Having Fun with Mr. Wrong (31 page)

“I’ve never taken advantage of anyone. And certainly not Guido. Yes, the man was drunk as a skunk while we were out. I’ll give you that. But he sobered up during the limo ride. We went to a diner and had breakfast before we went to my place. I offered to give him a ride home, but
he
insisted on staying at my place. Said he felt lonely with you gone all week. Who was I to deny him?”

She racked her brain. No way. She calculated the sexual encounters she’d had with Guido since she’d been back from Florida. Yes, they’d made love more than once. Not since the wedding. But, God, she’d definitely had had sex with him since she’d returned from Palm Beach and that would mean…

“Please try and understand, Carmala. We had a lot of drinks and laughs. At the beginning of the night, we went to dinner and hit a couple of straight clubs. He asked if I’d take him to an after-hours men’s club, and initially I hesitated, but he insisted. I thought it odd. Then, he backed out at the last minute and didn’t want to go. I suggested the breakfast, and he agreed. Afterward he wanted to go to my place. I made the couch up for him. I have no idea what got into him. It could have been an isolated instance of bi-curiosity. I swear to you, I didn’t mean for this to happen. I felt bad for him, poor thing. He kept going on and on about not feeling good enough for you. That you would leave him and get a rich Wall Street guy. He put his head on my shoulder and whimpered like a little puppy dog. What else could I do but comfort him?”

Carmala pushed her plate aside. Nausea threatened to take over. She sipped her water. “You must have done something to entice him. You called him beautiful when you first met him. And I always knew you had a secret crush on him.”

“Maybe, a little. But I never intended to hurt you. You’re my friend. As I said, I made up the pull-out couch. We had a fabulous time, as friends, all night long. I said goodnight and went to bed alone, with the door closed. And, then, completely out of the blue, he slipped into my bed stark nude and started spooning me.”

“I don’t believe it. No matter how drunk he could have been…I—I can’t imagine this. You’re lying. You had to have seduced him. Did you slip him a date drug, like a roofie?”

“Carmala, I don’t go where I’m not wanted. And I certainly don’t force anything on a straight man. It’s extremely difficult giving you these details. Anyway, he got in bed, he’s spooning, and it felt so good. I couldn’t help myself. I got aroused, he grabbed me and started going down on me, and the rest just happened…but it
definitely
was a one-time thing. He acted embarrassed the next morning. He apologized and said he loved you very much but repeated that he just felt inadequate next to you. He swore me to secrecy. He absolutely begged me with tears in his eyes. He said it wouldn’t happen again, with me or anyone else, for that matter. I believed him.”

“Right. I’ve heard enough! How do I know he’s not sneaking around Greenwich Village searching for a good time on other nights?”

“Carm, I understand that you’re upset. I couldn’t keep my promise to Guido. Your friendship means too much to me, and you deserved to know. It’s been eating at me ever since.”

“I’m so glad you were able to get this off your chest. Why did you betray my trust? How could you?” She shook in her seat but attempted to calm her voice. “This has to be the vilest act you could have committed against me, and you have the guts to tell me how much our friendship means to you?”

“Okay, Carm, vile is a little strong. Yes, it was a betrayal. I’m deeply sorry for that. I’m trying, with all my heart, to come clean. Please forgive me.”

“How was it different that night? We party every time we get together. You’ve seen Guido and me get drunk. You’ve been with him alone before. Yet you never lost control of your cock. You couldn’t contain yourself for the sake of our friendship? Jon, you knew he missed me and yet you poured liquor into him?”

“Carm, it will never happen again. We’re not perfect. We all make mistakes.”

Yeah, and who was she to cast stones here? She’d gotten pretty hot and heavy with Michael Maddox. Yet she’d chosen not to cross that line. She hadn’t had sex with someone else.

And she didn’t betray her man with
his
best friend.

“Has he called you since?” Carmala demanded.

“No, he’s asked me to keep it quiet. He told me I wouldn’t hear from him again.”

“You know, I don’t care what he said. He’s followed me around and has been suspicious of my behavior and intentions, when I’m simply trying to conduct business. Then, the lousy bastard has had the audacity to betray and
defile
me—our relationship!”

