Jonah's Return (Detroit Heat Book 3) (10 page)

Havens had dragged himself to his feet, but he had a hand on the driver’s side mirror.
 
He extended the middle finger of his free hand, and I turned back to my car.
 
I felt much better.

I stopped off for a bag of frozen fruit on the way to work.
 
It thawed on my right hand as I sorted through paperwork with my left.
 
A feeling of satisfaction kept the pain away, and I smiled thinking about whatever terrible lie Havens would come up with to disguise what had really happened to him.

Someone knocked on my door, and I swiped the softening berries into a drawer.
 
My hand was red and a two knuckles were scraped up.
 
“Come on in,” I said, sliding my right hand onto my lap beneath my desk.

The door swung open, and there was Jonah.
 
He looked great in his DFD polo.
 
I had to admit that the bunker gear was way sexier, but I liked the professional looking Jonah.
 
It made him seem a little more grown up, somehow.

“Good morning, sir.
 
How’s it feel going to work two whole days in a row?”
 
I smiled at him as Jonah stepped inside and gave the door a shove.
 
He dropped his body into the chair across from me.

“It’s gonna take some serious getting used to, but I think I’ll manage.
 
You had your meeting this morning?”

I hadn’t said meeting, just that I had something.
 
I guess there had been a meeting between my fist and Havens’ face.
 
I’d leave that out of the conversation for the time being.
 
“Yup, done and done.
 
Would you like to do something after work?”

Jonah nodded, “I would, indeed.
 
Why don’t we take a walk?”

“That sounds great.”
 
I barely recognized the man sitting across from me.
 
He was dressed for his desk job, asking me on fun, cutesy date ideas.
 
And then there was me; out punching assholes in the face.
 
Had we switched brains or something?
 
I steered the conversation back to work, hoping to convince myself to make it through the entire day.

“When’s your first event?”

Jonah gave a look that screamed fear, “Tomorrow, actually.”

“Did you schedule it that early?”

“No,” he shook his head, “I guess this one was already on the books, and so here I am.
 
I’ve got some videos to watch, and I’m going to do a quick online class for a fire prevention officer cert, but I am crapping myself.
 
It’s a general assembly, like four hundred kids.”

I smiled at that thought.
 
The few community outreach programs I did were so much fun.
 
I loved interacting and talking with all of the children, especially the girls.
 
If they showed any interest in going into the fire service, I would get overjoyed.
 
I hoped that by the time they grew up, the mentality would be different, and they’d be able to make it.

Some of the girls called me their hero, and those sweet words from the little ones stuck with me.
 

“What’s with that smile?”
 
Jonah raised an eyebrow.

“What smile?”

He leaned forward, “I start talking about little poop machines, and you get this glazed look in your eyes and a goofy smile on your face.”

“Don’t call them that.
 
Come on, Jonah, they can’t help it.”
 
Pain and hurt appeared on my face as I tried to defend the defenseless children that Jonah thought of as
poop machines.

He laughed and raised his hands, “Okay, okay.
 
They can’t help it.
 
Regardless, I’m not sure how tomorrow is going to go.
 
I thought I’d have a bit more prep time before they threw me into the raptor cage.”

I gave him a dirty look.
 
Maybe fire prevention wasn’t the best thing for Jonah.
 
“Is that how you really feel?”

“No, I’m just messing.
 
I’m sure it will go just fine.
 
I do all right
with the kids, but it’s just way different than what I’m used to, you know?”

I looked away.
 
It was far too early into things to bring up children, but over the last two years, the thought had come to me more and more often.
 
If I brought it up after one date, I’d look like a baby-crazy woman.
 
Based on what Jonah was saying, it would scare him away in a hurry.
 
I had to bite my tongue.
 
“Yeah, I know.
 
Just nerves.”

I gave my mouse a shake, “Ok, mister.
 
I gotta get back to it, and I’m sure you have some more prep work to do.
 
I’ll see you at five, yeah?”

Jonah looked at me for a second.
 
He probably saw right through my anything-but-subtle end to the conversation, “Yeah.
 
I’ll see you at five.”

After he left and closed the door behind him, I brought my hand back up and got the makeshift icepack back on it, even though the bag of mixed berries was just about thawed.
 
My hand was throbbing because my heart was pounding.
 
Did Jonah not like kids?
 
It really sounded like he didn’t.
 
Was he going to survive in his position spending twenty hours a week getting mobbed by the little ones?
 

