Authors: ML Ross
Amy
It’s
a three hour drive to the hospital my mother is now calling home. Dillon
called to make sure I can see her. The staff assured him that my mother is
lucid and has been stabilized on the correct doses of medication and that she
is no longer a danger to herself, but that she is still very ill.
The
cold stark hallways of the hospital sends chills through my body. Dillon tightens
his grip on my hand as we walk towards my mother’s room.
“Name
please?” a nurse dressed in white asks as she holds her pen to the clipboard
waiting for my answer.
“Amy
Frank and this is Dillon Andrews.”
She
turns and knocks on the door behind her and then pokes her head in.
“Allison, you have visitors.”
My
heart starts pounding in my chest. I have to take a few deep breaths
before Dillon and I walk hand in hand into the room where my mother sits near a
window looking out over the park that is right behind the hospital. Her
room is no better than the trailer we lived in. The walls are concrete.
It’s cold. There is no color. She turns to me from her chair and I
watch a small smile slowly form on her face.
She
looks tired. She’s pale and so thin. Her hair is pulled back,
exposing her prominent cheekbones. Her robe is gray in color and dingy
looking.
She
stands in front of her chair and holds out her arms to me. Dillon rests
his hand on my lower back and gives me a gentle push toward my mother. I
take a few slow steps toward her at first, but then quicken my steps until I’m
in her arms sobbing. She squeezes me tight to her and rocks me like I’m
five years old again.
“I’m
sorry Amy. I’m so sorry,” she whispers into my hair as she strokes it
with her fingers.
“I
know. I love you.”
“I
love you too. So so much,” she says as she continues to rock me in her
arms.
We hold each other for
several minutes before my mother whispers into my ear. “Who is that?”
I pull
slightly away from her and wipe the tears from my face. I reach out for
Dillon’s hand. “This is Dillon Andrews. He’s the boy from the
ranch.”
“Dillon
Andrews,” she repeats to herself. I watch her expression change as
recognition sparks in her eyes. She remembers.
Dillon
walks across the room and offers his hand to my mother, but to my surprise, she
pulls him into a hug. I think I hear her whisper
thank you
to him.
My
mother sniffles and her breaths hiccup as she begins to cry. She can’t
seem to keep herself together. She sits back in her chair and sobs into
her hands, repeating over and over how sorry she is. Dillon and I
exchange looks and he gives me an encouraging nod to tell her what I came here
to tell her. I kneel down in front of her and take her face into my
hands. “Mother. I know the truth. I know about Alex and
David. I know that David is my father and what he did to you. I
know why we never left that house. I know that you were sick and didn’t
get the help you needed. I don’t blame you for anything. I know you
tried to protect me the only way you knew how. And you did it, you kept
me safe. All of those years, you hid me from him. Thank you.
He’s gone now. He can’t hurt us anymore. I want you to know
that I love you.”
“I
love you too Amy,” she whimpers. “I have something for you.” She
reaches into her nightstand drawer and pulls out a wrapped gift tied in a
beautiful pink bow and hands it to me. I don’t know what to say. She
has never given me a gift. I stare at it for a moment before she pulls me
into a hug, and when she releases me, she stands to her feet and wraps her arms
around Dillon. “Take care of my daughter, Dillon.”
“I
will,” he whispers to her.
My
mother climbs back into her bed to rest. I tell her about Buster and the
sunsets and s’mores until her eyes close.
An
hour into the drive home, we receive the call. My mother passed
peacefully in her sleep. Her heart just stopped. She had been
suffering heart arrhythmia since her overdose and although they were trying to
keep her stable, her heart just couldn’t take anymore.
Dillon
and I finish the drive in silence. He holds my hand while I stare at the
wrapped gift from my mother.
That
night, I sit with my legs crossed in the middle of the bed studying the gift in
my hand. I know what it is. Dillon quietly climbs into bed,
positioning himself behind me and cradling me in his arms as he sets his chin
on my shoulder.
“What
is it?”
I slowly
remove the paper and the ribbon from the storybook. There is no note.
There doesn’t need to be one. I understand. I clutch the book
to my chest and let myself cry for the happily ever after my mother never had,
and I cry happy tears knowing that she believes I found mine and that she can
now rest in peace.
“It’s
my story,” I tell him.
Dillon
pulls me to him and holds me as I continue to hold onto the old worn storybook.
I close my eyes while listening to the beat of his heart, and fall into
the most restful sleep, wrapped in the comfort of his arms.
I’m
spinning. I’m dressed in white. The sun shines bright up in the
vivid blue sky, warming my skin. The leaves on the elm tree are bright
green and dancing in the gentle breeze. The rolling hills surround me
with the most colorful wildflowers. I stop spinning. Where’s Dillon?
I look frantically all around me, but I can’t find him. My heart
starts to beat rapidly. I look for the fence. The darkness on the
other side of the fence. I can’t find the fence.
Then
I see him. He’s riding his horse toward me. He stops beside me and
offers me his hand.
“Dillon?”
I have to block the bright sunshine from my eyes. He doesn’t look
real.
“Come
on Amy. Come with me. You’re free.”
I take
his hand and he lifts me up onto the horse in front of him and then wraps his
arms around me.
“Where’s
the fence?” I ask.
“It’s
gone.”
I
sit straight up in bed, gasping for breath. Dillon is immediately at my
side, rubbing circles on my back.
“Amy, it’s
just a dream. You’re okay.” His voice is full of concern.
“I
know. I am. I’m okay, Dillon.” I turn to him with tears
gathering in my eyes, good tears, and a smile. “It was a good dream.
