“Your skin is so soft. It’s perfect.”
I bit back a denial and just enjoyed the sensual combination of his touch and his words.
My hands fisted on the belt loops of his pants.
Dex bent his head and kissed along the low neckline of my top. His tongue snaked out to lick the small hollow between my breasts and then he tugged my shirt up further, glancing up to my eyes to make sure it was okay.
And yes, it certainly was.
He cupped each breast in one hand and just held them for a moment. Then his mouth descended again and he kissed the pebbled tips and then outward, laving the dusky pink roundness. The gentle circling lulled me into a trance-like state, one he jarred me out of when his teeth closed around one nipple. But instead of pain I felt intense pleasure stabbing through my core.
“Mm. I guess you like it rough too, sometimes.” His voice was a coarse whisper.
In response I drove my hands under the waistband of his pants, touching the warm skin over his narrow hips.
“Bloody hell, Becca.”
He kissed me again, but kept his fingers dancing over my breasts, lightly playfully driving me insane. My hips began to shift uncontrollably as he nibbled at my bottom lip.
“God,” he said raggedly. “Less clothes. Please, less clothes.”
I gasped out a “Yes,” and started pulling at mine and his mindlessly.
He did the same and we ended up in a tangle of arms and fabric for a brief moment, drawing soft laughter from both of us before we managed to coordinate the effort. Finally his naked chest met mine and it felt like heaven. Skin against skin we kissed and groped, hands kneading flesh, lips pressed hard enough to bruise.
Dex’s hands skimmed over my hips and he lifted them, letting me feel how hard he was for me. I groaned and writhed against him, desperately wanting what I would not let myself have. Not like this.
The realization cooled me a bit and I stopped the kiss.
“What’s wrong?”
“I…there’s something I need to tell you.”
He bent down and took my earlobe between his teeth. “Whatever it is, tell me later.”
“No, I should…” But the words faded away when his hands danced under the waistband of my shorts and over the pale skin there. I couldn’t tell him yet. Couldn’t stop this insanely erotic and perfect experience. There was still time. Still more playing to do. More feeling to do.
“Good,” was all he said before sliding down to kiss my stomach. His tongue darted inside my belly button and then lower.
Tugging the shorts down – they were my favorite pajamas, a bright green with white musical notes dotted all over – he revealing the boy-short panties that cradled my wide hips and large butt.
Dex looked up at me from between my thighs and if I hadn’t been lying down I would have certainly fallen. The raw, carnal hunger in his eyes was overwhelming, and wonderful.
He traced a finger over the bottom of my panties, over the soft curls hiding my most intimate flesh. “May I?”
The question itself almost brought me to climax. “Hell yes.”
He grinned wolfishly and then his face disappeared. Pushing my underwear aside he found my core with his fingers and mouth. I shut my eyes and sank into the delicious madness of his touch.
Dex licked along my crease and then circled his tongue over the distended bundle of nerves at the top. Every muscle in my body tensed and moisture pooled under where his fingers teased my entrance.
“More? Do you want more?”
“Please,” I panted.
He obliged, sliding one long digit inside me, caressing my tender walls.
A vision of what we must look like flashed behind my eyelids. Me, sprawled shamelessly on the bed with one of the most gorgeous men I’d even seen kneeling between my legs. He was still wearing his pants and his long hair tickled the skin above my mound.
But when Dex added a second slick finger to his questing and sucked my clit into his mouth all thoughts left me. I turned into a mass of quivering pleasure as heat coiled tighter and tighter inside me. He thrust slowly and shallow, curling his fingers to hit that perfect spot.
I shattered explosively, rocketing into outer space until my mind was gone and only my body was left to grip his shoulders tightly and shake with the intensity of my climax.
For his part, Dex rode every shudder, slowing and speeding up as if to guide me further along the path to ecstasy. And he did just that. Before the first convulsions stopped a new wave of pleasure crashed over me and it started all over again.
I screamed his name and pulled his hair, unsure if I was trying to pull him closer or push him away. Not that it mattered. He kept going, playing my body with the same passionate dexterity he used on his bass guitar.
