Girls Only! (12 page)

Heather’s face drooped a bit. “Really? Well, let me tell you about fearless.” She began to describe in detail several new stunts she and her ice-dancing brother and partner were learning. “One wrong move, or one half inch off, and my head’s crashing into the ice! Now, if that’s not daring, I don’t know what is.”

Jenna spoke up. “You’re right. Both you and Manda are the thrill seekers.”

Livvy said no more. Obviously, she wasn’t going to fight for a slot on the most-daring list. Not tonight.

Jenna knew what truly motivated Livvy. It was all about excelling in her sport and had nothing to do with thrills and chills. Liv had already gone through a frightening experience. Nearly one year ago, her mother had lost her battle with cancer. Jenna was positively sure her best friend was more cautious than the other club members because of her deep loss.

The official start of the Girls Only meeting began with prayer. Jenna usually prayed, but instead, she asked Livvy Hudson, the vice-president.

“Dear heavenly Father,” Livvy began, “thanks for giving us the chance to come here. Help us stay focused on the things we need to learn and perfect. For your honor and glory, we pray these things. Amen.”

After the prayer, Manda stared at Jenna. “What’s wrong—why didn’t
you
pray?” she asked, sitting cross-legged at the foot of her mattress.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Jenna replied quickly.

“Right,” mocked Heather Bock. “You can’t fool us.”

Manda twisted her dark locks. “My guess? Something happened today. Something got you off on the wrong foot.”

“Hopefully not one of the coaches,” Heather said smugly.

All three girls were staring a hole in her. Jenna knew she’d have to level with them sooner or later. “Time for the reading of the minutes,” she said, ignoring them. “Will the secretary please bring us up-to-date on last month’s meeting?”

Heather’s eyes widened. “I didn’t bring along the minutes notebook,” she confessed. “I didn’t know we were having a formal club meeting.”

Jenna looked at Livvy and shrugged. Manda and Heather exchanged glances and frowned.

“Maybe you could
recite
the minutes from memory,” Jenna suggested.

Manda grinned. “Yeah, and we’ll help fill in any holes if you forget something.”

“Me, forget?” Heather joked.

“Well, there’s no forgetting the Passion Play we performed last month,” Livvy pointed out. “Remember that?”

Only three of the girls had been involved in the creative presentation called
Resurrection
. Manda had gone to Kansas for Easter, so she couldn’t be in the play.

“Remember those quick changes we had to make, because each of us played two different parts?” said Heather.

“I thought it was supercool,” Livvy said softly. “We should make it an annual event.”

“Right, and next year Manda gets a lead part, okay?” Jenna said, tossing a pillow at their Hispanic friend.

“Oh, I can’t wait,” Manda said sarcastically. “But what I want to know right now is, what’s bugging
you
, Jen?”

Scratching her head, Jenna pretended not to hear.

“C’mon, don’t do that,” Heather protested.

“Do what?” Jenna said, frowning.

“You know” was all Heather said.

Unexpectedly, Cassie and Lara flounced into the room. They were sharing the space in two more bunks. “Are we interrupting anything?” Lara asked.

“Not really,” Jenna was quick to say.

“Oh, it’s your club thing, right?” Lara said, standing taller than ever.

“Actually, I think we’re finished,” said Jenna. “Aren’t we, girls?”

Manda was shaking her head. “Not till you answer my question,
President
Jenna. What’s bugging you?”

Jenna felt the heat rise into her cheeks. “I say the meeting’s adjourned.”

“Okay, have it your way.” Manda got up and draped her arm around Heather. She whispered something, and both girls glanced Jenna’s way.

“Hey . . . no secrets,” Livvy said, obviously sticking up for Jenna.

But Jenna didn’t care if Manda and Heather talked behind her back. Besides, she had every right to keep her opinions to herself. No way was she going to say why she was ticked off. Mainly because she was so upset with herself.

Better Than Best

Chapter Eight

Jenna tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable in bed. The narrow bunk, probably a twin-size, seemed smaller than that. At least it wasn’t lumpy like the mattresses at other sports camps she’d attended. Something to be thankful for!

When she finally
did
fall asleep, she dreamed she was riding bikes with Lara Swenson. The wind was in their hair as they flew over the bluffs on the outskirts of Alpine Lake.

Midway down the hill, she realized her feet didn’t reach the pedals. Surprised, she saw that the bike was a minibike with training wheels!

This is crazy. I know I’m bigger than this!
She panicked.

She awakened with a start and sat straight up in the bunk. The dorm was dark and still. The other girls were sound asleep. Lara Swenson was snoring. Livvy, in the next bunk, was half in, half out of bed, with one leg flung over the side.

Slowly, Jenna leaned back onto the mattress, wondering about the weird dream. Was she so worried about her size that her subconscious had kicked in with the ridiculous dream?

She decided she would try to brush it off. She would wake up in the morning and probably forget the bike dream ever happened.

Forgetting the dream is exactly what Jenna
tried
to do, except that during breakfast, she could think of nothing else. The dream about riding a beginner’s bike plagued her thoughts.

Is that really how I feel about my body? she wondered. Am I too small for who I want to be?

“Hey, wake up, daydreamer.”

Jen looked up to see Livvy sitting across the table from her. She had a fruit plate of fresh strawberries, bananas, apple slices, and a bran muffin. “You look wiped out, and the day’s just starting,” said Livvy. “You okay?”

“Sure,” Jenna replied. “Did
you
sleep all right?”

“Sure,” Liv said flatly.

The girls’ gazes met and held.

“So . . . how’s it feel?” Livvy said.

“What’re you talking about?”

