Guarding Hearts (Living Again #3) (23 page)

Our time is coming. It’s all set. No one is going to have you but me, ever again. I won’t be foiled this time.

He tapped his pen on his desk, pouring over the notes on the case he was working on for the thousandth time in the last hour. He couldn’t concentrate. Over the last few weeks, his life had gone to shit. First, he had had to deal with the fact that the world now knew he was a juvenile delinquent with a shitty childhood. Carl had been right, it didn’t affect his job at all, for which he was very grateful.

Then, he had to see Mandy on the television almost daily, talking about his son and what he had done to get his parental rights revoked. When he had first seen her, his mouth had dropped open. She looked just like his mother had. Anger had coursed through his veins as he thought about his son growing up the way he had. And what did Mason think of all of this? Did he now know who he was? Did he want to find him?

Ellis had retained an attorney to try to help him with getting in touch with Mason, but he wasn’t sure how far he would be able to go with it, seeing as how his rights had been terminated years ago. He couldn’t bear the thought of sitting by and letting Mason grow up with Mandy for one more minute. He had even called child welfare services in New York, but other than taking a report, there was nothing they would tell him. He felt completely helpless.

On top of it all, he felt the loss of Sam like a missing limb. He had only known her for two weeks, but he felt so much regret about how he left things and all of the things he wanted to say. Carl thought he was in love with her, but he wasn’t even sure that was a feeling he would recognize. He missed her, and desperately. He fell asleep thinking of her, dreamed of her, and spent his day fighting with himself to not turn the television on just to see her face. She was still plastered on every magazine. There were still reporters that were camping outside his house and office, though Andrew wasn’t standing for any of it here. The local police had been wonderful.

He knew she was doing a press conference in an hour. He was so nervous for what she was doing this for and what she was going to say. He was shocked that her dad was allowing it, but Sam had already started standing up for herself more before he left.

He had also seen countless pictures of her with Sean, Brian’s son. He knew that Amelia had passed away recently and he’d seen the pictures of them from outside the funeral home as well. Sean’s hand was always on her back, and Ellis could see the look in his eyes. Sam might not see it, and may not reciprocate, but Sean was in love with her. They had been friends their entire life, and he knew that Sean had probably loved her for just as long. He would be better for her than he was. Sean was a good guy, a police officer, and wouldn’t bring any drama to her life. Ellis wouldn’t be surprised if he saw an announcement about them being a couple before long.

He had talked to Devin a lot since returning, though he really didn’t have much choice. He found that talking to him and telling him the whole story made him feel a lot better. Now Carl wasn’t the only one that knew everything. He wished he had done it sooner.

The only thing about telling Devin, though, was that he was now relentless on his insistence not only that Ellis figure out how to get his son, but that he go back and talk to Sam. As much as his very soul yearned to run back to her, he knew he just couldn’t. She’d still be seen as America’s Sweetheart if it wasn’t for him. She would never have to be putting herself out there doing a press conference to clear the air if he had never given into this desire to have her. He was toxic. He had known it his whole life, and that was why he had never been close to anyone.

“Ten minutes,” Devin announced, flipping on the television in their office. Ellis narrowed his eyes at him, and he ignored him. “You’re watching the damn press conference, Ellis, because I know you’re dying to. You can sit there and pretend to be all macho guy, but it just isn’t working. Listen, I know. We’re these tough guys that see all kinds of crazy shit for a living. We aren’t supposed to be emotional. But, you know the story of Rachel and I and the years we wasted. Do you really want that to be you?”

Ellis cringed. “Devin, you and Rachel are soul mates. Look at you two. You’re the perfect couple. I’ll never be that with someone.”

Devin snorted. “I’m not even justifying that. You know what both of us went through while we were apart. Especially Rachel. It was fate that brought us back together, Ellis. There’s no explaining it otherwise. Just like it was fate that brought Sam here, needing extra security so she would meet you.”

“I don’t believe in that shit,” Ellis growled, shoving his chair away from the desk. “It was fate that I ruined her life? That my son now knows that his father is a piece of shit that got all of his rights taken away?”

“Ellis,” Devin said calmly. “You didn’t ruin her life. And yes, I do think it was fate. It’s possible that you could go get your son from a bad situation, save him from the path you were on before someone saved you. Have you ever thought of that?”

Ellis stared at his friend, anger bubbling through his veins. He wasn’t mad at Devin. He was the only friend he had ever had. He was mad at himself. He wasn’t even sure which thing he was maddest about.

“This is Lindsay Price from WKTV in Nashville, Tennessee, coming live from outside Silver Lining Productions, the label for Samantha Kerrigan. Samantha won Country Star last year, and her career has skyrocketed. Lately, though, her name has been riddled with controversy surrounding her bodyguard, Ellis Warner, a Florida police officer. He had been hired to do private security for her because of a stalker that was harassing her. It’s rumored that they became an item during this time, and some events surrounding the alleged stalker, transient Tanner Bauer, which brought a damning video to the public eye, followed by private information about said bodyguard. Samantha has called this press conference, backed by her manager and father, Samuel Kerrigan, and her label. We’re waiting on Samantha now. She’s created quite the buzz with calling this conference, so we wait to see what this is all about.”

