Him (24 page)

Jared ha
s the pull out all made up by the time I’m finished. He lingers by his bedroom door for a minute like he wants to say something but doesn’t. Part of me wishes I was interested in him. He seems like a nice guy, and he’s hot. Life sucks that way. You don’t get to choose who you fall for.

~*~

A gentle shake of my shoulder wakes me. I open one eye and see Jared leaning over me.

"Coffee?" he asks.

I can smell the mouthwash on his breath and clamp my lips together and nod before heading to his bathroom. I brush my teeth before I come back out. A mug is waiting for me on their breakfast bar. I'm not sure why, but since yesterday's meeting went so well, I feel even more nervous about my meeting today. It’s like I won’t feel like I’ve done a good job unless I have a similar result today. Jared makes us his own version of an egg McMuffin using this microwavable plastic egg cooker and English muffins. He eats three to my one, and he flicks bread crumbs at me when I laugh at him. I can definitely see us becoming friends.

On the way to the office building where my next meeting
is, I start panicking and ask Jared to pull over so I can get out of the car. He probably thinks I’m crazy, but he doesn’t hesitate and I feel better after getting out and taking a few breaths. Once we’re on the road again, I feel more confident. Jared waits for me again outside the building. I catch myself thinking about how nice that is while I sit in the waiting room of the dentist I’m meeting. My meeting goes well. Dr. Larsen is very methodical so I can already tell I won't be getting the almost instant result I had the day before. He does say that he'll be in touch three times, which I take as a good sign as I walk out.

Jared treats me to lunch again on the way back. While we eat
, he tells me more about himself and living in Colorado. One day of our trip, Jared and Caleb are taking us snowboarding at Loveland. When he goes by himself, he prefers Breckenridge or Eldora, but since Sawyer and I are both beginners, Loveland is closer to where they live and less overwhelming. When we get back to their apartment, Caleb is drinking coffee, and Sawyer is still asleep. I think about going in and waking her but stop myself, not wanting to find out if she’s naked. I change out of my work clothes and into a pair of jeans and a sweater. We’re watching TV when she joins us, yawning and stretching the whole way before settling in Caleb's lap. Sawyer has an almost cat like quality to her. She never walks. She slinks. The cotton candy toned streaks in her hair are long gone, replaced with a vibrant red tone and black low lights.

She yawn
s again before looking over at me and grinning. "Now that all that work stuff is out of the way, we are so going clubbing tonight."

I wrinkle m
y nose. Clubbing? That’s always more her thing than mine, and I’m not sure if I had even packed anything dressy enough.

She read
s my mind. She has a way of doing that. "I have the perfect dress for you."

Chapter 25

Present

I
wake in Will's arms. The only time that has ever happened before is that day in the lounge chair by his parents’ pool. I think back to last night, his mouth on me and then my tears. I can't really explain why I cried. I’m only embarrassed that I did. I move to slip out of his grasp, only to feel his grip tighten.

"You're not getting away this time
, Sarah," he murmurs in my ear.

"
Aww. That’s sweet and all, but unless you're into golden showers you're going to wanna let me go to the bathroom."

He squeezes tighter.

"Will, if you make me pee in my big brother's bed I will never forgive you."

"Where's the romance?" he grumbles, releasing me.

"That kind of romance is only in movies, where people never use the bathroom or have morning breath," I shout, streaking to the bathroom.

I'm heading back to the room now clad in a towel when I hear noise in the kitchen. I bite back a laugh when I see
Will leaning over the kitchen sink, in his boxers, brushing his teeth.

He shrugs at
my expression. I walk up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist and lean on him. His back feels warm against my cheek. He rinses his mouth before turning to face me, his lips finding mine. A minty fresh tongue dips into my mouth, and I'm thankful I brushed my teeth while I was in the bathroom. His hands relieve me of my towel, and he lifts me onto their kitchen island.

"This can't be sanitary
," I tease as he comes to stand between my legs.

In the morning light from the balcony door
, I'm able to fully appreciate how much his body has changed since we were kids. He stills when my hands move to the waistband of his boxers. I know what he's thinking. I had said no sex, but last night changed something in me. If Will will have me, I know I will find any way to be in his life again.

"I want you inside me
," I plead.

"I don’t have any condoms."

"I have an implant."

"Do what?"
He pulls back, looking at me.

"
It's birth control implanted in my arm." I raise my arm and point to where it’s inserted.

"Why?"

"Don't laugh."

He gives me a look.

"Okay. So Sawyer, my best friend, is very much a free spirit. She could never remember to take the pill and had a couple of pregnancy scares. She needed a more long term solution but was too scared to do it by herself, so being a good friend and not wanting to ever have to read another pregnancy exam to her ever, I agreed to get one with her so she wouldn’t be alone."

His finger traces the edge of the implant, his eyes intense
. "So what you're saying," his hand moving between my thighs, "is we can be very spontaneous?"

I
nod, my breath catching. His lips crush mine as I tangle my fingers in his hair. Will lifts me, my legs wrapping around his waist, and carries me back to the bedroom. He lays me onto the bed, covering me, grinding his hips against mine. I moan, and he's gone. My eyes flutter open, and I watch as he takes off his boxers.

"Are you sure?" he asks as he
lies back down with me.

I nod, my hands reaching for him.

His lips are on my neck. "I want to hear you say it."

I groan and lift his chin until his eyes meet mine
. "Yes, I'm sure."

