Having Fun with Mr. Wrong (32 page)

Her heart began to melt. What the hell? He
had
been good to her.

No. It ended here. Now. Once and for all. “Guido, we can ride this merry-go-round that our relationship has become until doomsday, but we’ll never move forward. We can’t recover from this. The dynamics of our relationship are intrinsically flawed, and that’s why what happened
happened
.”

He shook his head. “No—”

“That’s why you delved into that dimension. You should be free to explore all you want without the crippling effect of a wrong relationship. And our relationship has been wrong for a while. You know it. Half the time you’re aggravated about who I’m spending time with for business, and the other half you’re snooping in my personal records looking for, I don’t have a clue what—”

“I didn’t snoop. We share a computer. You can’t expect me not to see—”

“The point is that obviously our relationship wasn’t enough for you. You deserve the freedom to be who you are and maybe enjoy a partner who enhances you. And so do I. We need a clean, permanent break. I’m sorry, Guido.”

“Carmala, I think I’m that perfect partner for you. We can get through this. Your parents have been together for over forty years, and mine for as long as my father lived. Don’t you think they hit bumps along the way? Mama never remarried. We should let them be an example for us to learn from.” He opened his hands in a pleading gesture.

“I suggest you move back with your mama in Brooklyn. It will do you good to bond with her. But as for me, I need you to leave the apartment as soon as possible.”

“So you’re kicking me out? Just like that?” He pounded his fist on the table so that the silverware jumped.

The patrons looked over at them curiously.

He had a lot of gall getting mad. Camala kept her voice low, not wanting to cause a scene. “Who the hell do you think you are? You should have thought about what climbing into bed with Jon would do to our relationship before you did it. How do you think anyone could overlook that, Guido? It’s not possible. Hell, I wouldn’t forgiven you if it had been Margo, either. You don’t screw a woman’s best friend. Got it?”

“And how do I know you weren’t with the big shot, Michael, when you were in Palm Beach?”

“You don’t. But, at this point, it’s completely irrelevant! You no longer have a claim on me, and I have none on you. It’s over, Guido. That’s it. I need to go. Please stay somewhere else tonight. You can pack your things tomorrow, when I’m at work. Then leave the key under the mat.”

Carmala had come prepared with enough cash for the bill, quickly calculated the total in her mind, and left extra on the edge of the table. She got up from the table with a stiff spine and walked out of the restaurant.

Being with the wrong guy could be addictive. As a victim, she always thought it would turn out all right the next
time around. She’d been wrong. After every inane argument, she’d mentally given Guido one more chance, then another chance and another. Yet the same behavior repeatedly occurred. The old adage about the definition of insanity popped into her head. She often thought she could do the same action and expect different results. Maybe she was a little crazy.

Life with Guido had been exciting, but truly harmful and stifling.

No matter how hard they tried, they would end up in the same place. A dead-end relationship. She was like an alcoholic or drug addict who got excited after their first fix. These unhealthy relationships felt great initially. But, inevitably, the fix turned into a trap that kept her powerless. Any joy she’d once experienced had long ago disappeared. And like a moth attracted to the flame, Carmala knew Guido drew her, but she also knew, like the moth, if she stayed with him, she’d eventually die.

She’d tried to be gentle and graceful with her goodbye to Guido, but she left Delmonico’s without a glance backward.

If he didn’t vacate by tomorrow, she’d change the locks. Hell, come to think of it, after he removed his stuff she’d better change the locks anyway. He wasn’t on the lease, and she legally owed him nothing.

An amazing flood of relief washed over her at finally knowing the relationship had ended.

Would he give her trouble and refuse to go without drama? She could only hope it’d be that easy. But she wouldn’t hold her breath.

Chapter Twenty

It was Saturday morning. Carmala heard light snoring coming from downstairs.
Oh, no, Guido.
She padded over to the loft railing and peered downstairs.
Damn
! She’d asked him to sleep somewhere else, but instead he came to their apartment. Well, he’d better leave that day.

A slight pang of regret rushed through her thoughts, but she forced them out of her mind. She had resolved to end it and did what she had to do. Onward.

