Honeymoon To Die For (42 page)

He called over to her, “I’m going to set up a perimeter. Stay in the house.”  No response from the kitchen, so he added, “Please.”

For that he got a hand wave dismissing him.

She kept throwing one wall up after another. He’d let her build all she wanted for now, but by the end of the day he would invade her emotional fortress.

They weren’t parting ways until they’d gotten a couple of things straight. First he had to get her to understand what she meant to him. Everything else after that was unimportant.

But he couldn’t broach that subject until he found something in Bianca’s files that would prove his innocence.

CHAPTER 46

Bianca opened yet another file, ignoring the blanket of doom that had settled over the great room.

Not that Ryder had given her any indication that he was giving up, just the contrary. He’d been reading through pages of information Bianca had printed. Larry’s office rivaled a small business setup.

But she’d found nothing in the VDE files she’d been reviewing for the past five hours and Ryder hadn’t said a word.

Not one word.

Of course, she’d told him in a huff earlier that she didn’t want him to talk to her ever again, so maybe he took it to heart and decided to give her what she wanted right now.

So why was she complaining, even if it was only to herself? This way, Ryder couldn’t purge his conscience and somehow turn this rift around as her fault.

Bernard’s first default had been to blame anyone but himself, which generally meant dumping on her. Just like Bernard had made her believe any perceived shortcomings in the bedroom had been her fault.

That had been before Ryder, who knew how a man should treat a woman, especially in bed.

Then how can you continue to compare Ryder to Bernard?

She couldn’t. They weren’t in the same league, not even the same hemisphere.

Granted, Bianca may have Ryder to thank for solving a ginormous personal problem, but he’d created a bigger one.

Now that she’d been with him, she didn’t want another man.

She tapped the key that scrolled the document back to the beginning since she had no idea what she’d read of the last three pages. What good did it do to find out she was capable of a full emotional and physical relationship with a man just to realize she only wanted it with the wrong one?

The one who had stepped between her and danger.

The one her parents couldn’t wait to meet.

The one who made her insides melt with a look.

When she’d accepted this op, Bianca had considered the physical risks, but not emotional ones. If she’d kept her defenses in place, she wouldn’t be nursing a broken heart right now.

Too bad. Her heart would have to wait on mending until she found the terrorist’s target.

She read back over the last two pages and paused to study an email similar to the one that had noted a Sunday threat, but still nothing identified who the K signature referenced.

“I’ll be damned,” Ryder muttered from the kitchen.

Bianca twisted around to find him pushing a drawer in and out. “This thing was stuck the first time I tried it, but it healed itself. Working fine now.”

“It didn’t heal itself. I fixed it.”

He sent her an arch look. “
You
did? Why?”

“It wasn’t hard. Just needed a slide adjustment. Larry probably hasn’t had time to spend on the small stuff, because the coffee pot wasn’t working either. It had a short in the cord. Took ten minutes to fix. I figured it would be a good way to say thank you.”

Ryder studied her, but didn’t give voice to the question behind those silver eyes. “Looks like Larry furnished this place with second hand stuff, which seems odd. He has to be making good money at VDE.”

“Not that odd. The table and chairs look refinished. Larry might like working with his hands. It’s not always about money. When you refinish a piece of furniture or repair something that’s been tossed aside, you put a part of yourself in it. I found a stash of tools in the laundry room.”

Ryder had that look again, like he was trying to figure something out. He closed the drawer and leaned a hip on the counter. “Do you like doing that? Refinishing furniture?”

“Furniture, appliances, toys.

“Why? Do you sell them?”

“No. I just can’t stand to see something of value thrown away because someone wasn’t willing to put a little love and effort into giving it a second chance.”  She didn’t want to talk about her hobby or about the families around where she’d grown up, who needed so much more than she could provide in the few hours she now had to devote to the charity she and Sara Lynn had started so long ago. Leaning back, she stretched and groaned.

