Honeymoon To Die For (41 page)

Bianca froze. “
Who
are you talking to?”

Ryder held up a finger on his other hand while he nodded then covered the phone and whispered, “Your mama. She’s asking me—”

Bianca grabbed his wrist and wrenched it to her then ripped the phone from his hand, struggling to calm herself before speaking. “Mama?”

“Hey, Baby. What happened to Ryder? I need to know what else he likes to eat for Sunday dinner. Your daddy is goin
’
to take him fishin
’
. Can you believe your husband’s never fished? Daddy got a big laugh out of that, wants to know when Ryder’s goin
’
to be here.”

Oh, no, no, no
. How could Bianca’s life continue to deteriorate before her very eyes? “Mama, I’m coming to visit in a
week or two
, okay? We’ll work everything out then.”

“That’s fine. Just call me before you head up so I can bake a peach cobbler. Did you know no
body’s
ever made Ryder a peach cobbler? And he loves peaches, but you probably know that.”

Tears stung her eyes until she realized how much worse this would be once Bianca had to tell her parents the truth about their
son-in-law
. Bianca blinked away the threat of tears. “No, I didn’t know that, Mama. I’ll call you soon, but I really have to go.”

“Okay, baby. Tell Ryder goodbye and we can’t wait to meet him.”

“Bye, Mama. Give Daddy my love.”  

Bianca punched the off button. Her heart beat hard in her chest. She’d eventually have to face her parents as a disgraced daughter, because they wouldn’t understand why she’d had to marry him or why she had to be divorced. But that was her cross to bear. Ryder, the FBI and the world could do anything they wanted to her, but not to her parents.

How could
Ryder promise to visit
and make this even worse for her to face her parents?

She turned on him, raising her finger as a pointer to emphasize each word in a soft voice that shook with anger. “Don’t you
ever
speak to my parents again. Don’t you realize what they think?”

“We were just having a conversation,” he said, his tone quiet.

“Jerking me around is one thing, but do
not
screw with my family.” Didn’t he understand how hard it was going to be to face her parents after this? She’d envisioned taking him home to introduce to them in person. Now she’d have to explain how she’d lied to them
and
married a man for the sake of this mission. She’d never forgive herself for their hurt.

“I wasn’t screwing with them. Your mother’s a nice person and I enjoy talking to her.”

“
Nice
?
”  Her voice rose. “
My parents are
exceptional
people. They are loving and loyal. And they believe everything you tell them. I can’t help it if you have a poster family for dysfunctional relations
hips
, but I do not.”  

She drew a breath, her hands fisted. “When this is over with they’ll be hurt. It’s going to be bad enough for me to tell them that I will technically be divorced, because they don’t believe in divorce. But when they find out you aren’t really my husband and you didn’t really mean what you said, they’re going to be crushed. They think you are their son-in-law and they already care about you, dammit.”

Ryder wisely remained silent, because she wasn’t done. Not by a long shot.

“Not for you, for the FBI or even for my country will I allow you to hurt my parents any more than I
already
have by
doing
all this. Have you got that?” Her voice shook with emotion she couldn’t hide. “Why did you even answer the phone?”

“Because you said your father had a heart condition and I didn’t want you to miss a call if it was about him.”

The truth in his face sucker punched her.

Great. Now she could add guilt over that.

She clenched her hands into fists and released them, trying to gain control. She was coming apart at the seams.
Unable to process the emotions flying through her, she clamped her mouth shut and turned to stare out the window.

CHAPTER 45

Ryder maneuvered his Mustang carefully over the rutted dirt and gravel road to Larry’s cabin, a growing sense of dread curling in his chest. He downshifted a gear when the incline changed and hoped no trees had fallen over the road during the time Larry had been away.

Bianca hadn’t said a word for the last forty minutes. She’d never forgive him. Had he really thought his future would include her? Dreams belonged to other men.