Besides his job, was there a future for us?
 
I might not have been ready to have children that moment, but I was thinking two or three years down the road.
 
Despite taking things slow on our second go around, I pictured Jonah as the father of my children.
 
It was a vision that made me feel warm and comforted inside.
 

That was before I heard how he really felt, though.

The rest of the day, I spent icing my hand and worrying.
 
I tried
not
to worry, but it was hard.
 
Yes, Jonah and I were taking it slow, if you ignored the sex.
 
Yes, we had only been on one date, if you ignored the time two years ago.
 
Yes, I didn’t
really
know how he felt about children.
 
No, it didn’t help me, any.

I dialed my phone, because I needed someone to ground me.

“Katie, I’m going a little nuts.”

After I explained to her what happened, she agreed that I was going nuts.
 
It was hard for her to be objective, but I wasn’t exactly looking for objective.
 
I was looking for someone to calm me down.

“Trust me, you don’t need to be worrying about what someone thinks of kids until two months in.
 
Two months is when the puppy love starts to fade, and the real people start to come out.
 
Then you see if he’s worth a damn.”
 
I could hear in her voice that she didn’t think he was.

I nodded, turning in my chair to look out onto Detroit.
 
“Maybe your right.
 
I know it’s way early.
 
I know that, but I’m still having a crisis.
 
My ovaries are trying to take me over.”

Katie laughed, “Don’t let them, girl.
 
Silence them with margaritas and birth control!”

I shook my head.
 
Katie wasn’t a fan of Jonah’s, but she just wanted what was best for me and what made me happy.
 
“I’m already on the pill, and as soon as the whistle blows, I’ll see what I can do about the margs.”

Katie wouldn’t have liked hearing that I planned on spending my Tuesday night with Jonah.
 
I’d let her rest easy thinking I’d drink my problems away.
 
I was nervous for me and Jonah.
 
Would the discussion of kids linger between us and ruin the evening?

Not two minutes after hanging up with Katie, my phone buzzed on my desk, and I didn’t have to worry about anything ruining my evening with Jonah.

Have to cancel tonight.
 
Something came up.
 
Sry.

Great…

I sat at home drinking a beer.
 
It was not how I had originally intended on spending my Tuesday night.
 
The text was a cowardly thing to do, but I had to get my head on straight.
 
I read things on Abbey’s face that had me worried.

I had to stop telling myself that we had only been on one date. We’d only been on one date in two years. We’d actually dated for three months and then taken a two year break.
 
In that time, she’d grown up, and she wanted more out of life than the rush of adrenaline and the thrill of a rescue in the middle of the night.
 
I understood that she had grown up, but had I?

That had me worried.
 
I didn’t want to lose Abbey, but I wanted her to get everything that she wanted. I wrestled with that thought all night. Just when I had thought I was enough, I realized that the world was bigger than just Abbey and me.

After a fourth beer and no new answers, I called it a night. More than once I had picked up my phone intending to text Abbey. I set it down realizing I had no words. Nothing I could've said would help any. I felt stuck, and that scared me more than leaving Engine 37, more than dealing with Havens, more than all my fears combined.

The sound of four hundred kids in a gymnasium was a cacophony after the silence I had enjoyed just a half hour earlier. It had been peaceful as I set up my extinguisher and my bunker gear, but all of those kids yapping at once was anything but peaceful. It didn't do anything to help my nerves, either.

I pulled out my notecards, cursing myself for writing so little. At the time, I told myself that the shorthand would be easy to decipher, but as I stared at them, they might as well have been Greek.
 

“This'll be fun,” I mused to myself.

I forced a smile as the school principal stepped on stage with me. She extended her hand, and I shook it. I wonder how she was able to keep calm in this chaos. "Thank you again, Mr. Swain. The kids look forward to this every year."

"Jonah is fine. I'm happy to do it, but I can't lie. It's been a while since I've given the fire safety talk, and I don't know if I've ever given it to this many kids at a time." I looked out over the sea of tiny faces. Some of them were staring at me already. Most were talking to friends, fidgeting, and fighting with the person next to them. Little hellions.

The principal—I had already forgotten her name—looked out over them with me. "Sure, if you leave them to their own devices, the noise level climbs and climbs." She raised a hand with all five fingers extended, and as she slowly counted down, the entire school silenced. By the count of two, all I heard was rustling and the occasional cough. "But they can be trained, well enough."