In Darkness Reborn (23 page)

He had good reasons for keeping his secrets, and she could understand his torn loyalties, but how could they share any kind of relationship if she couldn't trust him to tell her the simple truth about who and what he was?

She drew a shuddering breath. To give him some credit, he had tried to warn her off, but she'd refused to listen. Why hadn't she pressed him harder for information about his world and why he'd left it?

She nursed her anger. If she let herself waver for an instant, she'd start siding with him. Granted, she'd never been involved in such an intense relationship before, but he was in a strange world with strange customs. There had to be so much about his new life that he found bewildering.

But values like trust and honesty had to cross boundaries, and if she couldn't have that with the man she loved, then all they had left was a relationship built on hormones. Her eyes wandered toward her bedroom door. Those had been some pretty powerful hormones, but they weren't enough, not by a long shot.

She tucked the afghan around her feet, feeling chilled through to her soul. It was going to be a long, lonely night, and tomorrow wasn't looking any better. Resolutely closing her eyes, she concentrated on unknotting the tangle of nerves twitching in her stomach.

Why had she never noticed how uncomfortable this couch was? No matter which way she turned, she couldn't find a position that allowed her any comfort. Maybe she'd be better off sleeping on the twin bed in the guestroom. She'd have to clear off the boxes of Christmas decorations she'd never gotten around to putting in the attic, but that wouldn't take long.

Before she could get that far, though, the phone rang, shrill and piercing. With her heart in her throat, she counted off the rings until her answering machine would pick up. If it was Penn calling, she'd answer. Her throat felt like ten miles of bad road, but she'd convince him she was catching a cold so he wouldn't come charging over to check on her. If it was Devlin calling her back, she'd tell him to back off and leave her alone before disconnecting.

But no, of course it wasn't either of them. Barak's voice echoed in the hollow emptiness of her heart. The rough sound of his words built up pressure inside of her until she thought her head would explode. It was such a temptation to pick up the phone, to let him explain, to grasp at whatever excuses he might offer up to soothe her pain.

But even though she was not a Paladin, she found her own warrior's strength and held back. Or maybe she was a coward for not answering. She heard his words and then the sound of his ragged breath as he waited for her to respond.

When she didn't, he sighed, a wealth of regret and pain in the sound. “Lacey, I am sorry. I wish it could have been different—that I could have been different.”

Another pause stretched on until her resolve threatened to snap before he finally said, “I hope that someday you will look back at…at what we…and remember some of it without regret. Good-bye.”

Then he hung up and she cried.

T
hat's her.”

Ben pointed at the Sebastian woman before ducking back out of sight. “When will you make the grab?”

His two companions looked thoroughly disgusted. The taller of the two answered, “We can snatch her right now if you want. Save having to follow her around.”

The muscle he'd been provided with weren't at all impressed with him, but Ben didn't care, as long as they did their job. At the end of the day, he was the one with the money. Either they did what he wanted or they didn't get paid.

Although considering the number of prison tattoos they sported, he doubted he'd have the balls to not fork over the money. Their eyes were dead, almost reptilian in appearance. If he weren't so desperate, he might have felt sorry for Lacey Sebastian.

“Give me thirty minutes before you do the job, and take her to where I showed you on the map. I'll join you there after I get off work. It's important that I follow my usual routine.”

One of his new buddies snickered. “Yeah, wouldn't want anyone to think you got your hands dirty, would we? That's okay. Jack and me, we'll take care of it.”

Jack nodded. “Mind if we entertain ourselves a little once we've got her stashed?”

When Ben realized what the man was really asking, he said, “No! That's not all right. She's not to be harmed, you understand me?”

Not that there was much he could do to stop them. A cold wind blew through him, chilling him to the bone. It was bad enough he was plotting against a Paladin by threatening the man's sister. But these thugs wanting to hurt Lacey Sebastian just because they could…It didn't bear thinking about. He swallowed heavily, trying to soothe the churning in his stomach.

“You pick her up, take her to the tunnel, and wait for me. That's it. Nothing more.”

Jack shrugged. “Fine. Nothing more.” Shifting his toothpick to the other side of his mouth, he smiled. “But it's going to cost you more. I hate to be bored.”

“Fine.” Ben peeled off five more twenties from the stack in his hip pocket. “I'll sweeten the pot some more once I see that Dr. Sebastian is unharmed.”

There, he'd done all he could to keep the woman safe. Good thing his conscience had atrophied after years of lying and cheating to keep up with the mountain of debts piled up from his gambling. But you didn't have to have self-respect to have a strong sense of self-protection. If it came down to Lacey Sebastian or his own skin, there was no contest.

