It Started With a Kiss (33 page)

‘Oh that’s easy. The florist says that all the groomsmen are wearing buttonholes with two roses – one white, one red. But the groom has two white roses to match the bride’s bouquet.’

My eyes moved to PK’s chest – and my heart broke into a hundred million shards.

Two white roses
.

In a moment I had both found and lost him forever, the earth-shattering revelation almost stealing my legs from under me. Feeling a strong wave of emotion cresting within, I ducked my head and started to move, desperate to return to the sanctuary of my dressing room. Walking quickly, I didn’t see the raised tree root barely visible among the grass and my foot caught it, causing me to stumble as I came level with him. Immediately, his head jerked round and we came face to face. I saw his pupils widen as he recognised me. He opened his mouth to speak, but I couldn’t face hearing his voice again – not now I knew the truth. I hurried past him as he called ‘Wait!’ behind me. I could hear his steps quickening on the frozen ground behind me and picked up my pace.

‘Will!’ A voice called from the entrance to the marquee, causing his footsteps to skid to a halt. ‘They want you inside for photos.’

‘I’m just … OK, fine, I’m coming.’ I could hear the battle in his voice as I hurried away.

I reached the steps of the dressing room and turned back to see a groomsman flinging an arm around him. ‘You don’t want to go upsetting the bride, today of all days. Wouldn’t be a good start for married life.’

Crushed, defeated and shaking, I watched him take one last look in my direction before disappearing inside. Gasping gulps of cold air into my lungs, I sank down on to the steps, head in hands.

It was no accident that the wedding had been rescheduled for Christmas Eve. Fate itself was at work here: revealing, in the fading moments of the quest, the truth about the man I had spent all year searching for. And, as a parting gift to remind me of my yearlong search, I now knew his name – Will. It seemed strange to finally have that piece of the puzzle in my possession.

My quest had come to an end: the search was over. How fitting that I should find him in the dying moments, only to discover he had just married someone else! The bittersweet reality hit me full on as tears started to fall, my thoughts shaken into a jumble of nonsensical abstracts, swirling around indeterminably inside my head.

Of course he would have had someone else! Perhaps the person calling his name when he had to leave me last Christmas knew this, and the battle I saw in his eyes was that of a tempted man?

It seemed somehow right that I had met him today – at the very moment I had decided to choose Charlie. Under any other circumstances I would have marvelled at the irony  – but not this evening. Scrambling up the steps to the dressing room, I closed the door behind me, my tears falling fast and free.

The hurt I was experiencing, I realised slowly, was painful, but
necessary
– a final chance to mourn the passing of a dream. I stared at my reflection in the mirror and noticed strength in my eyes that I hadn’t seen before. Maybe this was what Jack, Tom and Charlie had spoken about. I might have finally laid my dream of being with Will to rest, but I still had dreams and aspirations of my own, and knowing that I had successfully searched for a whole year until I had found him again, I finally believed wholeheartedly that I could do the same next year with anything I put my mind to. My mother had been wrong: I wasn’t wasting my life with the quest. It had been the making of me.

As I considered it all, an image of the final line of my ‘pros’ list flashed into my mind:

Charlie is here. PK isn’t.

Through it all, Charlie had been there for me, steadily working out his own feelings and never once taking his friendship – which I valued so much – away from me. All PK was, in reality, was a made-up name for a fleeting glimpse of someone I was a complete stranger to. My choice had been made long before I consciously chose it: and now I knew what to do.

Finally calm, I reapplied my make-up and, after a final check, walked out to join the others.

I didn’t see Will as we performed, but then I wasn’t looking for him. Not any more. Instead, I focused my attention on giving the brightest, most impressive performance I could, the confidence of my decision strengthening my bones and lighting up my smile.

Filled with guests, the marquee was alive with elegant activity. Everything seemed to sparkle as eight hundred guests chatted, laughed and tapped their feet along to the music. The atmosphere was happy and festive, the combination of Christmas Eve and a romantic wedding clearly having the desired effect on all present.

