Haze of Dusk (A trilogy) (27 page)

“M
y life has been a lie. Not only did Papa betray Morgan, but also it's that woman’s fault he was killed…it’s her fault.” I speak in a trance.

“No, it is not Sandrine’s fa
ult. She is a victim.” I gnash my teeth. Anger overcomes sadness. “It’s her fault!” I growl. I stand from the chair, and intently face Vaniele, who is stun by my rage.  “You protect her! Is that the reason why Srogeri hates you? Because you are as wicked as that bitch—”

“Judyala!” she cuts in rage.

“Don’t say anything else!” I yell back. “Don’t talk because it will only make things worse. You— I should have never trusted you. You’re also to blame. I hate you and I hate her, and I swear I won’t rest until that bitch, and her father
bleed f
or killing MY FATHER!” I shout. Tears of rage rush down my cheeks. And without another word said, I get out the headquarters and rush to my room. I lock my bedroom— alone and isolated by the world. I hug my pillow and let weakness take over me.

The pieces of the mystery find the lost tides. No longer do I question why Morga
n cried day and night, begging Papa to stay by her side. At last, I understand Papa’s love for the war, and why he lived in Doomsvell, only visiting us for special occasions. As Morgan cried day and night for him, Papa remained by his mistress’s side. My poor Morgan suffered. She had to raise a stubborn child whom didn’t belong to her, and still Papa took another woman in his hands. “Why Papa? Why did you hurt us so much, why?” I’m mad at my dead Papa for lying and hurting the people I love.  My environment suffocates me.  There’s only one way to ease my disturbance.  I dash out of my room. In my mind, I know what I have to do to remove this pain. I need to leave Doomsvell.

Once the late hours emerge, I sneak out of Doomsvell castle and head
to the road to the main portal. I seek Morgan. I wish to listen to her talk about her suffering. I want to ask Srogeri why he lied about Papa dying in the arms of an arclaw, when reality is he was killed by that man. Could it be Srogeri did not know?

I reach the gateway to the outside world except, I have no knowledge in how to open the portal to the other side. I hit myself on my head.  There's no way out of Doomsvell. Flying out is not an option, as an electrical barrier surrounds the castle. If I swim, the sea creatures will instantly devour me. I frown. “Damn it! Judyala, do something. You have to leave this hell,” I sappily stare at the ocean, there's truly no way out. I rethink going back—brusque strong steps draw my attention. Coming my way is a carriage led by two cockatrices.  I throw myself behind a tree and watch how the black carriage awaits for part of the ocean to rise. The water twirls in the air in a tornado form. I run behind the carriage. I jump in just in time, the portal abruptly absorbs me.

I walk the dark-path, breathing heavily and following the same track from my arrival. I don't stop. There is no hell that'll make me turn back.

Light embarks upon my sight, now I know I’ve traveled far. I reach a rode with many paths. I gaze around confuse with the selections. Since home is north from my spot, I choose the northern path, a rode with a dead forest and millions of thin branches. The deeper I walk in the forest, the faster I believe the branches slither, absorbing my energy. I breathe heavily. Fuzziness takes over me, and the world goes in circle. It’s too hot. I need rest. I sit in an isolated area by a thicker branch. In my mind, is that woman, I just can’t believe she belonged to my father. That day, when I said my name…Jorsay’s name… she stared at me contemplating. Of course, all this time she has looked at me like a moron…I’m such a fool. I knew it, my heart knew it. That woman is no good.

A loud howling startles me. I hurry up
and look all ways. There’s nothing but the hollowness. I’m exposed to the arclaws and wild animals so there is no stopping, not until I find a solution to my perplexity. I head north, when a closer howling halts me. This time it comes from behind me. I hear a rapid pant. I noisily swallow, gradually turning—I fall insensible to life. I'm petrified by what stands a few feet from me. He’s taller than six feet, his muscles sturdy yet he’s emaciated. His face almost human, but his long-fangs and wrinkly-forehead distinguish him from our kind. He is nothing I imagine, but quite appealing for a creature. For the first time, I’m facing an arclaw. He snarls at me.  I can see it in his eyes, he wants me dead. He takes small steps, his claws ready to penetrate me. I’m overcome with fear, but I know I have to fight. I thrust my hands to him bringing out a power that dashes him to the other side.

