Authors: Elizabeth Reyes
Sarah
The drive to Big Bear started off quiet and uncomfortable. Sarah couldn’t help feeling guilty that she hadn’t told Angel about Leonardo’s pet name for her. She’d known he wouldn’t like it from the moment she first heard Leonardo use the term of endearment. But she felt even guiltier about the fact that, as awkward as it had first felt, the pet name had since grown on her and she liked it now. She had considered telling Leonardo it made her uncomfortable because he didn’t seem to have any qualms about calling her that in front of other people, so it was likely he’d do it in front of Angel eventually. He’d done so in front of his friends and even in front of Valerie when he’d hugged Sarah goodbye the morning they left.
Curiously, Valerie hadn’t thought it odd. She’d giggled and asked Sarah how it felt to have such a hot bad boy calling her something so sweet. Sarah hadn’t told her the truth—that it was kind of exciting—because she knew Valerie would interpret it the wrong way, and she didn’t want to bother explaining the whole thing about her dad calling her that too. So instead, she’d just reminded Valerie that she already had a hot guy back home who’d been calling her sweet names for years.
But there was more she was feeling guilty about.
Another thing she’d never told Angel and certainly wasn’t planning on telling him now was how final Leonardo’s goodbye felt when he’d first told her about going to Mexico months ago. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but that night he called her to tell her about it felt different. It was as if he were saying goodbye to her forever. The whole “I’ll talk to you next year” he’d told her felt like a ruse. She’d even asked him if there was something he wasn’t telling her, because she felt it in his words. He’d been uncharacteristically cold when he spoke to her that night. She’d actually been choked up when she hung up. She had this feeling in her gut she’d heard the last of him, that just like her dad he’d satisfied the curiosity of getting to know her and he was disappearing from her life now too. She’d been hurt and felt humiliated that she’d managed to make such an insignificant impression on both men that neither had any interest in continuing their relationships with her.
So when he’d called her less than a week later, she’d been overjoyed, more than she should’ve been. She’d really thought she’d never hear from him again. Later that night when she’d called Sydney, the only person who knew how broken up she’d been about her brother’s goodbye, he’d even warned her.
“You’re worrying me, Lynni,” he’d said.
“Why?”
“You shouldn’t be this excited about him calling you.”
“Not excited,” she’d insisted. “Relieved. You know I really thought that was it. That he was gone forever.”
“I know but still. I’d wait until you calm down a little before telling Angel. I can guarantee you it’ll worry him too.”
Taking Sydney’s advice and because she knew what he was saying was true—that Angel would question her excitement—she waited days before mentioning it. As expected, Angel hadn’t shared her excitement, so she’d been glad she hadn’t said anything sooner.
“I had a weird dream last night,” Angel said, pulling her out of her thoughts.
He hadn’t said a word in a while. Sarah turned to him. He was staring straight ahead, his perfectly square jaw flexing ever so slightly, and the telling eyebrow at alert.
“I dreamed you lied to me.”
Feeling her heart speed up, Sarah stared at him but said nothing and waited for him to continue.
“It wasn’t a bad lie,” he went on, staring straight ahead. “The guys had talked me into making you an engagement ring rather than buying you one. They said it’d be more thoughtful, so I did, and it was ugly as shit.”
Normally something like this would have him smiling. Sarah felt like smiling, but he looked so serious she couldn’t.
“I proposed and gave it to you, and you said you liked it—said it was really nice.” He glanced at her now, not a sign of a smile, not even a twinkle in those eyes that locked on hers for a moment, and then he looked back at the road. “You were lying out of tact to save my feelings, but I saw it clear as day. Even though you hardly ever do it, it’s so obvious when you’re not telling me the truth or even holding back from telling me something. Like tonight.”
“What?”
“When I asked you, Sarah,” he said, noticeably gripping the wheel a little tighter, “if there was anything else Leo calls you or says to you that might turn my stomach, you said ‘no.’”
He stopped short of calling her a liar, but she knew it was what he was saying because he’d hit it right on the nose. Only just like in his dream she hadn’t lied out of malice. She just hadn’t wanted to make him more upset than he already was.
Angel turned to face her, only this time he didn’t look tense or mad. He looked . . . worried? “Why are you lying to me, baby?”
“I’m not,” she said, reaching out for his hand, but he kept it on the steering wheel.
“Ever since you started talking to Leo, something’s changed.”
“No, it hasn’t!” she said, beginning to feel her throat tighten. “Don’t say that.”
“Yes, it has.” He banged the steering wheel, raising his voice, but he wasn’t mad. He sounded almost panicked. “You would’ve
never
taken off to Havasu like you did before you met him!”
“That had nothing to do with him,” she said, just as alarmed and shocked that he’d think that. “I didn’t even know he was gonna be there. Is that what you’ve been thinking all this time? That I went there because of him?”
He didn’t respond to that, and Sarah turned to look at the road. “Pull over,” she said, calmly at first but then a little louder. “I said pull over!”
Angel started the slow merge off to the right side of highway, and she could see he was going to exit off the next ramp. “Why are you lying?” he asked, calmer this time as they pulled into an abandoned campsite parking lot.
She didn’t respond to that, just stared out the window at the flurries that were beginning to come down, trying to decide how much he needed to know.
“‘Are you feeling something for him?”
Her head literally jerked in his direction. “Are you crazy? How can you even ask me that?”
“I don’t know!” he said, putting the car in park, then turned to her and began to let it all out. “I don’t know what to think. This whole thing is crazy—weird.
