Friend-Zoned (15 page)

now
.
Nik’s also stopped smiling. I see him swallow hard. His face
serious puts a hand to my belly and pushes me back gently til my
back hits the wall. His amber eyes bore into me, they search my
face. He lifts a hand to the side of my neck and moves his fingers
slowly up and down my collarbone. I close my eyes and
shudder.
“Look at me.” He says this firmly. It’s not a request.
I open my eyes and he looks deeply into them before saying
hoarsely, “I’m going to kiss you.”
HURRAH!
And he does. He lowers
his face til his lips softly touch mine. I huff in a shaky breath.
Neither of us moves for seconds and its torture! It seems like
days. My shoulders slump and my knees weaken when his tongue darts
out to trace my lips. Luckily, the wall was doing a good job at
holding me up.
I gasp and he takes my weakness as an opportunity to kiss me
deeply. He groans when his tongue touches mine. They dance together
and I want to weep with joy.
Wow!
Like… Wow!
Warmth spreads through my
belly to my core.
This is the best kiss I’ve ever had, hands down. It’s amazing. Nik
is amazing. His lips are soft and his tongue is wicked. Stroking
mine gently and with precision.
He tastes like mint and cognac. He’s delicious. I’m lost and my
hands move of their own accord. One hand cups his cheek while the
other grips the lapel of his shirt. I pull him closer to me and I
feel his bulge press into my belly. I unconsciously grind myself
against it. I squeeze my legs together to stop the tingling. It
doesn’t help.
By thunder, he’s
huge!
The hand on my neck moves down
my arm, around my naked lower back. He opens his palm and slides it
down further into my dress. He massages my bare ass softly then
grips it tight. My breath hitches and I bite back a moan. I nip his
bottom lip then suck on it lightly. His other hand moves from my
waist. His fingers creep up my ribs. His hand lightly cups my
breast. I can’t stop it, I moan into his mouth. Nik stiffens. His
hands fall to my sides then grip my hips
tight.
No! Put your damn hand on my
boob!
Breathing heavily he puts his
forehead to mine and closes his eyes. He whispers, “I’m sorry.”
It’s no more than a whisper but he may as well have yelled it at
me.
He regrets kissing me. Which I suppose is good because friends
don’t kiss. Like, ever.
What a crying
shame.
He kisses my cheek for a full
second before he turns and leaves the office.
My cheeks are flushed and I rest a hand on my heaving
chest.
What the heck just
happened?
I really have no idea
because I’m tipsy from lust. But I know it changes
everything.
Hell’s
bells.
***

I make my way back to the
booth. The girls, Trick, and Max are there.
Nat looks at me and I can’t help but giggle. Yep, still tipsy. She
looks at me wide eyed. We’re both flushed. But at least she looks
satisfied.
“Where’s Nik?” I ask Max.
He shrugs and responds, “Said he had an emergency to take care of,
babe. Probably won’t be back tonight.”
I nod and look to the table.
He’s avoiding me.
If he thinks I’m giving up his friendship without a fight, he’s got
another thing coming.
He can’t just give me four weeks of complete awesomeness and then
rip it away from me because of a stupid kiss. Okay, it was
an
amazing
stupid
kiss.
I have to do something. I’m not losing Nik. I
will
fight for him.
You better watch yourself, Niki.

Chapter Twelve
Friendship can suck
it

Today is Tuesday.
It’s been three days since I’ve seen Tina and I’m very obviously
avoiding her. She came to my office yesterday and I pleaded with
Max to send her away. I told him to tell her I was so busy that I
wasn’t seeing anyone. That was a lie. I was sitting at my desk
making paper planes and trying to fly them into my waste basket
which I’d placed by the door. After she left, Max came into my
office, sat at my desk and stared holes into my head. He said,
“Whatever you did to fuck up,” he pointed a finger at my chest,
“make it better.”
Without waiting for a reply, he left.
Today, I turn on my computer and find an instant message waiting
for me.
TheTomicBomb: Hey stranger, remember me??! I want sushi 2day. U
in?
