Going Thru Hell (5 page)

“They fear you and your guardians.” Bru slid in next to me, hand in the air to grab the waitress's attention.

“I don't think that is all of it.”

“Smart and clear thinking.”

I gulped the last of the beer, held up the mug in a silent request for a refill. Sizzling sounds preceded the arrival of chicken fajitas. My stomach growled at the wonderful smells and thoughts of food.

Chapter Eight

The impulse to run lingered. Back in my room, thoughts running wild, Bru sitting quietly on the couch sharpening her Viking sword, I paced. It wasn’t easy deciding who died and who lived. Would I sacrifice others for my family? Hell yes. I knew the inclination was wrong, I just didn’t give a damn.

“Why did Aki seek me? Don't give me the
‘he promised’ line either.”

Bru put her diamond sharpener on the coffee table, carefully sheathed the priceless sword and met my eyes. “First, complete the ceremony to bind us together. Then we can speak of events.”

I swallowed hard. “Explain what it means and entails, first. I don't want any more surprises.”

“We'll have a
bond, able to feel each other, much like fiber optics used in communication. I'll be able to help you heal a little faster, find you, share my emotions with you.”

“What do you get out of it?”

“A chance to help mortals against my brethren. A boost to my hero complex.” She shrugged.

“Sounds like you are getting the short end of the stick.”

“No. I've waited a long time, and this is my reward for patience.”

I stared at her, trying to decide. Instinct
said bond with the Valkyrie. After several moments, I nodded.

“Come sit next to me, this won't hurt.” She
offered a graceful hand. I grabbed it and sat next to her. We turned to face each other on the couch.

“Now what?”

“I am going to speak an incantation, in English for you, and you accept the tendril that will bind us together as sisters, as friends, and my promise of loyalty.” She took my other hand and gave solid eye contact.

“Let's do this.” I gave a brief nod.

“
Loyalty beholden,

Sisters and Friends together,

Thoughts and feelings shared.

Let the gods never cleave in two

What I merge into one.
”

Her voice rang with power, echoing through the room
. A tendril danced up an arm and speared into my brain. With gritted teeth, I accepted the bond. Ice and flame engulfed my soul, searing it, cauterizing the many wounds. Blurred pictures of an unknown past whipped through the internal movie screen, emotions crashing in a wave so strong I cried out. My heart hurt, pounding hard and fast, causing my entire body to vibrate with the violence. Threads appeared, but a graceful hand moved them aside, soothing the need.

“Come, Braider, wake up and know we are united.”

“I should have asked about the actual feeling of bonding first.”

“Would it have made a difference?”

“Probably not, but it would've been nice knowing what was coming.” I wiped off the sweat, pulling away. I felt her disappointment, and the elation at acceptance.

“Do the threads appear any time you feel threatened, Kylie?” She gently pushed curls out of my face.

“Yes. But I've never been able to brush them aside. You, yes?” I panicked for a moment, the situation began to feel a little too real. I shared myself with an immortal.

Oh, bugger. What have I done?

“Easy, easy, Kylie. Look at me. Breathe slow and deliberate. You agreed to survival. Come on.” Her hand rubbed circles on my chest. Her worry over my well-being filled the area she currently covered.

“No. No. I've endangered them all.” The band around my chest tightened, threaten
ing to break me apart.

“I'm so stupid, I should have told you. I am loyal to you. Meaning I will gladly harm anyone that dares threaten you or yours. My power is yours, Kylie. Calm yourself. I can't hold the threads. Braiding will not undo what I have just done.”

Memories of those I loved, fought so hard to protect, sacrificed for, continued to flash across my line of sight.
My child. Oh gods, my son.
The threads appeared again, hot, throbbing, blowing apart any sense of self-preservation. I had to save my family, to keep the gods away from them.

The decision milliseconds from be
coming reality, I heard a yell. A large body rolled me onto the floor. It jolted me back to reality, enough to regain control.

