Jaded (Rock Star Trilogy) (19 page)

After dinner, we decide to take a
romantic walk
on the beach... Though Stephan is stubborn, and possibly the most sarcastic guy I have ever met, he has these amazing moments where he's so sweet and thoughtful. Like
right now
. He's holding my hand, as we walk. Neither of us are saying a word, but we don't have to. The moment is so serene, and if I had the power to stop time, I would at this exact moment because
everything is perfect
.

“
Scarlett?” Stephan is the one to break the silence.

“
Yeah.”

“
I really like you,” he says. It's simple, but the words are
exactly
what I need to hear. I can't help but smile.

“
I really like you, too.”

“
I've also fantasized my whole life about having sex on the beach.” And
just like that
, Stephan is back.

I playfully hit his arm. “I'm not taking the
chance of getting caught. Couldn't you see the news tomorrow? Scarlett caught having sex on a
public
beach.”

“
I was kidding, Scar.” His voice is very serious as he says it, and I know that he's telling the truth.

“
Oh.” I paused. “So, I was wondering... What was your childhood like?”

“
It was actually awesome. My dad was amazing. He always took me to baseball games, theme parks, and spoiled me rotten. He always made time for me. Mom was a lot different before he died as well. She was happier. We really had the perfect life.” He shakes his head sadly. “Looking back, I don't know how he did it. How could he hide his affair from
both
of us? Shouldn't there have been clues? But, there wasn't, Scar. He was so
perfect
.”

“
Have you forgiven him?” I ask.

“
Not yet,” he answers. “Someday I will, but not now. I can't.”

“
I'm really sorry about what happened, Stephan. You and your mom didn't deserve that. Neither did Mona and her dad. I don't understand how they could have done that to you.” I feel overwhelmingly sad just thinking about the tragic situation.

“
But, if you can find it in your heart to forgive your sister Stacy, I should find it in my heart to forgive him, you know?”

“
I haven't forgiven her yet,” I respond, biting my lip.

“
You will, though. I know you. You're too good to hold a grudge.” He stops and looks me in the eyes. “I love how you view the world. I've never met somebody so insightful. Sometimes I have a hard time believing you're only nineteen.”

“
Ditto, Stephan. Seriously, you think things through, you don't just dive in head first,” I pause for a second. “Well, besides your racing. You are kind of crazy in that aspect. But you're a very deep thinker. And I know that your sarcasm is just something to scare people away. You have been so hurt, and you are scared to let anybody else hurt you, yet, you still let me in.”

He shrugs. “I just learn from life, and take each day one at a time.”

“Exactly! Most people at school are too worried about which table their sitting at, or who is popular, but
not you
. You don't care what people think. I wish I could be more like you.”

“
You can't please everybody. There will always be haters, and you will never measure up in everybody's eyes. It's insane to even try.”

Once again, Stephan knows exactly what to say to me. Everytime.

Saturday, September 26

7:32 am

Why am I up this early on a Saturday?

Saturday morning, I was woken up at 7:30 am by Stephan, and Ethan. Apparently they were in the mood to surf, which meant I had to be as well.

“
Leave me alone!” I pull the covers back over my head.

“
The waves are calling,” Stephan says, pulling the covers.

“
I don't even know how to surf. Do I need to remind you how terrible I was last time we tried?” I pull the covers up again. “It's Saturday, and it's way too early to be up, let alone doing physical activities.”

Stephan and Ethan both gasp dramatically. “How can you even say you're from California if you
don't know how to surf
? It's like you're cursing.”

I pull the covers down and glare at Stephan. “It's kind of hard to surf and win a Grammy at the same time. I was a little busy having a career. Besides, I'm from Washington.”

“Well
we are going to teach you
,” Ethan insists. “It will be
FUN
.”

“
I suck.” They both continue to look... no
GLARE
... at me. I roll my eyes in defeat. I know there is no way to talk them out of this. “
Fine
. I'll come. But so is Bridgett. Go wake her up while I get ready.”

After the leave, I brush my teeth, throw my hair into a messy bun on top of my head, and put on a white bikini with yellow flowers. When I walk out of my room, Ethan, Stephan, and Bridgett are all waiting on me.

“How do you get ready so fast?” I ask her. Seriously, I didn't take more than five minutes. How was she ready before me?

She shrugs. “Let's go. Maybe we can actually learn something this time.”

I'm in the middle of the ocean, sitting on a surfboard, listening to Ethan explain how to surf. He's already demonstrated about five times. Bridgett and I have both tried twice, and failed. I think he's getting annoyed, but really, what did he expect? Neither of us are really very athletic.

While Ethan is demonstrating for the sixth time, Stephan comes over to us. “He's not a very good teacher. You're both standing too far back on your boards. You just need to distribute your weight more evenly.”

“
Ok,” we both say.

“
Now remember to
feel the wave. Be the wave
. You are the ocean, and all that other crap,” he jokes.

There is a wave coming. It's a small one, and Stephan feels confident we can handle it. So, together, Bridgett and I paddle out, doing exactly as
Stephan instructed. I remember as I stand up to distribute my weight, and stand closer to the front of the board. And I
actually
stand up. I'm standing up on my board for about 10 seconds before I lose my balance and fall into the water.