What the
hell?
I thought Tina was upset with
me. It’s the reason I didn’t see her yesterday. I thought she was
getting ready to tear me a new asshole. And it would’ve been
deserved. Or cry, which would rip my heart to shreds. I mean I
practically groped her while she was drunk. Not something a
gentleman does. I took advantage of her.
It was the best kiss of my life but I still took advantage of
her.
I’m ashamed of myself. My mom brought me up better than that.
This message doesn’t sound like she’s angry with me. In fact it
sounds like she’s the same old Tina just wanting to have lunch with
her friend.
Ding
TheTomicBomb: If u ever resurface 4 air, let me know. I’ll bring u
sushi :)
I can’t help my chuckle. I run my hand through my hair.
The weight I’ve been carrying around all weekend disappears.
I’m so relieved she isn’t pissed at me. She should be. Thank god
she’s doing the mature thing and pretending it never
happened.
Can you pretend it never
happened?
I can still feel her suck
my bottom lip. When I put my hand down the back of her dress and
realized she wasn’t wearing underwear I just about had a stroke.
Sweet Jesus, that ass. It’s a nice ass. Soft as silk but firm, too.
The perfect ass. Well, my idea of the perfect ass.
Her lips are soft, pouty, and so sweet they taste like bubble gum.
I want to kiss her again and again.
Yeah, I like kissing Tina. No, I
love
kissing Tina. Then she pushed
herself up on my hard-on. I almost came like the story I told about
my fifteen year old self losing my virginity.
…aaand you’re hard. Happy
now?
Knowing she’d only ever been
with the one guy and hasn’t been with him in five years. It made me
feel good. Too good. Like, good that you shouldn’t feel about your
friends good.
Goddamn it. I don’t know how it even happened. One minute we were
laughing, the next I was pushing her up against the wall.
A sudden urge overcomes me.
I have to see her. I need to try and explain myself. I don’t know
how I’m going to do that without explaining I’m getting some really
strong feelings for her. And I know that’s not what she
wants.
But what if she does want
it?
If I knew Tina wanted to be with
me, I’d snatch her up in a heartbeat. I got
those
kinds of feelings for her.
The
one
feelings.
I can’t believe it myself. The thought of her being with someone
else makes acid burn my gut. I want to punch the wall just thinking
about it.
What a
mess.
All because of goofy wax lips.
I smile at the memory. This adorable little woman being dragged
into my office by Max, too shy to even look at me then declaring me
her friend… So much has changed. Never met anyone like her in my
life. So giving with her heart. I’ll do anything to protect that
heart. I want it to be mine to protect.
I smile to myself.
Got to go see my girl.
***

I see Nik exit The White
Rabbit and a chill sweeps through me as my hands start to
sweat.
What if he tells me we can’t
be friends anymore?
I would just die.
Actually drop dead and
die
.
I knew he was in his office yesterday and if I really wanted to I
know Max wouldn’t have stopped me from barging in and demanding he
talk to me. But I wanted to respect his privacy. He didn’t want to
see me for a reason.
This morning when I sent him a message asking to get sushi together
I was hoping we could get on like nothing happened.
I know he regrets the most amazing kiss of my life. Which kind of
sucks but having thought about it over the past two days, I’m okay
with it. I was hoping Nik would be my
one
. I built him up so much in my
mind I didn’t stop to protect myself from him. After all, look at
how he treats Sissy? If he were to screw me and leave me, I’d be
broken. I’ve been there before, it isn’t nice. I’m damaged goods
because of it. It sucks to feel safe with someone and have them
walk away like you’re nothing to them. That hurts. Like,
really
hurts. But I
would’ve taken the risk with Nik.
Am I destined to be
that
girl?
You know, that girl who loves once and then hates love and
everybody in love when her relationship takes a nose dive?
No! Hell, I hope not.
I don’t want to become a crazy cat lady!
Nik regrets the kiss. That’s fine. I’ll be his friend if he’ll let
me. I miss him already.