Finally I started to cycle down as his pace slowed. My heart was still pounding in my ears but I could hear again and open my eyes. “Dex, please. No more,” I breathed.
He slid his fingers away and planted a soft kiss on my dewy center before climbing back up next to me on the bed. “You okay?”
“Okay? I don’t think I’ve ever felt so wonderful in my life.”
“Oh really? That’s nice to know. But,” he continued, running his hand up over my belly and to my breast. “I can think of one thing that might feel even better.”
I knew what he meant, of course. And the reality of the situation crashed down on me, leaving my skin cold and my heart aching. “I-we can’t do that.”
“If you’re tired that’s okay. I’m not in a hurry. You can rest up a little.” He smiled and leaned over to nuzzle at my neck.
“Dex, no.” I sat up and shifted so we weren’t touching. I looked away, unable to see his face when I finally admitted the truth. “We can’t at all. I’m not ready for that.”
“Oh.” The tiny syllable spoke volumes of disappointment, frustration and confusion. “That’s okay. I just thought…it doesn’t matter.” I couldn’t stand the hurt in his voice.
“No, wait.” I turned to face him and grabbed his hand. “It’s not that. I do want you. But I-I’ve never...done that. I mean, done
it
.”
His mouth gaped open with surprise and he looked down at his hands. “Seriously? Oh god. Did I hurt you?”
I let out a tiny laugh. “No. I’ve done that part before. Just never gone all the way or whatever.”
He smiled slightly. “Oh. Okay. Um, wow. Uh, I don’t mean wow. I mean, all right.”
His flustered inability to find the right words soothed my own nerves. I slid back over next to him and wrapped one arm around his waist.
“I should have said something before. But I didn’t want you to stop. I still don’t. There are a hundred things I want to do with you tonight. Just not that one. Okay?”
“Of course.” He tucked a hair behind my ear. “Anything you want and nothing you don’t.”
“Thank you. You’re sure I haven’t spoiled the mood?”
“Of course not. As sexy as you are right now? Being in church with my dentist couldn’t ruin this mood.”
“You are so weird sometimes.”
“And you’re incredible. All of the time.”
I smiled and blushed.
“Look at that,” he said, grinning.
“What?”
“When you blush it goes all the way down your chest. Mm.” He leaned over and kissed along the tops of my breasts. “I like that.”
“You don’t have any questions or concerns? Want to talk about it?”
“Of course. But later. I’m busy right now.”
I laughed and fell back on the bed as he went back to lavishing my breasts with loving attention.
Keeping the secret from him felt silly now. I should have known he’d just be Dex about it. Take it in stride and deal with what was in front of him. At the moment he seemed like the perfect man. Maybe the one I could finally trust enough to just go for it completely, holding nothing back.
It wasn’t a decision I needed to make immediately. He seemed entirely content to stick to what we were doing. More than content, actually.
And for the next few hours we shared passion and connection, fulfilling each other’s desires completely without crossing the line. It was, like Dex, perfect.
The next morning I woke up alone. Sad at first, I cheered up when I saw a note on the hotel stationary on the pillow next to me. The note read, “Had to make a phone call about my family. Miss you already. Dex.”
I grinned, read it over a few times and then hugged the paper to my chest.
What a night
.
Unfortunately the world and my boss weren’t interested in my romantic reverie. My cell phone rang and I groaned as I reached over to grab it.
“Yes?”
“Rebecca. I need you to take care of something for me. The crew says a few boxes were left at the venue yesterday.”
“Oh, how strange. Everything was checked off the inventory before we left.”
“I know. Look, I’m very busy today. Please just handle this.”
“Of course, Ryan. I’ll get right on it.”
“Fine. Keep me posted.” He hung up without saying goodbye.
That conversation reminded me that I was not on vacation. I was here to work. And part of my job was not getting involved with the band members. The part of me that could still feel Dex’s arms around me, his lips pressed against mine didn’t care.
But the rest of me remembered the hospital bills, sublet, and stress that caused me to need this job. I sighed. Dex and I would figure it out together. For the moment I needed to focus and get moving.