There was no place for dreams in the bleak future of a man with a murder rap hanging over his head.

When the car finally broke through the dense foliage into a clearing, the log cabin was just as he remembered it except for a few improvements. The roof had been replaced and land around the cabin had been mostly cleared so the encroaching woods and underbrush were seventy yards away, which was a positive for seeing someone approach.

He parked right in front of the cabin nestled among a few big old pine trees and oaks in the center of the cleared area. “Wait for me to—”

Bianca jumped out of the car faster than if he’d hit an eject button rigged for her seat. She walked away, arms crossed and angry as a pissed off hornet.

Ryder slapped the steering wheel and scowled. What an unbelievable mess. One he wouldn’t be able to straighten out until she cooled down, if then.

She was right.

He’d broken her trust, unintentionally, but the damage was done. But he needed for her to understand that protecting his team by not divulging the truth behind their covert action did not mean he’d lied to Bianca about anything else he’d said or done with her.

He hadn’t used her.

Everything about the intimacy they’d shared was real. What he felt for her was real. Wanting her was as real as it got.

That had nothing to do with sex, though being inside her had been like visiting another universe for the first time.

He wanted all of Bianca, the entire package, right down to her family.

Allowing Bianca’s mother to believe he was her son-in-law might have been wrong, but he couldn’t help it
and in truth, he hadn’t wanted to
.

Her mother wanted to know what he liked to eat. The joy in her voice had been intoxicating, warmed his heart. Her motherly interest had touched him
in places he’d thought were dead
. Places that had never been given life. Both of Bianca’s parents were sincerely excited to meet their new son-in-law.

He’d wanted to be that son-in-law and to be part of a family where someone actually looked forward to his visit and planned a meal just for him.

No one had ever done that for him before.

How could he explain to Bianca what that felt like when she’d had it her whole life?

Bianca’s father had been just as enthusiastic, yelling in the background that he was taking Ryder fishing. Her father had his buddy making a new pole just for his son-in-law.

A lump lodged in Ryder’s throat.

He’d never been special to any family.

No one had ever given a damn about him, but Bianca’s parents did. They’d already welcomed him into their hearts.

And for the first time in his life, he wanted to belong to a family like that and to be that person her parents couldn’t wait to meet.

But he wasn’t that person. He was the man who had wounded their daughter.

Ryder made his way to the porch and stepped up next to her, expecting another volley of anger thrown at him
. He deserved that, but it
didn’t happen.

He swallowed against the misery in Bianca’s face and the regret in her gaze. Seeing that regret was worse than any injury he’d suffered in prison.

He lifted a hand to brush the tears from her cheek.

She drew back and he died a little when she cringed away from his touch. He’d made mistakes in his life, but none he’d ever pay for more than hurting Bianca. Guilt and disappointment knifed through his gut.

“Don’t.” She shook her head.

“I’m sorry, Bianca. I would
never
intentionally hurt you or your parents. I agree. They are exceptional people who deserve a son-in-law much better than me.”

She stared at him, confusion scrambling through her face for a fleeting moment before she swiped the tears away. “Are you sure Larry will be okay with this?”

“Positive. Give me a minute to hunt up the extra key. It’s going to be in one of a couple of places.”

She nodded, her expression still closed down.

Ryder surveyed the house for an alarm system. None, but that was no surprise considering it was too remote for any responder to reach quickly even with an immediate call to the police. He walked around the back and searched until he found a thorny bush surrounded by poison ivy. Ryder used his boot heel to knock the dirt loose around the base of the plants and hit a hard chunk in the ground.

The lockbox with a key was right where he’d guessed. Larry had once told him that was the only way to hide a key.

When Ryder came back around, Bianca was at the rear of the car and had the trunk open.

He unlocked the front door to the cabin and walked out just as Bianca struggled to lift a pile of bags.

He took all of them out of her hands.

She scowled. “I can carry bags.”