Meanwhile, the venue’s staff worked stealthily, deftly moving tables to open up the large dance floor directly in front of the stage in readiness for the evening’s dancing.

Halfway through ‘Dream a Little Dream of Me’, I caught Charlie’s eye and he smiled at me. He looked utterly gorgeous in his black shirt and trousers, his eyes alive with the thrill of performing in this amazing place on this enchanting night.

By the time our background music set came to an end, a crowd of around a hundred people had gathered on the dance floor, applauding appreciatively.

Sid’s voice came through our monitors. ‘The crowd loves you, guys! If you’re good to go, you might as well launch into your first set – that should tie in perfectly with the evening buffet.’

Jack gave the thumbs-up, and Sid spoke into the front-of-house microphone.

‘Ladies and gentlemen, you have been enjoying your band for this evening – the very excellent Pinstripes. Put your hands together please to show your appreciation.’

The smiling guests obliged.

‘And now, they will lead us into the evening’s festivities proper,’ Sid continued. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, let’s welcome, once more: The Pinstripes!’

Charlie yelled a countdown and Wren slid her hand up the neck of her bass guitar as the opening bars of ‘Love Train’ rang out into the marquee.

With each song we performed, more guests gathered on the dance floor, gradually filling it with a mass of laugh ing, dancing bodies under the giant crystal chandeliers suspended from the roof; and my heart rate increased as the moment I had chosen to share with Charlie moved ever closer.

Wren was delighted when her vocally acrobatic rendition of ‘Ain’t Nobody’ drew such tumultuous applause from the guests that we had to wait until it died down before beginning the next song.

‘I
love
these people!’ she whispered to me, her eyes brimming with emotion at their reaction. ‘I want to take them all home with me!’

As we began the intro to the ‘Lovely Day/Valerie’ medley that would end our first set, I looked back at Charlie. His smile was full of affection, spurring me on to make the decision my heart was now set upon.

Six minutes later the final bars rang out, and Wren thanked the crowd for their response. ‘You’ve been fantastic so far, so thank you. We’ll see you back on the dance floor in an hour or so. Enjoy your evening!’

She turned back to us and shrieked. ‘How
cool
was that?’

Jack’s grin said it all. ‘We sound awesome. And that audience – wow!’

Sophie grabbed my arm. ‘Did you see Victoria Beckham dancing? And Dizzee Rascal! I’m going to try to take some photos for my mum – she’ll never believe it!’

Sid appeared at the edge of the stage and beckoned us over. ‘Guys, you’re phenomenal. Best event band I’ve heard in a while – and I don’t say that lightly. Listen, my company is doing a big corporate gig in March next year. Don’t suppose you’d be up for it? It’ll be good money, I promise. Music industry people will be there and it’s where we pick up a lot of business each year.’

Jack shook his hand. ‘Mate, we’d love to. Have a word with our manager and we’ll book it in.’

Sid grinned. ‘Excellent. Grab some food and go and relax – I’ll send a runner to fetch you for set two.’

Tom needed no further invitation to pursue food, jumping down from the stage and disappearing through the crowd. Wren and Sophie followed suit as Jack joined Charlie and me at the edge of the stage. ‘Great gig. You coming for something to eat?’

‘In a minute,’ Charlie said, his arm involuntarily brushing against mine. ‘We just need to sort something out.’

‘Cool. Don’t be too long. If Tom has his way the buffet tables will be cleared out in five minutes flat!’ He jumped down and followed the others.

I smiled at Charlie, my heart thumping wildly. ‘Come on. There’s something I want to show you.’

Syon Park looked magical when we emerged from the marquee into the frosty night, the floodlights in the trees casting rainbow-coloured sparkles across the iced lawns. Charlie surveyed the scene, his eyes drinking in all the details.

Suddenly self-conscious, I folded my arms as Charlie pushed his hands into his pockets, and I led him to the green ironwork bench, set between the two ancient beech trees. We sat down and I could feel my breathing quicken as the butterflies returned to dance in my stomach.

