Isle of Sensuality (18 page)

Jake stormed out of the building, straight into his car. He started the engine, shifted into first, and sped out of the company car park. When he reached the main road, he slowed down. The fury which was brought on by being reminded about Sarah ebbed and Jake started to feel guilt trickle through his veins. Was Tom right? Was he scared?

Ever since he was a child, he’d excelled at everything he put his mind to. If he failed to bring the company back from the heap of crap it was in, his brothers would lose their livelihood and it would all be on Jake. His gut twisted.

The only time in his life he failed had cost him his son. Jake’s knuckles turned white on the steering wheel as a stab of pain sliced his scarred heart in two. It had been so long since he’d thought about the baby he never got the chance to meet. He’d buried the memories to mask the pain which barely dulled with time. He’d spent so many years being careful not to end up in the same predicament. Jake didn’t think he could handle being told he was going to be a father for it to all be ripped away from him again.

* * * *

Jake had a feeling all the whiskey in the world wouldn’t help take the pain away. He set the second shot he’d poured on the granite counter untouched. What he needed was to find an outlet to vent the frustration, find something to ease the tide of emotions crashing in on him. Jake just needed to breathe.

Debating whether a run might help clear his head, he poured the glass of malt down the sink.
Couldn’t hurt
, Jake thought and made his way through a kitchen too large for a bachelor pad into an equally grand hallway. When he left the house he’d grown up in, Jake had missed the house terribly so had bought a similar home, on the same street in fact, when he’d returned from the states after filming his first movie.

Only now, he realized, it wasn’t just the family home he missed. It was the family. Jake turned to the stairs, the pressure of grief almost crushed him, but he batted it away. Damn his brothers. Memories of Sarah and the son she’d killed before he got the chance to meet him were the last thing Jake needed. Especially now, when he was missing Caitlyn like crazy.

He was halfway up the first flight of hardwood stairs when the doorbell chimed. Jake paused and turned to frown down at the door. The inner entrance was wide open, but he couldn’t see anyone through the glass framing the black door on either side.

Company was the last thing he needed right now, especially if it was Tom and Sam. Still, slamming the door in either of their faces might help vent some of the anger and grief which ate at him. He made his way down the stairs, taking them two at a time, and then slowed his pace as he made his way across the vestibule.

The bell chimed again and Jake pictured Tom in his mind’s eye, fuming at the other side, wondering what the hell was taking Jake so long to answer. Jake smiled as he debated whether to let Tom wait some more. Still, it would be better to see his brother’s agitation rather than imagine it.

Jake swung the door wide. His heart skipped several beats and the breath whooshed out of his lungs as if he’d been sucker punched. While his brain was trying to comprehend what his eyes were taking in, his heart restarted double time and all the pain faded away, euphoria taking its place.

“Caitlyn.”

Unable to contain his happiness at her sudden arrival, he scooped her up into his arms and hugged her against his chest. The smell of wild berries floated up from the riot of postbox-red curls tickling his chin. Arousal hit him harder than the sight of her had.

Caitlyn stiffened. She pushed against his chest and his happiness was replaced with caution. Jake placed her back on the floor and looked her over properly. Her creamy skin had turned a worrying shade of gray and her angular face appeared hollow. Those petite curves were hidden beneath a large woolen sweater, but she’d felt thinner when he held her. Too thin.

“Are you ill?”

“No. Can I come in?” Caitlyn’s voice was emotionless and a chill ran down his spine.

Standing to the side, he allowed her entry. Averting his gaze, she entered and paused once she’d passed the threshold. For the first time in years, fear ran through him. Something was wrong. Hell,
wrong
wasn’t even the word for it. Where had the fiery siren he’d met three months ago gone?

Turning to him, she said, “We need to talk.”

* * * *

Jake eyed her for a moment. Lines of concern creased his brow and Caitlyn’s stomach swirled with unease. For the last day, she’d planned exactly how she’d tell him she was having his baby and had ran over every one of his responses in her head. The plan was, she’d keep her emotional distance and not let him see how much his reaction—whatever it may be—affected her. She’d let him make his choice about what he wanted to do and not let him know how desperately she loved him.