I run south,
I want to get as far away from the forest. My breath is heavy. My fear is great. I don't want to die.  A flying arclaw stumps my ground. She stands ahead of me, stretching her wings and screaming. The screech causes the drums of my ears to pop.  I fall down on my knees, covering my aching ears.
No...No you can't give up
. I bear to lift a hand, and with all my strength, I send a gravity that collides with her stomach, her body hits a branch, breaking the wood in two.

I stand breathless. An annoying
ring aggravates my head. The sounds of the world are difficult to hear.  I’ve gone deaf.  My safety is to run, but it's too late. I remain frightened by my circle. I’m surrounded by fifty arclaws: males and females, set to devour me. They snarl, most likely famished by me. I lift my hand ready to fight back, but a cold vibe seizes my body. I can't move. My body is completely paralyzed. They deviously stare. I can tell they have combined their powers, ensnaring me with a wicked glare. They truly are powerful. The female arclaw I’d attacked hurries to me and growls. The branches around me stretch, slowly wrapping my body. A root tightens on my neck, little by little choking me. 

The male arclaw I'd encountered
earlier walks and stands near her. He stares at me deceitfully. His face downward, yet he rolls his eyes to see me. “Fine…you want to kill me. Go ahead, kill me!” I manage to say as the branch squeezes me. I gasp for air, but abruptly the branch movement stops, and I’m able to guzzle down a bit of life. For an instant, they stand still watching me with strange eyes. Can it be they pity me?

“Ah…ah...ah...” the female arclaw pants
, and hurriedly shakes her head, as if in disagreement. She growls at the male arclaw. He nods, and deviously stares at me. Again, the branch tightens around me.
What the hell is going on?

I’m choking…I can’t take it.
My eyes fall shut. This is it. I never imagine my life will end in their hands. “Noo!” even over the ringing in my ear I recognize that ferocious shout that distracts the arclaws from ending me. I open my eyes. A fearless Khysso faces the arclaws. I struggle for breath. I'm overwhelmed by his arrival. Yet, I now fear for his life, for there's no way to fight against them all.

“Khysso, no, go!” I beg
him.  Khysso ignores my pleads, and stands in front of me. The male arclaw snarls at him, strolling his way.

“Let her go…” Khysso commands
. But the beast doesn't appreciate his request. He strikes his claw to Khysso. “No!” I try shouting but my voice is raspy. The world halts, and my eyes can’t process what it has capture. Khysso grasps the arclaw’s wrist. He pushes the heavy arclaw away, almost plunging him to the ground, accelerating the others.  Aware of Khysso’s strength, they all growl and close in on us. “Khysso run!” I say almost in tears, my heart races. I fear for his life, but he is daring. Khysso removes his coat, abruptly roaring at them with the same tone. I’m confused with the happening.
Did he just...

“You don’t touch her! She’s mine!” Khysso growls, his body changing. The muscles in his arms and shoulders extend
, ripping his shirt, bulking up like one of the ferocious beasts. The crisp of his muscles stretch a distressful way that seems painful to my eyes. My mouth drops open. I’m overtaken by the occurrence. Khysso’s eyes turn greener and clearer, his pupils like a reptile.  His hands and feet become claws. The long fangs on his bottom and top mouth are apparent. My heart hastens, I can’t capture what’s happening. How can it be possible, why is Khysso one of them?

“Let her go!” he growls
once more. His transformation either intimidates the arclaws or they esteem his reality. They walk backwards. The branches that trap me release me. I can move my body again. I sigh in relief. I view Khysso, whom in his arclaw body seems stronger. Not wholly human, but excessively powerful. His dishonest eyes meet mine. His breathing dives out of control. The savagery within him rips my skin out. Again, the heat he produces in me overpowers me.

I don’t like his desirous stare. I hate what he’s doing to me. I move away from him, but he walks closer. I can see hunger in him. He’s like a starving lion
, ready to attack.  He stands so near I can feel his breathing prickling my skin.

