Judith Wants To Be Your Friend (19 page)

‘I know but there’s no roundabout way of asking you.’

‘God, Ken, what on earth is it?’

‘Well…’

‘You’re making me worried now. If you don’t say, whatever it is, the answer is no.’

‘You might say no anyway.’

‘Any more of this and the answer
is
no.’

‘OK. Will you come and have dinner with my family one evening. At home, I mean. They want to meet you.’

I am taken completely by surprise. I had definitely not anticipated that and definitely do not have a suitable answer prepared. ‘Yes, of course, I’d love to,’ I hear myself say. I am clearly going mad, but after the day I’ve had I suppose it’s not surprising.

‘That’s brilliant. I’m so pleased. My mum and dad are really OK, you know. My sister will want to be there as well, probably with her boyfriend.’ He is positively glowing and I realise that there is no way out of this one. All I can do is avoid agreeing to an actual date.

‘How old is your sister?’

‘She’s twenty-three; a bit of an after-thought I reckon, or an accident. She’s OK. I didn’t like her much when I was a teenager and had to look after a toddler but since she went away to uni and came back we’ve got on really well.’

‘What does she do?’

‘She studied accountancy and has got a job with a local firm. She’s doing well so far. Her boyfriend works there as well.’

‘Nice.’ My God, that’s all I need, to mix with young accountants. Still, it’ll only be for a couple of hours.

‘She’s the brainy one in the family. I’m a bit of a disappointment career-wise I think.’

‘What ambitions have you got, Ken?’

‘Nothing earth-shattering. Cost-Save ask me to apply for more senior jobs from time to time, but they involve moving away.’

‘What’s wrong with that? You could move away for a while, get some experience then move back.’

‘I could do. I thought seriously about it every time the opportunity came along. I know people at the stores in the North East, and in Lancaster. I probably would have done it if I’d had anyone to move away with me. Just didn’t fancy it on my own.’

I sense the conversation is moving in a direction I don’t want to follow, but wine has been consumed and Ken is in full flow. I decide to let him keep talking; it gives me thinking time.

‘I had a girlfriend for a lot of years. She wouldn’t move with me. She’s Carlisle born and bred and had no intention of going anywhere. She’s married with kids now. I stayed because of her then when she fell for someone else, I moved back with my parents temporarily and never moved out again; frightened of commitment I suppose.’

‘I understand that,’ I say, fully understanding that.

‘I know you do Judith. That’s why I would never put any pressure on you to live with me or even go on holiday.’

‘Thank you, Ken,’ I say and really mean it. Suddenly a few hours at chez Wilson doesn’t seem so onerous. I invite him back to stay the night.

Thursday 14
th
January 2010

Ken brings me a cup of tea before he leaves. It’s not too early as he is working late this evening and doesn’t need to go in until midday. Before going home to change he sits on the bed and says how about next Wednesday evening to meet his family. I can’t think of a reason to say no. My phone beeps with a message. It’s a cheap pay-as-you-go thing that only three people have the number of. It isn’t Ken; I doubt that it is Gaynor so it must be Joanna. I read her message.

‘Hi J. Can’t make the park today. Unexpected other plans. J.’

With a rush I remember the events of yesterday afternoon and guess that Gaynor has warned her off me.

‘Everything alright?’ Ken asks.

‘Yes. Change of plan for today. I think I’ll stay in bed and read.’

He passes my book over to me before kissing me on the head and getting ready to go. I think I can hear him humming to himself as he puts his coat on. For God’s sake, Ken, don’t fall in love with me. It really is not a great plan.

Saturday 16
th
January 2010

I’m working the late shift today. It’s still icy underfoot so I set off for work in good time then find I have arrived too early. I go into the ladies’ locker room to change my boots into comfortable shoes and to get the book I keep for occasions such as this. I plan to go and sit in the canteen for half an hour in peace. I am concealed from the door by a bank of lockers in the middle of the room, but I hear the door open. Two familiar voices are in the middle of a conversation.

