Authors: Hannah Howell
This time, she thought, he would not stop. She could almost smell the lust in him. Unlike the desire she had felt in Master Lavengeance, Egan’s did not stir a similar wanting in her. The feel of his hard mouth bruising hers, the taste of him as he shoved his tongue into her mouth, and the way he rubbed his groin against her had her feeling nauseated and terrified. Worse, because it was late in the day and she was in the far rear bailey of the keep, she did not think anyone would be coming along to disturb them, something that had worked to make Egan back away in the past. For some reason he did not want people to think he had to force himself on her despite his reputation as a brutal rapist, someone who had left far too many women at Dunncraig and elsewhere bruised, bleeding, and afraid of men from then on.
Annora tried to push him away but he was too big and too strong. Trapped against the hard wall as she was, she could barely move. Kicking her feet proved useless and he had her hands pinned tightly against the stones, so tightly that she felt a slow trickle of blood run down her wrists. There was a sense of harsh, brutal hunger in the man, something almost feral and very frightening.
Then, suddenly, he was gone and she was free. While she stood there gasping, she watched Master Lavengeance knock Egan unconscious with one powerful punch to the jaw. For a moment she was stunned both by the fortunate appearance of Master Lavengeance, but also by the powerful rage filling the air around him. Then she saw him grab the unconscious Egan by the front of his shirt and yank him up out of the dirt, pulling his fist back in preparation for another blow.
“Nay,” she gasped and stumbled forward to grab at Master Lavengeance’s arm.
“Do not tell me that you were enjoying that,” James growled, even as he fought to conquer the blind rage that had engulfed him at the sight of Egan pinning Annora against the wall and grinding his body against hers. He was surprised that he had retained enough of his wits to speak in French.
“Men can be such idiots,” she muttered. “Nay, fool. One punch can be explained away as a mon who thought he saw a woman being raped and paid little heed to who the couple was. More than that and it looks to be a verra personal beating, aye?”
James knew immediately that she was right and he threw Egan back down. He put his hands on his hips, kept his gaze fixed on the unconscious Egan, and took several deep breaths to further push aside his fury. When he looked at Annora again, however, it almost all returned. Her lips were bruised and swollen and there was a fear in her eyes that was new. He had heard of Egan’s reputation for brutalizing women and suspected
she had thought she was about to be another of his victims.
“Are you hurt?” he asked in French.
“There will be a few bruises but nay more than that. Thank ye,” she added in a soft, tremulous voice.
Annora felt a strong urge to cry and did not understand that. She had been saved. She should be feeling relieved and happy. There was some of that, but mostly she was still afraid and she wanted to hurl herself to the ground and weep like a heartbroken child. It took her a moment to realize what ailed her. Egan had finally crossed that fine line that had always kept her safe from his brutality. She could no longer think that he would not treat her as he did too many others. There was little doubt in her mind that she would be flinching at every movement she caught out of the corner of her eye and searching every shadow for some sign of him.
“Are you able to lock your bedchamber door?” James asked her.
“Aye. I usually do.”
“Good. Make that always instead of usually.”
Despite the fact that French was a soft language, Master Lavengeance’s command sounded very hard and cold. There was still a lot of anger in him and not one that was part of that rage that she could always sense inside him. This was new and it was aimed directly at Egan. Egan deserved it, but Annora became afraid for Master Lavengeance. Egan was Donnell’s first, and perhaps his most loyal, friend and minion. It was not wise to make an enemy of either man.
“Ye had best be verra careful, Master Lavengeance,” she said as she stepped forward to take him by the arm and tug him away from where Egan lay sprawled facedown on the ground.
“And you must call me Rolf.” James wished he could hear her say his real name, say it in a soft voice made thick and husky with passion.
Annora blushed, but nodded. “And ye must call me Annora.” She glanced back at Egan as she continued to tug Rolf to the door leading back inside the keep. “But nay in front of him or Donnell, aye?”
James hesitated in their retreat long enough to tug free of her grasp, take her by the arm, and become the one leading them away from the place where Egan had tried to rape her. “He has already told me that you sit too high for me and that Egan is wanting you.”
Stumbling a little because the shock of his words were so great, she stared at him as he now led them through the door and into the keep. “Donnell said that? Wheesht, I dinnae sit too high. I am a bastard and my mother didnae sit that high e’en before her fall from grace. As for Egan wanting me, weel, that is just too bad.”
Although he wanted to tell her she was being naive, James decided now was not the time to have that discussion. She was still trembling even though her voice had now lost that wobble that indicated tears were close at hand. He had the feeling that Annora either did not know Egan’s plans for her aside from getting her into his bed or she was trying to ignore the truth because it was too ugly for her.
Once outside the great hall, James gently pushed her toward the stairs. “Go. I am going to tell MacKay what happened.”
