Jaded (Rock Star Trilogy) (17 page)

“
You look like you've just seen a ghost,” Alec says to me, breaking the silence in the room.

“
I think I have,” I whisper, so quiet I am not sure if anybody heard me.

I don't even have time to process the information before Stephan walks into the room, without a pizza. He's covered in oil, and he looks pissed.

“What's wrong?” I ask.

“
I don't know yet. I started my car, and it sounded terrible. So I opened the hood, and my car threw up oil on me.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “I don't have the tools to fix it. We're going to have to wait on a shop.”

I don't think I've ever seen him this pissed, and it's honestly scaring me.

“So, we will wait.” I keep my voice at a calm level, trying to get him to calm down. “It's not a big deal.”

“
I
never
let anybody else work on
my
car. It was me and my dad's thing.” He looks so vulnerable as he tells me.

“
So, we could have it towed home...” I suggest.

“
Have my car towed four hours? Seriously? Do you have any idea how much that would cost?” He looks at me like I've grown a second head.

“
Well, no...”

At this point, Bridgett and Alec are both standing around us. Alec puts his hand on Stephan's shoulder. “Dude, chill. We will figure this out.”

“I know...” he breathes. “This just
really
sucks.”

“
You stay here,” Alec tells Stephan, “and I will go pick up the pizza.”

By the time Alec gets back with the pizza, Stephan has taken a shower, and has seemed to calm down a bit. They eat pizza and then go back to their room. Stephan tries to get me to stay with him, but I refuse.

I know! Trust me, I know! Why turn Stephan down? He's beautiful, amazing, and everything I have ever wanted. But, I want to wait... Though, I'm not sure
what
I'm waiting for.

Or maybe I do know.

Maybe I'm waiting for
love
.

Saturday, September 19

9:03 am

Breakfast

The next morning, Stephan was able to drive his car (
very slowly
) to a nearby mechanic shop. I could tell he was sad to leave his
love
in the hands of somebody else, but he knew that he didn't have much other choice in the matter. They told us to give them until around 3pm, they were going to try to “
work him in
”, which in mechanic world meant, “
hope you don't have plans for a while
”.

We all decide to go grab some breakfast. I just order some fruit, and everybody looks at me funny.

“
What
? I don't want to get fat...” I say it like I'm joking, but I'm completely serious. I used to have a nutritionist planning all of my meals, and a personal trainer. Since moving to Hope, I've let a lot of things slide. I haven't gained weight,
YET
, but if I keep up like I have, I will.

“
Scarlett Ryan and fat don't even belong in the same sentence,” Alec says.

Stephan is shaking his head at me. “Seriously, you're such a girl... You're beautiful, and truthfully, you could stand to gain some weight.”

Alec nudges him. “Dude, no. Never tell a girl she's too fat, or too skinny.”

“
I'm comfortable with my body,” I counter. “I just don't have Bridgett's metabolism. I have to work to look this good.”

Bridgett looks uncomfortable at the mention of her. I can tell she's not used to being the center of attention.

We all eat, and thirty minutes later, Bridgett excuses herself to go to the bathroom.

“So, what are the plans for today?” Alec asks me.

“
Shopping, duh...” I've been stuck in a small town, and haven't been to the mall in way too long.

Alec and Stephan both groan, but neither of them say anything.

“I think I'm going to go to the bathroom, too.” I get up from the table and walk to the bathroom. I'm laughing to myself. When I step inside the bathroom, I hear somebody throwing up. “Bridgett?” I ask.

I hear a toilet flush, and Bridgett walks out of the stall. She looks very white.

“Oh my god, are you ok?” I ask, putting my hand to her forehead. She doesn't feel warm.

“
Yeah, I'm fine,” she quickly replies. “I felt a little sick to my stomach, but I'm feeling better now.”

When Bridgett talks, she doesn't look me in the eyes, so I know that she's lying. But why would she lie about being sick?

“Ok, well, let me know if you feel sick again.” I really wasn't sure what else to say, I just know that I'm going to keep a close eye on her for the rest of the day.

10:43 am

Two point five kids.

After eating, we hit the mall. It's been almost a month since I went shopping, and I am in desperate need of retail therapy. Alec is really excited, despite his earlier reaction. Bridgett and him go off on their own, which I worry about. I really wanted to spend the day with her, so I could watch her. But I was also glad. Stephan and I needed some alone time.

Stephan holds my hand as we walk through the mall, and it feels right. Touching him, and being close is something that I crave.

“
So, there is something that I need to tell you,” I tell him, once again thinking about the email I got from Andrew Davis.

“
What is it?” His voice is full of concern.

I hesitate, hoping he doesn't think I'm crazy for wanting to find Stacy. “Do you remember me telling you about my older sister Stacy? The one who ran away...”

He nods.

“
Well, I hired a private investigator to find her, which is how I found Bridgett,” I fidget with my fingers as I tell him. “I was going to tell him to stop looking for Stacy. I figured if she wanted to find me, she would. Then yesterday, I got an email from my PI... He found her.”

“
That's great, Scar.”

I shake my head. “I'm not so sure, actually.”

“Why not? You're finding your sister after 9 years.”