“Saying ‘sure’ when you don’t mean it.”

There was no getting around Livvy Hudson. She knew and understood Jenna through and through.

Sighing, Jenna took a long drink of her orange juice. Then she said, “I did a lousy thing.”

Livvy kept her focus on Jenna, never flinching. She’d pulled her hair back into a tight ponytail, snapping on a Scrunchie. The intense look in Livvy’s green eyes got Jen’s attention.

“I’m a pastor’s daughter. I should know better,” Jenna said softly.

“Doesn’t make you perfect, does it?”

“But still . . .” Jenna sighed. She really didn’t want to tell Livvy what was on her mind. But knowing Livvy the way she did, she hardly had a choice.

“I think deep down you want to tell me, Jenna. C’mon, you know you can trust me.”

Sure she could. Jenna knew that. But . . .

“Is this about your hang-up . . . you know, over your size?”

“Maybe.”

Livvy leaned closer, nearly in her face. “Or is this about Nels, the new spotter for your team?”

Jenna thought about the peculiar dream. She remembered the way she’d deceived Nels on purpose. She thought about tiny Lara Swenson passing up Cassie Peterson in height, all in a few short weeks.

“I’m a rotten person, that’s all,” she said at last.

Livvy was shaking her head. “You’re
what?
”

“You heard me. I’m rotten—I lied.”

“Who to?”

“Nels Ansgar.”

Livvy’s eyes were blinking nearly out of control. “Well, since you’ve confessed, maybe you could explain.”

“There’s nothing more to say. I just did a dumb thing.”

“So . . . apologize to him, why don’t you?”

She was silent. What would Nels think if she said she was sorry? He might want to know the truth.

“Jenna?” Livvy reached to touch her hand. “What’s wrong?”

“I wish I knew,” she blurted out, tears welling up.

“Maybe you should talk to someone,” Livvy said, glancing around.

Feeling worse than ever, Jenna nodded her head. “Sure, I know who I can talk to. Besides you, Liv.”

“Who?”

Jenna whispered, “My mom. She’ll know what to do.”

Livvy withdrew her hand. She looked hurt.

“Don’t misunderstand, Liv. I just need to ask Mom something.”

“Okay,” Livvy said, “but if you get things figured out, will you let me know?”

Jenna smiled. What a great friend she had in Livvy. “I’ll think about it,” she teased.

“You
better!
” Livvy gathered up the trash from both trays and waved to her. “We’ve got ballet class in ten minutes.”

“I’ll catch up with you.” She drank the rest of her juice and picked at her whole-grain toast. The bike dream loomed in her mind. Just then Lara floated past Jenna’s table.

From where Jenna sat, Lara seemed to have grown another two inches or more overnight. This was too much!

She groaned and hurried out the door without speaking to Lara or anyone else. There was a public telephone in the lobby of the sports center, if she hurried, she could call home and have a quick chat before the first session of the day.

Mom won’t think I’m silly
, she thought.
She’ll be glad I called
.

Dad answered on the first ring. “Your mother’s busy with Jonathan,” he said. “Shall I call her to the phone?”

“No, Daddy, just tell her I was checking in.”

“Having a great time?” he asked.

She told him about the national team coach. “Ever hear of Sandy Williamson?”

“Male or female?” Dad asked.

“Sandy’s a man, and he’s one terrific coach.”

“I’m sure if Coach Kim chose him for this camp, you’re in excellent hands.” Dad had lots of confidence in Coach Kim and Tasya. He had interviewed them extensively before enrolling Jenna.

“Okay, well, I’ve got to hurry off to ballet now. Tell Mom I called.”

“Sure will.”

“Love you both.”

“We love
you
, kiddo.”

Kiddo
.

The word rang in her head like a bell. She couldn’t seem to shake free of it.

First Lara, then the dream. Now this!

Better Than Best

Chapter Nine

The pressure was on.

Coach Williamson, the national team coach, gave specific comments after watching each of the teams warm up and perform. Jenna craved excellence and wanted to learn all she could from both coaches. Tasya, who was always nearby, especially at the uneven bars or the balance beam, made helpful corrections or whispered, “Perfection is within your reach . . .
today
.”

Extra striving would go a long way toward testing to a higher level a few weeks from now. Jenna knew that well. Eventually, she hoped to win gold medals. Olympic gold. Being able to follow through and really deliver during the most intense pressure made one athlete stand out from another.

She wanted today to make a difference. She was determined to do whatever it took to get noticed by the national team coach.

All across the gym, there were younger girls—boys’ teams, too—working out. Colorful images of leotards soared here and there. The atmosphere was charged with emotional electricity.

Cassie was in a strange mood, though, and Jenna wondered why she seemed overly confident. A good trait to have, true. But this was very different from Cassie’s usual attitude. “I adore this leotard,” she said, pulling on the tight-fitting white sleeve. “I always do super well when I’m wearing it.”

“Sounds superstitious,” said Jenna.

“Maybe to you, but it’s not really. I just like the feel of it—the way it fits me. I have my red-and-white one that’s exactly like this,” she said, still stroking her arm.

“Did you bring the other one along for tomorrow?”

Cassie grinned. “You bet I did.”

Jenna watched Cassie work through some of the difficult skills in her floor exercise. Then it was her turn. She was glad because waiting around sometimes made her body stiff, like it was freezing up.

Be sure to wow the coaches, Jenna told herself. Knock their socks off!

She prepared to take her stance on the diagonal point of the carpet. While she paced, Coach Kim and Tasya called out encouragement. “Point your toes! Reach! Focus on perfection! Okay! You can do it!”

“Looking good, Jen!” Cassie called from the sidelines.