“Come, lass, control. You remember how to handle emotions, come on. Before you make a grave mistake. Easy, lass, easy.” The deep, rumbling voice close to an ear, a huge hand caressing the curls from my
forehead.

I burst into tears
. I pushed Aki off, and curled in a fetal position. The tears fell, while heavily muscled arms gently picked me up and settled me in his lap. A female form pressed against my back even as I uncurled and wrapped around Aki. The two held me in a tight embrace, no judgments, no words to shush. I understood, in that moment, they accepted all of me, a comfort in and of itself.

Chapter Nine

I woke to both of them sitting at the end of the bed, a hand on each ankle, expressions inscrutable. “What?”

Aki's large hand slid up and down a calf, lightly massaging the tense muscles. “Waiting to see how you fare.”

“Confused.”

“She tells the truth, Berserker.” Bru's hand mimicked Aki's, the motions unraveling the knots.

“Bru? What all do you feel from me?” I narrowed my eyes. Hopefully, if what I suspected was true, she wouldn't voice the on
e thing guaranteed to embarrass.

“Everything, little sister.”

I smiled, relieved. We'd talk later, I could see it in her eyes. I pushed into a sitting position, shoved pillows behind my back, relaxed into the fluffy goodness. Aki followed to keep contact with my leg. Bru let go physically, but I could feel a tiny thread streaming thoughts and emotions between us.

“Now that the breakdown is over, anyone want to tell me the current state of events?”

They exchanged a glance. The smell of honey, desert, herbs and ancient spices filled the room. I closed my eyes, wishing he'd stayed gone.

“Come in, Amun.” I sucked on my teeth. It'd been too long since I'd felt so much, so deeply. It
was rather disconcerting to have a high level of emotions after fifteen years, and to find my hatred for Amun ran Grand Canyon deep.

Bru and Aki stood,
turning to the door in unison. In perfect timing, they went into a battle stance, swords appearing out of nowhere.

“I see you have gathered a Valkyrie and Be
rserker to your side, Braider. Chosen sides?” Amun walked towards the bed, ignoring the show of potential violence.

“I see you haven't learned any lessons and continue to believe your arrogance will force me to your side.”

“Bitchy becomes you, Braider.” He smiled.

I wanted to puke. I d
idn't have to move, Bru stepped in front of Amun's path.

“Egyptian, she now controls my
loyalty. Careful you don't overstep.” Her voice sent chills down my spine.

Amun's
expression, on the other hand, made me laugh. He stepped back quickly, bowing slightly in submission. Fairly sure if he'd had a tail, it would have been tucked tightly between his legs. “If you have bonded with a Valkyrie, Braider, you will carefully choose who wins,” Amun stated, not meeting my eyes.

“Nope.”

“Favoritism? After all of your lectures?” He met my gaze, anger in the mahogany depths.

“Enough, Amun. Leave.” Aki moved forward.

“I do not take orders from a lowly Berserker.”

I wanted to scream at the two males to shut up and get the hell out. I'd have to pay for any damages, but another side of me delighted in the idea of a good fight.

Where in the hell had that come from?

“Take it outside, guys. Don't damage anything in the hotel room.” I pointed at the door.

Amun ground his teeth, jaw muscles twitching. “I will not engage the barbarian.”

“W
ell, damn. I had money on Aki. I'm sure I can count on you to spread the word.” My smile wasn't pleasant.

He growled and disappeared.
I knew the look in his eyes. I jumped out of bed, grabbing clothes from the suitcase. A shower and then ... something. I needed to quit procrastinating, develop some sort of plan, figure out what part I played in this mess.

I missed Grandma and her advice.

The thought brought a memory. I was twelve, sitting on her front porch, staring at the snowcapped mountains crowding the horizon. Grandma spent the time showing me how to cook, bake, sew and crochet. Her seemingly unending energy contained within a bent body, once jet-black hair turned white and pulled back in a tight bun, her Inupiat features beautiful because of the shining intelligence and kindness. Telling me stories of ancestors, she brought out the old daguerreotype photos of family long dead. The connection to her and the land as strong within my breast as the heart pumping blood through my body. For the first time in my short life, I didn't feel like an outcast, misunderstood, or the target of puzzled glances.

