Frog Hollow (Witches of Sanctuary Book 1) (13 page)

“I’m a little stressed,” I admit, trying to shake out my muscles. They feel stiff and contracted, even down to my toes. I hear him chuckle at the same time I feel the water he kicked hit my skin.

“Drama will do that. Feel free to take a moment.”

It feels nice, de-stressing myself. I kick my feet wildly in the water, stretching my arms above my head, and let out deep, even breaths. The last several weeks are a lot to take in, and I’m not sure if a moment will suffice. “I’m not accustomed to this,” I blurt out, throwing my hands in the air. It feels good to get it off my chest, and I feel myself deflating as I talk. “I’m usually very dull and boring.”

“So was I. Circumstances can change a person.”

“I once thought I was incapable of change,” I say, remembering the days when I trusted no one, spoke openly to no one, and, above all, loved no one. “I’m amazed by how quickly and easily it all happened.”

“It can come as a surprise. The important part is to make sure you like the person it makes you.”

I think about that and how much I’ve changed in the past week. I think about being an Innocent or at least being able to accept my powers and learning to control them.

More importantly, I think about Julien and how easily I accepted him into my life, trusting a stranger with the most vulnerable part of myself. I look at the scar on my palm, remembering the way Julien looked at me, the gentle way he always touches me. I’ve become a person who believes people, despite their nature, can be good. The longer I stare at my hand, recalling the look of doubt on Julien’s face before he cut me, the stronger that conviction becomes. I like being this person, the optimist.

Zeke appraises me again, a smile sneaking across his face. “No regrets,” he says, giving me a playful push with his elbow. “That’s what I always say.”

I let out a labored breath, remembering how I woke up next to Julien this morning. All I can think about is how I hope Sadie doesn’t tell Reid. “No regrets,” I mutter.

It’s quiet for a moment. We’re both preoccupied with our own thoughts. The wind blows across the lake, brushing my face with a warm breeze that does little to stifle the heat. “So may I see the damage?” Zeke asks finally, leaning over to eye my hand curiously.

I didn’t realize I was still rubbing the scar.

I very slowly stretch it out in front of him and open my palm. He glances down at it only briefly before nodding. Then, before I can even react, he is splashing his feet in the water again.

“No lecture?” My voice shows my surprise.

“If you wanted a lecture, you would have gone to Reid.”

I can’t help but laugh, because he is right. I could practically recite the lecture word for word in my head if I wanted. I study him as he leans back on the dock, stretching his arms out above his head. “So why exactly did I come to you?”

“We all make mistakes.” He stares straight up at the sun. “It doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you human. I know about mistakes. I figure Sadie assumed we could wallow in the misery of the consequences together.”

I turn around to find him looking at me. He motions with his head for me to join him.

“Come on,” he says, “wallow with me.”

“Oh,” I whisper. “Okay.” I lie back on the dock next to him, shielding my eyes from the sun.

We lie there quietly for a few minutes until my curiosity gets the best of me. “What mistake did you make?” I ask sheepishly

He doesn’t answer at first, only giving me an ill-amused chuckle. “I’m dying.”

My head jerks toward him, and suddenly he looks even worse than he did before. His cheeks are sallow, and he winces as he adjusts himself again. He catches my panicked breaths and places a calming hand on my arm. “I have leukemia. I was diagnosed on my twenty-first birthday, six months ago.”

I gape at him, unnerved by the revelation but unable to follow his logic. “That can hardly be counted as a mistake,” I tell him. “You can’t help that you got sick.”

“You’re right,” he agrees. “But it’s what I did after I found out I was sick that caused the problem. As you can imagine, the news threw me for a loop. That night, on a crazed whim, I allowed my more irrational side to take control of me. He decided to do something the more responsible me had been too deathly afraid to ever do.”

I wait impatiently for him to continue, his eyes glossing over as he envisions his words.

“I saw Sadie on the square that night. She looked as beautiful and out of my league as ever. She was performing for the Sanctuary talent show, and I’d always been a sucker for her voice. She was in the middle of playing a song about a forever kind of love, and I just decided to leap onto the stage, pull the guitar from her shoulder, and kiss her like I only had minutes left.”

He twists his lips around in a painful frown. “Who knew that the gesture would sweep her off her feet, and I would later have to break her heart with the news of my illness?”