Rawr
Raaawr
“Gotta fix that damn bell,
babe.” I look over to the doorway and Nik is flashing that charming
smile at me. I don’t know why but I run over to him and jump into
his arms. I wrap my legs high on his waist and hug him
hard.
It’s that damn dimple. It’s
magical!
“Holy hell, babe. It’s only
been three days,” he chuckles at me.
The nerve!
I relax my grip on his neck, frown into his face and ask, “Where
have you been?”
I must look pathetic because his face softens. He holds under my
butt with one forearm and puts stray hair behind my ear with the
other. His face shows he doesn’t want to end our friendship. In
fact, there shines some intense emotion. But I can’t name
it.
Hooray!
He looks me in the eye and says, “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I
was snowed under.” His soft face smiles into mine and I want him to
kiss me again. My eyes lower and I feel my heart beat faster.
Nat yells out, “Will you two get a damn room already?” I look over
to the counter and find Mimi and Nat smiling like a pair of clowns
at me. Nat waves her fingertips daringly.
I mock-scowl at them and boom, “Get back to work!” Nik’s face moves
to my neck and feel the puffs of breath as he laughs.
He lifts his head and grins saying, “I think you said you wanted
sushi today.” I nod. He whispers, “What my girl wants, my girl
gets.”
My heart skips a beat.
He means
you’re his friend and a girl, dumdass.
Oh yeah! Of course he does. I wasn’t at all thinking how nice
it would be being Nik’s girl.
Not. At. All. Nope. Not even a bit.
I say, “I should get my purse.” I let go of his neck but he doesn’t
set me down. He holds me like a weigh about as much as a paperclip.
And it’s nice.
Really
nice.
He quips, “You know you aren’t paying so you don’t need your
purse.” He grins at me then looks to Nat and Mimi and inquires,
“You girls want sushi?”
They both nod and look at Nik like he’s oh-so-dreamy. My friends
have been replaced by robots.
I roll my eyes at them then turn back to him and utter, “You can
put me down now, Nik.”
He nods his head to the side and raises one brow, “I could. But I
don’t want to. I like you in my arms.” He says the last bit on a
whisper and my core spasms. Surely he’s not referring to the other
night.
He ran out of the room like it was on fire. Only he left me in the
fire.
No, definitely not.
I chuckle and slap his shoulder and whine, “C’mon Niki, I’m
hungry.”
He reluctantly sets me down and puts an arm around my shoulder. He
turns to the girls and says, “We’ll bring you back sushi, girls.
See ya.” He lifts his fingers as a goodbye and drags me out of
Safira without my purse.
We walk along, my arm tight around his waist the other resting on
his belly, his wrapped around my shoulder. It feels so right.
I love this. It’s totally natural.
We walk silently to the sushi bar. I dread talking about what
happened. We’re seated at the bar and watching out for things we
like on the conveyor.
It’s time. I don’t look at him when I begin, “So, Saturday night
was pretty intense, huh?”
He stiffens beside me. He sighs and says, “Yeah, about that, I’m so
sorry Tina. I don’t know what came over me. I…”
I cut him off with a fake laugh, “It’s fine Nik, really. Let’s just
call it curiosity between friends. Now that it’s out of our systems
we can get on with our lives, right?” I glance over at him and I
become confused.
It looks like Nik is in pain. His brows pull in, his eyes are
unfocused at my shoulder, and his lips turn hard. He quickly
removes the look and plasters on a smile. His eyes still
hard.
“Yes. Sure. I’m still very sorry.” He says softly, almost
mournfully, “It won’t happen again.”
It won’t happen again.
Why is
my heart silently breaking if all I want is Nik’s friendship?
I want his kisses. I want it to happen again and again. I want more
with Nik. I want his love. I don’t think I’d ever get enough of
him. Or maybe I just think that because I wanted him to be the one
for me. The one who helps me get passed my
fears.
Let it
go.
“So, are we still invited to
Poker night?” I ask and wiggle my brows at him in a fake display of
composure.
He smiles softly, “Yeah. Wouldn’t be the same without
you.”
Huzzah! Friends are
we!