But the moment he saw her and that elated smile spread wide, her heart had almost burst with love. The next thing she knew, she was in his arms and it took every last ounce of strength she held not to fall into his embrace. But she couldn’t. Jake wanted his freedom and didn’t want to love. She wouldn’t force responsibility or love on him. If he wanted, he could have both, but she loved him too much to make him choose.

They reached a large living area centered by a Victorian style fireplace. Three cream leather sofas faced the focal point of the room with a large oak coffee table nestled in the middle. She was stunned to see the mantle was filled with picture frames of three young boys and an older couple. The urge to get a closer look almost had her stepping forward, but Caitlyn stopped herself at the last minute. She wasn’t there to nose through Jake’s things. She was there to tell him he was going to be a father.

“Caitlyn, take a seat.” Jake gestured to one of the sofas.

Caitlyn obliged and sunk into the soft, creamy leather. Jake pulled a matching footstool out and slid it under her feet. He put his palm against her forehead, his eyes narrowed with concern. The hormones which had lain dormant since she left him in Rio zinged back to life under his touch.

“Are you sure you’re not sick?”

“I’m fine,” Caitlyn lied. Her heart was racing and a tingle of awareness skittered down her spine.

“You’re cold. I’ll be back in a minute.”

Before she could say a word, Jake was off the sofa and then walked across to the bay window. He opened the lid and pulled out a large, thick blanket. Once he returned, he tucked it around Caitlyn’s shoulders. Just like he’d done when she’d drowned. Caitlyn felt tears well in her eyes and she blinked rapidly, trying to dispel them.

“Thank you,” she said.

Jake looked like he was going to speak again, but she had to tell him now, or else she might break down into a hormonal crybaby.

“Jake, I’m pregnant.”

Jake’s whole expression froze and his dark eyes went blank. For four counts of her rapid heartbeats he remained that way and her blood crept through her veins like cold sludge.

“What did you say?” Jake’s voice was empty.

Anxiety churned Caitlyn’s stomach. “I’m pregnant. You’re going to be a father.”

Jake rose from the sofa and began pacing across the thick, dark carpet before her. “You can’t be. We…we used protection.”

His pacing didn’t slow. Jake ran his hands through his blond waves, making his hair stand out in different directions.

“I know.” Caitlyn’s stomach felt like it had dropped to her feet. He wasn’t going to believe her. That hadn’t been something she’d considered. “Jake, I’ve done a test and been to see my doctor. He confirmed it. I’m pregnant.”

He stopped dead and closed his eyes. Tension tightened his jaw and lined his wide shoulders. Caitlyn rose, a sudden need to offer him comfort in her arms overpowered her.

Jake opened his eyes as she stepped closer. “Caitlyn, sit down. You need to rest.”

Relief crashed through her fragile body. He
did
believe her. “Okay.” She obeyed, too stunned to object to the demand in his tone.

Jake sat next to her but didn’t make a move to touch her. The knot in her stomach twisted. With his elbows on his knees and head in his hands, he drew in a deep breath. “I won’t let you have an abortion.”

Chapter 13

“Why on earth would you think I’d do that?”

Caitlyn’s angry retort festered in his stomach. Jake knew if he was thinking clearly, he would never have said the words. But he wasn’t thinking clearly. His worst nightmare was finding out he would get another chance to be a father and have it ripped away from him. The raging emotions crashing through his body were so severe and acute. He couldn’t put a name to any of them. Maybe Tom was right. Maybe it was fear driving him.

Though the world seemed to be spinning out of his control, there was one thing Jake did know. He wouldn’t make the same mistakes he had in the past. He turned to face Caitlyn. Fury had inflamed her pale complexion with shades of red. Her eyes flashed green fire and through all the emotions playing havoc inside him, arousal flared in his groin. What the hell was wrong with him? Lust was the last thing he should feel at a moment like this.

“If we start organizing things now, we should be able to have the wedding before you begin to show,” Jake suggested. Now that the initial shock had cleared, he was able to think about what was important. “You should move in straight away. I’ll call my GP’s surgery and have you registered. I’ll ask him to come out and see you today.”

“What?” Caitlyn asked, confusion replaced her anger.