It was time to say what my heart wanted me to.

‘You were right when you said you thought I’d known all along who I wanted to be with. I’ve just been working everything through – and I feel like I’ve learned so much along the way.’ I paused, suppressing a sudden nervous urge to giggle. ‘But I know what I want. I want to be with you, Charlie.’

A huge smile spread across his face as he cradled my hands in his. ‘Oh, Rom …’

‘I want to be with you,’ I said again, feeling a rush of emotion as I finally made my decision in the midst of the darkened garden, with Charlie’s warm hands caressing mine as our bodies moved closer. He reached up to stroke my cheek – as he had in the forest of the Chase a month ago – and I closed my eyes as our lips met for the first time …

And then …

… then …

… NOTHING.

My eyes flew open as our kiss ended – and Charlie was wearing the exact same expression as me.

‘Did you feel anything?’

I shook my head, bewildered. ‘Nothing. You?’

‘No.’ He scanned my face for answers. ‘I’m so sorry.’

‘Me too. But I was
so sure
…’

He held up his hands. ‘I
know
, me too.’

We sat in silence on the bench, the sounds of the evening reception in full swing floating from the marquee across the floodlit parkland. Charlie gave a long sigh, his breath sparkling in the light of the gold floodlight by the tree beside him.

‘I wanted it to be you, Rom. For weeks now – no, months, probably. It all made so much sense: I mean, you saying you loved me last year, the way we always end up organising things together – the “Old Folks” thing. And you’re beautiful, Romily, absolutely stunningly beautiful. So why …?’

I squeezed his hand. ‘I’ve no idea. I was so sure you were the one for me – even earlier tonight when I saw …’ I hesitated as I realised what I was about to say.

‘Saw what?’ His eyes narrowed and a wry smile appeared. ‘Come on, we just kissed – I think that qualifies us for sharing deeper things.’

I laughed and shook my head. Tonight was fast becoming the strangest night of my life. Telling Charlie the truth wouldn’t make it any worse. ‘The guy – from last Christmas – he’s at this wedding.’

Charlie’s face was a picture. ‘You’re kidding me! What did he say to you?’

‘He didn’t. Or rather, I didn’t hang around long enough to find out.’

His expression clouded. ‘How come?’

I raised my eyes to the canopy of stars high above us. ‘Because this is his wedding.’

Charlie winced. ‘Ah. Not so good.’

‘Nope.’

‘Oh, Rom.’ He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and I leaned my head against the warmth of his chest. ‘Poor you. And then
this
with us – are you OK?’

Surprisingly, I was. I felt as if a crushing weight had been removed from my chest – it was like I could breathe fully for the first time in months. The past few weeks spent debating whether to choose Charlie or PK had been exhausting – and I realised now that for most of that time I had felt dreadful, as if I was somehow a bad person for taking my time to choose. Now I knew that Will was married and Charlie was – well, just a
really
good friend – I could finally focus on moving into the next year of my life with a renewed sense of excitement about the possibilities that lay ahead of me.

‘I think I’ll be fine. You?’

‘Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m kind of relieved. I was so worried I was losing my best friend. You have no idea how much I agonised over everything. I think – no, I know – I was just incredibly jealous that some bloke had stolen your heart when you’d said it was mine. It came down to sheer bloody-mindedness at the end of the day. But I meant what I said: you are beautiful. I’m just so sorry I couldn’t be the man you wanted me to be.’

I sat up. ‘Charlie, you’ve always been the man I wanted you to be. I love you to bits and you know I always will. How were we to know the chemistry would be missing?’

‘True. So you’re OK?’

I nodded. ‘I’m fine.’

We hugged – both relieved. And it felt good. Charlie stood. ‘Right, I’m going to see if the locusts have left any food. Coming?’

‘No, I think I’ll stay here a little while. I need to compose myself for our show-stopping second set. Don’t want those millionaires losing interest in us, do we?’

‘Too right. I’ll see you in a bit then.’

