Fractured Affections (The Affections Series Book 1) (21 page)

“Dad would never be upset with you for wanting to spend time with Striker. He knows how important that time together is for you guys. He loves you, Dyl, he wants what’s best for you.”

“I just feel weird now. I don’t know if I should call Striker, Dad or not. If I do, what do I call Dad?” The confusion is written all over his face as his nose scrunches and his eyebrows furrow.

“You just call them both Dad. Do you want to call Striker, Dad?” I never thought about this part but I can see where he’s coming from.

“I don’t know, won’t Dad be upset?”

“Listen, Dylan. Dad wanted Striker to know that he’s your father. When you’re ready, if you want to call him Dad, then that’s up to you. Don’t worry about anyone and how they feel. Dad loves Striker too; they are best friends. I bet if you talk to him about it, Dad will encourage you to do what you feel is right.”

We talk for a while longer before he kisses my cheek and retreats to his room. I should probably call Striker, but it’s almost midnight, and I have no idea what he’s up to. I would love to be able to tell Dylan where he is in the morning, though. He’s curious about why he disappeared, and I don’t want him to worry. I do enough worrying for everyone in this house.

Dylan is a lot like me. I remember how worrying about my parents ruined my childhood. I don’t want that for him, so I decide to call Striker. It rings multiple times and he finally answers, just as I’m about to hang up.

“Hello.”

“Hey, Striker, is everything okay?” I ask with caution.

“Yeah. Sorry, I haven’t been home. I just thought it would be a good idea if I didn’t stay there anymore.” There is so much uncertainty in his voice, but his words just brought me so much relief.

“Oh God, Striker, please don’t feel bad about feeling that way. I was actually thinking the same thing. I would never ask you to leave though, because this is my fault.”

“Please, Rea, we both know this is not just your fault,” he says then sighs.

I’m feeling a surge of mixed emotions. I know this is for the best, but I hate the idea of pushing him away. We both know it’s what’s best for our relationship, so that we can provide the best atmosphere for the kids. My vision blurs but I try my best to hold back the tears.

“This is hard.”

“It always has been with us, hasn’t it?” He chuckles, but it does little to lighten his comment.

“I guess it has. I want to apologize for my behavior the other night, though. I know you’re going to say that it’s not necessary, but I should have never acted like that.”

“Don’t worry about it, Rea.”

“I am worried, though. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable coming around here. Dylan needs you around.” I wipe away a stray tear and sit up in bed.

“Don’t ever worry about that. I could never leave him, so until I find an apartment I will be staying at the hotel up the road. Can you let him know that I’m only a phone call away?”

“I will, but please don’t be a stranger. You’re welcome here anytime.” Bringing my knees to my chest, I wrap one arm around my legs.

“I figured I would let you guys have some time to be a family since Dalton is coming home soon. Once everything is settled, I’ll be back around, Rea. I just need to get my head on straight, but don’t worry, I’ll figure things out.”

“You are part of our family. Please don’t stay away long.”  My voice cracks but I’m holding it together. I don’t want to lose it on the phone because I know he doesn’t want me to blame myself, but who wouldn’t. My actions have caused Striker to pull away, which means Dylan gets less time to spend with him.

“I’m not staying away, just taking a break.” His tone has changed from somber to having an edge of frustration.

“Okay, I understand. The boys will miss you. We will see you soon, goodnight, Striker.”

“Goodnig…” I hear the phone click before he finishes getting the word out.

Placing my phone back on the nightstand, I decide to finally try and get some sleep. Hopefully, Dalton will be home first thing in the morning. I understand that Striker needs to remove himself from everything. I try to put myself in his shoes. If roles were reversed, I don’t think I could handle seeing him with another woman. He’s doing the best he can. I need to learn to give him his space and not try to force things on him.

I settle into to bed, clear my mind and try to think of mundane things. It seems like only minutes go by before I’m waking up to the warmth of someone pressed to my back. I feel a little disoriented at first, and slowly turn expecting it to be Striker. I’m not sure why, maybe Dalton’s trip has pushed him to the background and brought thoughts of Striker to the forefront. Then I catch sight of the person whose arms are wrapped around me, and my heart slams in my chest.

