Authors: Carina Adams
For most people, study halls have a way of speeding by. For me, they’ve usually gone painfully slow. Yeah, I spent the time pretending to study or read while I’m really going over every possible scenario that might help me get my mark into bed. Lately, I’ve been staring at Mr. Matthews, waiting for him to look up so I can quickly glance away. But the time has always practically stood still. Before today, I could almost hear the clock on the wall ticking the seconds by until I had to go back to the trailerhood. Home sweet confining home.
Today was different. I got to class late, offered a pathetic excuse to Mr. Matthews, and sat down in the first empty desk I could find, pulling out my history book. Then, five minutes later, the bell rang. The clock told me I’d been staring at the same page for over an hour, and I couldn’t even begin to remember what in the hell the chapter was about. A throat clearing startled me, yanking me back into the present. The room was empty except for the two of us.
“I have practice tonight, Lia. But if you’re still having trouble with that essay, we could meet afterward. Say eight-ish?”
I looked up into a face that just a few hours ago I would have sworn was the hottest one in the school and felt nothing. No increased heartbeat, no desire pooling between my legs, no urge to rip off his shirt and see if he was really as built as he looked. Shit! Maybe I was coming down with something. Or maybe I was over it.
“I do need help, Mr. M. But isn’t the school locked up by then?”
Sitting on top of the desk next to mine, he gave me a smile I knew all too well. We called it the “Indiana Jones Look.” It was the same goofy grin that Indy got every time he thought he was going to claim the forbidden treasure. Right now, I was the Holy Grail.
“It is, but I was thinking you could come by my place. It’s not that far from here, and we’d have enough privacy and time to…” He paused, and I had to look away to keep him from seeing the look of disgust I was sure was all over my face. “…Get it right.”
I swallowed, running through the options quickly. I could blow off the new kid, go home on the bus, and then sneak out tonight, finally winning the hand I’d been working on for weeks. It would be nice to get the thousand points. Or, I could enjoy the anonymity and, for a few hours, just be regular old me with the new kid before he started blowing me off.
Standing up, I threw my backpack over my shoulder and hugged my textbook to my chest. “I can’t tonight, I’m sorry.”
Mr. M. looked surprised. “Another time then?”
I didn’t answer as I rushed out of the room, feeling his eyes on my back. I chastised myself on the way across the school, telling myself to go back and ask Mr. M. if he was still up for it. I’d never given up on one challenge for another, and I had never walked away when I was so close to winning. I picked up my pace, wanting to get to the art room as fast as possible. Just for one afternoon, I wanted to spend time with someone who didn’t have a preconceived idea of who I was, and who apparently wanted to spend time with me for normal reasons.
When I got to the room, I was relieved to see Neil was still there. I stood in the doorway, watching him stick out his tongue a little as he concentrated on the paper in front of him. It was almost comical to see someone his size folded into a tiny chair and huddled over the even smaller desktop.
He looked up then, smiling when he saw me staring at him. “Hey. I thought you’d forgotten me.”
I shook my head and adjusted the bag. “Nope. Just got stuck. Sorry I’m late.”
He stood – somehow easing himself out of the restrictive desk without a problem – shoved his books in his bag, and in two large strides was at the door. He smiled, holding out his hand in an “after you, my dear” motion, and I knew instantly that I’d made the right choice. Sooner or later, he’d be the big man on campus, and he’d make a point not to be seen with me. But today, he was all mine.
On the way to the parking lot, we talked about art. He loved to draw, paint, and sculpt, and his parents encouraged his talent, apparently showcasing his masterpieces all over their homes and offices. He planned to go to art school, focusing on animation in the hopes of working for Disney someday, but would teach the craft if that plan fell through. When he opened the passenger door to an older model F-150, I stepped into the cab and sat. I couldn’t stop my giggles when he started the truck and Eminem’s voice came blaring through the speakers. He so didn’t look like someone that would listen to Slim Shady.
“What about you?” he asked, buckling up and turning down his music before backing out of his space. “What are your plans?”
“To get the hell out of here.”
He nodded as if he understood completely.
“To be honest, I don’t care where I go or what school I end up at, as long as it is far away and I never have to come back.”
He stopped at the end of the road and looked at me for a few seconds before pulling out onto the main road. “Have you lived here all your life?”
“Yeah.” I sighed, watching groups of my peers walk toward the local burger joint. “And I’ve hated it for as long as I can remember.” Neither one of us said anything for a few minutes, the silence comforting in a way. I stared at my hands, picking at my fingernails nervously. When I heard the turn signal start to click, I looked up. “Um, where are we going?”