It ended up taking most of the morning to find the missing items and get everything else squared away for the trip north to our next stop. But for the first time in as long as I could remember, being busy with work didn’t distract me at all. If anything it annoyed me. I wanted to be with Dex, finding out about his father’s condition and whether or not he was going to see the man. And then maybe spending a quiet, lazy afternoon together.
Instead I was lugging boxes, reviewing charges with hotel employees and trying to find DVDs of the movies the band requested that would play in the European machine the bus was equipped with.
But eventually everything was done. Or, at least I ran out of time to do things in. After checking all the rooms we’d used for anything left behind, I went downstairs to meet the others for the next leg of the trip.
I’d been extra nervous about my clothes this time, donning a casual A-line dress that skimmed my rounder parts and gave the impressing my legs were a little longer than they really were. I’d also left my hair down and put on a little makeup.
But once I boarded the bus it seemed I shouldn’t have bothered at all. Dex barely glanced my way. I had wondered if he’d be distracted with the situation involving his father, but it never occurred to me that all his attention would be on playing some stupid video game with Rick.
Fighting to keep a smile on my face I greeted everyone and checked in with Ryan about the afternoon’s efforts. Once everything was crossed off the departure list I told the driver we were ready and took my seat on the bus – as far away from Dex as possible.
As if she sensed something was wrong, Liss came over and sat next to me as we drove out of the city. “Hey, Becca. What’s up?”
“Nothing. How are you, Liss?”
“Great. I really like your dress, by the way.”
“Thank you.” I wasn’t in the mood for small talk. “Is there something you need?”
“No,” she said, a look of confusion on her face. “Just visiting.”
“Right. Well, thanks. I hate to be rude but I’ve got some work to do. So if you don’t mind…”
She frowned and then nodded. “Of course. Um…talk to you later I guess.”
“Yes.” I buried my face in my notebook, feeling like the biggest jerk in the world. At the sound of Dex’s laughter I adjusted that. Second biggest jerk in the world.
I seethed through the first two hours of the trip, ignoring the work I should have been doing to make lists of reasons Dex had decided to pretend I didn’t exist and then narrowing it down to a top three.
One, he was freaked out about my status as a technical version. He could think it meant I’d never have sex with him, or that I’d want to get engaged first or something.
Two, he could have realized he didn’t need to waste his time with a neurotic chubby girl when an entire continent of hotter girls were willing to do any and everything with him every night of the week.
And three, he had just wanted the challenge of getting me in bed after I’d made it clear I wasn’t interested. Even Ryan’s strict rule forbidding any fraternizing could have made it worthwhile. Like a game. He’d won now and didn’t have to pretend to be interested anymore.
It seemed most likely to me that the truth was some combination of the three. Which made me want to punch him. Sick father or not, it wasn’t fair to mess with my job and my heart like that. Assuming that story was even true.
He certainly didn’t look like a guy worried about anything. After finishing the game he grabbed a beer and went to sit in the back with Joe to work on a couple of arrangements for songs.
Shit
. Had I just fallen for a pile of lies? Been fooled by someone I had been warned about. Dex and his conquests were talk of many gossip sites and he’d never denied it once. And I thought what? That both of us having dead mothers meant we were bonded? Special?
How stupid. An entire life spent watching men like him and I’d still fallen for it. Worse than fallen. I’d jumped at the chance to get his hands on me and shared my deepest secret. He was probably laughing it up about that one.
What a jerk
.
Except, in the back of my mind, behind the fear and hurt, a tiny voice told me I was being unfair. That we had shared something special and he deserved the benefit of the doubt. Hell, I knew he was good at hiding what was really going on inside him. And dating me was off limits. Staying away could be his way of helping me keep my job.
I tried to see something; any evidence to confirm what was going on, either way. But every time our gazes met he smiled pleasantly and then turned away like we were just new coworkers. It was maddening.
My brain told me it was over. A night of wonder and passion, and in the past. But my heart reached for him, cherished his attention, clinging to every kind word and interested glance we’d shared. It was certain there was a future, unsure but promising and worth the risk. A chance that Dex really was the man who could make me knock down all my walls.