Intrusion (17 page)

Our mission was to take down an Al-Qaeda terrorist hiding in a village near the Afghan-Iranian border. It should’ve been simple. We’d executed this same scenario dozens of times. Except I…”

“What?”

She looked at him with those deep amber eyes of hers and though they were void of judgment, he had to turn away.

“Have you ever wanted something so badly you’d do anything to get it?”

“Hasn’t everyone?” Her gentle response wound around his heart and squeezed.

“I wanted Abu al Islamiyah’s head on a fucking platter, and nothing was more important than that victory. Not caution, certainly not the rest of my team.” He curled his hands into fists. “I saw the win and I jumped the gun. The Captain hadn’t given the order, but I couldn’t wait.” He jammed his eyes shut. “They should’ve just let me get my head blown off. But Ben…honor was everything to him and he fell in line right behind me. The rest of the team scrambled after us and before I knew it all hell had broken loose. Mortar fire fell all around us. We were pushed back. Cornered. The assholes used my screw up to gain the upper hand. I put the entire team in jeopardy—and escaped with only a shattered knee.”

***

Audra stared at Cam’s rigid back, tears stinging her eyes. “And Ben?”

Even though she was pretty sure she knew the answer, she couldn’t stop herself from asking.

“Ben…” He threw his head back. “God damn it. He took a round in the chest. For me. And as the rest of my teammates dragged me away, all I could think about was how we didn’t get al Islamiyah. We’d failed. I have to live with that.”

A ragged breath shuddered through him, the sound cutting through her heart like a thin blade. So that’s why his knee was such a sore subject. It wasn’t the physical pain, but the emotional one.

She went to him, laid her palm on his back. “It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t kill him. The terrorists are responsible. They pulled the trigger. Not you.”

He whirled around as if she’d poked him instead. “Tell that to his family.” The lantern flame flickered in the sheen of moisture in his eyes. “In my head I know that, but in my heart…” He swallowed hard, pain and self-loathing fleeing his tortured face. His shoulders cocked back, his jaw going rigid. “So. Now it’s your turn.”

She frowned. “My turn?”

“Hey, I’ve just spilled my guts. Aren’t you going to reciprocate?”

“I—” Panic fluttered in her stomach.

Bad memories assaulted her—her mother walking away without a backward glance, the vicious dog at the homeless shelter. Loneliness. Fear. Intolerable foster homes. Where would she even begin? And once she opened that painful chapter of her life, she wouldn’t be able to close it.

She’d been there before. Laid herself bare in the hopes of finding solace and contentment in someone else’s arms. It hadn’t worked and she’d been left with a hole in her heart the size of Meteor Crater that had taken years to close.

Never again.

Cam’s gray eyes blazed, the force of his gaze like a thousand eyes centered on her, waiting, for something she couldn’t give. She took a step forward, and pressed her mouth to his.

She’d only meant to distract him, but his lips immediately yielded under hers and his hands pushed their way through her hair to cup the back of her head. He speared his tongue into her mouth where it glided against hers. He licked and explored her mouth with a thorough urgency that made her ache for more.

His hands slid down her back to cup her behind. Warmth spread from the hot kiss, into her cheeks and down her body, pooling low in her belly. He thrust her against his erection. She gasped into his mouth and snaked her arms around his neck. Desire burst inside her, little atomic explosions that fired along her skin. She rocked into him, trying to cool the burn he’d ignited. But it only made her crave more.

Inhaling his earthy scent, she plastered herself against him, her breasts meeting his hard chest and making her nipples tingle. He groaned and the low, sexy sound of it caused her heart to do a little flip-flop and her legs to tremble.

He scooped her into his strong arms and carried her into the bedroom where he shoved aside the covers and laid her in the middle of the bed. His lips slid down her jaw and he murmured her name in her ear. She shivered, basking in the feel of his tongue along the sensitive spot behind her right ear.

“Cameron,” she breathed.

His mouth curved against her skin. “I’m gonna let that one slide.”

He toyed with the hem of her t-shirt for several agonizing seconds before his fingers skimmed beneath it and touched her bare stomach. She sucked in a breath and he chuckled.