The sound of his footsteps coming toward her sent her heartbeat into a crazy rhythm.

He sat down near her. Not next to her, but close enough she could reach out and touch him. But she kept her hands to herself, where they belonged, and asked, “What’d you find?”

“That the evidence against me is pretty convincing.”

She hadn’t thought she could feel any worse, but it hurt to hear the resignation in his voice. He’d broken her heart, but he deserved his freedom and so much more for what he’d endured. “We’re not done, Ryder. I have more files to go through. We’ll find the truth.”

“The truth is that I couldn’t have made that shot, but it doesn’t matter at this point.”

Hearing him sound so defeated was almost as bad as the thought of his going back to prison. She sat her laptop on the coffee table and leaned back. Would he finally tell her why he’d left the Army? “Let me be the judge of whether it matters. Why couldn’t you have made that shot ... other than the moral reason?”

He stared into the fire he’d built, quiet for so long she wondered if he’d really tell her. He said, “I’m not capable of hitting a live target with a rifle anymore.”

He’d said that the first time she’d met him in the prison, but could he really have lost
that
ability?

~*~

“Did you change your mind about your role in the military, Ryder?”

Ryder understood Bianca’s confusion. He’d faced even harder questions when he’d decided to take an early out. Leaning back on the sofa, he searched for the words. “No, it’s not like that. I’ll never stop believing in what I did—what we do—as soldiers. Our military protects all of us, and the world, from vermin.”

“I
agree and I
believe you. What happened?”

He hadn’t discussed his last military op with anyone after leaving the Army. His life as a sniper encouraged few friendships. He’d pushed people away for so long it was automatic.

So why not shut this down?

Because Bianca was sincere. She’d had a poker face when they first met in the prison, but she hadn’t been able to hide her emotions from him after their first kiss. He heard the honest interest in her voice. She cared.

That she
still had
the power to care moved him.

She’d been brave enough to let herself be vulnerable with him last night. If he ever hoped to earn back her trust, he had to be willing to take the same risk. Trust
her
with
what he hadn’t been able to share with anyone else.

“On my last mission, my spotter and I spent days following the target, a terrorist who’d captured nine US soldiers that he brutally tortured for weeks, then killed. Our intel showed his organization was growing and his bombs were getting more sophisticated. It was a matter of cutting the head off the snake. The target kept himself surrounded by children. We finally got a clear shot. The second my spotter said ‘send it’ I
touched
the trigger.”

Black dots flashed in his vision at the memory of what happened next. He took a couple of breaths as Bianca waited silently.

“A child
, maybe four years old,
came out of nowhere and jumped up in the target’s lap at the same second I squeezed the trigger. The bullet barely missed his head below that scumbag’s eyes. A millisecond kept me from killing that little boy. Now every time I look through a scope, I see that kid.”   
And I still see him every time I close my eyes.
 

“Oh, Ryder.”  Bianca’s hand was on the one he’d dropped onto the sofa between them. She laced her fingers through his and just when he thought his heart had shut down
,
it started beating again.

“I was of no use to the SF team after that, couldn’t pull the trigger
. S
o I opted out at the next opportunity.”  He sat there, letting her simple touch comfort him. Looking over at her, he found her eyes bright with unshed tears. “Even if that was of any use as a defense, which it’s not, I never told my CO or anyone else
the real reason
I was leaving.”

“We aren’t done looking.”

He’d always love her eternal optimism, but there were no new cards to play. “I’ve been through everything you printed out for me and it only convinced me that I won’t beat this charge without a confession by the killer.”

“That’s why we have to prove someone else killed the diplomat.”

She was all hope and heart. He couldn’t stand another minute of not touching her and lifted a finger to her cheek. Would she back away again?

She didn’t back away, but her eyes were still wary with unresolved conflict. She said, “We have to keep searching.”

He dropped his hand and nodded. “What have you found?”

