Read “It’s Not About the Sex” My Ass Online

Authors: Joanne Hanks,Steve Cuno

“It’s Not About the Sex” My Ass (15 page)

 

The road to sanity, inner strength, and independence hasn’t
been easy. Nor am I at its end. I suspect the road doesn’t even
have
an end—for anyone. I have
worked with counselors, psychologists, and psychiatrists, and I intend to keep
it up. Becoming my own person is an ongoing process. Like anyone, I am a work
in progress.

I am positive about the future, especially now that I at
last realize just how big a say I have in how it will play out. I want to work,
paint, travel, learn, delve into the mysteries of science … and help my kids
find rationality, strength, and independence of their own.

The scared, obedient, submissive polygamist wife doesn’t
live here anymore.

 

Cults are horrible things. They rob you of perspective.
Worse, they make you afraid to trust your common sense. Here is the best
protection from charlatans, manipulators, controllers, and opportunists I can
offer:
Whenever you find your emotions pulling you toward believing the opposite
of what the evidence says, overrule your emotions and trust the evidence.

There is no better way to spare yourself the pain of
needless, unfortunate decisions.

 

         Thank you
for coming along with me on my journey. I hope you shared a bit of outrage with
me, along with a few laughs.

I don’t expect anyone to fully understand me, how I feel
about life, or how I see the world around me.

That is the privilege we all have—to be different, and
to be happy about it.

Appendix A: The Cult Demarcation Problem

By Steven Novella, M.D.

Reprinted with the author’s kind permission

Originally published on
NEUROLOGICAblog

http://theness.com/neurologicablog/index.php/the-cult-demarcation-problem/

 

Dr.
Steven Novella is an academic clinical neurologist at Yale University School of
Medicine. He is the president and cofounder of the New England Skeptical
Society, the host and producer of the popular weekly science podcast The
Skeptics’ Guide to the Universe, a senior fellow and Director of Science-Based
Medicine at the James Randi Educational Foundation (JREF), a fellow of the
Committee for Skeptical Inquiry (CSI), and a founding fellow of the Institute
for Science in Medicine. The NeuroLogicaBlog covers news and issues in
neuroscience, but also general science, scientific skepticism, philosophy of
science, critical thinking, and the intersection of science with the media and
society. Dr. Novella also blogs on The Rogues Gallery (official blog of the
SGU), SkepticBlog, and Science-Based Medicine.

 

I recently received the following question:

 

Big
fan etc etc but I often (in the podcast, in the Why Are Nerds Unpopular
article) hear/see you use the term “cult.” Could you give a definition of what
a cult is?

Specifically,
could you provide one that distinguishes a “cult” from, say, a Baptist church,
or a Buddhist society, while also being encompassing enough to include all of
the different groups that people have applied the label “cult” to?

I
ask because I do not have such a definition, and from everything that I know
about the sociology of religions it is not possible to have such a definition.
“Cult” seems to be a derogatory term applied by members of a dominant/popular
religious group towards a smaller religious group that they don’t like, and I’m
disappointed that you use it so readily and without any qualification.

 

The questioner is right to question the use of a term like
“cult” but is apparently unaware that there has been a great deal written about
what a cult actually is. There are many different lists of characteristics of
cults, and not one list is definitive, but if you read through them you will
find a great deal of overlap and recurring themes. One thing to keep in mind is
that a cult is defined more by how it behaves than what it believes—a set
of beliefs alone cannot constitute a cult. You can read through the many lists
on the link I provided, but I will summarize what I think are the main themes:

1) Totalitarian
control—
Cults attempt to have total control over their members, which
includes absolute dogmatic authority of their leader, who tends to be
charismatic.

2) Secrecy—
Cults
tend not to be up front with their entire belief system. The core beliefs are
revealed slowly, as members “progress” deeper into the folds of the cult.

3) Separation—
Cults
use many methods to separate their members from their former social network and
society at large. These methods include instilling an “us vs them” or in-group
vs out-group mentality, using jargon that identifies members but is
unintelligible to non-members, and physical isolation. Cults also try to
convince members that their family and friends are corrupt or impure and
interaction with them is destructive. They also require large donations,
encouraging financial dependence on the cult.

4) Mind
Control—
Cults are very manipulative. They use a variety of techniques
to indoctrinate or “brainwash” their members. These include things like “love
bombing”—overwhelming recruits with positive physical and social
attention—using guilt, hypnosis, loss of privacy, deprivation, verbal
abuse, and other techniques.

5) Self-contained Belief System—The cult belief system
tends to be absolute—the leader has perfect authority and exclusive
knowledge, they are never to be questioned, everyone who disagrees with the
leader is evil and to be opposed, and members who leave the group are always
wrong and degenerate. Meanwhile the doctrine tends to be confusing and only
slowly revealed when members are “ready.”

If you read the various lists you will see these themes crop
up over and over, separated out to varying degrees. You will notice that most
of the features have nothing to do with what the cult believes, but rather how
it is organized and how it behaves. There are some features of the belief
system itself that are more or less cult-like (specifically those that
accomplish the other goals, like separation and total control), but no beliefs
are essential.

It should also be noted that cults do not have to be
religious. There are self-help cults, financial cults, para-military (survival)
cults, medical cults, and UFO cults.

The demarcation problem

The real world is often fuzzy and defies our attempts at
simple categorization. The recent flap over whether or not Pluto is a planet is
a good example of this. We sometimes refer to the “demarcation problem” when we
try to draw a line that separates two ends of a continuum. Philosophers use
this term for the demarcation between science and pseudoscience (or non
science).

