In any ordinary life (In any oridnary Book 1) (17 page)

   As she walked into the room no one recognised the plain girl from the garage and as she made her way over to James who by this time was clasping at drinks he didn’t again recognise her. “Sorry bit of queue.” “Where did you get that from?” James looked Jeanie up and down and suddenly felt eyes descending on them from every corner of the room. “Ivy made it for me why do I not look right.” Jeanie’s self conscious nature arose again and as she looked at the front of her dress James knocked back his drink.

“Nope nothing wrong with it just never seen you look so. I can’t think of any other word……but sexual, attractive, I don’t know. People dancing lets go.”

   James stuttered as he finished Jeanie tended to have that affect on him but this time instead of replying with a sarcastic comment she giggled and for a moment forgot about what she needed to tell him.

   James placed his hand on Jeanie’s waist and pulled her close, “Sexual nothing else came to mind.” James moved his hand down Jeanie’s back, and bent in close, “You threw me off guard and yes you look amazing.”

   The compliment made Jeanie feel special, people were only used to the oil filled dungaree’s and baggy jumpers not a figure hugging cleavage bearing dress which fit perfectly. 

   As they made there way to the large round tables for dinner Jeanie’s anxiety began to build as she knew one dinner wasn’t going to make the problem disappear no matter how good she felt.

   James couldn’t take his hands off her. He held her close all the way through the dinner and refused to let her go after the speeches and as the General made his way over to the table Jeanie’s urge to be sick increased.

   Jeanie lent forward and rested her chin on her clasped hands trying to dispel the nausea.

“Good evening everyone, James isn’t it I have heard a lot about your sir.” The General held out his hand, “And who is this delightful creature.”

“I believe you too are already acquainted sir this is my wife, Jeanie Rutherford Watson, “

“Jeanie good gracious girl so this is what you look like out of oil and grease,” Jeanie nodded her head as the nausea felt like a weight around her throat and every time Jeanie tried to speak it would arise again.

   Excusing herself she made her way to the bathroom and as she sat in the cubicle she clicked her shoes together not knowing what to do for the best. As the chains flushed in sequence Jeanie’s thoughts washed away in time with the flushes.

   Standing at the large mirror she smoothed her dress flat over her stomach and cringed at the thought of telling James the truth. As she placed Rose’s lipstick back in her purse her head faced the floor as the guilt, pain and anguish filled her heart.

   Trying to lift herself once more John stood in front her,” Told him yet.” Jeanie shook her head and tried to walk past. As he grabbed her arm he seemed desperate, “We are having a baby together Jeanie that’s not something you can’t walk away from.”

   As he let go the General made his way to the door, “John can I have a word.” Jeanie sighed with relief but he was right she couldn’t walk away from it as much as she tried James needed to know and as the music started she couldn’t bear the guilt any longer.

“May I have the pleasure Mrs Watson?” Jeanie trembled in his grasp and as she looked back John was still at least occupied with the General.

“Yes as long as we can talk later.” James led Jeanie back to the floor and as the music played he removed a couple of Jeanie’s hair pins and her hair fell onto her shoulders and curled around her neck he smiled

“There you are you don’t seem real without oil and grease.”

   Jeanie smiled and placed her hand on his arm, she didn’t want the moment to end. Jeanie felt his breath on her neck as he held her tightly, the kiss behind her ear made her tremble.

“Jeanie you’re shaking is everything ok? What is it that you need to talk to me about?” Feeling a tap on his shoulder John stood behind waiting patiently for his turn. “James, gentleman’s choice and my turn I believe.”

   John stood to the side of him as James clenched his fists

“Not in here it’s ok.” James moved over and handed John his wife, turning he spat with intent, “5 minutes Sir.”

   Jeanie’s heart leaped out of her chest as John placed his hands around her waist. John could feel every muscle tremble uncontrollably but as she shook in his arms her voice still was confident.

“What do you want?”

“You and my baby. Jeanie you know what I want you are carrying my child and I want to make this work.”

“I don’t want you John, this baby was a mistake just like you, but unlike you I live up to my responsibilities. I married James because there is one thing you would never do John.”

“What can he give you that I can’t?” Jeanie moved away and started to walk from the dance floor, “Love.” 

   John stood alone. Watching her walk away was unbearable and he longed for her to realise how much he wanted the baby,

   Jeanie grabbed James’s hand, “Come on let’s go I need to speak to you.” As they made there way down the staircase Jeanie could see John was still in tow. Clinging to James hand they started to make there way down the front steps.

“You can’t hide it forever Jeanie.” Jeanie couldn’t help but reply she needed time and he was denying her that privilege, “Not now John if you feel anything for me not now.” John stumbled outside onto the large veranda, “He needs to know.”

“What is it…..what do I need to know” She shook from head to toe and in her visible trembling her new husband placed his hands in hers.

“We talked two weeks ago about my mistake.” James still hold of her hand squoze it tight. Looking back at John and at Jeanie he knew.

“You slept with him after everything you said… ”

“James please.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? Doesn’t matter I don’t care remember the past is the past that’s what you said?” John took another drink and walked down the steps towards Jeanie.

“There’s something else though isn’t there Jeanie.”

“What does he mean?” Jeanie stepped away pulling her coat around her there was no point delaying it any further. “I’m pregnant

“No NO NO this can’t be happening. Not now. Not NOW. .How does he know Jeanie? How does he know before me?”

“The doctor I went to last week came to the wedding and told me in the kitchen. John was stood at the back door I tried to tell you James in the garden but the bracelet and I just didn’t know…”

   James sat on the steps with his head in his hands, “It might be ours Jeanie…….what about our night.”