His hand continued its upward climb until it slid over her breast; his breath whooshed into her ear, and this time a breezy laugh bubbled up from her throat.

He shot her a glittering gaze. “That’s the first time I’ve heard you laugh.”

She bit her lip as he flicked a thumb over her nipple. “Probably the last, too.”

“Not if I have anything to say about it.”

He leaned up, yanked his shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor. Her mouth went dry at the sight of his bare chest, her palms itching to feel him. She indulged the temptation and slid her hands along the hard planes of his stomach and up to his pecs.

His muscles flexed beneath her touch. He grasped the bottom of her shirt and tugged it off her in one smooth move.

“Look at you.” His throat contracted in one long swallow. He ran a finger between her breasts, down her belly to the elastic waistband of her sweats where he dipped a teasing caress underneath it. “I could feast on you all day and never get enough.”

The husky timbre of his voice brought tears to her eyes. Why did he have to be so…larger than life? She threaded her fingers into his hair and dragged him to her. He dipped his head and touched his mouth to her breast.

“Oh, God…” She squeezed her eyes shut.

He ran his tongue over her nipple, making her arch off the bed. His hand slipped beneath her sweats to cover her panties. She bucked against his palm and he gave her what she wanted, slipping a finger inside the scrap of lace to tease her.

Pleasure danced through her and she let her knees fall open. Cam stroked deeper, his mouth playing over her breasts and lingering at the hollow of her throat before assaulting her lips with wet, electric kisses that made her whole body go weak. The need to touch him overwhelmed her and she reached down and cupped his erection through his cotton shorts. He sucked in a rough breath.

She’d rattled him. A thrill shot through her, urging her on. She slipped her hand inside his shorts and wrapped her fingers around him. His head shot up, his whole body tensing.

His hand froze on her. “What the hell am I doing?”

“Exactly what I want you to do.” She met his turbulent eyes, her heart pounding, her breath coming in choppy waves. “Don’t stop, Cam.”

He looked away and even in the dim lighting she could see his jaw clench, his difficulty swallowing. “God help me, I don’t want to. My body is on fire right now and screaming for release.” He withdrew his hand and sat up, moving to the edge of the bed as if he was afraid to stick too close to her.

She blinked. “What’s the matter?”

“I want to know you. Where did you grow up? What school did you go to? Where did you get that sexy little scar beneath your right eye? What made you want to be a scientist?”

His peppered questions slammed into her, robbing her of the rosy warm glow that had flushed her body moments earlier. She scrambled backward across the bed. Out of his reach.

A band of steel wrapped around her heart. “Why are you asking me all of this?”

He stood up with a harsh laugh. His hungry gaze swept down her body. “If you don’t know then there’s no reason to continue.”

“I don’t know any of those things about you.” She pushed the statement past a thick ball of emotion that had lodged in her throat.

“The difference is, all you have to do is ask.”

She pressed her lips together. Ask? And open up a dialogue that wouldn’t end until he’d forced her to relive every painful moment of her past? She might as well just give him an engraved invitation to hurt her.

Silence stretched between them. She wanted to say something that would break his rigid control and bring him back to her side. Something that would entice him to put his mouth on her again. To caress her body until she felt safe and desirable, and so damn good that she couldn’t overanalyze his motivations. But the only things he wanted to hear were the very things she couldn’t bear to tell him.

“Cam, I—can’t we just—”

She reached out a trembling hand, but instead of taking it he just looked down at her one last time with eyes as hard as chipped Vanadium and strode from the room.

She sank into the bed and squeezed her eyes shut. Curling onto her side, she tried to block Cam’s rejection from finding a target. But she was too late. It had already lodged deep in her heart.

***

Cam leaned against the wall outside of the bedroom and fought to bring his breathing back to a normal rhythm. Audra had devoured him like a gigantic piece of chocolate cake, holding back nothing—except the part of herself he most wanted to know.

God, he burned for her, but her refusal to let him into her life set his teeth on edge. As soon as he thought he’d succeeded in getting her to drop her defenses, she built them up, thicker than before and he had to start all over again. But like a complicated code that took time to break, he’d find the right key eventually. He couldn’t let himself fail and lose his one shot at discovering if Audra might be...