I lean up on my elbow, tears welling in my eyes. “That is tragic,” I croak, finally realizing the fuss about their tragic relationship.

He sits up, facing me almost nose to nose. “Willa, I know about mistakes.” He sighs, steadying me with his hand. “So it’s only right that you hear the truth from me.”

“The truth?”

He gives my shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Julien lied to you. You should have never let him get close to you.”

I swallow hard, my heart twisting in the same fashion as Zeke’s face. All the memories of the previous night come rushing back to me, and my hand clamps around the scar on my palm. “Well,” I say, thinking of what I could say to somehow combat his accusation, but nothing can deny the honesty in Zeke’s eyes. “Shit.”

“I’m sorry.” He frowns.

I purse my lips, attempting to hold in the disappointment that threatens to break me. Reid warned me not to trust him, but I didn’t listen. Julien swore he’d been completely honest and that everything would be fine, and I desperately want to hang on to that hope with all my heart. However, the old me already hardens to the point that hope is no longer an option. I am that distrusting, cold, and unforgiving girl again. The realist.

“Welcome to the club,” Zeke says, grabbing his chest in pain. He pats me kindly on the shoulder before lying back down on the dock and staring up into the sun again. “Now, shall we let the wallowing proceed?”

My head falls back against the hardwood, and the tears leak onto my cheeks. I hate being this person. I came back here for a fresh start, to connect with my past in hopes of growing out of my old ways, to finally be content with my life, but it seems I can’t escape it. I’ll always be the one holding back, too scared to give it my all. Zeke’s hand finds mine, and we lie silently on the dock, cursing our luck.

Chapter 12

THE JEALOUS KIND

I’m tipsy. It isn’t the first time, and with my track record, it won’t be the last. The bar is flooded with people, more arriving now that the sun has set and the streetlights outlining the square have come on. Everyone took Zeke’s offer for a night out, but none of them knew it was only an excuse to help us drown our sorrows. While the rest of them socialize out on the balcony, Zeke and I hold firm at the bar, sharing shots. Once I feel my head begin to swim, I finally gain enough nerve to ask the question that has been plaguing me all day.

“Why is it a mistake that I let Julien get close to me?” I ask a little too loudly.

Zeke looks around, checking for nosy bystanders before leaning in close to my ear. “He’s one of the Haunted,” he says, chuckling.

Zeke can’t hold his liquor any better than I can. Now I know why he invited the rest of the crew. We’re going to need help getting home.

“I’m serious.” I finish the remainder of my shot. It goes down smooth, which means I’m approaching my limit. “Sadie mentioned something about him being a little protective of me now or something.”

“Protective?” Zeke makes a face. “Try obsessed.”

“He isn’t a monster.” My voice doesn’t sound as confident as it did last night.

Zeke holds up his glass, his words in a slur. “He will be, Willa, one day. Make no mistake about that.”

“What do you mean?” I ask around a lump in my throat.

“Julien is on a time frame just like me,” he says, swaying on his stool. “We only have so much we can offer. I manned up and told Sadie. It’s only fair that Julien do the same.”

I look at him, waiting.

“If I wasn’t dying—if I hadn’t let my greedy side take control that night—I would have never kissed Sadie. Hell, I would have never even dared to say hello to her. There is a monster inside of me, Willa. Right now I can control him, but there will come a day when I can’t. In my case, I’ll likely be dead by then. But Julien—”

He’s confusing me now, and I don’t think it is only because my ability to discern information is fading. “He can control himself,” I say, because I witnessed it. I watched him regain control after he cut me.             

“For now. When Julien’s father dies, the curse will pass to him, and that monster he wants to pretend he can control will consume him.” He gives me a moment before finishing. “He will hunt down the person he loves most in this world, and he will kill them.”

“No.”

“If you don’t believe me, ask Julien about his mother. Ask him how she died. There is a reason he lives with his grandparents.”

I fall off my stool, my mind consumed by the memory of Julien’s alter ego, his eyes black and cold. Luckily, a steady hand catches me and lifts me back to my seat. I look over my shoulder. Reid frowns at me.

I smile despite myself, happy for the distraction, and I’m surprised when he returns it. “I think you two have had enough.” He glances at Zeke, who spins his empty glass across the table.

“I have to say I agree.” Zeke hops off his stool, only to stumble into the bar. Sadie is at his side in a blink. Her hand grazes down under his elbow as she holds him firmly on his feet.