I watched him leave, feeling my body relax. Closing my eyes, I inhaled the frosty air and let the maelstrom within me finally subside.
What a year, Romily Parker
, I said to myself.
How are you going to top that one?

Maybe Integral would commission more songs from Jack and I – the thought of which thrilled me intensely. Maybe I would encourage Auntie Mags to start a website for Tea and Sympathy – Uncle Dudley and I had been joking about it with her for months – to prescribe motherly advice and excellent, spookily appropriate recipes to her charges from my blog. After all, they would need someone to turn to when they discovered the real conclusion of my virtually-famous quest.

And perhaps I might see if Mick and his new lady friend knew any hunky single thirty-somethings.
Onwards and upwards, Romily …

‘You ran away.’

I jumped as the voice spoke beside me, opening my eyes to find Will sitting where Charlie had been moments before.

‘You ran away before I had a chance to speak to you. You are who I think you are, aren’t you?’

‘I …’ Words failed me.

‘From the Christmas Market – you crashed into the toy stall. Last year? Only I remember your hair was down and you were wearing a red coat.’

‘And now you’re at a wedding,’ I managed to blurt out, rising to my feet.

He frowned. ‘Yes. And so are you. The wedding singer, in fact. Amazing voice, by the way. Stunning.’

‘Um – thanks … Look, I really have to get back …’

‘No you don’t. Not for half an hour. They’re only just serving dessert.’

His eyes never left mine – the same wide wonder I had seen last Christmas. But what was the point in subjecting myself to this when I already knew what he was going to tell me?

‘Please – would you sit down? I’ve been planning what I would say should I ever meet you again and … No matter how crazy you think I am, please just let me say it?’

I sank back on to the iron seat. ‘Where did you go? Last year, I mean. Why did you have to leave?’

He sighed. ‘My brother had just been told about Issie’s accident and the doctors were predicting the worst. She’s the bride today – so I expect you know about the struggle she’s had this year since the accident? I had to be with her – we had no choice. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.’

Of course, it made sense now. Anyone in that situation would have done exactly the same.

I looked down at my silver platform heels amid the glistening frosted grass. ‘I understand. I’m sorry about your wife. Still, it’s great she was well enough to enjoy today.’

‘It’s—’

‘I’m sorry I ran away this evening. It was just a shock, you know, seeing you again after all the search and everything.’

I could feel his eyes boring into me. Looking up, I could see complete confusion scrawled all over his face. ‘Sorry? What search?’

I stared at him again, disorientated by the sudden turn of events. ‘Erm – I don’t – sorry, what was the question?’

‘You’ve been searching – for me?’ he asked carefully.

Oh boy
. This was going to be embarrassing. ‘Er – yes. It started out as just a bit of a challenge, to see if I could spend a year following my heart. The only trouble was, it kind of assumed a life of its own and just grew and grew, into a blog and a viral article that almost everyone read, and then the journalist who wrote the article realised what she’d done and wrote something different which sent more people to my blog and my aunt opened a tea shop where people she met on my blog now hang out …’

At that moment, I wasn’t sure which was worse: having to admit my quest to the startled subject of it, or seeing the extremely confused expression on his unbelievably handsome face.

‘A blog? And a tea shop …?’ His eyes grew wider still. ‘Hang on, you’re not the girl from the
It Started With a Kiss
blog, are you?’

Busted
. I hung my head. ‘Yes. I am.’

He ran a hand through his hair. ‘Issie’s kept going on about that blog for weeks. She said she’d talked a lot with the girl who wrote it and it really inspired her to be positive when she was going through physio last month, trying to walk again. She kept sending me the link when she was in hospital – she was so adamant that I should read it and I couldn’t understand why. I thought it was just one of her passing fads, so I never looked it up.’

Hang on a minute: Issie?

‘What’s her username?’

‘Ysobabe8. It’s a bit lame and I’m always making fun of it.’

