JPod (16 page)

I suppose I blacked out after that point. I remember the music dying down and opening my eyes to see everybody—servers and tech guy included—cramped with laughter. Needless to say, the technician filmed the whole thing.

Suddenly it was ten a.m. I went upstairs to my bedroom, which was being used as the party's coatroom. I considered sleeping on the floor again, above the raucous chattering below, then went back downstairs. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a box of Chinese donuts made with bean paste, then got into my car and drove directly to work. The only person in jPod was Kaitlin. She said, "Caught your performance. Kam did a live webcast."

"I—" I handed her the box of donuts. "I brought these for you. By the way, I really like you."

She looked at them as if I'd just handed her a dismantled carburetor.

"Please. Just eat them," I said. "I'm tired right now. I'm going to nap under my desk."

I was on the cusp of sleep when Kaitlin moved my chair away and bent down to speak to me. "You know, the whole Subway website thing was a hoax."

"What?"

"I just wanted to fuck with all of you. I've been a size 2 my entire life. I eat like a pig, and nothing sticks."

"But how did they get that photo of you? You weighed, like, 337 pounds!"

"That's my sister. She got the family's lard gene."

"But—"

"Ethan, be quiet. I saw you at that conference my first week here—your momma walked in and you were really nice to her, and then here, this morning, you give me donuts, which means you're not trying to change me or anything—that you can handle me being me, even if that means eating myself to death."

I looked up and was suddenly, irrationally, pleased there was no gum tucked under the desk's front lip.

Kaitlin said, "I'm going to see
Princess Mononoke
tonight at the Ridge—and you're coming with me."

I nodded yes.

"Good." She gave me a kiss. "I'll keep people away so you can sleep. I'll wake you up at seven."

"Thanks."

"Good night, Ethan."

"Good night, Kaitlin."

Pranks > Freakish job > Frilly > Mysterious > Baby pink

Yummy Dainty Sheer-Lace SexyAdult Sissy Girly-Girl

Leadership and the

One-Minute Manager . . .

nice
parking,
asshole

NHF

Nu-Sport Health & Fitness

NCAA

TOYOTA

Panasonic

BASF

Bayer

American Airlines

Pan Am

Lufthansa

northAmerican

BellSouth

Aeromexico

AGFA

Hapag-Lloyd

Prudential

xanax

Bankers

Box®

No Penalties

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