His face fell. 'Ah, Mum, but it's Friday.'
Sam got to stay up a bit later at the weekend and Dee usually played junior Scrabble or Snakes and Ladders with him before bedtime.
'Sorry darling,' she said again, 'but I'm trying to get all my work finished tonight so that we can have the whole weekend together.'
'What are we going to do?' he said excitedly. 'Are we going somewhere nice?'
Dee hadn't thought that far ahead. 'You'll just have to wait and see.'
'Ah, Mum!'
'Eat your tea and you can have some Buttons and watch a video while I clean up.'
'Is Conor coming over?'
'No, not tonight.'
'Why not?'
'I told you, I have to work.'
'But he could come and play with me,' Sam persisted.
'Sam, I told you, he's not coming,' Dee snapped.
Sam's bottom lip started to tremble.
'Look, Sam,' Dee said impatiently, 'grown-ups can't always drop what they're doing just to play with children; we're very busy.'
Sam climbed down from the table and went to the door.
'Where are you going?'
'Upstairs.'
'Don't you want to stay here with me?'
He looked at her, unblinking. 'Sorry, I'm busy.'
Dee listened to him stomp upstairs and sighed. 'Well, that's telling me.'
It was almost ten o'clock when Lisa followed Ger into the crowded pub and she grimaced when she saw there was a gang of his cronies from work in the corner and it was patently obvious they'd been there for some time. Now not only was she not getting a nice meal out – he'd convinced her to go for a burger and fries instead – but they weren't even going to have some time alone together. 'Let's sit at the bar,' she whispered in his ear, trying to drag him back.
'We can't do that, it would be rude,' he said, pulling her after him. 'Hey, everyone, you know Lisa.'
Lisa nodded hello and got some garbled responses and waves in return.
'Well, did she feed ya?' one of the lads jeered.
'Shut up, PJ, and buy a round,' Ger retorted.
'I will not, it's your round,' the man protested and belched loudly.
'So what did you make him, love?' A girl with strawberry blonde hair and thick horn-rimmed glasses moved up on the seat and patted the space beside her. 'Was it the shepherd's pie or the lasagne tonight?'
'Don't mind her, Lisa,' Ger said reddening. 'She's had one or twenty too many.'
'My mother always said', the girl continued, 'the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I think it's quite nice that he goes home for his dinner every night.'
Lisa stiffened and raised an eyebrow at Ger. 'We don't live together.'
'And you still cook for him?' The loudmouthed PJ roared with laughter. 'Nice one, Ger.'
Lisa was seriously thinking of walking out and leaving Ger with his revolting workmates when she saw Conor Fitzgerald sitting at the bar alone. 'Excuse me for a minute,' she said and left, brushing past Ger. 'Hey, Conor, how's it going?'
'Lisa!' His face split into a wide grin. 'Fancy seeing you here.' He took his jacket off the stool beside him and pushed it towards her.
'Where's Dee, in the loo?' she asked as she climbed up beside him.
'No, I'm on my own, she's working tonight.'
Lisa frowned. 'She is?'
It was Conor's turn to look confused. 'Isn't she?'
Lisa sighed. 'Probably. She stood in for Martha this afternoon to help me out. She said it was no problem but it obviously was. Sorry, Conor.'
'Hey, don't worry about it. I don't think she was feeling very sociable anyway. I tell you what, have a drink with me and I'll forgive you.'
'Gladly.' Lisa looked back at where Ger and his pals were huddled in the corner, laughing uproariously. 'A bottle of lager, please.'
'So why do you think she didn't want to go out tonight?' Lisa asked after he'd bought her drink and settled back on the stool beside her.
'Well, I suppose it hasn't exactly been an easy week for her.'
'You mean with Neil showing up.'
Conor inclined his head and lifted his pint. 'Cheers.'
'Cheers.' She took a sip. 'It must have been a bit of a shock all right.'
Conor, a man of few words, nodded again.
'I told her she should check him out a bit more before she makes her decision. I mean, how are we to know he's really changed his ways?'
'You knew him before, didn't you?'
Lisa nodded. 'Yeah, we met him at a dance in town. Dee's dad didn't really like strangers in the house and Neil lived on the other side of the city so they used to meet in town or they'd end up hanging out at my house.'
'What was he like?' Conor asked.