Carmala brewed coffee, poured a cup, and went into her room to call Margo, careful not to wake Guido. She’d hoped to make plans with her and sneak out without awakening, or really without having to face Guido again.

“Margo, I finally did it,” Carmala said in a hushed tone.

“Did what?”

“I ended it between me and Guido.” Carmala peered over the railing from her bedroom again. Guido hadn’t stirred.
Good.

“You’re kidding? Are you all right?”

“I need to come over. Stay the night, if it’s okay with you.”

“Of course. Pack a bag with a change of clothes. “

“Thanks. Gotta go.” Carmala scrambled around, throwing things in an overnight bag. She in no way planned to come back to her apartment until she knew Guido had packed his things and left.

She scribbled a note to him.

Dear Guido:

I’m spending the day with Margo. I trust you to gather your personal things and make your way out by nightfall. Please leave the key under the mat.

Sincerely,

Carmala.

Before she left, she took one more hard look at Guido. Not an ounce of sadness or regret reached her consciousness. No feelings at all. He’d killed every one last one of them.

She exited the apartment, quietly closing the door, locked it, and made her way to the Long Island railroad station.

Thank God, he hadn’t woken up. When she returned, she’d officially be a single woman again. Still, the question nagged her brain, just a little. Did she do the right thing?

****

Guido woke up to find Carmala gone.

His first thoughts skipped to the scene last night. Shock still ricocheted in his brain. Did she really break it off? Or was it only a bad dream?

Nope, it happened, all right.

He couldn’t let her go. She was everything to him. What was he supposed to do without her?

He read the note Carmala left on the coffee table. She signed it “sincerely.” Really? That’s what they’ve come to? Just a simple unemotional goodbye?

His eyes blurred. She meant it. They were through. He blinked back the tears. He refused to cry. He rubbed at his eyes to stop the tears. He hadn’t cried since his dad died.

His chest ached as he glanced around the apartment, the apartment they’d decorated and made a home together. The ache gripped him, hard, as the emotions hit him. He’d lost everything in a matter of twenty-four hours. God, he’d been a fool to toss it all away. He should have known he couldn’t trust Barlo to keep his mouth shut.

He needed to pull himself together. Figure out a plan. If Carmala didn’t want him anymore, he couldn’t force her. He read the note again. Sadness overtook him. He’d wanted to marry her, for God’s sake.

Guido removed the apartment key from his key chain. He stared at the piece of metal in his palm. It represented all that was important in his life. Happiness with the woman he loved. Hope for a wife and family. He wouldn’t give up so easily. Especially not after one little incident.

He gripped the key hard in his hand. The jagged teeth bit into his skin.
Dammit!
He’d
really
fucked up.

The thing with Jon and him, it meant nothing. They were friends. Sure, Jon and he had bonded. And he’d enjoyed the time with him. Maybe too much. But it was just a one-time thing.

Okay, so he’d cheated. Just that one time. Other relationships had survived much worse. He and Carmala could still salvage their relationship. What did it matter that it happened to be with a same-sex partner? Everyone experimented at least once. Why not him?

Carmala would come around, eventually. For now, he’d honor her wishes. His heart was heavy, but he packed his belongings, purposely leaving a couple of shirts and a pair of jeans, just in case. He locked the door for what might just be the last time and placed the key under the welcome mat, as she’d asked.

Would he ever step upon this welcome mat again?

Yeah, he’d be back. It would just be a matter of time. He and Carmala were meant to be together.

Outside, he flagged a cab and headed to Brooklyn. This wasn’t the end, he knew it down to the very cells of his soul. If it took him the rest of his life, he’d get her back. He may have royally screwed things up. But no one deserved her more than he did, and he intended to prove it.

****

Safely encased in her best friend’s embrace, Carmala let out the sobs. Sobs of relief. Some girl time would make everything better.

Margo tugged Carmala into her foyer and closed the door behind them. “I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve prepared a scrumptious meal, and we’ll have our favorite wine, too.”

“Margo, we’re
not
going to stay in this house today. It’s beautiful outside.” Carmala thought again. Did she really feel like going out? Maybe not. “You look as though you could use a little color.”