You came riding up on your horse. The darkness behind the fence was
gone. Everything was bright. It was just like the end of the
storybook. I never gave up hope. You’re my prince. You’re my
happily ever after.”
He kisses me softly on my
lips and I smile against his mouth.
“What?”
He smiles back.
“I
know what I want to do with the land.”
“What’s
that?”
“I
want to take the fence down.”
CHAPTER 26
Dillon
“Amy
Frank? Would you go out on a date with me?”
It’s
been five weeks since I’ve had a nightmare. It’s been four weeks since my
mother’s funeral. It’s been three weeks since the fence came down.
It’s been two weeks since Ray decided to move to Denver permanently.
It’s been one week since Dillon decided to use the donation from Alex Schafer
to hire a therapist to work on the ranch, a therapist experienced working with
troubled teens using Equine Therapy.
I’ve
been working in the guest house/office scheduling appointments and greeting new
clients as well as taking care of the horses. Dillon has been working
with Laney to get the word out at the hospital and boy has the word spread
fast. We’ve had an overwhelming response. We haven’t had any real
time together for a while, so seeing Dillon stand in front of me holding a
bouquet of red roses and a box of chocolates wrapped in gold paper and asking
me out on a date, makes my heart melt. He remembered. Never have I
ever been on a date.
I
stink. I know there is hay stuck in my hair, but still he looks at me like I’m
the most beautiful sunset he’s ever seen.
I
smile big as a single happy tear slides down my cheek and then I throw myself
into his arms.
“I
would love to go out on a date with you, Dillon Andrews.”
He
swings me in his arms, my legs swinging back and forth like a pendulum, and
then he sets me down.
“You
stink. Go.” He swats my ass. “Shower for our date.”
I
don’t think this is a typical date. He doesn’t tell me where we’re going,
but he drives us to this small town surrounded by the Rocky Mountains. There
are hotels, shops and restaurants scattered all around us. There are
tourists crowding the streets. The smell of coffee and fudge fill the
air.
Dillon
takes my hand as soon as we park the car and like an excited kid, he drags me
to a booth where he buys tickets for an adventure park.
“What
are we doing?”
“You’ll
see. You’re going to love this.”
“Are
we getting on that?”
“It’s
called a Gondola. It will take us up to that mountain.” He points
to the sky. “You can see everything from up there.”
“It
looks a little scary.” I have to block the sun from my eyes as I squint
to see the top of the mountain. It looks like it’s in the clouds.
“Don’t
worry. It’ll be worth it. I promise.”
We
jump into the moving gondola and Dillon takes my hand in his as we watch the
little town below us get smaller and smaller. We can see for miles.
Mountain tops, trees, meadows, lakes and houses. As we reach the
top, it all becomes a blur of colors below.
“Everything
looks so small from up here.” It really is hard to believe how much of
the world I have never seen.
As
soon as we exit the gondola, Dillon turns to me. “First things first,
cotton candy or candied apple?”
“Both.”
“That’s
my girl.” He throws his arm around me and squeezes me to him as we walk
to the little treat stand. Dillon hands me a large apple on a stick
coated in a bright red sugary glaze. He pays the vendor and grabs a bag
of rainbow colored fluff. Spun sugar. He grabs a big handful in his
hand.
“Open.”
I
open my mouth wide and he shoves the blue sticky stuff into my mouth. I
warm it with my tongue and immediately feel it melt in my mouth, leaving
crunchy bits behind.
“Is
my tongue blue?” I ask him, sticking out my tongue.
“Yes,
your lips too.” Then he leans in and kisses the sticky sweetness on my
lips.
“Dillon?
Have you talked to your friends since…”
“Yes.
They were all worried about you.”
“Do
they think I’m crazy?” I’ve been really worried about what they are
saying about me. I don’t want to come between him and his friends.
Dillon
stops walking and pulls me close to him. “My friends care about you.
They were worried. They don’t think you’re crazy, or a freak.
Even Candice was genuinely concerned about what happened. They
wanted to come by to see you, but I told them to wait. I wasn’t sure you
were ready. They truly do care about you Amy. They are your friends
as much as they are mine.” He pauses. “So I was thinking. Are
you up for a bonfire next weekend? I can only hold them off for so long.
My dad and Laney are coming to stay that weekend too. What do you
think?”
“I
think…..I think that would be great.” I smile up at him as he leans in
and kisses my forehead.
“Now,
follow me because I have something to show you.”
We
walk past a few huge rides that make my heart plummet into my stomach just
looking at them. From this elevation, they literally are
throwing people up into the clouds. People are screaming. Music is
playing. I eat my cotton candy and take it all in as Dillon pulls me
through the crowds. Then he stops.
We’re
standing at the edge of the mountain. The sun is just about to set. The
sky is still bright, but colored with muted shades of pinks and oranges.
All of a sudden, all of the noise and the laughter dulls around me as I
look out over the railing at the world below us. I can see for miles and
miles. It never ends. Beautiful snowcapped mountains surround us.
Dillon slips a quarter into the slot of a binocular machine that
overlooks the view.
“Look
through here. You can adjust how close you can see.” He guides my
head to the binoculars and then stands behind me with his hands on my hips,
looking over my shoulder.
I
can see cities. There are groups of buildings where people work, eat, and
shop. Neighborhoods and schools where children play. I see parks
with trails and ponds and picnic tables as well as museums, zoos, and malls.
I also see trains, buses and cars driving from place to place.
Dillon’s
arms wrap around me and I can feel his breath on my neck. “You can see
the whole world from up here. I wanted you to see it. It doesn’t
look evil, does it?”
“No,
not at all. It’s absolutely beautiful.”