Jonah's Return (Detroit Heat Book 3) (5 page)

At ten past, I saw her.
 
This time, my heart really did leap.
 
God, she looks good.
 
Abbey was in amazing shape, just like she had been when she was on Engine 37.
 
I looked down and realized that I wasn’t working out quite as hard as I used to.
 
I tried to hide my smile when she walked in, but it was no use.

Abbey saw it and immediately pointed a finger at me, “Don’t you smile at me like that.
 
Jonah Swain, you have got yourself in a deep, dark hole.
 
You’ve got some climbing to do.”

She was right.
 
Her words were hard, but I could see the hint of a smile at the corners of her mouth.
 
If I knew Abbey, she was about to hit me with the punchline.

“And you can start digging by getting me a chai tea latte.”
 
She rarely disappointed.

I nodded and dug into my pockets for the wad of cash I’d gotten back from my third coffee.
 
My nerves were shot, and I began to think I should have gone with decaf.

Abbey grabbed a two-person table, and I watched her as I waited for her drink.
 
I knew that she had to be as much of a mess as I was, but she wasn’t showing it.
 
When it came to emergencies, I could handle myself just fine.
 
When it came to personal stuff, I was a wreck.

“You drink.” It was hard not to fall back into our routines, even with a two year gap.
 
They were comfortable, something I never felt with Candice.
 
She never got used to the fire fighter life.

Taking the cup, Abbey rolled her eyes.
 
I would have taken it as a defeat, if she hadn’t smiled along with it.
 
“I shouldn’t be smiling, you know.”

I nodded, “Yeah, I know.”
 
She took a sip, and I knew I had to start things.
 
I had started all of this by showing up at her office, and that put the burden on me.
 
“How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been doing well, actually.
 
Work is…well, it’s work.”

“You miss it?”

Abbey tilted her head, giving me a non-committal response, “Yes and no.”

I knew she missed it, but,if she was like me, it was tainted.
 
Maybe there were departments that just clicked, and all of the guys understood each other, but it only took one or two bad apples to ruin things.
 

Havens was one of those.
 
No joke was too offensive, no personal jab was off-limits.
 
He lived for fire and pussy, and when he couldn’t get either, he was an ornery son of a bitch.
 
Havens hated the fact that he hadn’t been able to get to Abbey.
 
When she rejected him, he was quick to start laying into her.

“I know what you mean.
 
There’s good parts about it, and then there’s parts that make you want to...”
 
I didn’t really know where I had been going with that statement.

She gave me a playful kick under the table, “Make you want to put in a transfer request?”

I chuckled, “Yeah, something like that.
 
Abbey, I’m serious about all of this.
 
Like I said, I’m sorry it took me two years to get my head out of my ass.”

The conversation was switching gears.
 
I would have loved to keep it light, but we had important stuff to discuss.

Abbey knew it was time to get down and dirty, too.
 
“I didn’t wait around for you, Jonah.”

“I know you didn’t.
 
I didn’t expect you to.
 
I didn’t wait around for you either, I just didn’t feel like dating.
 
I had a bad taste in my mouth after Engine 37.
 
I buried myself in the work, and I didn’t even like that.”

“After I transferred the HQ, the shit didn’t stop.
 
You probably didn’t know that, but I still have to deal with guys from 37.
 
I deal with other transfers, but mostly formal complaints.”

I hadn’t even thought about it.
 
Just because Abbey wasn’t with Engine 37 anymore, that didn’t mean she was out of the fire service.
 
God, the terrible memories must have stung her over and over again, like working with a wasp’s nest overhead.

“About 37?”
 
I didn’t think we were that much worse than other divisions around the city.

Abbey nodded, “Yeah about 37.
 
I’ve processed more complaints about 37—Havens specifically—than most other departments.
 
He’s pissed off just about everyone from top to bottom in the DFD.”

I leaned back in the chair.
 
I was shocked, but I didn’t know why.
 
I guess because there is a culture of not narcing on anyone, especially if they are on your shift.
 
Havens was the kind of guy that didn’t care who hated him, even when he really should have cared.
 
I guess he had the record to prove it.

“I don’t want to blame anyone in particular, I just—“

“You.”
 
Abbey stared right at me.

“What?”

She pointed a finger, “You are to blame.
 
We could have powered through it.
 
We could have
talked
about it, for fuck’s sake.”

“You’re right.”

I could see that Abbey was getting fired up, again, and there would be no standing in her way.
 
“Damn right, I’m right.
 
You just
acted.
”
 
I didn’t say anything.
 
I knew Abbey well enough to know she wasn’t done laying into me.
 
“Shit, Jonah.
 
Men really can’t connect things in their heads, can they?
 
What is it that they drill into you constantly with fire fighting?
 