“I got fresh air this morning when I did my jog around the driveway for thirty minutes.”

Carmala sighed and shook her head.

“I’ve really put a lot of effort into these preparations. I’ll bet you skipped breakfast, huh?” Margo grabbed Carmala’s hand and led her into the kitchen.

Carmala went along, numbly.

“Okay, before we do anything else you’re going to have something to eat and drink. Do you hear me?” Margo put her arm around Carmala. “Come on, you sit down, and I’ll get us a glass of wine.”

Margo’s kitchen looked cozy with candles lit, a delicious spread on the table, and a bottle of red wine already opened on the kitchen island. Margo served them a glass of wine and sat down at the table with Carmala. “Now spill it. What has he done now?”

Carmala told the Guido story—the good, the bad, and the ugly. “So, Margo, maybe this is all a saving grace. I’ve been questioning this relationship for so long.”

“I know, but it’s still a shock. I can’t believe he cheated on you,” Margo said, her forehead creasing. “Just when you think you know a man, he throws you for a loop. Like Timmy did to me. And, honestly, I don’t understand cheating. It’s not the way I work or think. Tim could have ended our relationship before he…” She shook her head. “But let’s concentrate on Guido.”

“Yeah, I know. And Guido, of all guys. Supermacho, possessive to the point that I couldn’t look at or talk to a man without his third-degree cross-examination. I would have never thought
he’d
cheat on
me
. Here I was questioning my happiness, and before I could wrap my mind around ending it, he beat me to the punch. Now, I have to get a grip on the fact that Guido may be bisexual.”

“Who knows, maybe Jon and Guido will become an item.”

“The entire thing has got my horns twisted. It’s still too fresh. I can’t even appreciate the obvious attraction. The way the two of them got on whenever we were together. I mean, I was happy they’d become friends. However,
never
in my life would I have expected them to become lovers. Now that Guido
and
Jon broke my trust, I lost my boyfriend and my good friend all at the same time.” Carmala paused, swirled her wine again and took a deep sip, allowing the dry red liquid to calm her mind.

“I know.” Margo squeezed Carmala’s hand.

“I just don’t get it. Guido and I were in a committed relationship. Having great sex regularly. Yet he still felt the need to go outside the relationship for something else. Do you think it’s because I wouldn’t do certain things with him sexually?”

Margo chuckled and shook her head. “No, Carmala. I’m sure it has nothing to do with what you did or didn’t do. It’s his need to bond in a way he didn’t with you. I’m almost sure of it. Guido bonded with Jon in a way he couldn’t with you—man to man. I have to agree with Jon, though. It wasn’t planned. Guido acted on an impulse. And with Jon, gay or not, he’s a guy, and men think with their cocks.”

“If Guido didn’t plan this stuff with Jon, why did he ask to go over to Jon’s after breakfast? Jon was supposed to be my friend. I asked that bastard to keep Guido company, not have sex with him. What a fool I am!” Carmala slapped the table. “After all the energy I’ve spent constantly massaging Guido’s ego, and then he does this? And with the one male friend I never considered a threat. I hate them right now.”

“Carm, really, you can’t blame Jon. Well, not totally. It takes two for any affair. But Guido slipped into his bed and seduced him. What do you expect?”

“Oh, nothing much, maybe a little loyalty from a guy who calls me his best girl friend.”

“I know you’re angry now, and that’s good. Once you get through the anger, you’ll come to accept that it’s the best thing for you. You wanted a way out of the relationship anyway. So now you’re finally free.” Margo got up to refill her glass and brought the bottle of wine to the table.

“I don’t know. I thought this was what I wanted. He’s been everything to me for so long now. I don’t know how I’m going to do this alone. Maybe I was selfish and didn’t consider his needs enough. Perhaps my own success went to my head, and even though I knew he felt left out, I somewhat ignored him. And then he slipped away.”

Margo shifted in her seat and leaned forward, her gaze intent. “Take it from me. I suffered a similar guilt with Timmy. But I clearly ignored him and spent very little quality time because of my work. You, at least, were with Guido for most nights. You worked out together. He was insecure, Carmala. I mean, you couldn’t go for drinks with your clients without him giving you trouble.”