“
She's known where I have been my whole life. She's seen me on TV. But not
once
has she tried to contact me.” Angry tears threaten to escape my eyes. “I'm not sure I
want
to see her anymore.”

He stops suddenly, and turns me so I'm looking straight at him. “You owe it to yourself to go see her, and at the very least get some closure.”

He's right, and I know that. “I know.” Despite how angry I am at her, I began to really wonder about Stacy. “Do you think she has kids? Maybe I'm an aunt.”

“
How old is she now?”

“
She is 26. I hope she's had a happy life. Maybe she is married with two point five kids, living in the suburbs somewhere with a nice house, and a super awesome SUV that she hauls her kids to soccer practice in.”

Stephan laughs. “You've really thought about this, haven't you?”

I nod. “Yes, I have. I also wonder how I will be at 26. I'm not going to be a rock star forever.”

“
26 is still very young. You will be the perfect age to play a teenager is some TV drama,” he jokes. “You could be the new Gossip Girl.”

“
You know that
gossip girl was a guy
, right? But I like your way of thinking. Maybe my sister isn't married, and doesn't have kids. Maybe she's a successful business woman,” I smile at the thought. “Rich all on her own. I like it.”

“
See,
this
is why you have to go see her. You need to know if she's doing alright.”

I nod, because I know that what he's saying is true. I have wondered about Stacy my whole life, and I need to see with my own eyes that she is alright. I need to hug her. But most of all, I need to know why she left. I've spent nine years blaming myself, and I owe it to myself to know the truth so I can move on.

“When Andrew calls me, I will go,” I decide.

“
Good.”

“
Yep, and now I need to get your opinion on some shoes,” I say, dragging him into the shoes store. I hear him groan behind me, and can't help but smile.

1:32 pm

You can't eat sushi with a fork.

For lunch, we go to a nice Japanese restaurant. Bridgett reveals to me that she's never had sushi before, so I insist that she try it.

“I don't know how I feel about raw fish,” she reasons with me.

“
Not all sushi has raw fish in it,” I counter. “Besides, you have no choice. You
have
to try it.”

“
Fine,” she says in defeat.

I smile. “You will love it, I promise. It's even low in calories.”

I order all my favorite rolls – California, tuna, and salmon. I like to venture out, and try new things, but once I ordered squid and couldn't eat it. I just looked at it, thinking of Squidward. So, when it comes to sushi, I stick to the basics.

Stephan comes to the table, with a smile on his face. “It won't be too much longer.” He then explains what is wrong with his car, which I tune out. I love cars, don't get me wrong, but I definitely know nothing about repairs.

Alec and Stephan go back and forth talking about cars, so I talk to Bridgett.

“
How are you feeling?” I ask her. “Have you gotten sick anymore?”

“
No,” she shakes her head. “Maybe I was allergic to something that I ate this morning.”

“
Does that happen a lot?”

“
No. It was just a fluke thing...”

The conversation is making her nervous. But why is she nervous? “Ok, well, I'm glad you're better,” I say, dropping the topic. I am just being paranoid for no reason, I decide.

The waitress brings out our sushi and I watch Bridgett pick up her fork.

I laugh. “You can't eat sushi with a fork.” I pick up my chopsticks, and show her how to hold them. Then I mix the wasabi and soy sauce. “Wasabi is really strong, so you just want to barely dip it.” I dip the bottom of the sushi in, pull it out, and eat it.

“Ok,” she tries to mimic what I did, but ends up dropping her piece in the wasabi.

“
You know, sushi is good without wasabi,” I say, moving the sauce aside.

She tries again to pick up a piece of sushi, and end up dropping it back onto her plate. She picks up the fallen piece with her fingers, and puts it in her mouth. I watch, waiting for her reaction.

“So?”

“
Wow. I can't believe I've been missing out on such an amazing food my whole life!” She reaches for another piece.

“
I told you!”

6:52 pm

Fucking fantastic!

It's almost six before we get on the road. I drive my car with Bridgett back, and Alec rides with Stephan... They both mention something about too much girly time?

I sip on my Red Bull, and Bridgett looks at me with disgust.

“
How can you drink that nasty crap?”

I take another drink. “Augh... Amazing!” I laugh. “Seriously, Red Bull has got me through so many performances. I don't know what I would do without it.”

“It's so bad for you!”

“
Actually, it has less caffeine than a cup of coffee,” I counter. “Its packed full of vitamin B12, and it
stimulates your metabolism
!”

She rolls her eyes. “Ok, I believe the first part, but I don't believe the metabolism part.”

“It says so right here on the can!” I point to it. “You should research your facts next time. Seriously, Bridge, I thought you had all the brains.”

“
Ha, ha,” she replies, unamused. “Obviously I'm not as smart as you. You're a millionaire at age 19. I'm just a college dropout with no job, no boyfriend, no car and no money.”

“
You're
not
a college dropout! You're simply taking a
break
.” I smile. “If you want, after I graduate, I will even go to college with you!”

“
Yeah, right,” she says. “You don't
need
college, Scar. You're awesome without it.”

“
But I would do it, for you.”

“
I am so sick of people
doing things
for me!” she screams. “Why does everybody think that I'm so vulnerable? I'm not a child!”