“I downloaded so much the other night, I just now got to some emails similar to the ones noting Sunday, which we’re assuming is an attack. I found more cryptic references to an upcoming event, but nothing that helps. Nanci is going through this, too, but I haven’t seen any message posted in the vault from her.”

“Why didn’t you use the vault for communication while you were in VDE instead of taking the risk of running on the streets to talk by using your iPod?”

“Because
downloading to a vault carries risks.
I hadn’t intended to
use
a vault until we ran into Janeen yesterday
and my gut told me that was our lead and I needed to secure the intel
. Once I downloaded everything last night, I spent just as much time triple wiping the hard drive so I didn’t leave a trail from VDE to the vault. Even with all that, there’s a risk that someone might find it if Hubrecht has people with
serious
electronic forensic expertise.”

She pulled the computer back to her lap and started typing again.

He slid over closer, causing her to pause briefly. When she didn’t protest, he looked over her shoulder.

She explained as she typed. “I ran through all the travel records of the top tier
executive
s, including Sam’s, for Kearn’s killing. Sam was on the
W
est
C
oast and he had no communication with Kearn. Your brother and Hubrecht were the only two who talked to J. K. Kearn prior to the shooting.”

“What would Hubrecht’s motive be for having Kearn killed if Kearn Industries really was in trouble six months ago?” Ryder wondered out loud.

Bianca’s fingers stopped typing.

She knew something she wasn’t sharing. He
’d
kept the truth from her about the Slye team kidnapping
,
so how could he expect her to share something she was probably shielding for the FBI? He couldn’t.

His silence must have weighed heavier on her than his words, because she heaved a long sigh and said, “J. K. Kearn did steal weapons plans from VDE. It happened a month before he was killed.”

Well, fuck, that just put a cherry on the government’s case against him. “Have you known this all along?”

She shook her head slowly. “Found out when Nanci called.”

He believed her and sensed there was more, but he wouldn’t ask for what she couldn’t give.

Bianca looked down at her hands that were folded in
front of
her lap
top
. When she lifted her head, he saw resolve and regret in her gaze. She said, “I haven’t been entirely honest with you either. The FBI was behind the cyber attack at VDE. That morning I went running, I made contact with Nanci through my iPod unit. Murdock wanted me inside VDE by 5:00 PM that day and he had a plan
to
help me gain Hubrecht’s trust. I didn’t know what it was when I walked in
to your office
.
I promise.”
 

Ryder
’s jaw clenched. “I’d like to wring Murdock’s neck for putting you in a volatile situation that could have gone bad, with no backup from your agency.”
M
ore than that, he felt hope gather in his chest over her admission. “
But t
hanks.”

“For what? Taking you to task for being loyal to your people when I had to do the same?”

“
Y
ou found out about the kidnapping from Nanci instead of me.
I
wanted to tell you but I couldn’t.
I’m sorry for that.”

She swallowed and nodded. “
Okay
.”  

His hope faded when Bianca started typing again, but what had he expected? That she’d just forget she’d been terrorized for no reason?

She paused to read, then pulled her fingers back. “That’s odd.”

“What?”

“I’ve been comparing the financial information
from the flash drive
on those three international arms
dealers
with the orders VDE
actually
shipped. This one in Dubai makes no sense. The Dubai broker paid more money to VDE at times over the past two years than they received in inventory.”  

“How much more?”

She looked at him with excitement that came from a breakthrough. “From one to two hundred thousand dollars more in some months. They’re paying for invisible inventory ... or invisible weapons. This has to be it. The lead we need to prove VDE is selling to terrorists or to someone who is brokering to terrorists.”

“Who handled those shipments?”

She didn’t hesitate. “They all originated in Terrence’s office, at midnight or later. The additional payments are going to an offshore account.”

Ryder felt kicked in the nuts. “While I was busting ass to protect this country, my own family was aiding the enemy. Janeen and maybe Sam, too.”