Oh great
. The focus of my quest was receiving links to my site from his wife-to-be, who I had been chatting with for months – and liked immensely. Of all my followers, Ysobabe8 was the one I had felt the most connection with, and her constant encouragement had helped me immensely during the closing months of the quest. This was just getting better and better. ‘Probably just as well you didn’t follow the link, considering.’

‘Considering what? That she’d unwittingly found and befriended the girl I haven’t been able to get out of my head all year?’

‘No!’ This was getting beyond a joke. ‘That she was about to
marry
you!’

He shook his head in disbelief – obviously the truth hurt.

It was definitely time to leave now. ‘I’m sorry. I really should get going …’

‘Wait. You think Issie’s my wife? That this is
my
wedding?’

‘I know it is.’

‘I don’t see how you can.’

I groaned and pointed at his buttonhole flowers. ‘Two white roses for the groom. One white and one red for everyone else.’

‘Is it?’ He looked down at his buttonhole. ‘So
that’s
why it looked bigger than everyone else’s! Man, I am such a div – Issie’s going to cry laughing when she finds out.’ He saw my expression. ‘Issie’s not my wife. She’s my
sister
.’

‘What? But I thought …’

‘I know what you thought. But you thought wrong. Issie’s just married my best mate, Dan – I’m his best man. He was supposed to be meeting my brother and me in the Christmas Market last year but then he was told about Issie’s accident and that’s when he called my brother.’

My head was awash with everything that had happened tonight. Tears started to flood into my eyes and I looked away.

‘But I’d just bumped into you – and I didn’t want to leave,’ he added, his voice softer than silk. ‘I didn’t have time to say anything, or give you my number – I didn’t even ask your name.’

I sniffed. ‘It’s Romily.’

He held out his hand. ‘Hi, Romily, I’m Will.’

I placed my hand in his – and instantly I was back to when he had first held it, all the fire and fury of the moment stealing my breath and fuelling my insistent heart. Slowly, he lifted my hand and I closed my eyes as I felt the brush of his lips across my fingers.

‘I’ve played this moment over and over in my head,’ he whispered, the waves of his breath passing over my hand as he spoke, ‘and I never thought I’d get the chance to say it.’

‘So tell me now.’ I opened my eyes and looked deep into his, the floodlights from the surrounding trees reflected in them as the Christmas lights had been over a year before.

‘I never believed in love at first sight – until then,’ Will said. ‘But I looked into your eyes and there it was. Like the rest of my life was staring back at me. I just
knew
you, even though …’

‘Even though you didn’t?’ I completely understood what  he was saying – because I had felt the exact same certainty.

He let my hand go and gently placed his hands on my shoulders. ‘This is totally crazy – we know nothing about each other, except what we saw last year and what we’ve said tonight. But it’s like you’ve been with me, all year, through Issie’s recovery and the scare she gave us all in the summer … and on towards today. Meeting you that day was the only bright point in what became the most traumatic time of my life. You’ve been the face in my dreams, the one that got away. I need to know if we have a chance together. Because I don’t think it’s a coincidence we’re both here today. Fate has brought us together twice: do you think maybe we should take the hint?’

It was as if he was saying the very things that had buzzed about my head all through the quest. It was utterly ridiculous – but then, isn’t love like that when you first begin? What if the year I’d spent searching for him was preparing me for this step: to take his hand and jump into the unknown?

This was my chance to put into practice everything I had learned – and finally follow my heart.

Reaching out, heart dizzy with emotion, I cradled his face in my hands and kissed him. And it was unlike anything I had ever experienced before, as if everything in the universe had come together at once for one almighty, cataclysmic event that would change everything …

In his arms, I felt more alive – more myself – than I thought was possible. Here was where I belonged. And although I knew nothing about him, it was like our hearts had been introduced a long, long time ago.

As the kiss ended, and we gazed at each other in the multi-hued glow of the park, we knew everything we needed to know.

Taking my hand, he stood and pulled me to him.

‘We should get back inside.’

‘We should.’ I stopped and looked at the man I’d searched my whole life to find. ‘Are you ready for this?’

He smiled. ‘Lead on.’