Team.
 
Your partner and you have to be in perfect sync, and you
have
to look out for them.
 
A relationship is no different.
 
I never understood why you didn’t connect those two things.”

Neither did I, until that moment.
 
She was right, men are no good at making connections compared to women.
 
A relationship wasn’t much different from standing in front of an inferno.
 
You know you are going inside, but you have someone next to you that you trust with your life.
 
You know them inside and out.
 
You know how they work, and they know how you work.
 
The two of you should move instinctually as one.
 
The two of
us
should have moved that way.

I was a little stunned.
 
“Wow.”

Abbey rolled her eyes, “Boys.”

“Yeah, yeah.”
 
It was my turn to roll my eyes at her.
 
For a few seconds I didn’t know what to say.
 
The chemistry between us was still there, but where were we supposed to go from there?
 
Somehow I doubted that the two of us could fall back into old routines that quickly.

My mind was empty.
 
I searched every corner for the right words.
 
Hell, I searched for
any
words.
 
I felt like I had a shot with Abbey, however slim that it might be.
 
She made it very clear to me that there was still a lot of hurt and mistrust.
 
That wasn’t something to come back from without some serious work.

“Jonah.”

I snapped out of my fruitless search for words, “Hmm?”

Abbey had her head cocked to one side.
 
She was more refreshing than spring after a long winter.
 
“Jonah.
 
Just ask me.”

I knew I’d catch hell, but my gender was getting the better of me, “Ask you what?”

“Really?
 
God, you are thicker than I remember.
 
Ask me on a date, dumbass.”

I probably had a blank look on my face.
 
There were still no words floating around in my thick skull.
 
Finally, as if the fear of drowning made me kick my legs, my inner voice returned,
“Do it!”

“Are you free for dinner this weekend?”

Abbey smiled and sipped her latte.
 
I knew she’d play with me a little before answering.
 
She always did love to see me sweat.
 
She set the cup down and locked eyes with me, “I thought you’d never ask.
 
Really, Jonah, I thought you’d never ask.”

I didn’t know if I expected a weight to be lifted off my shoulders.
 
I didn’t really know
what
to expect.
 
It wasn’t like some damn Lifetime movie where the guy gets the girl after equal parts strife and self-discovery.
 
It was life, it was messy, and for Abbey and me, it was starting all over again.

I waited a day to tell my friends, because I knew exactly what they were going to say.
 
Even two years later, the animosity was still strong from them.
 
Jonah had ruined my career, blah blah blah.
 
I needed the extra day to figure out exactly how I was going to break the news to them.

It’s not like we were getting married; it was just one dinner, and we’d go from there, but my girlfriends wouldn’t see it that way.
 
They would picture Jonah and me running off into the distance, only for me to be hurt and sent home crying all over again.

I sent a text to my best friend, Kate, and she was so surprised and upset that she actually called me.
 
“Please tell me this is a late April Fool’s joke.
 
Please, please, please, Abbey.”

“Let me explain.”
 
I knew she wouldn’t give me the chance.

“I don’t
think
so.
 
Maybe in your head everything is all rose-colored, but two years ago, you were shattered.
 
He
broke
your heart, and you’re just going to, I don’t know, start dating a fire fighter, again?
 
Abbey, please don’t do this to yourself.”

Kate was a great friend, but she worked at a pharmacy.
 
There were things that she just didn’t understand about the fire service.
 
Hell, there were things
I
didn’t understand, and I lived it.
 
Some things about dude culture I’ll just never get.

“He’s leaving his station.”
 
I sounded hopeful, hoping it would let her know just how serious Jonah was.

“What does that even mean?”

I laughed, “Kate, calm down, just give me a second.
 
First of all, it’s one dinner.
 
Second of all, he’s transferring from Engine 37.
 
He told me that he couldn’t take the sexism and the shitty attitudes.
 
I know it’s late, but it’s not too late.
 
He wants a desk job and a second shot.”

“He’s lonely and he wants a quick fuck.”

She was a good friend, always looking out for me.
 
“Kate, a transfer request has to go through his captain, a division chief, and then get filed at headquarters.
 
It’s an awful lot of work just to get some.”

“I’ve seen guys do some pretty crazy shit
just
to get some.” Kate wasn’t happy with me.
 
She made no bones about that.
 
My other friends would be on her side; I knew that already.
 
Jonah may have swayed my opinion, but he had a long way to go before he was back in the good graces of Kate, Ella, and my parents.
 
My parents!
 
I hadn’t even thought about them.

The thought hit me that I might be in a little bit over my head with the whole Jonah thing.
 
My parents had seen me grow up with one dream.
 
They had also seen that dream taken away by one man.
 
One Jonah Swain.
 
I had one hell of an uphill battle on my hands.