Read Hillbilly Rockstar Online
Authors: Lorelei James
She blew out a long breath. “Maybe you're right.”
He waited. He'd wait all damn day if that's what it took to help her through this.
Her body tensed, and then she started to speak. “During my third deployment, I was involved with an officer. That's taboo, especially since he was my commanding officer. Somehow we managed to keep our relationship a secret. Two months before our deployment was up, the vehicle he was riding in hit an IED. I was in the transport truck directly behind them and saw it happen. I jumped out and ran to the wreckage because I thought I could save him.”
Devin was sensing a theme here.
She shuddered. “But once again I was too late. Everyone thought I was some kind of hero for trying to save our beloved CO. I actually got a commendation. No one ever knew the truth of why I disobeyed a direct command. I had to pretend I was only doing my job when I had the horror of watching my lover die in my arms. That's the nightmare I relive.”
“Christ.” He rested his forehead to the back of her head. “I'm so sorry. How long ago did it happen?”
“Five years. After that, I didn't care whether I lived or died. I didn't snap out of it until my body took the bullets meant for someone else and I saved the ambassador's life. I couldn't save my friend. Couldn't save my lover. So the
third time's a charm
rule worked for the ambassador.”
“Liberty.”
“No one knows this shit about me. I don't know why I'm telling you.”
“I don't know why either, but you can trust that I won't break your confidence. Trust that this doesn't change anything between us.”
Such a liar you are, McClain. It changes everything.
“Thank you.” Without another word, she pushed him aside and walked out.
Devin sagged against the door. No wonder she'd gotten into the personal-protection business. No wonder she had a hard time letting anyone get closeâthey had all died on her.
Sound familiar?
Turns out they weren't so different after all.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why had she told him about Sean? She stopped violently scrubbing her hair and stood under the showerhead to rinse away the explosion of bubbles.
Because Devin was right; you needed to tell someone.
But why him? Tit for tat since he'd told her about his sister?
No.
She'd told him because even when she'd tried to push him away, he wouldn't let her. She'd taken a chance and trusted him. If her trust was misplaced . . . well, she'd deal with whatever resulted.
Since Odette was around, Liberty had to do a full hair and makeup job. During the day, when Devin locked himself in his room and worked on music, she didn't bother getting dolled up until they were forced to leave the bus.
She slipped on a pair of wide-legged olive-colored cropped pants, a sleeveless black blouse ruched down the center and patterned with swirls of gold, olive and plum. When she slipped on her gun before the show, she'd don the boxy black jacket that covered it. Concealment undergarments allowed her to keep her weapon by her hip, at the small of her back, or under her armpit. She regularly switched out the spandex-like garments. Wouldn't do to get complacent, always wearing her gun in the same place.
Hair fluffed, personal assistant face on, she exited the bathroom as the bus swerved slightly. She smacked right into Devin's hard chest.
“Whoa there. Careful.” His long, strong fingers circled her biceps as he steadied her. “Wouldn't think you'd feel the twists and turns in a vehicle this size, would ya?”
“You sure Crash isn't driving this bus?”
Devin grinned. “If Crash was drivin', we would've tipped up on two wheels for sure.”
“Scary thought.” Liberty noticed that he maintained a grip on her arms, and his smile faded. “What?”
Then he did the oddest thing; he angled his head, lightly trailing his
nose up the side of her neck. “Sweet Jesus, woman. Why do you always smell like chocolate and vanilla?”
Her skin broke out in gooseflesh from the heat of his breath and the warmth of his mouth against her skin.
“Every time you leave the bathroom in the morning after you shower, I swear I get a whiff of brownies. Then I come to find out that sweet-smelling temptation is all you.”
“It's, ah, my cocoa butter lotion and my vanilla bean shampoo,” she admitted in a breathless rush.
“Whatever it is, it blows my train of thought completely.”
Was she supposed to apologize?
Devin raised his head and stared into her eyes. “You doin' all right?”
“I'm fine.”
Then he dropped his gaze to her mouth. “You really did a number on your bottom lip.”
“I imagine it was a misguided attempt to keep myself from crying out.”
“Does it hurt?”
“Some.”