Often the system that develops is a list of characteristics
that define one or the other end of the spectrum; the more characteristics that
a group (in this case) possesses the more they are considered to be toward that
end of the spectrum. So if we choose our list of cult characteristics, then we
can assess any group or institution and check off which ones they possess. The
more they have, the more of a cult they are.

There are two logical fallacies to avoid with such systems.
The first is the false dichotomy—dividing the spectrum into a binary
system—either you are a cult or not. It has to be recognized that a group
can have no cult characteristics, be a little cult-like, very cult-like, a total
cult, and everything in between.

However, there is also the opposite fallacy—the false
continuum—which essentially is the argument that because a characteristic
exists on a continuum, and there is a demarcation problem, that we cannot
meaningfully talk about either end of the continuum. This is like saying that
because there is no sharp line dividing short and tall, there is no such thing
as a tall person or a short person. In the case of cults, some may argue that
there is no such thing as a cult because there is no one definition—but
that is not a valid argument. In practice we can still use the term “cult” to
refer to groups that have a certain critical mass of cult-like features.

Human nature

It seems that cults basically exploit certain aspects
(frailties?) of human nature. We have a tendency to be attracted to charismatic
leaders, to surrender to authority—even to surrender our critical
thinking to charismatic authority figures. We are also tribal, with a tendency
to divide the world into us vs them, and with an intense need for acceptance
and belonging. We have a need for simplicity and moral clarity—absolute
certainty about what and who is right and wrong.

Cults exploit these features of human nature. In fact, they
often deliberately target the most vulnerable people.

But this also means that we will find some cult features in
many human endeavors, including those that do not rise to the level of being
called a “cult.” High pressure sales “seminars” often use methods of
manipulation similar to cults, including physical exhaustion. Politicians may
exploit their charisma and our tribal tendencies. Most religious belief-systems
and institutions have an authoritarian structure based upon dogma and moral
clarity.

Therefore we need to be on guard for cult-like behaviors
even in our everyday lives. We need to keep our critical thinking skills sharp,
question authority, question our own motives, and be wary of any group or
individual displaying cult characteristics.

Knowledge of cults is really knowledge of how people can be
manipulated, and should therefore be part of our Homo sapiens user manual.

Appendix B: The Mormon Revelation on Polygamy
Doctrine and Covenants of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints,
Section 132

This is
the revelation in which the Lord commands Mormon founder and prophet Joseph
Smith Jr. to become a polygamist. It was recorded on July 12, 1843, although
Smith took his first plural wife in 1831. I am including it in its entirety for
readers who are interested in seeing in context the excepts I used in chapter
headings. If you don’t feel like wading through the whole thing—I can
hardly blame you—here are some highlights:

 

• God
promises to answer Smith’s question as to why Abraham et al got away with
having lots of wives. God says that the answer includes a law that Smith will
be required to obey. (Verses 1-3)

• People
married by proper authority in this life who manage not to murder anyone are
married in the next life and become gods. (Verse 19-20)

• God
commanded Abraham, David, and Solomon to be polygamists. (Verses 34-39)

• God
reminds Smith that his calling is to “restore all things.” The implication is
that “all things” includes polygamy, since it existed in the old days. (Verses
40 and 45)

• God
spells out a few rules of polygamy. (Verses 41-44)

• God
withdraws an offer he had made to Smith’s wife Emma, which isn’t spelled out,
and commands her to accept Smith’s additional wives or be destroyed. (Verses
51-54)

• A man
must obtain consent from his first wife before taking additional wives. But if
she withholds consent, she is a transgressor and will be destroyed, so her
husband can proceed without her permission. (Verses 61-65)

 

1 Verily, thus saith the Lord unto you my servant Joseph,
that inasmuch as you have inquired of my hand to know and understand wherein I,
the Lord, justified my servants Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, as also Moses, David
and Solomon, my servants, as touching the principle and doctrine of their
having many wives and concubines—

2 Behold, and lo, I am the Lord thy God, and will answer
thee as touching this matter.

3 Therefore, prepare thy heart to receive and obey the
instructions which I am about to give unto you; for all those who have this law
revealed unto them must obey the same.

4 For behold, I reveal unto you a new and an everlasting
covenant; and if ye abide not that covenant, then are ye damned; for no one can
reject this covenant and be permitted to enter into my glory.

5 For all who will have a blessing at my hands shall abide
the law which was appointed for that blessing, and the conditions thereof, as
were instituted from before the foundation of the world.

6 And as pertaining to the new and everlasting covenant, it
was instituted for the fulness of my glory; and he that receiveth a fulness
thereof must and shall abide the law, or he shall be damned, saith the Lord
God.

7 And verily I say unto you, that the conditions of this law
are these: All covenants, contracts, bonds, obligations, oaths, vows,
performances, connections, associations, or expectations, that are not made and
entered into and sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, of him who is anointed,
both as well for time and for all eternity, and that too most holy, by
revelation and commandment through the medium of mine anointed, whom I have
appointed on the earth to hold this glower (and I have appointed unto my
servant Joseph to hold this power in the last days, and there is never but one
on the earth at a time on whom this power and the keys of this priesthood are
conferred), are of no efficacy, virtue, or force in and after the resurrection
from the dead; for all contracts that are not made unto this end have an end
when men are dead.

8 Behold, mine house is a house of order, saith the Lord
God, and not a house of confusion.

9 Will I accept of an offering, saith the Lord, that is not
made in my name?

10 Or will I receive at your hands that which I have not
appointed?

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