His lips cut off anything else I
’m about to say, and he slowly eases into me. His lips never stray far from mine as our bodies move together. If there was ever a doubt in my mind, it is gone now. I’m made for him, and he’s made for me. There will never be anything else for either of us.

Now spent, we cling to each other.
Will can't stop kissing me and trails his lips over the side of my face, lifting his head to look at me when I smile.

I giggle
. "Will, we just did it."

He grins
. "God, I love you."

My face falls as I bury my face in his chest.

His finger under my chin, he lifts my face to his. "Sarah, what's wrong?"

I pull my lips into my mouth and bite them, my eyes watering
. I shake my head.

"Please tell me
," he pleads, his eyes wide.

I sniffle and close my eyes
, trying not to cry. "I'm so sorry I left. I'm so sorry I did that to you. Please believe me."

He puts his hands
on either side of my face and gently kisses me. "Don't cry." Another kiss. "Please don't cry." Another kiss. "Please look at me." Another kiss. "We were so young." Another kiss. My eyes open to look into his wet ones. "You didn’t know." Another kiss. "We can't change the past." Another kiss. "We're together now." Another kiss. "I just want to make you happy."

Tears stream down the sides of my face
. Will looks panicked, and I pull his lips to mine. "I love you so much." Another kiss. "You make me happier than I have ever been." Another kiss.

"Why are you crying?"

"I don’t know. I feel like an emotional wreck. Are you sure you want all of this?"

He brushes a tear from my cheek
. "There is nothing I have ever wanted more."

We kiss and hold each other until our empty stomachs protest. Wearing Will's undershirt
, I blush when I see the kitchen island. As Will starts the coffee maker, I discretely wipe down the island top. I see him watching me out of the corner of his eye, and I walk up behind him to lean on him. He's wearing his boxers. My arms wrap around his waist, and he puts his arms over them, holding me in an embrace. I rest my cheek on his shoulder blade and listen to his heart beat. He lifts one hand from mine and opens the cabinet above the coffee maker.

"Frosted Mini
Wheats or Lucky Charms?"

"Are you sure they have milk?" I ask
, hopeful.

He turns
, and I move with him so he can open the fridge. He hums as he reads the expiration date.

"Just enough for two bowls and not expired."

I kiss his back before reaching around him to grab the Lucky Charms. He turns to face me and grins as I now hug the cereal box.

"
Gonna share?"

I give the box a shake to try and ga
uge how full it is before nodding. Will leans down to kiss me before getting a couple of bowls down from another cabinet. Each with our bowl in hand, we walk into the living room and eat curled up on the sofa. Will flips the TV on to a local station. Just like old times, Will is finished before me, his bowl sitting empty by his feet. His hand is on my leg, and I have to remind myself to eat. It's hard though, knowing that he's watching me. Finally, he turns his attention towards the TV after I give him a look. His hand still on my leg proves to be too much of a distraction for me. I set my half eaten cereal on the coffee table and look at him. He's tan and cut. I reach out and touch his stomach, smiling when he inhales sharply and looks at me.

"Do you workout?" I ask, curious.

He snakes an arm around my waist and pulls me into his lap. "Like what you see?"

I roll my eyes at him and laugh
. "Dork. It was just a question. You clearly know you look good."

He drops his lips to my neck
. "I try and swim laps a few times a week and play basketball."

"No
lacrosse?"

He shakes his head
. "There really isn’t anything to do around here. I goof around at home, that's all. What about you?"

I wrinkle my nose
. "I travel so much. Does running through airports count?" He shakes his head. "I drink a lot of water and do some yoga. Really just basic stuff. My balance is crap. It would probably get better if I tried harder, but…" I lay my head on his chest.

"Whatever you are doing is working so don’t change a thing
." He rests his chin on my head.

I bring my hand up to his chest and trace the contours of his chest with my finger. Will truly has a beautiful body, strong and firm. I could touch him all day.
His arms tighten around me, and his head dips so his lips can find my neck. We make our way back to the spare bedroom. Will almost steps on his empty bowl when he lifts me from the couch.

"I can walk
, you know," I tease, kissing his neck.

"This is more romantic."

"Oh, alright. Carry on then."

~*~

Much later, after a shower, Will asks me to go with him to speak to his mother. I own my own business, a successful one, and I'm twenty-five years old. Why do I feel so nervous about what she will think of me? Will and I talk on the way about possible flight plans. How soon he comes to join me somewhat depends on how well our conversation with his mother goes. I can't help but remember the last time I was at his house when we pull up. It was senior skip day, and we had fallen asleep by the pool. I wonder if she ever would have said those things to me on the phone if she had not found us that way that day.

Will leans over to kiss me before we walk up together. He takes my hand in his as we enter his house. His mother is in the living room. Will says hello
, but she doesn’t respond. She just turns her head and acknowledges his presence. Her gaze stops and rests on our joined hands before moving up to look at my face. If she recognizes me, she doesn’t show it. Will leads further into the room, and we sit, side by side on the sofa, facing the armchair she is sitting in. The house is still exactly as it was when I was here the last time. A living museum to the dead.

"Mom
." She looks over at him. "Do you remember my friend, Sarah Miller?"

Her eyes snap to my face and widen briefly before dropping to our still joined hands. She nods.

Will chews on the side of his lip before going on. "Sarah lives in Colorado now, and since I'm on summer break, I'd like to go out and visit her. Do you think that would be alright?"