When I come out of the water, I hear Stephan cheering. “That was
AWESOME!
”

I paddle back over to where Stephan and Ethan are, shortly followed by Bridgett. Stephan high fives us both.

“You guys were awesome. A few days of this, and you'll be pro in no time!”

“
If my arms don't fall off first,” Bridgett complains, rubbing her forearm. “This is a serious workout.”

I'm not feeling it yet, though I use my arm muscles a lot more. Or, at least I used to. I should probably do some kind of work out so my arms don't get weak.

9:16 am

Breakfast conversations...

We go to Stephan and Ethan's house for breakfast, and their mom goes all out. Bacon, eggs, fruit, toast, biscuits, gravy, and every kind of cereal known to mankind.

“
Please tell me you guys don't eat like this every morning,” I say, eying all the food.

“
We don't,” Ethan assures me. “Just on the weekends, and during the summer.”

“
Girls, don't worry. It's turkey bacon,” Sarah tells us, setting down a huge plate of bacon. “Less fat, and it's better for you.”

“
Thank you, Sarah,” I smile at her. “Have you met my sister, Bridgett?”

“
Yeah,” Bridgett answers for her. “We went shopping the other day while you were at school.”

“
How did I not know this?”

Bridgett shrugs.

“Well, I'm glad you found something to do while I'm at school,” I say. “It's got to be boring staying home all day.” I turn towards Sarah, and say, “I've told her she can take my car, but she always refuses.” I say it because I don't want her to think I'm making her stay home.

“
Your house is awesome, Scar. I could never get bored there,” she rolls her eyes at me, like I'm crazy. “And I'm not driving a car that costs more than a college education. What if I wreck it?”

“
That's what insurance is for. Besides, it's not like I couldn't afford another one. In fact, let me buy you your
own
car.”

“
No
! Seriously. I came here to
get to know you
. I don't want to take anything from you. That isn't what this is about.”

“
I know,” I try to calm her down. “Seriously, Bridge, you're
my sister
, and I love you. I
want
to do this. It doesn't even
have
to be an expensive car. Anything you want is yours.”

“
I will not take something I didn't earn.”

An idea hits me. “You could be my manager.”

She laughs. “Yeah right. I have no experience, no college degree, nothing. I would have no clue what to do.”

“
It's easy! All you have to do is answer a phone and keep things organized. Make sure I don't double book anything.” I am suddenly getting excited. “Since I'm on break, it's not too crazy right now. Once I start back next year, I will hire you an assistant.”

“
That's an excellent idea,” Ethan says, reminding me there are other people in the room.

“
Let me think about it,” she says.

“
Take your time,” I smile. “It's a huge decision. Just let me know what you decide.”

“
Ok.” She nods. “Tell me, are all breakfast conversations always this crazy?”

Everybody laughs, and we start eating the ginormous breakfast.

10:43 am

Scum bag

After breakfast, Bridgett and I go home to take showers. Stephan and Ethan are going to come over to hang out later, and we are going to watch movies.

I'm about to head to my room to take a shower when I hear Bridgett. It sounds like she's sick. I walk to her room and try to twist her bathroom doorknob, but it's locked.

I knock on the door. “Bridgett? Are you ok?”

A few seconds later, I hear the toilet flush and she opens the door. “I'm fine.” She leans over the sink and splashes water on her face.

“What's wrong, Bridgett? You can talk to me about anything.”

She looks at me with tears in her eyes, and I can tell that she is going to open up to me. “When I was 14, I had an eating disorder. I was able to hide it for two years. I was careful not to throw up at home, or around friends. Once my parent's found out, they got me help. I spent three months in a psychiatric hospital. After that I was better, and I haven't made myself throw up in almost three years. And then I caught my
boyfriend
of two years cheating with my college roommate. Since then, I've been sick again. I don't want to. I
hate
this part of me. But it makes me feel better, Scarlett. I don't want to miss him anymore.”

“
That guy is a
scum bag
for what he did to you.” I couldn't help the tears that fell from my eyes. My
sister
... my
BEST FRIEND
... was hurting. It hurt me to see her hurting. “But
you
are so much better than this.”

She begins to sob at my words, and I hug her tightly.

“I will help you, I promise,” I whisper in her ear. “No matter what, I will
always
be here for you.”

“
I know. I'm sorry that I let you down.”

“
You didn't,” I promise her. “Just please, don't keep anything from me anymore. You are the most important person in the world to me. I am going to help you. No judgment.”

“
Thank you.”

I call Stephan and let him know that Bridgett isn't feeling well. The truth is, we both need some sister time. I got a hold of a therapist who agreed to see us later on. I couldn't be there for my sister those two years she was sick before, but I can be there for her now. She is my priority.

Monday, September 28

7:32 am

I like you way too much.

I go to school on Monday. I hate leaving Bridgett, but the therapist assured us it was important to keep up normal routines. She hasn't thrown up since Saturday morning, which isn't long, I know, but I think she is going to be ok. On Saturday, Bridgett talked to the therapist alone for about an hour, and then we both talked to her. Since then, I really feel like she's been feeling better. I know it's a long road of recovery, but I have complete faith in her.