“You don’t look like you’re getting enough nutrients. The doctor will be able to let you know what kind of vitamins you should be taking.” Jake rose from the sofa. He felt better already now that he was taking control of the situation.

He’d left Sarah to deal with everything the last time, too freaked out to help with any of it. Now he was different. Jake wasn’t a scared young man anymore. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and slid his finger over the screen to bring up the contacts.

Caitlyn grabbed his free hand. “Wait! I’m not talking about the doctor, Jake. What wedding are you talking about?”

Hell. He’d made an arse of this. Jake slipped his phone back into the pocket of his jeans. “Our wedding, of course.” What did she’d think he’d meant?

Caitlyn’s face turned chalk white. “We’re not having a wedding.”

An uneasy feeling settled in Jake’s gut. “I don’t need a fanfare. We can keep it small, get married in a registry office if you prefer.”

“I’m not marrying you.” Caitlyn’s eyes glistened and her voice broke. She cleared her throat and continued. “It’s the twenty-first century. We don’t need to get married to have a child.”

Jake glared at her. “I’m not willing to be a part-time father, Caitlyn. I want to see my child everyday and live under the same roof. I want the mother of my child to share our surname.”

And most of all, he wanted to make sure his child was safe and that he would be a part of his son or daughter’s life. Not that he thought Caitlyn would do what Sarah did, but at the time, he’d never considered Sarah would have had an abortion. No, he wasn’t letting Caitlyn, or his child, out of his sight.

* * * *

Caitlyn straightened her spine and held her head high even though anxiety was crushing in on her. There was no way she was going to be bullied into marriage, not for the reasons he gave. They were ludicrous! Who married for the sake of a child in this day and age? If she was going to marry, it would be for love—something Jake had said he was incapable of giving her.

But Caitlyn suspected there was more to his sudden proposal than he was letting on. After all, he had jumped straight in and told her he wouldn’t allow her to have an abortion. Now that her anger had faded, her curiosity flared. Had someone hurt Jake in the past to make him avoid responsibility like the plague? Although, if that was the case, why was he asking her to marry him?

“I understand.” Or at least she wanted to. “But I can’t marry you for those reasons, Jake.” After all, he was the one who told her not to settle for anything less than pure, unadulterated love. “However, I will agree to stay in London for now.”

Ice skittered down her spine at the thought of spending longer here than necessary, but she had to do this. Jake wanted to be a father to their child, and she wouldn’t stop him. She couldn’t. All Caitlyn had to do was figure out what had happened to him so she could try to reason with him.

It would be risky. For starters, she loved him and knew she had to be careful. Leaving him had broken her heart. She’d need to find a way to get over him and fast. Having a baby with Jake would only heighten her pain when he looked at their child with love and not her.

Plus, who knew what her father would do if he discovered her whereabouts? If he decided to go to the police, Caitlyn and their unborn baby could end up thrown in prison and her career as an actress would be ruined.

Jake didn’t look pleased. His brow creased and his nostrils flared. “Fine. We’ll talk about it in a few days when you’re feeling better. I’m going to call a doctor and then I’ll show you to your room. Where’s your luggage?”

Another jolt of relief hit her. At least he didn’t expect her to share his bed. God knew how she’d cope then. “At the bed-and-breakfast around the corner.”

Jake nodded. “We’ll get your luggage after I phone the doctor.”

Caitlyn leaned back against the soft leather and closed her eyes. She sent a silent prayer of thanks to the heavens. Today could have gone much, much worse. She’d prepared herself for Jake not wanting anything to do with their child. Now all she had to worry about was getting the daft idea of marriage out of his head, and then find out why he’d reacted the way he did in the first place.

* * * *

“Do you think you’ll be able to keep this down?” Jake asked as he entered her room.

In his hands was a tray topped with a glass of orange juice, toast, and an omelet. Caitlyn’s stomach growled.

She nodded. “I feel like I could eat a horse.”

For the first time in days, she’d woken up without the usual urgent nausea in her stomach. In fact, since Caitlyn had arrived a few days ago and the doctor had given her vitamins, she’d been feeling more like her old self. It was only because of Jake’s incessant worrying that she was still bed bound. But after today, she was going to change that.