I make it to my side, so that we are facing each other, and settle my hand on his cheek. My stomach twists from the loneliness I felt when this man was gone. I didn’t realize, until now, just how much I missed him, how much I need him. There is a faint glow in the room from the moon, allowing me to look over his handsome face. Glancing at the clock, I see that I was only asleep for two and a half hours. I wonder how long Dalton has been here, in our bed, wrapped around me.

Leaning my head forward, I place my forehead against his. For the briefest moment, only the tip of our noses brush, but I can’t wait any longer to feel his soft lips against mine. I firmly place my lips on his. Tears are leaking from the corners of my eyes. All the confusion, all the questions I asked myself about our love, about our marriage, all seem futile. How could I question him? How could I question our love? How could I think, for one moment, that this wasn’t real? We had to work to get here. Being with him now feels worth it.

True love? Is there an absolute defining moment? Is there a sway in the universe when you find your absolute match? My heart may have the same beat, the same rhythm, as Striker, and I will always love him. Dalton, on the other hand, is my heart. He grabbed hold of it and never let it go. He took something so broken and molded it back together, giving it a strength it’s never seen before. Who needs true love, when you have unconditional love? That’s Dalton, he has never wavered in the way he loves me, even when he wasn’t my first choice. Looking at him now, I can’t imagine being with another man the way I am with him.

After what feels like an eternity, his lips begin to respond to mine, and his arms tighten their grip around my waist. “God, I’ve missed you, my sweet Rea,” he whispers then his lips begin to move, parting so that his tongue can dance with mine. I can taste the minty flavor from our toothpaste on his tongue, which leads me to believe he hasn’t been in bed long.

“When did you get here?” I ask and feel his lips trail down my neck. His breath is warm against my skin and sends a shiver down my spine.

Turning he checks the clock. “About forty-five minutes ago.” His response is quick before returning his attention to my skin. His hands move to the hem of my shirt and slowly lift it from my body. He leans back onto me so that his weight presses me into the bed. He is only in a pair of boxers and the warmth of his chest against mine feels amazing. I’ve missed this type of intimacy. The butterflies begin to swarm in my belly as the anticipation of being with my husband builds.

“I’ve missed you so much. Please don’t leave me again.” My words come out choked.

Dalton freezes on top of me and pulls away to stare deep into my eyes. I can’t make out the emotion that crosses his face. It may have been one of fear or regret. I want to ask what’s wrong, but think better of it; because right now is about the passion and love we have for one another. Everything else can wait.

Dalton moves down my body, slowly removing my panties and then his boxers. He places faint kisses along my belly as he crawls back up to me. The slight brush of his lips causes my skin to prickle. When we are face to face again, he laces our fingers together and brings our hands above my head, placing his weight on me. He brings his forehead down to mine and closes his eyes. He takes a deep breath. I can tell he is savoring every moment of our reunion. I feel it too, the importance of this moment; where all the weeks spent apart feel worth it. Giving us a time where we can come back together and feel every ounce of love we hold for each other. This is a moment to remember.

Dalton moves my hands, so that they are firmly gripped in his left, pushing them into the bed. I feel his right hand skim slowly down my side until it stops in the crook of my knee. My breathing is becoming heavy as I wait for his next move, completely in his control. He hitches my leg up around his waist. I can feel him there, ready to enter me, but he takes his time. Finally. I feel his hand move between us grabbing hold of himself. He rubs his length up and down against my entrance, gathering my wetness and the sensation is maddening.

“Please, Dalton,” I beg.

“Please? What do you want, baby?” he whispers against my lips, still teasing me.

“I want you. Always. Please.” I almost don’t recognize my voice because it’s saturated with need.

He teases me often, until I’m begging for him. I always get the same response, “you have me, Rea,” but not today. He doesn’t respond verbally at all, he only sinks slowly into me. While I’m feeling physically satisfied; something feels off. I let my physical needs take over, and we get lost in each other before slipping off into a calm sleep wrapped in each other’s arms.
 