“Khysso…” I whisper
frightened by his snarling. Has he turned on me? Could it be he sees me as his enemy? I’m trembling to his glare. Khysso snatches me by my cheeks softly compressing them. His touch embeds a high temperature in my body creating fire within. I wheeze, not able to inhale or feel. In a growl, he yanks away from me, his race appraising him. He ogles at me from head to toe, and in a strange pattern he begins to encircle me. The more he goes around me, the more my heart beats faster, and alters. Not able to sustain the heat, I frailly drop on my knees. It’s then I grasp, he’s claiming me as his woman. The heat in me extends consuming my life, and knocking me unconscious.

-
21
-

Distance

“Judyala…Judyala!” his voice is soft, embedding the worries of loneliness. The tip of his fingers caresses my cheeks, soothingly sliding to my lips, creating in me a tension that carelessly gives my emotions away.

I flip my eyes open
. At the same time, he jerks his hand away from me. Our eyes meet. I’m glad to see the arclaw in him is gone. He strains a smile. We are close, my head on his lap. His straight hair falls on his face. “Are you well?” He asks fairly indolent. I sit up. The memory of his transformation crosses my mind. The fact he’s one of them doesn’t change my concept of him, or my feelings.  “Here, have some water. You are pale.” He hands me a leather bota bag. I bashfully take it from his hand, my eyes on him. He encircled me like the arclaw class demonstrations. Can this mean Khysso claimed me? But what about Casandree, she's his true companion.

“You can easily give anyone a headache
, Zayras. What’s going on with you? Do you have a death wish?” He reproaches. The exasperation in him is conspicuous.  I press my lips together. “How did you find me?”  He exhales harshly, and distressfully stands straight, staring at me. He marches to his draghorn ignoring my question.

“We
will return to the castle. It is early, we still can make it. No one has noticed your depart. Come!” he commands patting the head of his draghorn, his spiteful attitude draws me away from him.

“I can’t go back.  I have to go home,” his eyes widen.

“Judyala, you have to return. It's not only dangerous out here, but you have broken the strictest rule. You have run away. If known by the heads, it is your life on the edge of a sword.” He appears to care more about my life than my own self. 

“I don’t care. I need to go a
sk someone a question.” I sass. He chuckles and gazes at his surrounding—nothing more but the dead wood with dying branches and a searing ground. But…what happened to the arclaws? With those muscles, he probably scared them away. He scoffs, his look taunts me. He pushes his hair back.

“
If that is the situation, then why are you heading northeast? Your home is west from Doomsvell. You’ve been going the wrong way.” His words make me feel foolish. And I thought I knew my way back. Thank the universe for Khysso.

“Besides, why would anyone want to visit a place simply to ask a question? Do you not know of magic book contact or
bird carriers?” I miserably bow down my head. How can I write this down in paper? This is too serious. He could never understand. “I can’t do that. It is vital.” He stares at me motionless. Khysso hops on his draghorn. “Very well, since it’s so important to you, let’s do it. I will take you.” I gasp. Shock by his decision, I thought he was going to force me back. But even if he takes me back I’ll just escape again.

“R
eally, thank you— how
did
you find me?” I’m dying to know. He beams a perfect grin that shakes my tension.

“Wherever there is danger…is Judyala.” There he goes again with that
dumb saying. “Come…or are you afraid of me?” He says deviously, that evil smirk does not show kindness. I bite my bottom lip. I wonder if he means afraid of his arclaw-body.

“You don’t scare me
, Khysso Shorewen.” I reply somewhat flirty. He stretches a hand of his to me, assisting me to the top of his draghorn. I bashfully give him my hand. The warmness of his hand causes weird sensations. With a tug of his, I reach up. My body against his back, causing a tender commotion in my heart. I timidly enfold my arms around his waist, assuring I don’t lose stability.  I feel calm in his arms, again my head twirls. A lightheaded sensation takes over me making me hold him tighter. I want to share my feelings with him, but the emotions are not mutual. Khysso rides quietly. The only sound I hear from him is his racing heart that thrust hard. By the speed of his heartbeat, I can tell there’s something in his mind.

Khysso
travels shunning the danger we encounter by taking secreted paths he knows of. As he journeys, I wish to ask questions that only he can answer—why did he leaved the class? Why did he hit Corr? Do you love Casandree? The thought of her grumbles my stomach, giving me a bitter taste.  But my pride overcomes me. I can’t demonstrate curiosity, although within me, I’m dying to know more of this mysterious man. The ride is dull, and silence prevails, so I automatically lay my head on his back, letting emotions control my reflections. “Don’t fall asleep. We’re almost going on the air,” he says softly, practically unheard.