“Hello, beautiful.” He smiles at her, but it’s quickly followed by a frown. “I’m really sorry about this. I didn’t mean for you to have to take care of me.”

Sadie leans up and kisses his cheek. “You’re always sorry about everything, Ezekiel.” She sighs, taking his hand. “I enjoy taking care of you. I wish you would let me do it more often.”

When he tries to kiss her and misses, she calls for reinforcements. Grady and Abby jump to her aid, toting Zeke toward the door. I make it all the way to the stairs before I grab the railing and watch the room spin around me. “Oh, no.” I look down at the blurring stairs and curse. “Whose grandiose idea was it to put a bar upstairs?”

Reid laughs behind me, and I find myself in his arms. “Grandiose? I’ve never heard a drunk with such exquisite vocabulary.” He adjusts me in his arms.

“I have many talents.”

“How about you try not puking on me? At this point, that will be a talent unto itself.”

“I’m not making any promises I can’t keep.” I wrap my arms around his neck.

Once outside, the cool evening breeze hits my face, and I instantly feel better. There is music again and the sound of hooting laughter above me. I feel mildly ridiculous that Reid has to carry me, but at least I’m not alone. I glance around to make sure Zeke is still effectively sharing the burden of attention.

“What got into you two tonight?” Reid asks, swerving us around the people walking down the street. He smiles apologetically at the people we pass by, adding in an occasional frown to those who let their stares linger too long.

Nosy bastards.

“It’s complicated.” I bury my face into his shoulder to avoid the attention.

“Sadie said you were stressed out. Is it the store? Because I can help out if it’s too much for you.”

I’m stunned by the sincerity of his offer, and I feel as guilty as ever. I wonder if he knows the real reason for my distress, if his sudden kindness would vanish as quickly as it came. I’m enjoying his comfort, this rare reprieve from his usual sour mood, and I find myself unwilling to lose it just yet. “It’s not that exactly,” I say, skipping over the truth. “It’s that and a thousand other things.”

“Okay.” He considers my words. “What is your biggest stressor? We can start with that one.”

I chuckle darkly before I can catch myself, and Reid freezes mid-stride. I look up to apologize and somehow lie my way out of telling him the truth about letting Julien cut me, but I realize I’m not the one who caused his reaction. Reid stopped because my biggest stressor currently stands not four feet in front of us, blocking our path down the sidewalk.

“Wilhelmina.” Julien greets me with a flat, uncertain tone, and I can see him appraising me suspiciously.

I wiggle free of Reid’s arms, and he sets me gently against the ground. I stare blankly at Julien, feeling the urgent need to burst out in tears as I remember all the things Zeke told me today. Julien purposely led me to believe he’d always be able to control himself. That he is innocent and misjudged.

“What are you doing here?” I ask in an offhand manner, making sure not to look him in the eye. Even now I can’t bear to see the disappointed look on his face, despite my own heartache.

“I thought we had plans,” he says, leaning over, and I turn further away from him. “I went by your house.”

Reid’s grip tightens around my waist, but this time I don’t need his overreaction, because I’m about to have my own. “Well,” I say, throwing my hands out, “I’m not at home.”

“I see that.”

There is a dead silence between us. Bystanders cautiously move around us while the rest of my family stands across the street watching eagerly. I desperately don’t want to have this conversation in front of Reid, or in the middle of the street, for that matter. Julien steps toward me, eyeing me as I continue to sway under Reid’s steady hand.

“Can we talk? Alone?”

“No,” Reid and I answer simultaneously.

I glare back at Reid, but he seems surprised at my answer. I give him a look, assuring him that I can handle this without his interference. I turn back to Julien, wincing as he frowns at me. “You’re intoxicated,” he says, attempting to make it sound less horrible somehow.

“I’ve been a little distraught today.”

I look at Zeke, standing arm in arm with Sadie across the street. Julien follows my eyes, and Zeke tells him all he needs to know about my day with one simple expression. Julien closes his eyes, hissing under his breath. “Willa,” he whispers. “I promise. I was going to tell you.”

I stumble forward, glaring at him, all former sympathy I felt for him vanishing completely. “When, exactly?” I move toward him. “After I fell in love with you?” I step even closer, because my next accusation is meant for his ears only. “Or did you think sharing my bed would be enough?”

He bites his lip, fighting back whatever he wants to say. “You’re intoxicated,” he says again. “So I’m going to pretend you didn’t just accuse me of that.”