Lisa smiled. 'Fun. Dee was a different person when he came along.' Suddenly realizing who she was talking to, Lisa clapped a hand to her mouth. 'Sorry.'
Conor smiled reassuringly. 'Don't be silly.'
'It's just that she was always such a serious kid. I mean, first she loses her mum and then she's left to rattle around that bloody house on her own all day.'
'I thought she spent a lot of time with Pauline?'
'Not at all,' Lisa scoffed. 'Pauline would phone to make sure she'd done her homework or to check that she'd ironed her uniform or to warn her to go to bed early but she only saw her once a week and that was to take her to Mass on Sunday.'
'I didn't know that,' Conor said quietly.
Lisa shrugged. 'Dee doesn't talk much about those days, why would she? Anyway, we met Neil during our last school year and they hit it off straight away. Pauline would have gone mental if she'd known they were dating when she was supposed to be studying for her exams. Once we finished school, though, and the heat was off, we had a great summer until . . .'
'Mr Hewson died.'
Lisa sighed. 'It was awful and, of course, Pauline was as tactless and overbearing as usual.'
'So Neil talked her into going to the US.'
Lisa nodded. 'I thought he was right at the time but I had no idea that they would stay away for so long. Still, if she hadn't gone, Pauline would probably have driven her nuts.'
'And she wouldn't have had Sam.'
'True.'
'Lisa? Lisa, come over here, will you?'
Lisa looked up as Ger beckoned her over and climbed down from her stool with an apologetic smile. 'Sorry, Conor, got to get back. Thanks for the drink.' She reached up to kiss his cheek and then went back to sit with Ger.
Dee was just tidying the kitchen when a rat-tat-tat-tat on the back door made her jump. It was almost eleven o'clock, who the hell would be coming visiting at this hour?
'Dee? It's me, Conor.'
Relieved, she opened the door and stood back to let him in. 'You scared the life out of me.'
'Sorry.' He leaned against the wall and glanced at all the steaming containers on the counter top. 'You've been busy.'
'Yeah, just finished. Want a cuppa or something stronger?'
'Just a coffee, please. I had a couple of pints down the pub.'
'Oh, yeah, anyone interesting there?' Dee put on a kettle for his coffee.
'Lisa and Ger and a very loud crowd from his work.'
'Poor Lisa, she thought they were going out for a meal tonight.'
'Ha! That miserable bastard, she'll be lucky if he bought her a packet of peanuts.'
'Were you talking to them?'
'Just with Lisa for a few minutes. Ger asked me to join them but I dragged myself away. I wanted to check you were okay.'
'Why wouldn't I be?'
He shrugged. 'It's just that we haven't had much of a chance to talk this week.'
'I've been busy,' she said, conscious of the defensive note in her voice.
'Me too,' he said, accepting the mug of coffee from her and sitting down. 'Thanks.'
Dee shot him an apologetic smile. 'Sorry, I haven't been much company lately, have I?'
Conor stretched out his long legs in front of him. 'You've a lot on your mind.'
'Doesn't everyone?'
'We don't all have ex-partners turning up on our doorstep. Have you heard any more from him?'
The question was casual but Dee could hear the concern in his tone. Maybe Lisa was right, maybe he was jealous. The thought comforted Dee. 'He hasn't been in touch but then he said he wouldn't be. He gave me his mobile number so I could call him if or when I was ready.'
'He's playing this perfectly, isn't he?'
Dee frowned. 'Playing?'
'He's sorry, he's reformed, he's rich and he's not pushing you for an answer.' He shrugged. 'Isn't it all a bit too good to be true?'
Definitely jealous, Dee decided. 'Are you saying I shouldn't let him meet Sam?'
He shook his head. 'No, not at all, I'm just saying you should tread carefully.'
'I thought that was exactly what I was doing,' Dee said tightly.
Conor nodded curtly. 'I'm sorry, you're right of course. And I should just mind my own business.' He put his coffee down and stood up.
'That's not what I said; it's not what I meant!' Dee shook her head in frustration. 'I just feel you're judging me. You seem to have decided, firstly, that he's trying to con me and, secondly, that I'm going to be fooled. Well, Conor, he fooled me once and I can promise you he won't do it again. Having said that if there's a chance that he could be a good father to Sam I will do everything I can to make that happen.'
