Her eyes blinked open, wide and unfocused. She was breathing in short, shallow pants. Her eyelids fluttered and she swayed. Quickly, he switched places with her on the couch, forcing her head between her knees. He kneeled on the floor in front of her. “Breathe with me,” he said softly, inhaling and exhaling in steady breaths.
She continued to gasp.
“Breathe,” he commanded, embracing her. “You can do it. Just focus on me.”
He held her close, stroking her hair and murmuring words of reassurance. Gradually, her breathing slowed to an even rhythm. When he was pretty sure she could sit up without passing out, he shifted to sit next to her on the couch and pulled her into his lap. He ignored the brush of bare bodies and tightened his arms around her. “What was all that about?”
She looked up at him, dark eyes filled with uncertainty. Her breasts were still bare and her dress had ridden up to the top of her thighs. He brushed a kiss across her forehead and settled the straps of her dress back on her shoulders. As Johnny had suggested at dinner, he imagined a force field between him and Crystal, separating their emotions. A sob broke from her throat and two fat tears ran down her face. She buried her face in his chest and clung.
“That’s it—we’re getting out of here.” He shifted his grip to balance her weight and pushed to his feet, carrying her. When he reached the door, he found Destiny blocking it.
“Too much for her?” she asked.
“I don’t know, but she’s not having a good time. We’re leaving.”
Destiny’s eyes narrowed and he returned her glare. “Open the damn door. You have my word that I will not do anything to hurt her, and I will take her wherever she wants to go.”
Destiny didn’t budge. “Don’t make me go through you,” he growled.
“It’s okay.” Crystal’s broken whisper made him clutch her tighter.
Destiny eased back and opened the door. “This is your last chance, buddy.”
“Noted.” He stepped past her.
Crystal kept her face buried in Ryan’s neck, glad when Johnny and Mac let them leave without asking any questions. Ryan set her on her feet to unlock the car, keeping one arm around her waist. “I’m all right now,” she said, as he helped her into the car and buckled her seatbelt.
He pulled out of the parking lot and drove, heading for the river.
She said nothing, although she wondered why he wasn’t heading for his hotel or asking her where she lived. He reached over to take her hand and held it in his lap. His fingers were warm as he caressed her hand, making her sigh.
“Sorry about that,” she said.
“Not a problem.”
He didn’t seem inclined to say more, so she went back to her thoughts, edging closer to something she felt but didn’t understand. Upstairs, she had completely locked up, unable to think or move. The desires of the crowd had called to her, making her emotions rise, a terrifying swell of lust mixed with loneliness. She wanted nothing more than to reach out to Ryan—but she was afraid.
A sick feeling shifted in her stomach. She hadn’t been channeling his feelings. His emotions hadn’t scared her. She had been fighting her own desire to take him in, to trust him, to let go of her barriers, the barriers that kept her whole, safe and sane…and alone.
“You sure you’re all right?” he asked when she sighed again.
“Yeah, just thinking.”
A few minutes later, they pulled into a driveway.
“Where are we?” she asked.
“I rented a house. It seemed silly to spend more than a couple nights in a hotel.” He pressed a button to open the garage door. He parked and turned off the motor, but he didn’t get out of the car. Instead, he turned to her. “Give me a chance, Crystal.”
Emotion throbbed beneath the words and she followed it, lifting her hand to stroke his cheek. The desire, anger and loneliness were still there, but she felt resistance. Was he learning to block her? Is that why he felt different tonight? She pushed deeper—and found something more heartbreaking than loneliness.
A hope that matched her own. “You scare me to death,” she whispered, with a soft, helpless laugh.
He leaned to brush her lips with his. “I’m not trying to scare you,” he said. “I just want to be close to you. I need to be near you, and I’ll take you on any terms you choose.” He rained soft kisses over her face. “Spend another night with me, Crystal.”
Another night. Oh, yes, she wanted to stay with him. She yearned for him. She couldn’t keep him on the outside and it was pointless to run or hide, as the last few weeks had proved. She couldn’t hide from herself, and he wouldn’t leave her alone. Eventually he’d leave—she had no illusions about that. But she’d run out of ideas to hasten the process. He didn’t scare easily, and it was becoming impossible to ignore him.
Her heart began to thud as she considered another option—the truth. He’d run like hell if she told him exactly how much he had meant to her. Yes, the truth was a much better weapon than her lies. It would drive him away far more effectively than any circumstance she could contrive. And if it didn’t? Doubt made her head spin again.
She’d left a message on her Get In Touch voicemail saying she was on vacation, but she couldn’t vacation indefinitely. She needed to get back to work. Buzz might be building because of her inaccessibility, but that wouldn’t last forever. The only call she had answered this week was Darla’s, and she was so grateful Darla was willing to give her another chance. If Ryan wasn’t gone by then…
She’d tried—and failed—to reach past the tangle of her own emotions several times during the past two weeks. Each time she opened her heart enough to feel, she got caught in a web of confusion. She needed Ryan to leave her alone, and if the truth was the only way to make it happen, so be it.
She unbuckled her seatbelt. “Let’s go in the house and get comfortable.”
His eyes gleamed. “Does comfortable mean naked?”
“That too,” she said.
Chapter Ten
Ryan handed her a glass of wine and sat next to her on the couch. The house had been a real find, fully furnished, just the right size and right on the Niagara River. He’d immediately felt at home and hoped the owners were considering his offer to buy it, especially now that he saw Crystal gazing around the room with frank approval.
She leaned closer to him and took his hand. It was the first time she had willingly touched him since they had spent the night together, and it made his heart slam in his chest. Was she finally going to open up to him?
She took a sip of her wine and set the glass on the coffee table. He did the same, watching her. She seemed different, on edge, yet also in her element. The play of her fingers in his was deliberately arousing and he waited to see what she would do next. A slow, sensual smile curved her lips and he didn’t resist when she pulled him down for a kiss.
