Hitched (11 page)

Every sense was overwhelmed by him. Exactly what she needed.

Chapter Four

Gavin couldn’t remember a time with Allie where he’d felt completely satisfied. That wasn’t to say the sex wasn’t amazing and fulfilling and exhausting. It was all of that and more. But it was a general feeling of always wanting more. Even if he’d just had her—and had her well—he could still want her.

How he’d managed a year without her, he wasn’t sure. It was like a part of him had just been numb. But now that she was here, now that he was touching her, now that he was
tasting
her, anything that had been numb was most definitely awake, fully functional and ready to go.

“Allie,” he groaned as she pulled her mouth away to run her lips down his neck, then licked at the base of his throat.

“Please, Gavin, I need you. I need this.”

He couldn’t say no to her. Never had been able to and had given up trying a long time ago.

“Anything, Allie,” he promised.

She took him at his word and started to pull his shirt up over his head. He tossed it away, groaning again as she ran her hands over his chest and shoulders.

“I’ve missed you,” she whispered, watching her hands touch him.

Missing her didn’t even begin to cover it.

There were times when constant daylight was a pain in the ass. But there were times when lots of brilliant light was just what he needed. Like now. He hit the button to raise the blackout shades. Sunlight poured in and over them through the huge windows.

He tugged her shirt up and off as well, drinking in the sight of her breasts cupped in green satin and lace. Her skin was pale, much more so than he remembered, and with her weight loss her breasts were smaller. But his mouth still watered at the sight. He reached to unhook the bra and pulled it off as well.

Her nipples puckered in the air and under his gaze, and he drew the pad of his thumb over one, loving her quick intake of air. They’d been together enough that he knew exactly how to make her hot and ready, and he plucked at one nipple while dipping his knees so he could take the other in his mouth. Sucking, he felt Allie tangle her hand in his hair and grip him tight, holding him there as she arched her hips against him.

Needing to see and touch more, Gavin cupped her ass, lifted her and started for the bed. Her breasts pressing against his chest made him want to throw her down, push her pants just far enough out of the way and thrust home. Who needed foreplay? In fact, he’d done exactly that to her more than once.

But he hesitated. Even as his body strained for hers and he wanted to bury himself deep, he held back. She was…different. Her mom’s death had hurt her and he hadn’t been with her through or after that. He didn’t know anything really except that she seemed more delicate. Not just in appearance, though her thinness was certainly part of it. Allie had always been thin, but she was toned. She worked out, ate well. Her hair and skin were gorgeous, her eyes bright, and she was full of energy and smiles. This Allie seemed so sad. He knew she was, of course, and he knew she’d been sick. But the dark circles and pale skin were only part of it. The sadness and frailty—no matter what she said—went deeper. She wasn’t as bright and energetic and…
happy
.

Of course, she’d been asleep most of the time they’d been together so far.

It was more of a gut feeling he had. That things weren’t quite right, that she wasn’t the same girl he’d known and loved.

He laid her gently on the bed, his gaze moving over her face and breasts and shoulders and stomach. It was all so familiar. How could he feel like he didn’t know her?

He knew her. Better than any man. He knew how to please her, how to touch and kiss her, how she liked to be loved.

Dammit, he could prove it.

He unzipped his jeans, loving how she propped up on her elbows to watch. Allie loved his body and he loved giving her free rein over it. He pushed the denim to the floor, not quite ready to get rid of his underwear. He needed a barrier there for some control because he was about to get her completely naked.

Allie dutifully lifted her hips as he reached for the button and zipper of her pants and pulled them down her legs and off. Her panties were also white, and he traced his finger up and down the front of them, not rushing to strip them off like he wanted to.

“Right there,” she breathed as his finger slid over her clit.

He did it again, then pulled the white silk to one side. Running his finger over her without the silk in between made them both groan.

Allie moved her knees apart. “Gavin,” she said breathlessly. “More.”

“I love making you sound like that,” he said, watching as he moved his finger again, stroking over that sweet spot.

She arched toward him. “You love making me sound even better than that too.”

He grinned. “Yes, I do. And I’m damn good at it.”

She laughed, then gasped as he leaned in and kissed her inner thigh. “You are,” she breathed.

He licked the spot he’d kissed, then moved higher and kissed and licked again.

“Let’s get you loud,” he said huskily just before licking over her clit.

“
Ah
.” Her fingers tightened in his hair and she lifted her hips closer.

He licked, swirling his tongue as her “ahs” got louder.

Finally he sucked.

“Ah!”

He slid a finger into her tight heat, loving how she writhed and cried out. Stroking deep, he added a second finger, curling just right to hit the spot that would send her quickly over the edge.

“Gavin!”

There it was. She came around his finger, crying his name.

“I don’t think I can properly express how much I love doing that,” he said, crawling up her body.

She grabbed him around the neck and pulled him close, hugging him tightly.

For a moment he held her and just breathed in and out. When he tried to move, though, she held tighter, not letting him shift away even an inch.

“Al?”

She didn’t respond, and he became aware that her breathing was ragged and there was something warm and wet on his shoulder.

“Allie, are you crying?”

She sniffed, but still said nothing.

“Honey, I can’t breathe.” It was more from the tightness he felt in his chest at the idea of her crying, but he needed to move so he could see her.

With a big sigh, she finally loosened her hold on him.

He lifted himself up off of her and she tried to roll away. He pinned her hips to the mattress. “No way. Allie, what’s going on?”