“Why
do you transform into an arclaw?” The words slip out of my mouth. I can’t believe I just placed an explosion on him. He keeps still, riding ahead without a shift. “I do not know. It has happened since I was a child.” He utters.

“Maybe
, one of your parents was an arclaw.” I whisper. He groans.

“Perhaps, and you, what is your story?” He tilts his head to the side of a shoulder, his green eyes suddenly on me. “What do you mean?” I draw from him to meet him without trouble, but he quickly shifts his eyes back to the pathway.

“
You’re powerful. I have control over my arclaw body when around you. The arclaws didn’t kill you instantly. I figured there is a reason for this. Are you an arclaw?” I mock his question with a laugh. “Of course not, wouldn’t I be turning into one if I was?” My tone came out vulgar. He looks straight, avoiding me. I fear I said something that disturbed him. “But, I really wouldn’t know. I never met my mother.” I add carefully, seeking for a bit of compassion, but Khysso has nothing for me. With a tug of the strap, the draghorn’s wings extend, elevating to the sky.

It would've taken us long hours to get to Duolic, but with his great riding skills, we got there undamaged and early. I get down the
draghorn astonished he got to Duolic without asking. “I can’t believe you remember, and still you never returned my stone.” I scold him. He quietly laughs. “Come on, and hurry, before the leaders note your disappearance,” he says over his laughter. Khysso and I walk inside the town. By his foul expression, I can tell he's startled by my unworthy town. He stares around, astonish by my town’s poverty. “This is my house,” I point at my small grimy house, far from the town, and the prettiest of all homes. He strains a smile.

“I
’ll wait for you here. Be quick.” I take a deep breath and open the door. I’m not surprise the door is unlocked. Morgan always leaves it open, in fact, the entire neighborhood does.

It’s early morning, and surely Jorsay is in school. I walk in the house. The smell of mushroom soup overpowers any other odor.  The house is cozy. It's not hot like the outside. Star-shape-fans in the ceiling go in circle refreshing the environment, most likely
its control by neighborhood magic, like everything else. It feels nice to be home, yet, it no longer feels like home. On the family lounge, a woman reads a small leather manuscript, knowing Morgan it's probably a romantic novel. “Morgan!” I call. Morgan's eyes widen to see me. She drops what she’s doing and stands. Her startle face worries me. I nervously giggle. “Am I not going to get a hug.” I rebuke. She doesn’t hesitate. She runs to me and embraces me. Her kind motherly embraces I missed the most.

I sit on the family couch. Morgan hands me a mug of passion tea, sweet but fruity
, and sits next to me. I want to reject her invitation, but there’s no way anyone can refuse anything from Morgan, for her bragging will be never-ending.  “Tell me sweetheart, how is it? Are you happy?” Morgan ask smiley. I share a bit of my life in the castle with her. And of course, she’s shock a loner like me finally found friendship, especially with boys.

“Are they interested in you? Maybe we should talk about what bo
ys want. Honey…boys are pigs—”

“Morgan,” I inter
rupt her. She frowns. She hates interruption, but I seriously can’t talk about boys when there's a serious matter. “I came here because I need to ask you something.” I say as she sips her drink. She gives me her attention.

“What I need to say is dreadful,” she puts a hand on her chest. She swiftly becomes pale. “What is it? Is it about Jorsay?” I’m not surprised he's her first thought. I shake my head. I take a deep breath and
terrify by the outcome, I blurt out the truth about Papa and that woman, but what leaves me dumbfounded is Morgan’s cool reaction. She knows everything.

Sandrine Srovio is
everything I thought her to be, a pest, a predator, who went inside my father’s eyes by flirting, knowing he was a married man with children. Morgan admitted I was five years old when she found out about their relationship. But because the love she had towards me, she never confronted Papa, for she feared losing me. Instead, she let Papa have his mistress as she strongly raised us, being our mother, and our father.

