It was hard to miss the sharpness lacing her voice. And he didn’t know how to answer her question without sounding like a fool. “I, uh…was just killing time while my dad was moved to a private room.”
“By hanging out in the emergency room?” Yeah, she wasn’t buying it at all.
“I like to people watch sometimes.”
“Huh.” Tess’s dark eyes nailed Sean to the wall behind him. “Well, the
people
you want to watch isn’t here. She doesn’t come on for another hour.”
“Tess, I swear I didn’t come here…” He shook his head tiredly.
Fuck it
. “How’s she doing?”
She crossed her arms over her chest, getting ready to give him an earful of what he had coming to him. “If you want to know that, you’ll have to ask her yourself.”
“Fair enough. I’ll let you get back to work then.”
When Sean turned to leave, Tess’s words stopped him. “She took an oath, you know.” He faced her again. “She would never violate that oath, no matter what the circumstances.” She sighed, some of the stone in her expression dissolving. “Erin’s a tough nut to crack, Sean, but somehow you got in. For the first time since I’ve known her, she was thinking about something other than work. That in itself is a miracle.”
She walked away, leaving Sean feeling as if he’d been sliced from his navel to his throat. At least he was in the right place for it.
* * * *
The move to a new room exhausted Tom, so he slept somewhat comfortably for a good part of the night. Sean, on the other hand, tossed and turned on the thing the hospital provided that they called a cot. His comfort didn’t matter, though. As long as his dad was receiving top-notch care, which he was, Sean could sleep on the floor if he had to, or propped in a corner. Instead, he lay there staring up at the ceiling through bleary eyes, listening as the heart monitor beeped in steady, reassuring intervals.
“Isn’t this Erin’s hospital?” his father asked, startling Sean fully awake.
He glanced at his watch. It was just after five a.m.
“Yes, sir.”
“Wonder why she hasn’t been by to visit?”
Sighing, Sean sat up and dry-washed his face with his hands. “That’s my fault, Dad. I…saw you two talking that afternoon at your birthday party. When Livvie called to tell me you’d had the heart attack, I figured you’d been discussing your health issues with Erin because she acted strangely after we left. She became quiet and a bit distant, sad almost, now that I think about it. I lost my temper and said some nasty things I shouldn’t have.”
His dad shifted around in the bed, grimacing as he tried to get comfortable.
“Son, I made her promise she wouldn’t say anything to you.”
“Why would you do that?”
“I didn’t want you to worry. Your job is dangerous enough without the added distraction of your old man’s rotten ticker.”
“God, Dad.” Sean reached over and smoothed his father’s graying hair back from his forehead. “I appreciate your concern, but if there’s something wrong with you or Mom, I want to know about it right away. Don’t ever pull that shit again, okay?”
Tom chuckled. “I hope I won’t have a need to.” After a deep breath, his dad continued. “Erin guessed that something was wrong before I told her. She has this directness about her that I find very refreshing, and she’s just that sharp a doctor at such a young age. Imagine how good she’ll be when she’s in her fifties.”
I hope I’m still around to see that version of her.
“I screwed things up,” Sean said. “And now I miss her something awful.”
“Then stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it.”
“What do you suggest?” He knew what he needed to do, but he asked anyway because he liked that he was having this conversation with his father. They rarely talked about serious stuff anymore. It had been years since his dad had offered him any sort of advice, other than “
be careful
” or “
I wish you’d change your mind about becoming a police officer
.”
“Groveling,” his dad said.
Sean smiled. “Does that work with Mom?”
“Usually, but it doesn’t hurt to have a nice piece of jewelry handy as a backup.”
“Erin’s not the jewelry type.”
No, she’d be happy with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, no crust.
“She’s a great girl. She has the Rembert Family Seal of Approval, not that you need it.” But he was glad to have it.
“I’m afraid it might be too late.”
“It’s never too late,” his dad said. “Unless she’s moved on to someone else that fast, which I somehow doubt.”
“She hasn’t.”
Of that, Sean was certain.
He grabbed his shaving kit and stepped into the room’s attached bathroom to splash cold water on his face, shave, and brush his teeth.
Erin wasn’t the type to have a revolving door in her bedroom. It might be months before she would even consider dating again. Hell, they hadn’t dated. They’d…collided.