Control
, he reminded himself.
Her mouth opened and her tongue sought his, inviting him to play. He closed his eyes and let her set the pace, focusing entirely on the brush of her lips, the touch of her tongue and the rhythm of her warm breath. An unhurried sense of expectancy built between them, and he enjoyed that too. He wasn’t in a rush. They had all night.
He wrapped his hand in her hair, delighted by the way her long curls spooled around his wrist. He cupped her face and worshipped her mouth with his. Stroking lower, he felt her pulse beat hard and fast against his palm—too hard and fast.
He opened his eyes, concerned, and saw her eyes were wide and dark. Her pupils were dilated, but it wasn’t arousal that made her breath come fast in her throat. “Crystal? Please tell me what’s bothering you.”
She cleared her throat and met his gaze steadily, allaying his fear that she was having another panic attack. “I’m not really an orgy kind of girl.”
She sounded so wistful that he smiled, in spite of his worry. “Just you and me here. Nobody else.”
“I know, but it was always you and me, that’s what I’m trying to tell you.” She reached for her wineglass and took a sip. He resisted the urge to pull her closer, afraid she’d stop talking if he made any sudden moves. “I became an empath after I spent the night with you, Ryan.”
He felt the breath whoosh out of his lungs. She gave him an understanding nod. “I know it’s hard to believe, but that’s what happened. I woke up to a different world. You left town and when you didn’t call, I went looking for someone who might have your number. I walked into the frat party and ended up on the ping-pong table. It wasn’t something I would have chosen.”
The agony in her eyes made his chest hurt. “I’m so sorry, Crystal. I don’t care about the past. If I hadn’t been so young, I wouldn’t have cared then, either—”
“No, you had every right to be upset. If the situation had been reversed, I would have been mad as hell to find you screwing a bunch of sorority sisters, but I couldn’t control myself. It was weeks before I could shield my emotions. I missed you desperately and the Alpha Sig brothers…” She trailed off, took another sip of wine. “Every time I let a man touch me, all I could see, hear and feel…was you. That’s why I stopped sleeping with men. Don’t get me wrong—I like women, but I’ve never felt the way I felt with you that night. Alisa was the closest I ever came to falling in love again, but I gave her to Mark.”
“I wish you had called me,” he said, aching.
“I wish you hadn’t lost your cell phone, but that doesn’t change the past. It doesn’t change the present, either. I can’t block you, Ryan. Even with my shield up, you get in. I appreciate the effort you are taking to control your emotions, but it doesn’t make it any easier to control mine. I need distance to function. I have to stay balanced to run my business, and I can’t do that with you around.”
One step forward, two steps back. She’d opened up to him, then manufactured one more reason they couldn’t be together. He took a long drink of wine and focused on the one thing she had said that gave him hope. Again. She said Alisa was the closest she ever came to falling in love
again
. So that meant she had been in love with him—and if he had any say in the matter, she would be again.
“Fine,” he said, deciding to change his tactic. “Do you need to work tonight?”
Slowly, she shook her head.
He reached for her wineglass and set it on the table. Sticking around had gotten him exactly nowhere with her. Well, he’d gained another night, but judging from the haunted look in her eyes, she’d be gone come morning. He wanted more than one night—he wanted all of them. Staying in Norton hadn’t won her heart, so maybe it was time to leave for a while. He had hoped controlling his emotions would give Crystal enough space, but maybe Johnny was right. Perhaps he should leave her alone for a while.
Where would he go? Back to California? He wasn’t sure he could bear to be that far away from her. After all, she’d only asked him to go away, not leave the state.
Whether he left town or not, he’d make sure Crystal thought he was leaving for good. Maybe the thought of his permanent absence would shock her into missing him enough to make room for him in her heart. This time he wouldn’t lose his cell phone and he knew damn well she had his number by now. Would she use it?
God, he hoped so.
He pulled her into his lap, settling her astride him. If he had to leave her, he was damn well going to make this a night they would both remember. Thanks to his frequent stops at Come Again, he had a dozen new toys to use for inspiration.
“You promised me another night,” he reminded her.
Crystal gasped as Ryan shifted beneath her. His tongue traced a line of fire across the top of her breasts. Raw, aching hunger consumed her. When his hand crept up her thigh and his thumb teased the edge of her panties, she pressed forward, arching her back, wordlessly begging him to deepen the touch. She wanted him to take her, touch her, fill the emptiness inside her.
She had told him the truth and he still wanted to spend the night with her. Why wasn’t he running? She gripped his shoulders and tightened her thighs around his hips, rocking against him.
Desire. Loneliness. Hope.
He met her impatience with cool force. His thumb slid inside her body, stroking a fast rhythm. His other hand pressed into her belly. Pleasure rolled from her center in tight waves and she began to spiral, higher and higher.
He took her up fast, and she whimpered as her body broke around him. She abandoned herself to sensation, allowing his hands to carry her through the sharp peaks. When the last ripple of pleasure drifted through her, she opened her eyes, bewildered by the need that still racked her body.
He stared back at her calmly.
She leaned down to kiss him, and he responded with his mouth, but she felt no echo of emotion. The man was a fast learner, too fast. She couldn’t block him, but apparently he’d learned to block her. She didn’t like it. Had she come to count on his desire for her? She’d ponder that irony later. Right now, she wanted more from him. How long could he hold her at bay?
She slid out of his lap and reached for the zipper of her chain mail dress. It fell heavily to the floor. She watched his throat work as he looked at her bare breasts. That was more like it. She hooked her thumbs in the top of her thong and slowly pushed it down over her hips. She left her shoes on, smiling as she remembered his fantasy from their night in the hotel.