He gave her a withering look and walked away, depositing the bags on the saddle-brown leather couch in an open great room that spilled into the kitchen.

She started setting up the laptop he’d bought.

Ryder took in the room. “If Larry upgraded this place so he can telecommute, there has to be some internet access, but it’s not going to be hardwired because there’s no landline and I didn’t see a dish.”

Without looking up, she said, “Probably some kind of aircard or Fivespot.”

Ryder could stand here being invisible as Bianca withdrew before his eyes or go search for Larry’s internet access. Losing her and what they’d shared was killing him. He turned toward the stairs, figuring Larry had an office on the second floor somewhere.

What was he going to do about Bianca?

Ryder had wanted a rookie agent without the hard edge of someone who’d been in the field a long time. A woman inexperience
d so
it would play in his favor
. S
o no one made her. Someone who could be a convincing new bride.

She’d turned out to be so much more.  

He forced the ball of remorse back down into his chest.

Bianca was off-the-charts brilliant, resilient and so full of heart she’d found a way into his. Until meeting her, his only desire had been freedom, but now he realized the truth. Freedom would be nothing without her.

On the other hand, if he didn’t regain his freedom, this distance between them might be for the best.

For her.

He coiled his fingers, wanting to pound something. He’d gone for months without speaking more than five words to anyone in prison. His soul was withering from an hour of her silence.

Bianca needed space to be angry, but for her sake they had to find some mutual ground for completing this mission. Until she became a target, he’d never given a second thought to leaving if it came down to no other choice.

But now he had to put her safety above all else.

If he left, would that end the threat to her?

He had to know for sure that she’d be safe before he vanished. There was still a chance the real killer would be found, but Ryder had to plan for the reality of that not happening for a very long time. Maybe never.

He found Larry’s office and, just as Bianca had suggested, Larry had a Fivespot connector with a decent signal. He headed downstairs determined to thaw her chilly disposition. One kiss would do it, but one kiss would lead to a hundred more because he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off of her.

At the bottom of the stairs he paused.

The great room was empty. Her laptop sat open on the coffee table. Everything was too quiet.

Ryder raced around the corner and looked in the kitchen.

Empty. His heart shifted into overdrive.

“Bianca!”  Ryder crossed the kitchen and slung the back door open. “
Biaannca!
”

“What?”  

He heard her loud snap, but could see nothing except a forest of trees surrounding the cabin and a tin outbuilding. She stepped from behind the building with an armful of wood.

Damn. Couldn’t the woman stay out of trouble for ten minutes? “What are you doing out here alone?”

“Don’t get in a tizzy, Ryder.”  She strolled up to the small porch.

“Give me that.”  He took the wood from her. “If you want anything else out here, I’ll get it.”  He carried the wood inside and dumped it in a black wrought iron holder that sat next to the stacked-rock fireplace.

She dusted her hands. “I grew up in the country. This is the real me. I’m accustomed to taking care of myself.”

The finality of her words struck home.

She didn’t need him or his help.

Not once the threat hanging over her was gone. For a short time, she’d believed that she did, and he’d reveled in being the man she turned to. It didn’t matter. He wouldn’t lower his guard until he knew she was no longer a target. “I don’t care. While you’re here with me,
don’t
go outside alone.”

“Don’t start issuing orders.”  She crossed her arms and stepped forward. “You got away with it when I thought we were both after the same thing.”

“Dammit, Bianca, this isn’t about who’s in control and we
are
after the same thing. But I don’t want you hurt.”  

“Really?” she said dryly, one beautiful eyebrow lifted. Strands of loose hair dangled around her ears. A rose blush colored her cheeks. “Little late for that.”

Go ahead. Twist that knife another turn
. His insides were already destroyed.

He scrubbed his face, feeling the burr of a beard shadow under his fingers. “We need to talk.”

“No. We just need to do our jobs. Or at least, I need to do mine.”  She walked past him to the kitchen where she started futzing with the coffeemaker.