“Pretend all you like.” I step back, and Reid is quickly at my side to catch me when I almost stumble over. “Doesn’t change the fact that you lied.”

“I didn’t lie,” he says loudly. “I didn’t want to frighten you. People like me live abnormally long lives. You could be in your eighties by the time my father dies.”

“Or it could be tonight,” I say through my teeth. “You could have at least warned me, all things considered.” I give him a knowing look as my hands reflexively fist together.

I let him cut me. Worse, I let him get close to me.

“Wilhelmina,” he begs, holding his hand out. “Please.”

I step back, leaning against Reid’s chest, and that is when it happens. It’s brief, and if I hadn’t been paying attention, I might not have noticed it. Julien’s eyes flash cold, and he bares his teeth at me.

Reid has carried me halfway down the street by the time I recover from the pure shock of it. Zeke and Grady stand defensively between us.

My head sways worse than ever now. The scene in front of me moves in slow motion. Reid shouts absurdities over my head, and Julien accuses Zeke of poisoning me against him, all while Grady plays peacemaker between them. I try to yell, to assure either side it is all my fault, that I am the one who allowed Julien to get close to me, and I will now be the one deciding I’m not ready to risk my heart because of it.

It is all in vain. I don’t think my voice carries beyond my own ears. Maybe I’m not speaking at all, and I’m only yelling inside my own head. It’s impossible to tell. The last thing I truly recall is Reid warning Julien never to come near me again, that he’s proven without an ounce of doubt that I will never be safe with him. Julien lunges forward, fighting his way between my protectors when I black out.

***

I wake sometime during the night. My mouth is dry and begging for hydration, but my head pounds too loudly to make it worth the effort to get up in search of water. I close my eyes again and sink my face into the pillow.

The second time I wake up, I think for a moment it actually worked. The sun hurts my sensitive eyes as it bursts through the window in front of me, but it isn’t until I try to gulp air down my parched throat that I know it must have all been real. I groan, rolling over, only to find myself falling to the ground with a loud, swift thud.

Another groan erupts from beneath me as I realize I haven’t hit the floor but rather landed on someone who occupies it. I roll again just as I see Reid comb his fingers through his hair and glare up at me. “Was that necessary?” he asks hoarsely.

While I consider my predicament and his question, I see I haven’t rolled off my bed but instead a rather unfortunate-looking leather couch. I decide I really don’t have an answer to his query, so I merely give him an apologetic yawn, to which he rolls his eyes. “Where am I?” I ask as he sits up, because I know for certain that horrible excuse for decorative furniture doesn’t belong to me.

“My apartment.”

He’s up on his feet now, stretching his arms above his head. I look around the room, which doesn’t take long, considering it’s about the size of my bathroom. I scratch my head while trying to tame the mess of hair across my forehead. “I thought you lived in Frog Hollow with Sera and Abby.”

He sighs. “Frog Hollow will always be my home. This is just where I stay when I need space, which is most of the time.”

I stand, though a little wobbly, and make my way over to the window producing all that bright sunshine. As I look out, I realize we are overlooking the square. It’s a similar view to what I have from the bookstore balcony. “We’re above Rooster’s Diner,” he explains, noticing my surprise. “Cari gives me a good deal, seeing as there really isn’t much to the place.”

He walks into the kitchen adjacent to the living room and begins a cup of coffee. My eyes instantly light up. “I don’t think so,” he says, opening his fridge. He pulls out a Gatorade and then a bottle of Advil from the cabinet. “You’ll be enjoying this for breakfast.” He slides them across the counter toward me.

I frown at him, although my mouth is already watering for the Gatorade. “So how did we end up here?” I grab the bottle as if it’s a piece of gold at the end of my hangover rainbow.

“You passed out.” He shrugs but then looks away from me. “My place is the closest spot to let you sleep it off.”

I nod, but I can already feel myself wincing as I prepare to ask my next question. “What else happened after I blacked out?”

Reid leans over on the counter, watching as his coffee begins to run down into the container. “Nothing,” he says, yawning. “Julien is no match for Zeke when he has Sadie and Abby for backup.”

“So he just left?”

“With encouragement,” he adds with a smile, but then it fades. “I hope you understand now what I’ve been trying to tell you all along. Julien is dangerous. Did you see the way he reacted to your dismissal of him?”