Jon sneered. “You keep using the word ‘defile.’ It sounds like you’re more bothered by the fact that he had a homosexual encounter than anything else.”

“Let’s not get into the gay thing. I’m defiled because he had sex with someone else and then had it with me.”

“Okay. Carm, I will do everything in my power to make it up to you. However, the two of you have many other issues going on. Frankly, you haven’t been happy with him for a long time. You know it’s true.”

“Don’t preach to me about my relationship.” She paused. The incredulity of the situation muddled her mind. “I guess he’s not totally straight. That has to be what’s been going on with him.”

“Let’s not get carried away here. People experiment all the time. Didn’t you, Carmie?”

She searched her mind for some justification for Guido’s behavior. “Come to think of it, you did encourage him, practically flirting with him right in front of me. From the moment you asked him to walk you to the bathroom to ‘powder your noses’ like two schoolchildren. Really, I find it hard to believe
he
made all the moves.”

“Carm, as I have tried to explain, neither of us planned it. Can you accept that it just happened? Let’s figure out how to move on.”

“Accept what? That he is forever different, possibly gay or bisexual?”

“Acting on bi-curiosity doesn’t necessarily mean that a person is bisexual or gay. He tried it out. But it’s not for him.”

“So says you. And curiosity doesn’t excuse him from jumping into bed with a man who happened to be one of my best friends. And for your information not everyone has a college try.”

“What else do you want from me? I tried to do the honest thing and come forward with this matter.”

Carmala stood up and threw her linen napkin on the table. “Jon, I’ve had enough of this conversation.” He pushed his chair back, but she put her hand up to stop him. “Don’t bother calling me…ever!”

Carmala stormed out of the restaurant and out into the plaza. Tears burned her eyes and fell down her cheeks. She pushed past the bellhops and went onto the street to hail her own cab, to no avail. The skies opened up, and an immediate downpour battered her. She had no umbrella. Rain soaked her clothes and hair before she made it to the subway entrance.

On the subway ride home, Carmala stared blankly at the ads for clubs, clothing stores, and jewelers. Her gaze stuttered at seeing a gay escort ad—her heart sank another level.

How had they come to this? God, she thought she knew Guido. Who’d have thought he’d go
there
?

Why did she always pick the wrong men? First, Anthony in high school, then a stagnant relationship with Bill in college, and now this.

Did she only find excitement with men who used her as a doormat?

When would she find an equal partner? Someone she could connect with on all levels—emotionally, physically and spiritually. Someone who was, as the Catholic sisters called it, equally yoked?

She got off the subway near her favorite coffee shop and dashed through the rain for a warm up with a skinny latte. She needed to think through her next steps. There was no doubt about it: she’d have to end it with Guido.

As she stepped out of the shop, she bumped into Jane and Bill.

Great.
Now she had to smile for the happy newlyweds.

They didn’t see her at first, but Carmala called out to them. “Hi, guys, how are you?”

“Oh, Carmala, it’s so nice to see you.” Bill gave her a hug and kiss. “You’re soaking wet!”

“Are you just getting home from work now?” Jane asked.

“Yes, I…ah, I’m working on a big project. Got caught in the rain.” She glanced at her watch, not wanting to continue the conversation. “I need to get dry, I’m going to run. Nice to see you two.”

“We’ll have to get together for lunch sometime,” Jane offered.

Carmala nodded. “Sure, I’ll call you.”

She walked into the apartment close to eleven. Guido sat watching television. He smiled and jumped up to give her a kiss and hug.

Carmala recoiled, sickened by his touch. He’d cheated on her for God’s sake. The same man who had tortured her about interactions with men who were clients. Unbelievable. She pushed him away. “I’m sorry, Guido. I had a difficult day and got bad news. I have an extremely early meeting tomorrow morning and a pounding headache. Do you mind sleeping on the couch tonight?”

She couldn’t get into it with Guido tonight. She was utterly exhausted and emotionally numb. She’d get some sleep and face it tomorrow.

He looked taken aback for a moment. “Okay, babe, no problem. You get your rest.”