The more he thought about it, the more he was sure if things hadn’t gone down the way they had that night at Blue, he would’ve never seen her again. Their connection had scared her as much as it surprised her, so in a twisted sort of way, luck had been on his side in getting that assignment and in the subsequent series of events.
He dropped his shaving kit back into his duffel bag, then stomped his feet into his boots and laced them up.
“I forgot to bring my phone charger up with me last night, Dad. I’m going to run down to my car and get it.”
And grab one of those monstrous cups of coffee
. “Can I bring you anything from downstairs? Magazines, crossword puzzles, a balloon to cheer you up?”
“Steak and eggs, preferably rare and runny.”
Sean grinned, happy his dad’s appetite was returning, along with his sense of humor. “Nice try.”
* * * *
Erin was going to make one more concerted effort to see Tom, then give up. She felt like a coward, avoiding Sean like he was a pharmaceutical sales rep, but she couldn’t handle the animosity in his eyes, the hurt. It might’ve tapered off by now, since his dad was doing better, but perhaps not. He might never forgive her. And maybe she was trying to avoid more pain for herself as well. The ache was still deep and acute, too tender to even try and ignore yet.
As soon as her shift ended, she called first, asking the nurse who answered on the fifth floor if Tom had any visitors at present. She put Erin on hold for a few minutes, then came back to tell her no, he was alone. Erin hung up and took a risk by jumping in the elevator.
The door of Room 525 stood ajar by a few inches. She hesitated there for a second, listening for voices on the other side. When she heard none, she knocked. His clipped “enter” made her second-guess her decision to visit for a moment, before she brushed it off, figuring he was just being a typical restless hospital patient.
Tom sat propped up in bed, wires and tubes attached to his body in their necessary places. His color was good though, and he smiled when he saw it was her.
“Erin! It’s good to see you. Come in, come in.”
She perched her bottom on the edge of the windowsill. Behind her, the sun was rising, pushing daylight through the tiny cracks in the blinds. There was a rumpled, unmade cot in one corner of the room, and Erin could swear she caught a whiff of Sean’s aftershave in the air. Then she spotted his blue duffel bag shoved underneath the cot. He’d been there, spent the night with his father, and could return at any minute. Her heart raced at the possibility, even though her mouth went a little chalky with trepidation.
“You just missed him,” Tom said.
Erin’s face flushed with embarrassment. Good grief, was she that transparent? When she spoke, she stuttered a bit. “Oh, no…I didn’t. I came to see
you
. How are you feeling?”
“Sore, grouchy, and claustrophobic.” Yeah, she bet it felt like being squeezed inside a shoebox, coming from a house the size of his. He chuckled, though. “Think you can pull some strings and get me out of here faster?”
“If I had any sway whatsoever with Dr. Stanhope, I would use it for you, but I’m afraid I don’t. Sorry.”
“Well, it was worth a shot.”
“If you keep improving at the rate you are now, getting up and walking on your own, it won’t be long before you’re released.”
Sean resembled his father so much it almost hurt to look at him. Even though he was in his midsixties, Tom was still quite handsome and relatively fit. They had the same strong, masculine bone structure, same dark hair, although Tom’s was graying around his face, and the same expressive evergreen eyes. Sean’s had tiny flecks of gold around his pupils that became more pronounced when he laughed. Or when he was turned on.
Not the time to be thinking about that, Erin.
“It’s my fault things went bad between you and Sean. I should’ve never asked you to keep my health problems from him.
I
shouldn’t have kept them from my family in the first place. It was wrong of me to put you in that position.”
Erin smiled ruefully. “It’s okay. I stuck my nose in your personal business when I should have just kept my mouth shut. Anyway, what’s done is done.” She hesitated, knowing she was about to scrape the scab off another wound, an old wound, but what difference did it make now. It was hurt on hurt. “If I had a family like yours, I’d want to spare them from as much pain as possible too.”
Tom frowned. “You don’t?”
“I have an older brother who lives in New Orleans. My parents were killed when I was thirteen, so I guess I saw both sides of the coin.”
That’s what made keeping your secret that much harder.
“Yes, I suppose you did,” he said, still frowning. “I’m very sorry to hear that.”