Conor sighed. 'Sorry, I was out of line. Now, it's late and we're both tired. I'll go.'
'Please don't,' Dee said, immediately sorry for lashing out.
'I have an early start in the morning.' He bent his head to kiss her lightly on the lips and headed for the door. 'Don't forget to lock up. Goodnight, Dee.'
'Goodnight.' She closed the door after him, turned the key in the lock and went upstairs to check on Sam. He was out cold, his skin pale in the glow from the nightlight, his hair an untidy cloud around his face. Dee stood looking at him for a few moments before bending to kiss him. Then, gently, she pulled the duvet up over his shoulders and crept out of the room.
She often wondered if it was the same with every parent but she was physically incapable of being near her sleeping child without kissing him and she couldn't walk by him without resting a hand on his hair or shoulder. She had this impulsion to touch him at every opportunity and thankfully he hadn't reached an age yet where he objected.
She dreaded the day when he would shrink from holding her hand or cringe when she kissed him in public; it would be like a knife through the heart. Maybe she was unnaturally close to Sam because it was just the two of them but she would never know for sure. What she did know was that she would do anything for him regardless of the cost to herself.
Conor walked into the café the next morning, ordered coffee and two scones, and spread out his newspaper. He was halfway through his first scone when his father came through from the shop.
'I thought you'd be having your morning break with the chef,' he said, his eyes twinkling.
'Thanks to you I'm not seeing much of the chef at all,' Conor retorted.
'What does it have to do with me?' Ronan scratched his head, puzzled.
'She seems to be cooking around the clock and she said something about working on new dishes for you.'
Ronan frowned. 'I didn't mean to add to her workload, I thought she'd be glad of the extra money.'
'She is, and she's not complaining,' Conor quickly assured him, 'I am. I'm a bit worried about her to be honest, Dad. She's under a lot of pressure at the moment.'
'She has seemed preoccupied lately,' Ronan agreed, 'and a bit stressed.'
'I think she's exhausted,' Conor said. 'She should really take on extra help. I mean, if she came down with flu or something what would you do?'
'I hadn't thought of that,' Ronan admitted.
'If you had a word with her—'
'Me?'
Conor nodded. 'She'd accept that from you because it's business; if I said it she'd think I was interfering.'
'Really?' Ronan looked at his son curiously.
Conor grinned. 'Have a word, Dad, for all of our sakes.'
It was several days and Dee still hadn't mentioned the new dishes that she was supposedly working on so Ronan decided it was as good an excuse as any to drop in and see her. As usual, her kitchen was warm and full of wonderful aromas although now there was also an easel set up in the corner.
'Are you extending your repertoire, or is young Sam starting early?'
Dee followed his gaze and laughed. 'No, worse; I'm posing for Vi.'
Ronan's eyes widened. 'How did she talk you into that?'
'I'm not too sure,' Dee admitted, 'but I'm giving it three days tops and then she's out.'
'We'll see. Vi is a bit like dandruff; relatively harmless but impossible to get rid of.'
Dee laughed. 'You wouldn't dare say that to her face.'
He held up his hands. 'Do I look stupid?'
Dee set a pot of tea and a plate of scones on the table and sat down opposite him.
'Well, what can I do for you, Ronan?'
He shifted uneasily in his chair and crumbled scone on his plate. 'It's about the revised menus we were talking about—'
'I haven't forgotten about them,' she said quickly, 'I just wanted to work out some figures before I got back to you.'
'There's no rush, none at all, in fact.' He shot her a nervous look from under bushy eyebrows. 'I don't think it's such a good idea after all.'
Dee stopped, her cup halfway to her mouth. 'Oh?'
'Yes, well, you see, Better Books is already heavily dependent on you, Dee, and I'm not sure that I should increase that dependence.'
'I see.' Dee stared at him, stunned.
'I mean, if you got sick then the café wouldn't have a lot of food to sell, would it?'
'But I never get sick,' Dee argued.
He smiled kindly. 'There are no guarantees, Dee.'
'But—'
'What you need is an assistant.'
'I don't know about that—'
'Now, hear me out, if you had an assistant – part-time would probably be sufficient – then we would be protected.'
'Protected?'
'I'd never be left high and dry.' He smiled broadly. 'Think of it as an insurance policy.'
Dee winced. 'Right.'