“Do ye think that is wise?” she asked, pausing on the first step to look at him.
“It is wise to be the first to tell him what happened. Then he has that tale in his mind when Egan comes to him demanding justice or revenge. Go, it will be fine. You
were right to stop me from beating him more even though it was what he needed. I but stopped him and even your lord cannot argue with the right of that. You are Margaret’s nurse, not some whore of a maid like Mab.”
Even as she went up the stairs, Annora kept her gaze fixed upon him until he disappeared into the great hall. She wanted to go after him, to stand beside him, and try to keep Donnell from getting angry, but knew that was useless. She had never been very good at stopping Donnell from getting angry. And Rolf was right. Being the first to tell the tale was best. It would put Egan on the defensive.
As she entered her room to clean up and change for the evening meal, Annora thought of what Rolf had claimed Donnell had said about her. For Donnell to imply that she was too high a reach for a man like Rolf was ridiculous. Donnell did not see her as a wellborn maid. It was the fact that Donnell had implied that she was meant for Egan that really troubled her. It might have been just some ruse to keep Rolf from wooing her. After all, Donnell found her useful as Meggie’s nurse.
But if Egan claimed her she would still remain at Dunncraig, she thought, and felt a chill go through her so quickly and fiercely she shivered as if caught outside in a snowfall. The more she thought about it, the more she feared Donnell and Egan had plans for her that they had not yet informed her of.
Suddenly anger pushed aside the lingering fear stirred by Egan’s attack. They had no right to plan who she would marry or who would have her in any manner. Donnell was her kinsman but far from close kin, and at four and twenty she was far past the age where a man needed to arrange her future.
A new determination took hold of her. She was going to find out what these plans were. It would mean more sneaking around and listening to things not intended for her ears, but, she thought as she changed her gown, she was getting rather good at that. The sooner she knew what Donnell and Egan planned, the sooner she could act to protect herself. She would not have years to come up with a way to thwart them, so she would have to act fast. If Donnell intended to give her to Egan, she was going to have to answer just one question. Was becoming Egan’s chattel too high a price to stay with Meggie?
Leaving Meggie with Annie to have her bath, Annora hurried to her bedchamber to prepare for the evening meal in the great hall. For reasons of his own that Annora had never really understood, Donnell had refused to allow her to stay in the nursery with Meggie, or to sleep anywhere near it. The only reason she could think of was that Donnell did not want her and Meggie to grow too close to each other. If that was his intention he had utterly failed, for spending every day together had made her and Meggie as close as mother and daughter. Annora could only hope that Donnell never noticed that.
Shaking aside that puzzle, she began to hurry. She did not want to be late for the evening meal. Her intention of finding out what Donnell had planned for her had met with utter failure last evening, but she was not one to give up too easily. Seeing Egan with a badly bruised face had offered her some compensation for that failure, but not enough. The way the man had glared at her all evening would have suited her just fine, as it was far better than having him try to woo or seduce her, but there had been such menace in his eyes it had spoiled her appetite. Tonight she would not allow him to intimidate her.
Just as she started down the long, poorly lit hall that led to her bedchamber, Annora met up with a buxom maid named Mab. She smiled politely at the woman who frequently shared both Donnell’s and Egan’s beds. If the whispered rumors she had heard had any truth in them, she had sometimes entertained both men at the same time. Annora decided that was not something she really wanted to think about.
Noting the direction the woman was coming from, Annora knew it was neither one of those men Mab had been visiting. Annora suddenly realized one could reach the wood-carver’s small room if one continued down the hall to the very end and turned left. The mere thought that Mab had been romping with Master Lavengeance made Annora feel both hurt and angry. It should not matter to her who the man bedded, but it did; it mattered a lot.
“Ah, the wee nursemaid,” sneered Mab.
A little taken aback by the animosity that filled the woman and stripped her voice of all softness, Annora asked, “Is there something I might help ye with?” Annora was pleased at how calm and polite she sounded, for she refused to add to the woman’s inexplicable dislike.
“Wheesht, there be naught ye can help me with unless ye want to tell me how good that fine Frenchmon is atween the sheets.”
“Dinnae ye ken that?” Annora decided that courtesy was completely wasted on this woman.
“I ne’er said I didnae. I was just wondering if ye wanted to have a wee woman-to-woman talk o’er how verra fine that mon is. I hear ye can understand what he says e’en when he gets too, ah, impassioned to speak our language.”
Annora wondered where a woman like Mab had learned a word like
impassioned
and then felt guilty for being so unkind, even if it was only in her thoughts. “I am afraid I cannae answer that question.”
“Nay? Ye would have me believe that ye havenae been sniffing round that fine mon? That ye arenae trying to see if he is better in the bed than Egan?”
“I cannae tell ye how weel or how badly Egan performs, either.” And Annora prayed to God that she would never find out.