He tried to kiss her on the lips, but she turned her cheek. How could she bear to have his lips on her now? Or have his thing in her after where it had been? And maybe with others.

She quickly fell into a deep sleep.

The next morning Carmala initially woke up in a good mood, until she remembered Jon’s confession. She peered over the loft railing to see Guido peacefully sleeping on the couch. No turning back now. This relationship was gone, no doubt about it.

She dragged herself to the bathroom, showered, and dressed for work. Business as usual. For today, anyway.

She snuck out of the apartment, careful not to wake Guido.

Where, when, and how would she finally cut the cord?

****

Carmala went through the motions at work, still feeling numb. She was reviewing financials for a potential client called Clean Air America. The company specialized in upgrading preexisting residential and commercial air ducts to an eco-friendly model.

She completed her review amazed at the depth of her concentration. Confident in her ability to wrap a presentation by the following week she called the client to arrange a meeting time.

With her tasks at work done, Carmala needed to figure out what to do about Guido. She thought the best way to break it to Guido would be in a public place. And she might as well do it in style, let him down easier. She’d make reservations at Delmonico’s for dinner that night.

She called Guido at lunchtime, got his buy-in, and then reached out to the restaurant. Guido said he’d stop off at home after work to get dressed for the occasion. The occasion…if only he knew.

At seven, Carmala sat in a mahogany booth in the Delmonico’s bar. Her heart pounded, but she was more ready than ever to make the move. She glanced around at the business people gathered around her. Wall Streeters, lawyers, and judges deep in conversations, discussing the affairs of the day. It all seemed so ordinary when her life, or at least the most important relationship in her life, was about to be dissolved.

She belonged here, in this kind of upscale environment, unattached and free. She’d take a long break from the relationship scene. It’d be a while before she’d even consider a casual date. And it’d be a long, long time before she’d let another man into her heart, that was for sure.

On the plus side, it would be a relief not to answer to Guido’s barrage of questions about where she’d been, who’d she met with, and what they did. She remembered a time, which now seemed like ages ago, when he’d lurked outside the same restaurant’s very window, spying on her and Marc Blass. Yup, freedom did have a good ring to it right about now.

Or would it? Her confidence wavered when Guido walked in, looking so handsome. He’d obviously dressed for what he assumed to be a happy occasion.

Damn.
She made a mistake coming here.

He kissed her cheek and winked.

Maybe she shouldn’t do this now.

Maybe she should give them another chance. Talk about it at home.
Their
home.

Carmala took her drink and said, “Let’s go into the dining room.”

They greeted the host, who seated them in a quiet area near the large portrait.

Oblivious to her agenda, he sat down, and they chit-chatted about frivolous matters and placed their order for dinner.

Throughout dinner, Carmala’s mind tormented her with indecision. Should she pretend as if it never happened? Guido told Jon that it would never happen again. Maybe he meant it.

They’d finished dinner and ordered coffee but no dessert.

As she prepared to broach the subject, her heart pounded in her ears. She had to, at least, tell him she knew what had happened between him and Jon. She’d start there.

No, she would stick to her guns. He needed to move out. “Guido, I have to tell you something.” Her voice shook.

He took her hand, his face reflecting concern. “What’s wrong, babe?”

She gently pulled it away. “Guido, I found out about your rendezvous with Jon. I don’t want to hear about the whys or the hows. There’s no denying it. Under the circumstances, I’m sure that you can see there’s no romantic future for us. We need to end our relationship. Now.”

He appeared impassive. He probably was in shock. But maybe Jon clued him in. She didn’t care.

“Carmala, I never meant for this to happen. It’s as though a new dimension opened up that night.”

Oh my God
. Maybe he truly
was
bisexual. It didn’t matter. She’d come this far; she meant to end their relationship and that was it.

“I still love you, Carmala. You need to understand. I can’t begin to think of another man loving you, being with you, confiding in you. I’ve had to share you with all those needy clients for so long. I’d like to put this thing behind us. Maybe it will make us appreciate what we already have. Maybe we can grow closer, despite what happened. Please, reconsider this.” He had tears in his gorgeous, big brown eyes.