‘I can’t believe what she said this morning, either. Fancy blaming Judith for her own silly mistakes.’ Sal’s voice.

‘I know. Well, if it is a silly mistake,’ Anita’s voice replies.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well the first mistake was just that. She’d dropped a note under her desk and not seen it. The last two were never found.’

‘Anita, it’s not like you to talk like that.’

I am in a quandary now. Do I reveal myself, albeit a bit late, or keep quiet and hope they never know I’m here? I hear the door open again and their voices disappear out into the corridor. Well, well, well! She’s openly blaming me now. That’s a turn up for the books. I didn’t think she was that bright. I wait for a couple of minutes to give them time to get away then go to the canteen for a coffee. When I go to start my shift I give Maureen my best smile and ask if there is anything in particular she would like me to do.

‘Just count money, please,’ she says, and doesn’t smile back.

Monday 18
th
January 2010

Maureen has been off today but I saw her come into the store at ten o’clock. She met the shop steward outside and they had a brief conversation before going to the offices upstairs. I wonder what that can be about. She won’t like it, of course, but they can’t prove anything against her because she hasn’t actually done anything wrong. I don’t know how long they keep her in the Personnel office.

At Spanish class tonight Joanna sits with me as usual but I think she is a bit quiet. I hesitate before mentioning it, but at coffee break I ask if she’s OK. She gives me a forced smile and says yes. I don’t want to enquire too closely in case Gaynor hasn’t said anything about last Wednesday. I will be very surprised if I find she hasn’t but you never know.

‘Did you have a nice day off last Thursday?’ I ask.

‘Yes. Actually it was Ricky that was asked out but I had to accompany him. We got taken to the coast. It was freezing but good fun. Nice to be picked up and dropped off in a warm car for a change.’

She obviously doesn’t want to discuss it anymore and looks relieved when Senor Rossi comes to bring us back into the classroom. We are doing transport tonight so she is able to tell us all in Spanish that she went to the coast with her son in a car. I say that I was taken home in a taxi last Wednesday after a meal in town. We are all making such good progress.

At nine o’clock she says goodbye (
ciao
actually) and disappears without any further conversation. I’ll just have to play a waiting game on this. I can do that. It’s my strong point.

Wednesday 20
th
January 2010

Dinner at Ken’s tonight. Why did I agree to this? I text him early in the day to say that I’m going to order a taxi to bring me home, and to ask him what time he thinks would be right. I hope he picks up on the fact that it is to bring
me
home, and not
us
.

He texts back, ‘I can drive u back.’

I text him back, ‘No, it’s fine. Just say what time.’

There is a delay before I get my answer. I expect he is consulting with family. I hope he isn’t going to be grumpy about it.

‘10. OK?’

‘OK. Thanks.’ I refuse to do text-y stuff like ‘thnx’ or ‘cul8er’. I know it’s quicker to do ‘u’ like Ken just did but really, for the sake of two more letters? I go out for a walk, just for something to do. No point in dwelling on the Ivy Shipton thing. I thought some people were giving me funny looks at work yesterday but that could be for several reasons. Maureen is obviously accusing me of setting her up, I am going out with one of the managers, I was nearly in a fight in town last week, I am allegedly a widow; they can take their pick if they want a gossip. Oh yes, it might be because I took a BMW for a test drive last Thursday afternoon. Someone’s bound to know about that, after all, there is nothing I can do in Carlisle that is private. I only did it for something to do. I was a bit worried once I was there that they might have my name on a database and refuse to let me take a car out. If I’d thought of that before I would have gone to the Mercedes garage instead. That’s a bit of a trek by public transport from here; maybe an Alpha which is next door to the BMW garage. It doesn’t matter now. I test drove a 1 Series; Sports version, of course. It was lovely. I will have money again one day; I have to.

At six-thirty Ken comes to pick me up. I considered having a drink for Dutch courage before he arrived but I have learned over the last few months that it is better to stay sober and keep my wits about me. I dare say there will be wine with dinner. I ate some toast so I don’t need to drink on an empty stomach, not that I’ll have much. I’ll make up for it when I get back here on my own. I haven’t arranged to meet Joanna tomorrow so I’ll probably stay in bed for half the day anyway.