“Maybe this will help.” Devin dipped his head, placing a butterfly-soft kiss across the spot. He eased back and stared into her eyes. When she didn't utter a peep of protest, he kissed her again. Just as softly. But he didn't stop at one kiss. He brushed his mouth across hers over and over. Teasing her. Making her want more. But leaving it entirely in her control to take it.
So she did. Liberty wrapped her hand around the back of his neck and turned the soft glide of lips into an openmouthed kiss, packed with passion and laced with lust.
Devin didn't push her against the wall or clamp his hands on her ass and grind their lower bodies together. He put every bit of his energy into the kiss, drugging her with the fast-slow-fast movements of his tongue. Tasting
her thoroughly and letting himself be tasted in turn. He traced her upper lip with his tongue and then the lower lip. They paused, their lips barely brushing, and breathed each other in.
It was glorious.
“Omigod! Are you two at it again? It's been, like, fifteen minutes since you rolled out of bed,” Odette said, and then she was trying to insert herself between them.
But Liberty wouldn't let go of his neck, and he had a lock on her eyes.
“You kissed her so hard she's bleeding? Dammit, Devin, you don't have to act like such an animal all the time.”
That's when Devin's gaze moved to Liberty's mouth. “Looks like we opened up that cut on your lip.”
“I don't care.”
The heat in his eyes when he looked at her again made her belly cartwheel.
“I care,” Odette inserted. “Go put Vaseline on it or something.” She poked Devin in the chest. “Get your guitar and get up front. You've been a lousy songwriting partner the last three weeks, and we're behind on new material.”
Devin made a whip-cracking sound.
Liberty snickered.
Odette muttered and stormed off in her four-inch heels.
“Duty calls. You gonna be all right?”
No. She would be thinking about that kiss all damn day. “Yeah.”
He grinned. “Me either. But we'll talk about this later.” He headed to his room for his guitar, and Liberty crawled into her bunk.
W
hile the tour bus was luxurious, it also gave Liberty claustrophobia when she had to hole up in her bunk for more than just sleeping time.
Devin hadn't told her to keep out of the main living area when he and Odette were working, but it'd feel weird to sit around and watch as they created music.
During the day when they were on the road, Devin pretty much kept to himself. Occasionally, she heard the strains of his guitar, but when he was in the back of the bus, she mostly stayed up front.
But for some reason, today she hadn't pulled the divider between the front and back spaces. So the music and their voices drifted to her in her cozy alcove across from her bunk.
“No, that bridge is too close to the one on âAlibis and Ammo,'” Odette said.
“It'll sound different when we add bass and drums.”
“Not different enough. Jase, Gage and Steve will take the easy way and play what's familiar to them, so this has to sound unique.”
“How about no instruments? Just my voice?”
Silence. Then, “That would work. Let's hear it from the top.”
Devin sang about love being broken beyond repair.
The haunting vocals coupled with the words caused goose bumps to break out across Liberty's skin. She fought the urge to cry. What had happened in his romantic life that caused so much bone-deep sorrow?
After that she couldn't concentrate on her work. She listened as they fine-tuned rollicking drinking songs, followed by a sappy ballad. Somehow
she held back her laughter as they discarded the words
scour
,
dour
,
shower
and
plower
, which were meant to rhyme with
flower.
Odette said, “How much of what we've been working on is for your next album?”
“Some. Most. Hell, I don't know. My audience knows what they're getting with me. Some of what I've written isn't my style. Doesn't mean I don't think it's good. It'd just be better suited to someone else.”
“For instance?” Odette prompted. “Because everything I've heard today is suited to you.”
He strummed a few chords. “I've been workin' on something. It's a little rough.”
Liberty closed her eyes when he started to sing, letting his velvety smooth voice wrap around her like a silken promise. The song spoke of a great divide. By the second verse, she understood what the words meant. Standing on the precipice of something great but being unable to take that first step. This time when Devin finished, Liberty was crying. Not an escaped teardrop or two but a flood of tears.
Odette cleared her throat. “Uh, hate to tell you, but that song is all you. Keep it stripped down like that, in that almost confessional whisper tone, and I guarantee it'll be a hit. Guarantee it, Dev.”
“When did you become the psychic type who can see into the future?”
“I don't gotta have any special mind skills when my ears work just fine. That song is amazing.”
Devin said something that made Odette laugh.