He’s
fucking weird. He sends his
sister
near-naked photos of himself then brings her roses, and after hearing him call you baby girl tonight, I don’t know what to think, Sarah! I’d never call my sister that, and I’ve known her all my life. This guy’s known you, what? Three months? It’s just too damn weird, and he calls and talks to you ’til late at night. Sydney doesn’t even do that!” He stopped for a moment and peered at her almost as if he had to think about that but then went on. “I mean where’s this guy’s girlfriend? Doesn’t he have a social life? Am I supposed to believe he’d rather be talking to his sister—
my
girl—late into the night than some other chick?”
He finally stopped and took a deep breath, looking out his window. Sarah reached for his hand. It was off the steering wheel and resting on his thigh now. She took it and laced her fingers through it. Angel turned to look at her, his expression still completely exasperated. “I wasn’t lying to you, okay?” She shook her head, took a deep breath, and decided it’d be better if she just came clean. “You know he calls me beautiful,” she began, and Angel immediately interrupted her.
“No, I don’t,” he said, tugging his hand back, but she held it tightly. “You never told me that.”
“You saw the very first email he sent me—”
“He said you
were
beautiful,” Angel said, and she could see he was trying his best to stay calm. “More than once, but he didn’t call you beautiful, and, yeah, I thought it was weird, but it’s still different. So he calls you beautiful, huh? What else?”
Sarah gulped, beginning to regret having done this, but she was determined to be as honest as she could. “He sometimes shortens what he called me tonight,” she said, bracing herself for that to sink in.
She saw as the confusion washed over his face for moment, and then his brows shot up. “
Baby?
” he asked. “He calls you baby? Are you fucking kidding me?”
Sarah took her seatbelt off and climbed over the center console of his car, startling him at first. “Push the seat back a little,” she said.
“Sarah,” he started to say but brought his hand down, and the seat began moving back, giving her a room to straddle him. “You know I’m trying to be a patient,” he said as she brought both hands around his face, “but when it comes to you and—”
“I know,” she assured him then leaned in and kissed him softly, relieved that he kissed her back. “I get that it’s strange, but you said it yourself, Angel, he’s different—”
“Weird,” Angel corrected her. “I said he’s fucking weird.”
She smiled. “Okay,
weird
.”
“And if I ever hear him call you any those names—”
“You won’t,” she said confidently, kissing him again. “I get it, okay? It is a little odd, but then
he’s
odd. Still, I’m gonna talk to him, and you’ll never have to hear him call me anything but my name.” She pulled away and glared at him, her heart beginning to beat a little faster like it had when she demanded he pull over. “But don’t you dare ever question if I have feelings for him or any other guy. How could you even think that?”
Angel closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against her chest, bringing his arms around her. “There’s just something about this guy. I’ve felt it from day one. I didn’t like it then, and now, hearing the way he talks to you and that you’d allow it . . .”
He groaned, squeezing her tighter, but it wasn’t a good groan like when he was excited or happy. She could feel his hands fisting her shirt behind her tightly.
“Hey,” she said, pulling his face away from her chest so he’d look at her. “Technically, I didn’t
allow
him to do anything inappropriate. Just ’cause his choice of words are weird doesn’t make them wrong. I knew you wouldn’t like it, but I didn’t think you’d be this upset about it.”
“About him calling you baby?” he asked, his brows furrowing menacingly. “
I
call you that.” His hands fisted her shirt again. “And I’m pretty sure you’d be pissed if you ever heard me call another girl that.”
“You’re damn right I would be.” She squirmed on his lap as what he’d just said sunk in, and it hit her like a jolt.
She’d be furious and hurt, not to mention worried out of her mind that maybe he was feeling something for whoever he’d refer to in that way. No wonder he’d looked so hurt when he questioned her lying to him.
Taking his face in both her hands, she kissed him deeply. “Never,” she said, coming up for air and looking him in the eyes. “Never ever question my love and fidelity to you, okay?”
He stared at her, but he didn’t nod nor did his expression ease up as she expected him to. His hands still fisted her blouse tightly, and the intensity in those dark eyes of his was just as sharp as it’d been when they first pulled over.
“Sof said she was curious,” he said, throwing her thought process into a tailspin.
“What?” she asked, staring at him at a complete loss.
“She told me she gave into that moment of weakness because she’d been curious.”
Sarah felt her heart plummet. Not since that horrendous night years ago when he actually believed he’d caught her cheating on him had she felt that coldness in his eyes directed at her. “Are you saying you think I would—”
“I’m wondering why I had to force it out of you.” Sarah squirmed, trying to get off him, but he held her tight. “Just tell me why? Why didn’t you want me to know he speaks to you like this?”
“Because I didn’t want to upset you,” she said, still trying in vain to pull out of his hold. “I knew you wouldn’t like it, but—”
“You promised me you’d never do that again, Sarah.”
“I know,” she said, finally giving up the fight to get out of his death grip and fell against his chest instead where she felt just how hard his heart pounded. “I’m sorry.”
He loosened one hand and caressed her hair, but the other hand remained, gripping her blouse. “Look at me,” his panicked voice demanded, so she looked up at his equally dread-filled eyes. “You’re not curious?”
“No!” she said immediately.
“You sure?” His eyes searched hers.
“Yes!” she assured him then pecked his lips again and again.
“I’m not like Eric, Sarah.”
“I know you’re not.” She continued to kiss his lips.
“I’d
never
get over something like that.”
“I know you wouldn’t.” She stopped to look him deeply in the eyes because she needed him to really get this. “I’d never do something like that to you, Angel.
Never
. You have to know that. I love you.”