Ken drives through town and out towards his parents’ house off London Road. He pulls into a lay-by and I think he is going to kiss me. It’s like being a teenager. He doesn’t, though.

‘Judith,’ he says, ‘I wanted to drive you home later to talk about Maureen, off the record, you know.’

‘About her accusing me of setting her up?’

‘How did you know that? Has she said something to you?’

‘No. I overheard Anita and Sal talking about it in the locker room. They didn’t know I was there, and I was too embarrassed and upset to tell them. I just heard a snatch of their conversation then I had to go and work with Maureen for an hour before her shift finished. I should have told you, Ken, but I was so upset. I didn’t know what to do.’

‘You should have told me, silly.’ He puts his arm around my shoulders.

‘I didn’t want to get her into any more trouble. I saw her outside with the shop steward on Monday and guessed what was going on.’

‘Yes, well, that was inevitable after the last episode. There was no excuse then; it wasn’t busy and there were no relief staff in. It was just the experienced people.’

‘What’s going to happen to her?’

‘Well, nothing’s been proved so nothing except that she’s being watched. She’s a bundle of nerves, and blaming you is just making everyone think worse of her.’

I do my best shocked look. ‘Everyone? Who’s everyone?’

‘Well, Mary M and the personnel manager.’

‘Oh my God!’

‘No, it’s OK. Nobody at all is blaming you. Nobody; well, except Maureen herself. I promise you that, Judith. I just thought you should know about it, and know that
nobody
believes anything she’s saying.’

‘Oh my God,’ I say again a bit more faintly. ‘Poor Maureen.’

‘Poor Maureen, nothing,’ Ken says firmly. ‘Come on, let’s go and meet my family. I could smell dinner cooking before I left.’

Friday 22
nd
January 2010

Today is the first day that Maureen and I have been alone together in the cash office for ages; certainly the first time since I heard about the outrageous allegations she has been making. I think it’s time for a little confrontation.

‘Maureen, can I have a word about something?’

‘I’d rather not right now. I’m busy.’

‘Well, we’re nearly done and Sal will be here soon. I wanted to ask you something in private.’

She avoids my eyes. ‘Well? What is it?’

‘I have heard a little rumour that you are blaming me for the missing money.’

‘Not exactly.’

‘I’ve told you before; if you have a problem with my work I want you to tell me. I like to do a good job. Actually I
need
to do a good job. I thought I was doing a good job in here.’

‘Your work is fine, Judith, you know that.’

‘What is it then? How is the missing money my fault if my work is OK?’

‘I don’t know,’ she says, and then suddenly finds some of her old fighting spirit, ‘but be sure that I
will
find out.’

Oh, this is more like it. I prefer a fight to the sulks. There is nothing more annoying than someone having a nervous breakdown before your eyes. Bring it on!

The buzzer cuts through our moment of silence and Maureen jumps a mile. My, my, we are on edge, aren’t we? I get up to let Sal in but Maureen gets to the door release button before me.

‘I’ll do it. You finish your work.’

Monday 25
th
January 2010

The store really is very quiet. Maureen and I work silently. She is still edgy but there have been no more mistakes, and she has taken my advice and started spot-checking everyone’s work. I ask whether I should do hers, just so that we have covered everything. The look she gives me!

‘No thanks, Judith,’ she says, ‘I have already asked Anita to check mine.’

‘She’s not in today,’ I pick away.

‘Oh, I forgot about that. Sal can do it then.’

‘That’s a good idea,’ I say, mainly because she dislikes it as much when I agree with her as when she perceives criticism. ‘Better really, because she hasn’t been here all morning.’ It’s all for nothing, of course. I’m not going to do anything else. I know when to stop, and I am if not happy, at least fairly content with my lot at the moment. Now that I have firmly shifted the power-base in here, we can all find our rightful places.