Then, before Liberty prepared herself, Devin's footsteps echoed toward her. He stopped when he saw her in the sitting area. “Oh. Hey. I hope we weren't disturbing you.”
“Not at all.”
His eyes narrowed. “What's wrong?”
Shit. “Nothing.”
“Then why is your face wet like you've been cryin'?”
“Probably got dust in my eye when the air-conditioning kicked on.”
“Try again.”
“Allergies. I think I'm allergic to Oklahoma.”
Devin crouched down. “Sweetheart, I know something caused the tears that made your makeup run.”
She tried to discreetly wipe under her eyes, and her fingers came away black. God. Sometimes she sucked so bad at being a girl.
Devin sighed, stood and walked to the bathroom, returning with a handful of tissues. “Here.”
“Thanks.”
He was being so sweet, which was probably what spurred her to blurt out, “How do you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Write songs like that? Heartbreaking and beautiful with so much raw emotion.”
“It's gotta be good if it makes the toughest woman I know cry.”
Liberty didn't look at him. She just twisted the soggy tissue and said, “Don't make fun of me.” Then she felt his warm fingers beneath her chin as he tipped her head up, forcing her to look at him.
“I'm not. I'm not bein' flip when I say I don't know. Some songs just come easy. Some I work on for months and can't seem to get right. That song? It . . .” His eyes were dark and so conflicted she couldn't help but reach for his hand.
“Devin. Sorry I pried. You don't have to tell me.”
“I would if I could, but even I don't know where that song came from. I started it when I was havin' one of them days. Where the gap between where I was and what I wanted just kept getting wider. But even back then the song wasn't ringing true, so I set it aside. Just in the last couple days I was able to get it where it needed to be.”
“I don't know anything about music, but Odette does and she's right. It's an amazing song.”
“Thank you.” He swept his thumb across her knuckles. “You don't have to hide back here. You're welcome to sit with us while we're workin'.”
“It wouldn't bother you if I watched you?”
“I play in front of crowds more than five thousand strong damn near every night.”
Devin moved closer.
He continued to stare at her, as if she were a challenge. Or maybe a puzzle. “This . . . attraction between us is makin' you nervous, isn't it?”
“Very.”
“Why?”
“Because it's probably not a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“I work for you.” After she'd said it, she knew it didn't sound very convincing.
“Technically, you work for Big Sky Promotions, not me.” His lips grazed the section of skin below her temple. “Is that the only reason?”
“No.”
He nuzzled her ear. “Give me another reason, Liberty.”
“That voice of yours in my ear is scrambling my brain.”
“Mmm-hmm. Still not a valid reason, so if you don't want me to kiss you, say no.”
“I can't.”
“Can't what?” he said as he nibbled on her jaw.
Tingles shot across her skin. “Can't say no because I really want you to kiss me again.”
He smiled against her cheek.
“And that pisses me off.”
Devin brushed his mouth across hers in a barely there kiss. “Is that a challenge for me to kiss the mad outta you?”
“No. Butâ”
“Liberty.”
“What?”
“Shut. Up.” He slanted his lips over hers and dove in.
The heat was instantaneous.
And so was the interruption.
“Omigod! Seriously? I'm on a bus with the equivalent of horny teens.”
Odette marched over and tugged the back of Devin's shirt until he stood up. “Work. Now. No more breaks.”
“One minute.”
“No. Now,” Odette insisted.
“I said I need another minute,” he snapped. “Go back up front or I'll get Reg to stop the goddamn bus and I'll throw you off myself.”
Yikes. This sexually aroused side of him was hot.
“Whatever.” Odette stomped away.
Then all six foot three, two hundred ripped pounds of sexually aroused male loomed over her. “We'll talk tonight after the show. Set some boundaries and all that since you love rules so damn much.”
She smiled and shocked him by pulling him down for another steamy kiss. “It's a date. Now go sing me a pretty song.”
The show had been off tonight. Most people in the audience didn't notice, but he knew, and that's all that mattered.
After their encore, Tay approached him. “Dev, I need to talk to you.”
“About what?”
“It's personal.”
He moved to the edge of the stage to hand Check his instrument.
“Crying to Devin, are you?” Jase taunted behind them. “Typical of you, Tay. You've never been able to fight your own battles or even make your own decisions.”