“Bah, arenae ye the sweet innocent? Weel, I ken what ye are thinking. Ye are thinking that I am naught but a whore and ye are looking down your fine nose at me, aye? Ye are naught but a bastard who goes from home to home doing work nay better than what I do. Just what makes ye think ye are so much better than I am?”
I occasionally bathe
, Annora thought and immediately wondered why she was consistently thinking such unkind things about this woman. It was so unlike her. At best she would think little or nothing at all about someone goading her as Mab was now. If she did think of anything, it was only about how quickly she could extract herself from the conversation and get far, far away.
It all tasted far too much like jealousy to her. Reluctantly, Annora had to admit to herself that she loathed the very thought of Master Lavengeance and Mab doing anything more than shaking hands. She was not even sure she would like that, for it would mean he was touching the woman. Such feelings had to be some form of madness. True, she did find the man very attractive and she still felt warm all over when she recalled how he had kissed her, which was far too often for her peace of mind. That did not excuse this growing urge to do violence to Mab, or to feel as possessive of Master Lavengeance as she did. If nothing else, anything that grew between herself and the wood-carver could have no future and could even cause them a great deal of trouble with Donnell and Egan, dangerous trouble.
“This is a foolish conversation,” Annora suddenly said and pushed Mab aside so that she could continue on to her room. “I do nay more at Dunncraig than care for Meggie. ’Tis all I do and weel ye ken it.”
Mab’s derisive snort echoed down the hall, following Annora and making her leave-taking taste a little too much like a retreat. Annora muttered a curse to herself and refused to rise to that bait. A heavy, but soft sigh of relief escaped her when she heard Mab hurry away and she refused to look to see which direction the woman took. Mab was one of those women who had to have every man in reach, and Annora suspected that, even if the woman had never touched Master Lavengeance, she would dislike her. No one liked a greedy person, Annora thought, not caring if she sounded a little childish even to herself.
Just as she walked by a small alcove near some steps that led to one of the tower rooms, Annora was grabbed by the arm and pulled deep into the shadows. A warm, soft mouth quickly smothered her instinctive scream. For a brief moment she was terrified that Egan had found her again. But then Annora recognized the taste of the man kissing her. She knew she ought to fight Rolf, knew she ought to be alarmed at how readily she recognized the man holding her so close, but she simply wrapped her arms around his neck and gave herself over to the kiss.
The moment the kiss ended, she struggled to regain her good sense, only to lose what little she had grabbed hold of a heartbeat later. He began to kiss her throat, pulling her hard up against his strong body even as he pushed her against the wall. She had the wild, fleeting thought that perhaps people did not need to be prone to make love.
When Rolf nibbled on her ear, teasing it with his tongue, Annora shivered. She felt as if pure fire was rushing through her body. A touch of fear mixed with the passion that had taken complete control of her. Something so strong, so overwhelming, was something that she should not and did not trust.
James felt a hint of tension enter the soft body he craved and quickly kissed
Annora again, eager to banish whatever resistance she was mustering. It was madness to grab her like this, but his need for her felt like madness. He had escaped any punishment for hitting Egan, but James had a feeling it was because MacKay wished to strike out at Egan in some small way. Whether it was a need to assert his power over his first or something else, James did not know and was not sure he cared. One thing he was sure of was that both MacKay and Egan were now watching him closely. Especially Egan, who undoubtedly sought a chance to make him pay dearly for putting such an abrupt ending to the man’s attempt to rape Annora and for beating him in front of her.
It did not please James to admit it, but some of his great need to hold Annora and kiss her was to mark her as his own. He wanted to banish the taste and feel of Egan from her lips. He also wanted to make sure that Annora was not left with a fear of such intimacies because of what Egan had tried to do to her.
He kept kissing her as he slowly slid his hand up her rib cage and stroked her breast. She tensed for just a moment and uttered a protest against his mouth, but to his delight it was a very short-lived resistance. The feel of her breast in his hand, the weighty fullness of it, left him hungry for so much more. He wanted to feel her skin, to taste her, and he wanted to do so right now, but he fought to restrain himself.
When Rolf ended the kiss and began to spread hot kisses along the neckline of her gown, Annora fought to regain some control of herself. What he was doing felt so good it was a little difficult to recall that it was all wrong. A maid should not allow a man to corner her in a dark hallway and touch her so intimately. In this case, it could also be dangerous. She had not yet discovered what Donnell’s plans were for her future. If Rolf did anything to ruin those plans, he would pay for it with his life and she could not allow that. To cool her passion as quickly as possible, she began to think of Mab and recall the chance that the woman had been returning from sharing Rolf’s bed. It acted almost as good as a bucket of cold water.