“Grandma, why do I see the gods?” I
asked, using my foot to gently push against the porch, relaxing in the motion of the pine rocking chair.

“Do they visit you, honey?” Her hands stopped the lightning fast movements of crocheting a new pair of mittens.

“Not lately. A lot when I was a baby. But why do I see them and nobody else?”

“My granddaddy used to say they lived on a plane outside of our own. We are special enough to see through the curtain and into their world.” Her hands started again.

“Can I get rid of them?” I twisted my hands, the real question begging to be asked.

“No, my heart. Now, tell me what has happened.”

“They scare me. I'm afraid of the things I see in my head when they are visible.” I stared at the mountains.

“What do you want
to do when you see the strings?”

“I want to make them move, to create an ending I like and want. I'm bad. I wanted to get rid of Nancy after she called me names on the playground.”

Grandma stopped, reaching to grab my arm. “Oh, sweet baby. Such feelings are as natural as the air we breathe. That doesn't make you a bad person. You didn't act on them, did you? No. But you have power to change the world, in a very literal sense. It can destroy everything and everyone you love.”

“Why? Why me?”

“I don't know. But pay attention to your instincts and never use it on a whim. Always look at the ending logically, honey. The price requires it to be used only sparingly.”

I remember vividly her hand on my arm,
the mottled brown, thin skin, long fingers slightly twisted with age, but warm and soothing to my pre-teen angst. Her advice to watch out for immortals and their ever-reaching need to submit all others. Her words to listen to my instincts. The words brought me to the present.

Listen to my instincts.
The phrase circled around my head a few times.
Oh, how stupid could I be
? The entire time, I'd been listening to fear, not my instincts. Being emotionally stunted apparently muted the normal volume of gut reactions.

I took a shower, dressed and went to find the two currently arguing on the couch. They shut up the minute I stepped out of the bathroom.

“All right, what are the two of you arguing about this time?” Something said it had to do with me.

Aki cleared his throat, “Uh, nothing.”

“Yeah, right.” I walked out the door, leaving the two of them to stare after me. I needed some time alone. I'd snagged my purse on the way out and searched it for the truck keys. When my fingertips grabbed the oversized key fob, I triumphantly held them aloft. I jumped into the truck, cranked the powerful engine and left the hotel parking lot. Glancing in the rearview, I noticed two people running after the truck, waving at me to stop.

I managed to find my way to the interstate, heading east.
The radio blared, drowning the background traffic noises as I contemplated the current situation.

The favors I'd called in a few days ago could be felt, the vibrations of battles humming at the back of my brain. Fenrir wouldn't be able to hold off Thor for much longer, meaning he and his sons would be after me soon enough.

Modi’s yearly visit was only five days away. He'd make his normal demands, and I'd tell him to kiss my arse. With the battles coming more often and tempers flaring, he might not take my answer in stride as he'd done for the past eight years.

The miles passed without notice. Part of me wanted to braid, to go back to when I was nineteen and hormonally stupid. In a way,
the little transgression put me in the situation at hand. Another side, the human part of me, screamed at the thought. While I'd be out of the current predicament, I'd sacrifice many other things and people. My soul rang out against the thought of losing more.

On the inner screen, I could see the colors of my soul. It glowed bright lime green and radiant gold. Black spots occurred over the area of my heart and womb, pieces taken in payment. I felt sadness and took a moment to realize it wasn't mine, but Bru's
response to the missing pieces. I could feel her emotions, knew she could see and understand the losses. Yet, I'd do it all over again, even with the outcome.

I found a small town and turned around. For the first time, I let the strings appear without fighting the images. I watched and memorized each ending. Nobody was in danger, at the moment, and I'd seen a few answers to unasked questions.