Too bad about her, though.

Barak stared at the blank wall in front of him.

Lacey obviously regretted their involvement. He was sorry that she'd been hurt, but he couldn't regret one minute that he'd spent in her company. Maybe he could have trusted her with his secrets, but then both of them would have had the stress of living with that knowledge. It would have ripped her apart, torn between her love for Barak and her love for her brother and the others like him.

A knock at the door dragged him back to the present.

He picked up his sword and turned off the lights, knowing it had to be one of the Paladins. The barrier was weakening again. The energy had been humming along with the occasional touch of cacophony, a sure sign that it was about to go down.

Cullen Finley was raising his hand to knock again when Barak opened the door. He stepped back, allowing Barak room to step outside and pull the door closed behind him.

“Devlin asked me to pick you up. It's my turn to stand guard at the weak spot.”

“I appreciate the ride.”

Barak followed Cullen down the steps and out to a bright red sports car. He paused to study the vehicle, liking its design and the way it screamed power and speed. Glancing at Cullen, he tried to align what he knew of the Paladin with the image the car created.

They didn't exactly fit together. Cullen had a reputation for being the quiet, thoughtful Paladin. He was the one everyone turned to when they needed a level-headed opinion. Yet he was a warrior, too. Perhaps the car wasn't such a surprise.

Cullen shuffled his feet a bit. “I just bought it. What do you think?”

Barak walked around the car, nodding at what he saw. “I envy you the joy of it, Cullen.”

Cullen's mouth quirked up in a sneaky smile. “Devlin said I should pick you up and bring you to the barrier. He didn't say what route I had to take. What do you say we go the long way?”

“That would be an honor,” Barak said, meaning it.

If this was to be his last day in Seattle, he would like the chance to say good-bye in style. He sat in the passenger seat and leaned back, ready to enjoy the ride.

The tunnel was crowded. He'd expected Devlin and Trahern, maybe, but Cullen had walked down with him, along with D.J. and Lonzo.

When they heard him coming, Devlin and Trahern stopped talking and watched his approach. Did they think he'd change his mind about this mission? No, if his limited knowledge of human emotions was right, that was regret he was seeing in their expressions.

Devlin immediately took charge. “I still don't like this idea, Barak. There has to be a way to get her to come here.”

Even if there was, Barak wouldn't risk his sister in this world. The transition had been difficult enough for him, and he'd left his home willingly. She would hate being trapped here.

“It is simpler this way.” He would deliver the message and surrender to whatever fate awaited him.

Trahern loomed closer. “Don't do anything heroic or stupid.” His tone clearly said that the two were interchangeable.

“Yes, sir.” Barak allowed himself a small smile.

The others stood around, waiting for something to happen. Barak wished they would all just leave. If his sister was waiting for him, she wouldn't take it well to see him surrounded by her enemies.

Devlin held out an envelope. “I wrote out what we know, assuming someone over there will be able to translate it into your language. If the barrier doesn't seem like it's going to stay down long enough for you to explain in person, leave the envelope and haul your ass back home.”

Home.
The word burned warmly in Barak's heart.

“Thank you, Devlin. For everything. Now get out of here and let me do my job.”

The big Paladin frowned, then held out his hand. Barak accepted the gesture from Devlin. Trahern met his gaze and nodded. D.J. gave Barak a friendly whack on the shoulder as he and Lonzo followed them out, leaving only Cullen. The two of them watched in silence until the others were out of sight.

“You don't need to wait with me.” Barak leaned against the tunnel wall in a futile attempt to look relaxed. His guts were in knots over what was to come and what he would lose, and what he'd already lost.

He used to watch the barrier from his world for hours on end, loving the play of color and light. But here, it was different, perhaps because in his world the barrier was viewed as the threshold to a better place. Going back, he would be facing the same pain that had driven him away in the first place.

Cullen sank down on the floor, clearly not interested in leaving. “Devlin didn't want you to be alone. He's not happy that this is happening.”

“And you?”

The quiet Paladin shrugged. “From what I can tell, we've always been at war with each other. Until you, we never doubted that was the way it should be. It's unsettling.”

“I'm no different than those who die on your swords.” He might as well sit, too. Hours, even days, might pass before the barrier failed. Closing his eyes, he reached with his senses, delving deep into the stone surrounding them. No, it wouldn't be long.