Ellis scanned the background, waiting to see her come out. He knew seeing her would be painful, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away. He could feel Devin watching him, but he said nothing. The door swung open, and Samantha emerged, flanked on either side by her father and what must be her label rep, who he had never seen. She looked stunning in a tasteful cream suit and heels, her hair up in a twist, and her makeup light.

He sucked in a breath involuntarily as her eyes seemingly met his in the camera. He could feel Devin looking at him, but he couldn’t take his eyes from hers. The current that was always there when he looked at her was coursing through his veins. A pain shot through his heart, pulling one of the strings loose that was holding his broken heart together.

Devin had the good sense not to say anything to him, because he was wound tight as a spring as he waited for her to start talking.

She smiled her professional, cool smile, clearing her throat. “Good afternoon. Thank you all for being here today. I’m sure you all have heard the controversy surrounding me and my former bodyguard, Ellis Warner, and I’m here to put this to rest, once and for all.”

Hearing his name roll off her tongue, that Southern accent making it sound like she said ‘Aiyl-is’, he couldn’t stop the warmth that crept throughout his body. He wanted her. He missed her.

“The stories surrounding both of us are very upsetting to me, so I want to clear the air and set a few things straight. First of all, if you are someone that gets off on making other people miserable, shame on you. I know the almighty dollar is very tempting, but for you to try to take down someone that I care about just to make money is vile and disgusting.

Throughout this, the real issue has been overshadowed by the video and gossip that has taken on a life of its own. The truth is, there was a sick guy who was stalking me. It started with flowers and jewelry that appeared in my dressing room when no one put them there, and escalated into sick notes, pictures, and a break in to my hotel room while I was touring in Florida. He’s the whole reason I had to add security to my team, and that’s where Ellis Warner came in. He’s a professional, the best in his field, and that’s why he was hired. While he was with me, we spent 24/7 together. We’re both adults, and we made a mutual decision to start seeing each other.

Even though that’s no one’s business, I have to address it, because that’s what the press has done. See, none of this would’ve been out at all if it wasn’t for the stalker that tried to ruin my life. The video that everyone is trying to ruin my career over? That was a private moment in my dressing room that was taped by a man who was out to get me, wanted me for himself. Yet no one seems to care that I was held at knifepoint in my dressing room by this individual and was saved by Ellis Warner and the rest of my security team. I wouldn’t be standing here right now if it wasn’t for him. This man that has been harassing me for months wouldn’t be in custody if it wasn’t for him. Mr. Warner has a past. So what. We all do. I’m not worried about what he did when he was sixteen or how he got where he is today, and you shouldn’t either. Find someone in this world that doesn’t have a backstory, including every one of you. Now you are paying his ex-girlfriend to talk about him and defame his son in front of the entire world? Shame on you. It needs to stop. Today.

Another thing. The other man that you’re trying to get to do an interview with you? He was my high school boyfriend. He doesn’t have anything to say to any of you, so leave him alone.

Every radio or television station that I see running this story from this moment on, will never get any press from me at any of my events. Same thing for magazines. If you are more worried about spreading gossip and hurting people, then I don’t want to be associated with you. My label and my management team will be keeping a close eye on every press source, so every one of you need to decide right now what your stand is on spreading hate. For that matter, every one of you owe an apology to Ellis Warner. He never did anything but save my life and show me what it’s like to care for someone unconditionally. One more thing,” she paused, wiping a spot under her eye. She swallowed, and he knew she was fighting breaking down. He wanted nothing more to get on a plane right now and swoop her off that podium and into his bedroom. God, he missed her.

The camera panned in on her eyes, and he held his breath. “Ellis, if you’re watching this, I’m sorry. You saved my life, and I ruined yours. I hope someday you can forgive me. No matter if I never see you again, I want you to know that you changed my life.”

With that, she stepped back and walked away, back into the glass doors of the building. Ellis sat, staring at the screen as it blinked back to the anchor on the news station, who started rambling about Samantha being a brave young woman who stood up to the press and gave an ultimatum, and that they and all the people at their news station supported her completely.

Devin whistled, snapping Ellis’ attention to him. “Tell me you’re going to get her, man. She just told the entire world that she’s in love with you.”

“She didn’t say that,” Ellis argued.

“Dude, don’t be a dumbass. She didn’t need to say the words, and you know it. I saw the look on your face the whole time she was talking. She just did an entire press conference to defend you, and she gave an ultimatum for the entire population of vultures. Stop telling yourself that you can’t do this, and for once, follow your heart.”

Ellis knew he was right. The urge to go to her was so strong; he was barely keeping himself in his seat. “She’s leaving tonight for Baton Rouge. Her first show is tomorrow night.”

Devin tapped his watch. “Time’s ticking.”

Andrew walked out of his office. “Go, Ellis,” he said, stopping in front of his desk.

He looked at his boss, then Devin, then back. He had nothing to say. After a moment, he nodded, standing up. “Okay. I’ll be a few days.”

“Take as long as you need!” Andrew called from behind him.

All he knew was that getting there was only part of the battle. The rest was making it up to her for him being a giant idiot and convincing her that he really did have a heart in the cold recesses of his chest.