She had her eyes closed and she shook her head.

The sex had always been amazing. Even overwhelming at times. He’d felt a multitude of emotions after being with her as well. But there had never been tears.

Even when they’d broken up—any of the times—there hadn’t been tears. At least, not that he’d seen.

Gavin shifted so he was to one side, but he wouldn’t let her turn. “Allison, talk to me.”

“I just…” She covered her face with one hand and breathed in and out, deep. “I don’t know.”

“You’re crying.”

“I know.” She sniffed.

“In bed.”

“I know.”

“With me.”

“I know.”

“After an orgasm.”

“I
know
,” she wailed.

“You can understand where I might be feeling confused…and offended.” He’d meant to make her smile. Instead she grabbed a pillow and covered her face, her whole body shaking.

Dammit.

“Al?”

He started to pull her toward him but she resisted, and when he let go she rolled and headed for the bathroom.

The next thing he knew the bathroom door shut—and locked—behind her.

Fuck.

Gavin scrubbed a hand over his face. Now what? He had almost no experience in comforting crying women. But Allie didn’t cry. She was always in control, poised, in charge.

This was…not good.

Gavin pushed himself up off the bed and strode to the bathroom door. “Allie?”

“Just give me a minute. Or an hour. Go back to work,” she said, her voice muffled by the door.

“No way. Come out here.”

“No.”

Gavin rolled his neck. He liked things upfront. When they were breaking up, they’d been straightforward and completely honest. They loved each other but they wanted completely different lives. It made sense to end it. When he wanted her back, even though she was getting married, he walked into the church and told her how he felt.

He wasn’t going to tolerate a door between them when she was crying.

“I’m going downstairs to get my tools. When I come back up, either the door gets opened by you or the hinges are coming off.” He started to turn away, but the door swung open behind him.

“Are you kidding me?” Allie demanded from the doorway. “I can’t have a ten-minute breakdown by myself?”

Her eyes were red and puffy, but the tears had stopped. She was wrapped up in one of his big bath towels and she looked—dammit—fragile.

He crossed his arms. “No.”

“I just want to be alone.”

“Too bad.”

“That’s not very sympathetic.”

“No. But I have a feeling that you’ve had plenty of sympathy. Everyone’s been tiptoeing around,
not
talking to you about how you’re feeling for a long time now, right?”

She opened her mouth to reply, then snapped it shut, frowned, and finally said, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You got away with that for a year. I guess if you wanted to have everyone leave you alone—even when you were getting sick and exhausted—then you should have stayed in Promise Harbor.”

Her chin came up. “Maybe I should have.”

“But you know as well as I do that you didn’t want to be in Promise Harbor. You wanted to get out. You wanted to escape.” He took four steps closer, his toes just on the other side of the threshold into the bathroom. “You wanted me.”

“Maybe I just came for some hot sex.”

“Maybe,” he said with a nonchalant shrug. “But I’m not the one who just had an orgasm and bolted out of bed crying. Seems that if that’s all you wanted, you would have stayed put and gotten more.”

She looked surprised that he brought it up like that. Then her cheeks got pink. “I didn’t…it wasn’t
because
of the orgasm.”

“What was it?”

She swallowed hard. “I don’t know. It just all came out. I couldn’t stop it.”

He reached out, rubbing his hand up and down her upper arm. “Honey, it’s okay. In fact, I think it’s great. I’m not mad. My pride’s not wounded. If you want, I’ll take you back over to the bed right now and show you how
not
wounded I am. But,” he went on when her mouth curled, ever so slightly, “I know that I’m dealing with a lot of emotions right now being with you again. I can only imagine all the feelings that are messing with you.”

She shook her head. “I’m fine. It’s not—”

“Allie, your mom died.”

She flinched. “I’m aware.”

“That’s big. Huge. And I know you. I know that you haven’t told one single person how devastated you are.”

She pressed her lips together, not meeting his eyes. “They know how devastated I am.”

“But them knowing isn’t the same thing as you admitting it. You’ve been too worried about your dad and brothers and Sophie to probably even admit it to yourself. And I know none of them asked.”

He felt a familiar churning in his gut when he thought about Allie’s family. Or rather her blind devotion to them. They weren’t bad people, by any means. He’d liked her mom and dad—what he’d known of them. But when he and Allie were dating, they hadn’t involved their families. They’d been off at college and spent all their time together outside of Promise Harbor. He didn’t go home to visit, and when she did, he stayed behind. It worked.

But Gavin had seen her when she was getting ready to go home for a visit. She’d been tense and distracted. Then when she came back to him she’d been tired and stressed. Nothing like how she’d looked in the church at her own wedding, but the strain around her eyes had always pulled at him, made him feel protective and possessive. He’d wanted nothing more than to erase that look and make her smile. Not talking about her family and her weekend at home had seemed the best way to do those things. And so their Sundays of fun had started.

Eventually, though, the inevitable happened. When it finally came down to choosing between him and them, she chose them. She had this idea that they couldn’t survive without her, and now that Lily was gone, he was sure that had multiplied a thousand times.

Gavin made himself relax. She was here now. He could take care of her. Her family was too far away to lean on her.

“Can we go back to bed?” she asked, dropping the towel.

As far as diversionary tactics went, that was a good one.

But Gavin was strong. He shook his head. “If you think you’re going to get out of talking by distracting me with sex…you’re almost right.”