s making me tired, it’s the fact that I can’t see how to get Maureen out of this. I know I wanted to wipe the smugness off her face, but a criminal record is a bit too much. I have thought about it sober, and last night I thought about it with the aid of a bottle of medium-priced Rioja. That didn’t help either. It contributed to the long sleep though. I’ve arranged to meet Ken later. There’s a film he wants to see so that’s good. I can apply my mind to the problem without having to talk.

We go to Le Gall for a drink before the cinema. I think a hair of the dog will be just what I need to perk me up a bit but it doesn’t work and I feel sleepy. As the film goes on I feel my eyes getting heavy and end up almost nodding off with my head on Ken’s shoulder.

‘Did you enjoy that, sleepy-head?’ he asks as the credits roll.

‘Yes,’ I lie.

‘You didn’t see any of it.’

‘I know. Sorry. Not in the mood.’

‘Shall we go for something to eat?’

‘No, I think I’ll just go home.’

Ken looks disappointed. Really, I can’t be doing with this. I haven’t decided what to do about Maureen and he wants to go out and be jolly, then he’ll want to come back to mine. I need time to think. I need space to think it through.

‘Is everything OK?’ God, now he’s doing the concerned look with his big, soft brown eyes.

‘I’m fine, Ken, really. It’s just that this business with Maureen…’

‘I know you’ve been working a lot of extra hours. You must be shattered.’

‘I’m not tired. It’s just that it’s affected everyone in the cash office. It’s such a strain working in that atmosphere. There must be a way of helping Maureen but I can’t seem to see what it is.’

‘Why is that so important to you? She was accusing you of setting her up when it was her all the time. Can’t you just ride it out and when it’s done, it’s done and you can all move on.’

‘We’ve been through this, Ken. I can’t explain but it seems out of character and I think there must be an explanation.’

Actually I think he is probably right, and unless I confess to everything, I might as well just forget it and move on.

‘I don’t see why you have to shut me out of your life because of it.’

I know I have been shutting him out, of course, but this is more important and urgent. I have to sort it out and I have to do it on my own.

‘I’m not shutting you out,’ I say feebly. ‘I’m really not. Well just for now, maybe. Leave it, please leave it.’

‘OK, but I’ll walk you home.’

‘No, don’t. Just to the bus stop will be fine.’

He opens his mouth to say something else and realises it’s pointless. He nods and we walk down to West Tower Street. He can get his bus from there as well. I don’t know why he doesn’t drive into town in the evenings as he hardly ever drinks alcohol. Maybe he’s doing his bit for the planet. I’ll ask him one day when I feel like conversation.

Thursday 11
th
February 2010

I meet Joanna and Ricky in the park as usual. I wasn’t lying when I said I had lots of bread. My shopping and eating habits have gone up the creek since the Maureen stuff and I seem to have bits of bread and other food half-eaten all around the kitchen. Ricky is delighted and so are the ducks. It’s lucky they’re not fussy as most of it leaves a lot to be desired. Anyway, it’s so cold that even Ricky is ready to retire to a warm cafe for some lunch as soon as his job is done.

We’re munching away happily when Ricky looks at me.

‘Danny takes us to the seaside,’ he said.

‘Yes, I know, in his nice warm car,’ I reply.

‘He’s taking us there again soon.’

‘Lovely.’

‘Do you know Danny, Judith?’

‘I have met him but I don’t know him,’ I say, trying to move the conversation to another tack, i.e. getting him muddled up in words.

‘You must know him then.’

‘Not really. I know what he looks like. But I still don’t know him.’

Ricky looks at his mum to gauge whether I am being serious or joking with him. She doesn’t give anything away.

‘Why don’t you?’ he gives up.

‘I saw him talking to your mum but I didn’t talk to him so I don’t know anything about him or what he likes doing or where he comes from or what he does for a job,’ I pause for an exaggerated breath, ‘or where he lives or what music he likes or what he watches on telly or what he like to eat or…’

Ricky gives me the sideways look and bursts into giggles.

‘Shall I stop now? I could go on all afternoon telling you what I don’t know about him.’

‘Tell me what you do know.’

‘I know what he looks like and that he took you to the seaside and that he gave your mum a lift home from Spanish on Monday.’

‘Is that all? I know more than that.’

‘I expect you do. Oh yes, I know he was taking his mum and dad to look at a house.’

‘Is he going to buy it?’

‘I have no idea. I don’t know him,’ I say expecting the conversation to go round again.

‘Is he, Mam?’

‘Yes, I think so. He said he liked it.’

‘Good! That means we can see him more. I like him.’

She tousles her son’s head and touches noses with him.

‘That is a very good thing, Ricky, a very good thing.’

I look at her enquiringly, not sure that I want to know. Well I want to know but I don’t want anyone to spoil our friendship and our routines.

‘OK, OK, I like him too,’ she says with a smile, then to me, ‘I told you that I knew him at school? Well when I came back from uni after I was ill I met up with him again. He’d been away to uni too and was deciding what to do work-wise. He got a job in Manchester and used to stay down there during the week then come back at weekends. It suited us both really well. Ricky was smaller then, of course, but my mam was happy to babysit at weekends.’

‘So what happened?’ I prompt as she stops talking.

‘He was made redundant from the job; youngest member of staff, least experience, cheapest to let go. He came back up here last summer while he looked for something else and we were practically living together. Then he heard from a firm in London that he had applied to ages before and they wanted him to go and work down there. He decided to go. I decided to stay.’