“Thank you.” Erin drew a deep breath, noting the melancholy ache seemed duller this time, less suffocating at the mention of her loss. But that didn’t mean she wanted to discuss it in depth. She grabbed his hand and squeezed. “I should go. I just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you.”
“I’m glad you came by.” He held on for a moment more. “Erin…Sean has—”
Just as he said Sean’s name, the door to the room swung open, and the man himself stepped through. Filling the small space. Sucking all the air from her lungs.
They both stood frozen, lips parted in surprise, eyes stretched wide as they took each other in. For a moment, she thought his gaze looked almost…hungry. He swallowed; then his mouth moved as if he was trying to form a word.
Erin’s chest squeezed tight. Even if she could think of something coherent to say, she wouldn’t have been able to get it past the choking lump in her throat. The backs of her eyes stung. Oh no, she would not lose it here. She’d shown far too much weakness in front of him as it was. If she was going to fall apart again, it would be while she was alone.
She slid her hand from Tom’s grasp and darted past Sean, out of the room, and into the closest available elevator, punching the Down arrow once she stepped inside. As the doors slid closed, she thought she heard him call her name. Or perhaps that was just wishful thinking on her part.
When the elevator hit the first floor, she jogged to her locker to retrieve her backpack, then sent Luke a quick text to find out which one of them was following her home. Instead of texting her back, he called.
“Hey, Erin,” he said, his voice sounding strained on the other end of the line. “We’ve all been called away to another murder, but I’ve sent a patrol unit to follow you home. He’ll post watch outside your apartment until we get through here.”
Her stomach jumped into her throat. “Is it…does it look like the same guy?”
Luke sighed a thousand defeated breaths at once. “I think so.”
There was so much dejection and frustration in his reply, Erin’s hand tightened on her phone in sympathy. This had to be taking a hard toll on them all, being unable to catch this monster while a fear-based hysteria grew in the city’s residents and officials. The mayor was threatening curfews. Sales of various forms of self-protection were skyrocketing. It wouldn’t come as a surprise to Erin to see the hospital have an uptick in accidental shootings. With any luck they’d catch a break on their case very soon or else the city was going to have a mass panic on their hands.
Still clutching her phone to her ear, she headed for the parking garage. “I’m sorry, Luke.”
“Me too,” he said. “The patrolman has your information—where you work, the make and model of your car, where you live.”
“I see him,” she said as she made it to the doctors-only area of the garage. Relief loosened some of the boulders of tension in her shoulders. “He’s parked a few cars down from me.”
“I told him to expect you around six.”
She checked her watch. “I’ll have to apologize for keeping him waiting.”
“He’s doing his job, kiddo. I’ll check in when we wrap things up here.”
“Thanks, Luke, and good luck.”
When she hung up, she dug her keys out of the side pocket of her backpack and gave the cop a little wave to let him know she was aware of him. Through his tinted windshield, she saw him lift a finger from the steering wheel in acknowledgment, but that was all she got. Erin climbed in her car and drove out of the garage, her temporary shadow in tow.
Chapter Sixteen
Sean was disoriented for a moment, as if he hadn’t walked in and seen Erin standing there beside his father. That instead he’d been suffering from a sleep-deprived hallucination, before he ran after her. “Erin, wait!”
But the elevator doors slid shut before he could reach her. He slammed his hand against the wall in frustration, then walked back to his father’s room, his mind racing.
“What time was Mom coming up?” he asked his dad, trying not to appear too anxious to leave.
“I’ll be fine, son, just get out of here!” his dad said, shooing him out the door.
He caught the next available elevator, which took so long it must have made the trip from three states away, and rode it down to the ground floor. There was no sign of her blonde head in the hallways when he disembarked, so he went in search of her.
After checking the cafeteria, peeking inside rooms, and even loitering outside a few ladies’ restrooms like a pervert, Sean headed for the ER, thinking he wasn’t above whipping his badge out of his pocket to get past any barriers he might encounter. Sitting in the waiting room before, he’d noticed people were not allowed into the actual treatment area until they were called back by a staff member. He hesitated for a bit, waiting to see if Erin exited that way or if perhaps Tess came out to fetch someone, but his patience was wearing thin. The next time the staff buzzed a person in to see a loved one, he followed them through the frosted glass sliding doors.