“Nay,” she said as she pushed at his chest, idly wondering why she felt such a strong urge to rip his shirt from his body and touch the skin beneath it. “I willnae be another Mab for ye.”
James leaned back a little and stared at her. “Mab?”
Finally able to think clearly, although his body ached all over to make love to her, James cursed softly. He then muttered an apology when Annora blushed. Mab had obviously been trying to get into his bed again and Annora had met up with her. Mab was becoming a nuisance. James also wondered if Mab’s persistence was because one, or even both, of her lovers was trying to use her to keep him occupied. MacKay and Egan were not the sort of men who could understand how any man could want only one woman.
“I have not bedded Mab. I do not care what the woman says. Yes, she seems eager to crawl into my bed”—he gave Annora a quick, hard kiss—“but I want something better, something sweeter. I think your lord or that fool Egan keep sending her to me in the hope that it will keep me well occupied.”
Annora knew he spoke the truth. Her ability to sense the truth or a lie was one of the few things she actually appreciated about her gift. “Why would they do that?”
“To keep me away from you.”
Since he had stepped back a little, Annora busied herself with the needless chore of brushing down her skirt with her hands. It gave her a moment to calm herself as his talk
of wanting her both flattered her and made her uneasy. Although she did not sense any taint in his desire for her, she knew a lot of men felt a woman who was bastard born did not deserve the respect and courtesies offered a wellborn lady. There was no use in mentioning to such men that her mother had been a true lady born and bred. The fact that her mother had born a bastard diminished her in a lot of eyes. They also seemed to think that her mother’s apparent immorality was passed on to her daughter. None of that attitude shaded Rolfs desire, but she had to turn him away and that made her very sad.
“It would probably be best if ye did stay away from me,” she said, hoping the regret she felt over the need to push him away did not show in her voice or in her eyes as she looked at him.
James gently stroked her cheek, pleased when she did not flinch away from his touch. He knew that many people thought French was the perfect language for lovers, but he was rapidly growing weary of it. He wanted to talk to Annora in his own tongue. Soon, he hoped, he would be able to.
“You do not wish me to be near you?” he asked.
Annora sighed. “What I want isnae important, is it?”
“It is to me.”
She smiled faintly. “Ah, weel, that is verra fine, but we arenae free to do as we please.”
“I am not a MacKay.”
“Nay, but I am and ye are a mon who was hired by MacKay.”
“So you do think you sit too high to kiss a wood-carver.”
“Dinnae be a fool. What I think is I would like ye to do your work and leave here still hale, still alive. For some reason, Donnell doesnae want ye to, weel, pursue me. And Donnell doesnae like it when what he wants is ignored. Men die for that. Men die in great pain.”
“Ah, you fear for my safety.” He kissed her again. “That is good.”
Annora almost laughed, but the very real threat they could both face snuffed out her brief burst of good humor. “Be careful, Rolf. Donnell is a fool at times, but he is also a verra brutal mon. Now, I am off to the great hall to have my meal.”
He did not stop her. At the moment he could do no more than steal a few kisses and caresses. It was foolish to keep tormenting himself by reaching for what he could not have yet. All it got him was an ache that would torment him all night long, and the cold bath he was going to have to take now would not do much to cure him of that.
Although she hurried into the great hall very late for the meal, Annora noticed that she received barely a glance from everyone already gathered there. She took her seat and smiled fleetingly at the young boy who hurried over to fill her plate with food and her tankard with ale. Egan cast her one hot glare but then returned to discussing something with Donnell.
Most of the time she liked the way that few of Donnell’s men noticed her, but this time it stung. Annora knew it was for the best that she remained almost invisible to them all, that it was the best way to avoid becoming the target of Donnell’s anger, but tonight it made her feel angry. She might be a bastard, but she was a person who cared for the laird’s child. That had to matter, yet to so many of Donnell’s people she was no more than some ghostie. It might have been what she had wanted to happen, but it should not
be so easy.
Telling herself not to be so foolish and allow pride to rule her, Annora concentrated on her meal. Donnell and Egan talked in low voices and occasionally glanced her way, but she tried to ignore them. It was blessing enough that she did not have Egan seated next to her. She had to make some plan to find out what they had in store for her. If she could do so without being obvious, she would listen to what they were so intensely discussing in whispers right now, but the last thing she wanted was to be caught out in the act of eavesdropping.
When Egan and Donnell suddenly left the room, she inwardly cursed. She knew they were going to discuss the matter, whatever it was, somewhere where they felt they could do so more freely, and that was probably in Donnell’s ledger room. If she bolted down her food and left now, it might be too obvious to someone that she was following them, and that someone could mention it to Donnell. It was a chance she could not afford to take. Despite the tension caused within her by the need to try and find out what they discussed, she ate her meal at her usual pace. It sat in her stomach like a rock by the time she felt it was safe enough to leave the room.