Chapter Eighteen

Reagan

I let the boys take the day off of school to spend time with Dalton. They left a few hours ago to head to their pond to fish. All three of them looked as if it was Christmas morning when he walked into the kitchen for breakfast. It was a sweet family reunion, and I’m glad that we are all together again.

Dalton embraced Dylan for a bit longer than the other boys. At first I could see the tension in Dylan’s shoulders, because he’s been so uncertain about his relationship with Dalton since finding out that he wasn’t his biological father. It only took a moment for him to give in and accept that things will remain the same. He gained a father without losing one.

While Dylan’s anxiety eases, I feel mine rise as I look at Dalton in the morning light. He definitely did not take care of himself while he was away. He’s lost weight and the signs of exhaustion are written on his face. The dark circles under his eyes make him look ten years older. I hate when he pushes himself like this for work, his health is so much more important than money in the bank, but he has a hard time seeing things that way.

I decided to spend the day cleaning and unpacking Dalton’s bags from his trip. I know they will be gone most of the day. I need to keep occupied so that I don’t fret over the conversation that I know is coming with Dalton. I need to tell him about the things that happened between Striker and I, sooner rather than later. I feel like it’s a little much for his first day home, but I can’t keep what happened a secret for any length of time.

It’s around lunchtime when my cell flashes with a missed call from Riley. She must have called while I was running the vacuum. I dial her back.

“Tell me that sexy man of yours has returned home.”

“Yes, Riley. I woke up in the middle of the night to find him in bed with me.” I tuck the phone between my shoulder and ear, so I can carry a basket of clean clothes upstairs.

“So somebody got laid last night. At least that makes one of us,” she says trying to sound disappointed.

“Oh, stop. I’m proud of you lately. Remember that.”

“Well, how is it?”

“How is what?” I ask climbing the stairs.

“Having your husband home. Did you talk last night about the things that happened?”

“There wasn’t much talking last night, but I’m going to tell him everything tonight, after the boys go to bed. Wish me luck.” I sit the laundry basket on my bed and open Dalton’s draw to put his clothes away.

“Rea, Dalton knows you better than you know yourself. He knows you love him. Everything will be fine. He loves you more than I think you are able to comprehend,” she says before shushing a male voice in the background.

“Riley! Who is that? Have you been lying to me about staying away from men?” I can’t believe her.

“What? No, do I ever? I’m usually brutally honest with you, aren’t I? It’s not what you think but we’ll talk more about that later, kay?”

“Ri, just tell….”

Speaking over me, Riley continues, “Call me after your talk with Dalt and then we will talk about me. See ya, Rea!”

The phone disconnects. I just shake my head because that’s typical for Riley. She has a way to keep me smiling with her absurd behavior. She can be flighty and sporadic, the complete opposite of me, but I think that’s why I love her so much.

The rest of the day goes by quickly. Before I know it, the boys are coming through the door laughing and joking about their day. I can’t help but smile. It’s amazing to feel like your home is whole again, that the missing puzzle piece has been put back in place, completing the beautiful picture. Everything feels right again, and I know I will make it through tonight. I feel like I can conquer my biggest fears when Dalton is here, even if it’s a snag in our marriage.

“How was today, guys?” I ask the boys while they take off their shoes.

“It was great!” Colt answers and heads to the sink to wash his hands.

“Yeah? Feels good to have Dad back, doesn’t it?” My eyes meet Dalton’s and a forced smile crosses his face.

Max is patiently waiting his turn at the sink. “Today was fun. I needed a men’s day,” he says, causing me to laugh; the tough life of a seven year old.

“Is that so? Too tough to spend time with your mom, is it?” I raise my eyebrows in question.

“No, not you Ma, just needed a day away from Kiley.” He walks over and takes a seat at the dinner table.

“It’s been that bad lately? You guys seemed fine yesterday.” I really need to figure out what is going on between those two. They have always been the best of friends, but lately Max seems to need some distance from her. I can’t help but wonder what caused the need for him to separate himself.