***

Wednesday night I invited
the girls over for a girl’s night at my apartment.
I baked caramel mud cupcakes with fudge sauce in the middle. These
are Mimi’s all-time favorite.
I only have the one sofa so we spend it under the covers of my king
sized bed.
Me and Nat on one side of the mattress, Lola and Meems on the other
with Bear accepting cuddles and pats from all sides smack dab in
the middle.
Mimi starts the questioning as soon as we’re in bed. “Okay. I’m
bringing something up that I know we are all curious about.” She
looks right at me. “What’s the deal with you and Nik?”
I chew my tongue for a second. I don’t know what to tell them. I
decide honesty is the best choice. I scratch the side of my neck,
look down and tell them, “I thought Nik might be the one.”
I hear multiple gasps. I look up and see three pairs of wide eyes
and open mouths gaping like fishes out of water.
I giggle.
Lola chides, “How can you laugh at a time like this?!”
Nat speaks softly, “That’s great, babe. He’s totally into you. Go
for it.” She smiles.
When I make a scoffing sound she scowls at me and says, “What’s
that all about?”
I play with the cover of my quilt and assure them, “He’s not into
me. Not even a little.”
The girls all look at each other and burst into hysterical
laughter.
I feel myself becoming flushed. I like people laughing with me but
I don’t like being laughed at.
I steel my voice and growl, “Don’t laugh at me.”
Nat immediately stops laughing and responds, “I’m sorry honey, we
aren’t laughing at you. You’re just so sweet you can’t even see Nik
is head over heels for you.”
Lola smiles and confirms, “He is Tina. You should see him. When
you’re in a room he doesn’t even pay attention to anyone
else.”
Mimi nudges my foot with hers and swears, “Yeah, doll, he loves
being wrapped up in all that is Tina. In a big way.”
I throw my head back on my pillow and blurt, “Oh yeah, so into me
he kisses me then tries to escape. Then avoids me for three days?
Then re-appears sweeter than ever! God, Nik, you suck!”
The silence goes on a long while before I hear someone clear their
throat.
Mimi whispers, “He kissed you on Saturday night?”
Lola squeals ,“I knew it! See, he likes you Teeny!”
Nat squawks, “Where the hell was I?”
I sigh deeply, “Yes. He kissed me in his office. He backed me up
into a wall and kissed the heck out of me. And grabbed my ass. And
my boob. And I really liked it.” I end on a whine.
Nat grins like the Cheshire cat and says, “From the beginning, if
you please.”
I spend the next ten minutes explaining in detail what happened.
When I’m finished Nat asks, “I don’t get why you guys were laughing
so hard. What happened?”
I bite my lip to stop from giggling and say, “Well, we heard
something really funny.” I shoot her a look and go on. “In the
conference room.” Her eyes widen, I continue with, “It was really
loud.” Nat swallows hard and turns beet red.
Hehe…yeah, I know you naughty
girl.
Lola looks thoughtful and
slowly says, “I think I know what happened.” I lean closer to her
and widen my eyes like she will reveal to me all the secrets of the
universe. She reminds me, “You were pretty tipsy, Tina, and you
just got put on the spot with all the sex questions. I think maybe
he thought he was taking advantage of you.”
Mimi and Nat both nod in agreement.
Could it be?
No, I’d made my
intentions clear.
I wanted him.
I was rubbing up against him like a cat in heat for god sake! I
moaned into his mouth. Those all say
take
me now
! Could it be he thought I’d been
drinking too much?
Mimi shoots me a sultry look and asks, “So, how good of a kisser is
he?”
My eyes roll in to the back of my head and I moan. The girls laugh
at my dramatics.
I smile a small smile and explain softly, “It was the type of kiss
where your knees turn to jelly. And you feel electricity running
through your veins. And your stomach flips around like a fish.” I
sigh and say, “The type that made me believe he could possibly be
the one."
Lola pouts her lips and puts her hands over her heart. Nat smiles a
happy smile. Mimi bites her tongue and nods her head.
“Righteous.”
I smile to myself and whisper, “Yeah, it was.”
Totally.
***