“James look at me you’re a doctor you know as well as I” Tears freely flowed from his eyes and his evident despair cried out to Jeanie’s heart.

” Jea... No this can’t be happening; this really can’t be happening this is our wedding day.”

“She’s having my baby James your wife is pregnant by me. I love her James and there is nothing you can do about It.!” James stood up and ran over to where he was standing.

“You’re a fucking piece of shit Lieutenant you’ve fucked up your life her life and my life. I hope your happy as this was supposed to be the best night of my life. Look at her she’s one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever met and you just fucked up everything.”

Jeanie stood unable to comprehend the magnitude of the situation and John threw his glass into the verge at the side of the steps she knew more was yet to come.

“Whether you like it or not I fucked her and she enjoyed it. Now she’s mine and that is my child so no matter what you do will ever take that away.”

“If I was you I’d crawl back into that fucking cunt hole and die alone.”

   John wasn’t threatened by James’s actions, he actually revelled in his disappointment and anger,” That baby is mine and you can’t do a fucking thing about it.” James turned to walk away but instead threw John down the steps. As John regained composure he stood up and hit him back.

“You had a fucking lucky shot before doctor, “ 

   As the pair began to fall into full scale war fare Jeanie screamed at the both of them, “I’m sorry to you both, ok this isn’t going to change anything. This is my fault. I brought this on both of you and it’s me that needs to end it.” James threw John to the ground picking up his jacket he took hold of Jeanie’s hand and started to walk towards the main road.

“James let go. James please let go.”

“Why have you got something else you need to tell because my hearts already been ripped out so I suggest you might as well do it now and save me any more heartache.”

“Just let me leave. I’m no good for either of you. You can get today annulled and you can start fresh. I want you too. Please James just let me go.”

“No Jeanie.”  Silence descended on the couple and as they hit the path outside James let go of Jeanie’s hand and quickened his pace.

“James I need you to talk to me.” James stopped in his tracks, his anger was evident, “When did it happen?”

“Don’t do this it doesn’t matter...” James placed his hands on his hips, his voice breaking every time he spoke. Jeanie felt disgusted with herself and worst of all she had let him down.

“Jeanie it matter’s to me please just tell me.”

“About 8 weeks ago,” James lifted his head knowing exactly when his own indiscretion happened.

“Just after I slept with Liz. Where?”

“James….please,” Her tears pierced every sentence. Loosing his temper James shouted ferociously waiting to hear an answer.

”Fuck sake Jeanie Where…”Jeanie continued trying not to sob.

“The hotel on the front. James when I found out this afternoon I needed to tell you I just froze, I didn’t and don’t want to lose you but I understand if you need to go. I’m ashamed of what I have done but I have to live with the consequences.” James listened to her pain wanting to hold her but not knowing how to.

“Do you love him Jeanie? I need to know……we got married today and it’s been the most incredible day and when I saw you at the alter. You’re beautiful and smart and I don’t know you make me feel something I’ve never felt before. But I can’t stand the thought of someone touching you and now a baby. Do you love him?” Tears were streaming down Jeanie’s cheeks, “No it was a mistake the biggest mistake of my life….”

“I just don’t understand was this to get back at me.”

“I made a mistake I was confused and angry with you and I made an error of judgement. I have regretted my decision. What do you want me to say? I found out I was pregnant today I don’t love him James…..”

   James thought about his own infidelity and how easy it was for him to walk away. Catching hold of her hand he understood her guilt, her pain “We’ve both made mistakes and I can’t judge anyone. Things have happened between both of us except this one resulted in you pregnant. You’re still my wife and I still love you…..we will just get through it together”

   Jeanie held his hand tightly as they walked back to the cottage. He held the door and wished everybody a good evening and escorted his new wife upstairs.

   They stood at opposite ends if the room and as James started to undress Jeanie starred out of the window.

   The complete incomprehensive nature of the events felt unreal, however the sickness and pain where very real and unlike James Jeanie found it hard to live with she had done.

“I will take the floor if you want the bed.” James slipped off his shirt and turned around, “You’re my wife we both sleep in the same bed.” Jeanie started to cry again, “I just feel….” James walked over holding her tight he ached with her pain and guilt, “Eight weeks ago, you found me having sex with a nurse in the same cubicle I had professed my love to you. John took advantage, but instead of running home you spent the night and regretted your actions. Do you want me to tell you how many times I have done that very same thing I don’t care Jea.

   Things haven’t been easy for either of us and it’s going to take time for both of us to come to terms with this…we just…we just have to figure out together what we are going to do with John. I blame him for this not you. “Tears didn’t stop flowing and the more James reassured her more upset Jeanie became.

“Maybe it would be better if you leave.” she stood up and walked over to the window looking out into the garden she remembered how happy they had been for the few moments before she knew. “I don’t think its right you stay with me. I’m married to you and pregnant by someone else it’s not right.”  James put his head in his hands and stroked his fingers through his thick dark hair, “I’m staying Jeanie.”

He stroked her neck and back trying to reassure her, “I know how you feel. I’ve been feeling guilty and anxious for months after what I did. I would be a hypocrite to walk away now. I love you too much and I meant what I said before in the garden, I’m not willing to loose you.”

   As Jeanie turned around she felt a lump appear in her throat, this was supposed to have been the happiest day of there lives but instead it had been marred by John Stanton again.

   James undid the blue dress and as he run his fingers down her spine she fought to hold back her tears.

“You looked amazing tonight.”

“Thank you.”

   Standing behind the screen Jeanie held up the night dress her sisters had bought. Feeling the need to hide it she placed it back in the box and instead put her old pyjama’s and vest on.