Cullen shook his head. “I don't buy that, Barak. You might see it that way, but there's no way we would. We've seen too many crazy bastards come charging across with murder in their eyes.”

“But according to your own scientists, you and I have common genes. In the history of your world, some of your people must have accepted my kind among them.” He'd hoped to be one more example of that.

Conversation coasted to a stop, neither of them in the mood for idle chitchat while they waited. After a bit, Cullen pulled out a deck of cards and started shuffling them time after time. The soft whirring noise the cards made seemed to echo up and down the tunnel.

“So this female that you're to meet. Tell me more about her.” Cullen kept his eyes firmly on the cards, his tone of voice carefully neutral.

All of which made Barak suspicious. “Why? What would you know about her?”

Shuffle, shuffle.
Then the Paladin laid the cards out in a pattern that only made sense to him. When Cullen had them arranged to his liking, he finally looked up.

“I think I may have seen her once.” His hand strayed up to touch a small scar on the side of his face. “Not too long before you came across, there was heavy fighting farther south from here. Lonzo was injured to the point we almost lost him. Anyway, cleanup was underway when a female and some males came charging down the tunnel. Devlin took on the males, but the female challenged me.” He glanced at Barak. “Damn near killed me, too. Whoever she was, she's a helluva fighter.”

“I didn't know she'd ever crossed over. Did you drive her back?” Gods above, as good as his sister was, these Paladins were even better. She could have died!

“Actually, no. I think she and her companions were caught out on this side and were trying to get back. As soon as the barrier blinked off again, they charged back home. I only saw her that one time.”

He actually sounded disappointed. Barak fought the urge to tell the Paladin that his sister was off limits to the likes of him. Who was he to talk? Penn Sebastian felt the same way about Barak's interest in Lacey, but Barak hadn't been inclined to listen.

The sound of the elevator opening down the tunnel brought both of them back up to their feet, swords drawn. Chances were that one of the Paladins had forgotten something, but neither Cullen nor Barak was about to risk being too complacent. Or maybe Devlin had sent someone down with food for them. It was the sort of thing he might do.

But no. Barak jerked his head in Cullen's direction. “Were you expecting Penn?”

Cullen looked as puzzled by the wounded Paladin's appearance as Barak. “He's still on restricted duty—no tunnels. He looks pissed about something, but that's normal for him these days.”

Barak had a bad feeling about this. Over the course of their workouts, Penn had become more civil to him. Judging by the expression on his face now, they were back to their old roles of hated enemies. He braced himself for the imminent attack and waited, his hand on the pommel of his sword.

Penn aimed straight for him, his hands clenched in white-knuckled fists. “You bastard Other! What have you done with Lacey?”

Barak froze, allowing Penn to get within inches of him before he could think of anything to say. There were a lot of things he'd done with Lacey, but none of them were anything he was willing to discuss with Penn.

Cullen intervened, pushing his shoulder between Barak and Penn. “Back off, Penn. Barak's here under Bane's orders, which is more than I can say about you.”

“Fuck off, Finley. I want to know what this bastard has done with my sister.” Penn gave Cullen a hard shove, but the Paladin came boiling right back at him.

“Damn it, Sebastian! Get out of here and quit being such an asshole! Even if you've got a beef with Barak, take it up with Devlin. You keep screwing around down here, you'll be lucky if you don't get an armload of toxins shoved in your arm.” There was little to be seen of Cullen's normally calm demeanor.

Penn shoved Cullen again. “
You
go take it up with Devlin. And while you're at it, ask him about how he foisted this bastard Other off on my sister to keep him away from his precious Handler! And now Lacey's missing. Somebody's kidnapped her, and all they'll tell me is some bullshit about blue stones from across the barrier.”

He lunged again, knocking Cullen to the ground on his way to get Barak in a chokehold. Barak was too stunned by Penn's ranting to put up any resistance.

Despite the pressure on his throat, he managed to gasp, “Who has Lacey, Penn? And what does that have to do with the blue stones?”

“You tell me! Judging by the shape her kitchen is in, she put up a fight, but she's gone. All they left was a note telling me that if I didn't find out who was trying to interfere with the flow of blue stones from across the barrier, they'll kill Lacey.”

His eyes glittered with hatred. “Since you're the only bastard I know from across the barrier, I figure you're involved up to your freaky eyeballs. Now,
where is my sister?
”

“Damn it, Penn, he can't answer you when he can't breathe!” Cullen managed to peel one of Penn's hands off Barak's throat.

Barak took a desperate gasp of air and choked out, “I would never harm your sister. I love her too much.”