I hug
Morgan as the memory of her past brings tears to her eyes. My poor Morgan has suffered too much, and still the thought of that woman makes her shiver.  It’s there I see my reality. All these years I’ve never appreciated Morgan, or saw her as a mother. All because Papa reminded me every day of a mother I never met. My entire life all I've done is question about my real mother, desiring her warmth, arms. But reality is, I’ve been having a mother all along, and she remained by my father’s side to care for me. Only a real mother would sacrifice everything for a child.

Morgan
and I embraced one last time. The thought of losing me again makes her weep. Even though Morgan knew about Papa’s mistress, she knows nothing of his death. I don’t dare to say the truth, for I don’t want to cause my mother any more pain. Her arms squeeze my back. “Why don’t you wait for Jorsay? He misses you. It’s been so hard without you.” She says as she pulls from me cleaning the small tear drops from the corner of her eyes. I stick out my bottom lip.

“I
have
to go before the castle finds out I’m gone. Tell him I love him. You got my letter, right?” She nods. “I’ll make one more stop to Srogeri and…” Morgan gasps. She slams a hand on her chest. Her color suddenly fades. Her devastated expression frightens me.

“W-what
… is everything alright?” I ask afraid by the terror in her eyes.

“Don
’t you know?”  Her voice cracks, her eyes swiftly reddening. I wrinkle my face. “Know what?” Tears rush down Morgan's eyes. Her hurting strikes me, for this means something is not right. “Judyala… Srogeri…he…he was executed.”

-
22-

Deadly
burden

It’s my fault he’s dead. It’s because he protected me, why Zorganther Srovio found Srogeri lies as a betrayer to his nation. That’s the reason why he came in person to our small town, to demonstrate to the people of Duolic, what he would do to deceivers. My poor Srogeri had to pay the consequences. He lived to protect me, and died doing it. Envisioning the ache he must’ve felt electrifies my senses. What were his last thoughts before that man slashed his sword through his neck? My poor old man had to feel so much fear. The only father left to me is now dead, and nobody or nothing can bring him back. He’s gone, and I'm the one to be blame. I should have never taken Jorsay’s place. I killed my old man.

I st
and in front of his burial. He’s buried beside his child, and the wife he once adored. I fall on my knees, and although I've tried not to show weakness, this time my needs overcome my wants. I can’t help my emotions. The pain scorns me. I break into tears, sobbing like a small child. The ache I’m feeling possesses my soul— shatters my heart. “Srogeri, don’t leave me. Don’t leave me alone.” I hear myself say in desperation, digging my nails to the dirt, angry at him for leaving me without saying farewell
. I can’t do this without him
. Zorganther Srovio has taken everything away from me. He has taken from me the two people that meant the world to me, my father and my guardian. That man has to pay.

Strong arms embrace me from behind as I hysterically cry. His touch takes my breath away. Because of the tenderness of his bo
dy and the burning, yet calm sensation I sense with him, I instantly identify him. I turn to Khysso, and without caring about our indifference or my emotions towards him, I wrap my arms around him and cry on his chest, letting go of all my kept sentiments.

It is the day of the dance and as everyone joins the lovely activity, I sit in my room’s balcony still mourning my guardian. The last thing in my mind was
to return to Doomsvell. I wanted to search for Zorganther and get my revenge, but Khysso convinced me not to waste my energy. He swore I’m not the only one who wants revenge, and proposing to kill him, is finding my own death. Besides, nobody knows where he dwells in, but I’m sure the harlot of his daughter knows. Khysso was sweet. He comforted me until the end, his companionship rapidly dried my tears, but when we parted, again, I lost my energy, locking myself in my room and avoiding life.  

My friends were unhappy when I told them I wanted to be alone, and I rejected going to the dance.  They even became angry at me, but to me, the dan
ce is pointless. To some people the dance is a way to erase troubles, and forget the truth— after this day the war is next, perhaps the end of us all. To Onnet, the dance is a way to get under the skirts of his favorite girls, for it’s the day girls are allowed into the male private quarters. To Ramuso, and Osys who are still immature, the dance is the day to kiss not one, but the many girls they like. Ikumus, like me doesn’t bother.  As for Corr, since he's the kcowl sector watcher, he's obligated to be a watch-guard. He asked me to be his date, but I refused so I can embrace my instructor’s death.