I parked the truck, slowly getting out and watching for any surprises. So far I'd been kidnapped, bonded to a Valkyrie, followed by a Berserker, vaguely threatened, and, if the spidey senses were tuned correctly, the recipient of sixteen immortal stalkers of various pantheons.

I
schlepped to the room, tail between my legs. I owed the two of them an apology for being a first class jerk. The door opened to Aki standing with his arms crossed, giving me a fierce expression.

“I'm sorry. It was childish of me to leave in that manner.” I tucked my hands in the jean pockets, watched my toes wiggle in the tennis shoes.

“To hell with it.” I heard his deep whisper just before he picked me up and kissed me. It was almost violent, claiming, and made my body flush with heat. Despite his hardened expressions, his lips were soft and warm, moving against mine, forcing me to open to him. The minute he sensed my submission, he upped the stakes. His arms pulled me into him, every inch of me against his long, lean, muscled body. I moaned, appreciating the show of dominance. Without realizing it, my arms wrapped around his neck, my hips moving slowly against him.

“Oh, shit. Stop Aki! Stop!” Bru's voice interrupted, parting the fog of need clouding my brain.

A strong hand tossed me like a ragdoll to the couch. I blinked and glanced at Aki in time to see Bru's fist connect with his nose and a bright blue bear flicker. A distant growl roared through the room and Aki charged Bru. The two tussled a few minutes, somehow careful not to wreck any furniture. They broke apart, breathing hard and turned to stare at me in sync.

Bru pointed a finger in my direction, “You, young lady, know better!”

“What?” My voice sounded breathy. My body hadn't yet calmed, hormones raging and body in serious need.

“You know what will happen. You know the consequences!” Her voice rose with each word until the last was screamed in my face. I couldn't argue, she was right. The end result could be disastrous.

“I'm sorry, okay? But wanting touch and warm skin isn't a fuckin' sin!” I stood, dusted off imaginary dirt and straightened.

Her face changed, sympathy filling her features. “I know. I know. Damn it.”
Hands on hips, she began to pace.

“What the bloody hell are the
two of you talking about?” Aki frowned, face flushed, bright eyes flicking between Bru and me.

“Uh, well, kind of hard to explain, and to be honest, I don't want to. But, for safety reasons, don't kiss me again. You'll have more control than me.” I backed away as my head began to clear.

“Too damned bad, Braider, I found you.”

I turned to face the big blond standing behind me. He wrapped
brawny arms around my upper body, pulling me into a tight embrace as we disappeared from the hotel room.

Modi
had arrived five days early.

Nausea and dizziness consumed me
, followed by a rather rough landing on top of a laughing Modi. I pushed against his chest to sit up.

I glanced up, seeing he’d brought me to Valhalla, Odin’s place for warriors. The realm of legend was nestled in a valley, with warm air, high, majestic mountains, bordered by a clear lake. The sky remained a perfect turquoise blue dotted with clouds. The air permanently smelled of spring.
A quarter mile away, several log cabins were situated not far from the water, a few built into the mountainsides. Viking warriors were housed within the cabins, waiting for Ragnarok.

A movement from Modi reminded me of where my butt was currently situated and I met his eyes.
I remembered the same heat from nine years ago, the green eyes and blond hair with copper streaks. I closed my eyes, shuddering at the remembered strength of his body, the feel of his skin sliding against mine, the hours and days of pleasure. I hated him while simultaneously loving him for it. The outcome would never be regretted. As a result of the memories, I punched him in the face. He laughed harder.

“What the hell are you doing?” I jumped off his massive chest, moving away.

“Why do you ask ridiculous questions? You know the answer.” He stood in a graceful motion, popped his neck and stretched in a move showing off his beautiful, masculine physique. If nothing else, he was pure eye candy.

“We are
not
married!”

I turned to face him, doing my best to control the urge to punch him again.

“Wrong, Braider, we are. By several belief systems
,
and your own government.”