Tay whirled around and shouted, “Shut up! This doesn't concern you.”
Jase all but threw his favorite guitar at Check. “The fuck it doesn't. And, bitch, if you're gonna be badmouthing me to Devin, I got a right to defend myself. And I have a goddamn say in this decision. This affects me too.”
“Bitch?” Tay yelled.
“Bitch?”
Each time she yelled louder. “I haven't begun to show you my bitchy side, asshole. God. I fucking hate you. What did I ever see in you?”
“Back atcha, babe. But the truth is, you were too busy trying to stuff my cock in you at every opportunity to ever really look at me.”
Jesus. Not again with these two. Always going for the low blow.
“And look where that got us!” Tay picked up a microphone stand and swung it with all her might at Jase's head.
Jase ducked, but the corner of the base caught the edge of the riser and bounced back. It would've clipped Devin in the face if not for Liberty's quick actionâsnagging it midair and knocking it to the ground.
Odette, Steve, Gage and Leon looked at her like she'd morphed into a superhero, but that reaction was short-lived when Crash stepped between Tay and Jase, bellowing, “Enough! Everyone's got shit to do. Get it fuckin' done. Now.”
Tay burst into tears, which brought Odette to her side.
None of the rest of the band moved, but the crew scattered.
“She has a legitimate reason for being upset.” Odette put her arm around Tay and glared at Jase. Then at Steve for good measure.
Crash threw up his hands. “I warned you two.” He pointed to Tay and Jase. “Get it figured outâhow to work together after you've stopped fuckingâbecause I sure as fuck am
not
putting up with this bullshit the rest of the goddamn tour. You work for him.” He jerked his thumb at Devin. “But as tour manager, I have total hiring and firing discretion, and I will happily can both of your asses if you don't start acting like professionals instead of lovelorn teenagers. Got me?”
Jase walked away, and the rest of the guys followed.
Crash said, “Dev, I need you to check out a couple of things during teardown before the buses take off.”
“Fine.”
Tay gave Devin a tear-filled look as Crash lumbered off.
Fuck. He hated being in the middle of this. He spun around, right into Liberty.
She set her hand on his chest and raised both eyebrows.
“Don't ask. Ain't the first time they've dragged everyone into their shit, and it won't be the last.”
“Will Crash really fire them?”
“I'd say no, but between the extra security concerns and working with
ten different opening acts for this leg of the tour, he's hanging on by a thread.”
“I thought bands' fighting was made up to sell more records.”
“Not hardly.” He placed his hand over hers on his chest. “Thanks for keeping me from getting a blow to the head.”
“That's my job.”
He wished it weren't. He wished he could pull her into his arms, drag her back to the bus and lose himself in her for a few hours. “I can't wait to be alone with you tonight.”
“Same here. But we are going to talk first, right?”
“Devin? I still need to talk to you,” Tay said behind him.
“About what?”
“I'm not being a drama queen when I say I can't stay on the bus with Jase tonight. I can't.”
Devin turned around. “Tayâ”
“I'm serious this time. I'll quit the tour before Crash can fire me if he tries to make me ride on the band bus.”
“What do you want me to do?”
Tay wiped her tears. “Let me stay with you on your bus. Just for one night. Please. I'll sleep on the couch. Or on the floor. But I can't . . . handle being around Jase.”
“What about tomorrow night? And the night after that?” he demanded. “This problem ain't goin' away.”
“I know. But he's pressuring me. We're together all the time, so I don't have a moment's peace just to think.”
Devin loomed over her. “If you're asking this because you want Jase to believe you're in my bedâ”
“Puh-leez,” Odette inserted with a snort. “That'd be a little crowded since we all know Liberty is in your bed.”
He counted to ten. “I'll be sorry that I asked, but I need to know what's goin' on between you and Jase this time.”
Tay looked at Odette and then burst into tears again. “I'm pregnant.”
His jaw dropped.
“Yes, Jase is the father.” She inhaled a shuddering breath. “You saw how
he was tonight. Can you blame me for being unsure about whether I want to keep it?”
Devin put his hands up. “I am not takin' sides on this. You've got one
night, Tay.
One
. Tomorrow night you're either back on the band bus or off the tour. Got it?”