The one.

It sounded cheesy, like the heavens would open up and a chorus of angels would proclaim her ‘the one’ specifically meant for him. Maybe he was a sap, but he’d always maintained the strong belief that the perfect person was out there—he just didn’t think he’d get lucky enough to find her.

Some might call him impulsive, and yeah, he reacted on gut instinct a hell of a lot more than logic. He knew what he wanted, and went after it. And this time, he wanted Audra. Wanted the chance to see if he could find the same intimate connection Keith had with Grace.

Love without limits. Did such a thing exist? Keith seemed to think so, and Cam had had a good laugh at his friend’s expense. But now the idea didn’t seem the least bit funny.

He turned back to the open doorway and found Audra curled in the middle of the bed. Guilt released acid into his stomach. He’d pushed her too hard—all or nothing.

Hell, he’d sounded just like his old man, spouting off ultimatums and withdrawing his favor when she didn’t respond the way he wanted. It was unfortunate that being a dick ran in his genes; he had to work extra hard to overcome it.

He stepped into the room. “Hey.”

Audra curled in tighter on her side and didn’t respond.

He walked to the bed, skimmed a hand over her bare back. “Turn on your stomach.”

She buried her face in the sheets. “Why?”

“Just…do it.” There he went again, commanding instead of asking. “Please?”

She slid onto her stomach and he ran his thumb along her spine. Goosebumps prickled her skin, and he set about obliterating them, rubbing his warm hands up and down her back.

A sigh escaped her lips. “What are you doing?”

He gently dug his fingers into her tense muscles. “Apologizing. The only way I know how.”

Chapter Thirteen

What was wrong with her?

Cam had stood there—open, vulnerable—hers for the taking. All she’d had to do was answer a few measly questions about her past, and she hadn’t been able to do it.

Audra leaned over the table, the morning sun streaming across Cam’s laptop where Coburn Industries’ blueprints were displayed on screen. She’d fallen asleep last night to the seductive pressure of Cam’s hands on her naked back, his rhythmic, even breathing in her ear. He hadn’t asked her to talk, and she hadn’t volunteered. She’d just taken what he offered and tried to ignore the small part of her that prodded her to trust Cam with her most painful memories.

But even in the bright light of day, she couldn’t completely silence that beast. It poked at her, reminding her of Cam’s harsh face when he’d refused to make love to her. She’d wanted him—the intensity of it still shocked her—but on her terms.

Didn’t he realize that the last thing she needed was someone who tried to get into her head?
Into her heart.
If she let him make himself at home there he’d only redecorate the place before he left.

The price for emotional intimacy was far too high. She had to make that clear now. Before irreparable damage was done. She bowed her head and tried to focus on the straight lines and symbols on the electronic blueprint, but they blurred in her brain. She gripped the laptop and tugged it towards her. Warm breath caressed her neck and Cam’s arms came around her to point at a two-inch square in the left-hand corner of the screen.

She hadn’t even heard his approach.

“As far as I can tell, Coburn’s lab is probably right about here. But we’re going to need a much closer look.”

She nodded, holding herself rigid in his arms to avoid contact with his body. Fat chance. He leaned in further and her eyes slid closed, his distinct sandalwood scent wrapping around her like a cloak. The air died in her lungs.

God, she had a definite love-hate war spinning a hurricane inside her. She loved being with Cam, simply enjoying his company and his sharp wit. She loved the feel of his strong body, the way he touched her and caressed her with his eyes. But she hated how he pushed her; never content to let her draw the boundaries between them.

She opened her eyes and shoved back, drawing a figurative line in the sand. Her fingers tapped the edge of the screen. “How did you get this so quickly?”

He shrugged. “The Goddesses of Information always smile down on me.”

“Goddesses, huh?” She shook her head, unable to hide her smile at the Cam-ism. “Of course they’d have to be Goddesses.”

“Information is sexy. Sensual. Don’t tell me you’ve never felt it.” His voice washed over her like warm rain. “Come on, you’re one of the smartest women I’ve ever met. You must understand the orgasmic power of knowledge.”