I suspect there is more to it than the plain facts but don’t ask any more. I don’t want to know anyway. I don’t want him back in her life. We do stuff. I get on with her son. I haven’t seen her mother since that afternoon last month but we seemed to be overcoming our differences.

‘What does Gaynor think?’

‘He’s the one I told you about on Christmas Day, you know, the person who got close to the family then disappeared. She is a bit wary, to say the least.

‘Mmmm.’ Oh well, it might just shift her attention away from me if she has someone else to worry about.

‘Is Danny staying here now, Mam?’

‘Yes, he is. He’s got a job in Carlisle so he’s back.’

‘Yeah, yeah, yeah,’ Ricky bounces on the chair nearly tipping it over backwards.

‘Oh no, the food has kicked in and given the little man a burst of energy. Time we went before he wrecks the place.’

We gather up our coats, scarves, hats, gloves and bags and make for the chilly air outside.

‘Is Danny driving us home?’ Ricky asks hopefully.

‘No, sweetheart, he’s at work. We’ll catch the bus.’ She looks at her watch. ‘Actually we’ll go to meet Nana from work and get the bus back with her.’

‘Yeah, yeah, yeah,’ Ricky bounces on the hard ground.

It’s time for me to make a swift exit. We exchange farewells and I say that I’ll pop into the cafe next week.

‘It’s half-term – again. Ricky hasn’t got any school at all so I’ve got some time off and hopefully Danny is going to take us somewhere in his car.’

‘Yeah, yeah, yeah.’

‘I’ll still pop in for a latte,’ I say with forced jolliness, ‘even without you the coffee is good.’

I walk slowly down through the underpass and up the hill, stopping to look at the river as I cross the bridge. I haven’t seen the man with the dog lately; maybe something has befallen it. I don’t care. I have enough to worry about without a three-legged dog’s health. My phone rings. It’s Ken. I don’t answer it. It rings to alert me to a voice message and I switch it off. I simply cannot think. I need time to think. Tomorrow morning I’ll be back in the thick of it all again. It isn’t my conscience that’s bothering me, I’ve identified that, it’s the sense of injustice. It also isn’t fair that Joanna’s old flame is back to mess everything up.

Tuesday 16
th
February 2010

This week is dragging already despite the store being busy because of half-term. No Spanish last night, no Joanna and Ricky on Thursday and I’ve told Ken I don’t want to go out tomorrow. Not a single (official) word has been said about Maureen other than to thank us all for doing extra hours and carrying on as normal. It doesn’t feel like normal. The mood in here still hasn’t lifted and everyone gives us strange looks when we go for our breaks. It’s as though Maureen’s under suspicion but nobody trusts any of us either. I go for a walk at lunch time, down to PC World. It’s time I had a laptop and had some contact with the rest of the planet if only from the privacy of my half-house. I don’t want to go to the canteen, not for the accusing looks or to bump into Ken.

He catches me as I’m leaving at three.

‘Judith, hang on a minute.’

‘Ken, please leave me alone for a while.’

‘Why?’

‘I’ve told you.’

‘You haven’t really. Is it really about Maureen?’

‘Yes, totally. Please believe me. Anyway, I’m going now.’

‘Have you changed your mind about tomorrow night?’

‘No Ken, I haven’t,’ I say as I turn and walk away.

I pick up my new netbook on the way and spend the evening happily installing broadband and surfing the internet. I say happily, but that’s not really true.

Friday 19
th
February 2010

It seems that I have had a shot of defiance. I decide that I will go for lunch in the canteen. Sometimes I go to the customer restaurant but the canteen is subsidised and I don’t really see why I should pay more for virtually the same thing. I stop next to the store entrance for a look at the newspaper headlines before going up to the staff area then find myself yanked back by my hair.

‘Ow!’ I yell as I lose my footing and fall backwards.

‘You bitch!’ Maureen’s voice screams out, ‘You scheming bitch! Are you happy now? Are you?’

I cover my face as I see her foot coming towards it at speed and roll out of the way. She doesn’t get close as the security man comes over and pulls her off. The emergency tannoy announcement goes out and suddenly the managers who are on the shop floor appear. Ken is one of them, of course. He helps me up then leads me through to the security office and gets me a glass of water. He puts it down then puts his arms around me and gives me a hug.

‘What did you say to deserve that?’ he asks.

I give him a weak smile. You’ve got to hand it to the man for trying. ‘Not a single word. She came up behind me and grabbed my hair.’ I rub my head and check that a clump hasn’t disappeared. It feels as though it has.

‘Mary Morris captured her and marched her off with the security man. I dare say she’ll want your side of the story soon.’

‘Yes, of course.’

‘She might want to know if you want to press charges.’

‘God, no, of course not. The poor woman is obviously on the edge.’

As Ken starts to tell me how nice I am, I feel an overwhelming weariness and almost feel like crying. I rest my head on his shoulder for a few moments, which I instantly regret doing as he will take it the wrong way and think we are back to normal. He gives me another hug.

‘Come on. Let’s go and get you something to eat.’

Someone in the canteen says that Mary Morris made Maureen ring her doctor and arrange to go and see him this afternoon and she sent the security guard to drive her there, presumably to make sure she went. I see her peering in through the door and when she sees us, she comes over.

‘Judith, would you mind coming to see me when you’ve finished your lunch?’

‘I’ll come now,’ I say pushing my half-eaten sandwich away. ‘I’m not really hungry.’

‘OK,’ she says, picking up my coffee, ‘but you can bring this.’ She marches off with it and I follow obediently.

As Ken predicted, she asks me what happened and makes a note of what I say. She asks me if I want to press charges. She says it will be quite straightforward as a member of the public called the police while I was being attacked.