He smiled over at me sheepishly. “I have to go let my dog out. She’s been stuck inside all day. But then I’m yours and we can go wherever you want.”
I couldn’t say more than a simple, “oh, cool.” When he made another right turn, I started to get a little nervous. He was heading into the historic district, the place with giant homes and residents that had more money than God. I loved walking through this section of town, pretending that I was lucky enough to own one of the homes, and making up stories about the original inhabitants. I wondered briefly if he lived on the other side of the mountain and was just cutting through because his truck didn’t really scream “rich kid” to me.
The blinker came on again as Neil slowed down, and then we pulled in to a long driveway. I’d only seen the house from the road, but it was even more beautiful up close. Not the largest house in the area, certainly not the smallest, either; the white Victorian Gingerbread oozed history and class.
Parking in the middle of the circle driveway, Neil offered me a small smile. “I’ll only be a sec, I promise. Wanna come in and meet Linc?”
“Linc?”
He nodded, opening his door and stepping out. “Come on in.”
Letting curiosity get the best of me, I slid out and followed him up on to the wraparound farmer’s porch, stepping back when I heard the angry bark from the other side of the door.
Neil laughed. “Don’t be afraid. She’s just a puppy.”
Then, that puppy jumped up onto the door, showing me paws bigger than my hands and teeth that were razor sharp and bared in a snarl. “Uh…” I took a few steps back. Puppy my ass. “I’ll just wait out here.”
Neil shook his head, smiling. “Not a chance in hell.” Turning back to the door, he tapped the window twice, voice low and commanding as he ordered, “Abraham Lincoln, sit!” The paws disappeared and a whine came from inside. “Now, go lay down!”
He opened the door seconds later and there was no dog in sight. I was impressed. “Wow. She listens really well.”
Neil shrugged. “Most of the time.” Grabbing a red leash off a hook next to the door, he whistled and I heard her coming before I saw her. Up close, she didn’t look as scary as she had a minute ago. She was actually adorable.
I sunk down on my knees next to him and offered her my hand. “Aren’t you just beautiful, sweet girl?” I rubbed her ears. “What kind of dog is she?”
He smiled, giving her another pat. “A Heinz 57,” he said and I had no idea what that was. Thankfully, he explained in a goofy, baby voice, “She’s just a big old mutt, aren’t ya, Linc? Who’s a good puppy? Who’s a good girl?” He laughed as she leaped up and kissed him on the mouth. “Get down, you mangy mutt.” Standing, he offered me a hand up. “We’ll be right back. Make yourself at home.”
The house was quiet; only the tick of a clock somewhere in another room kept it from being too quiet. The kitchen was homey, so much more than mine was. There was an island with a stove and plenty of empty counter space that I could picture being used to make giant family meals. Behind me was a large table, almost all set for supper. Hmmm. We ate on TV trays in front of the news, if we ate together at all. Most nights, my mom was gone and it was me in my bedroom.
Walking the way Neil had just left, I found the living room. It was almost the size of my entire trailer, but it was comfortable and just as homey as the kitchen. The photographs that lined the wall caught my eye and I moved closer to see them. Neil, along with his sisters and brother in varying poses, grew up before my eyes. He’d been adorable as a toddler but was beautiful as a teenager.
One caught my eye and I picked it up without thinking. With a baseball hat on backward, dressed in a high school football jersey, his head was thrown back in laughter; he was almost too pretty to look at. But it was the girl he had his arm around – the one whose hand was fisted in his jersey – that I was staring at.
If I had a polar opposite, it would be this girl. She was tall – the top of her head coming to his nose – dark, with long black hair cascading over her shoulder, eyes the color of chocolate, and tiny, so willowy thin she probably didn’t even weigh a hundred pounds. Worst of all were the pom-poms she held in her other hand. Probably a peppy fucking cheerleader.
“Nate, why in the hell did you park the bucket of rust in the middle of my drive? And why aren’t you at practice, ya slacker?” The feminine voice, followed by the slam of a door, startled me, and I took a step backward, pressing the picture into my chest. “Nate?” the voice called out again. “Nay… Oh, hello.”
The woman that walked into the room had to be Neil’s mom. No way she wasn’t. She looked almost just like him but was the grown-up version of his sister. Only she didn’t have a Southern accent. I didn’t know what to say so I just offered a smile. We stood there for a second before another door closed.
“Mom, what are you doing here?”
She smiled over my shoulder. “I live here, Naytron. What are you doing here?”
“I live here,” he answered, and I could hear the laughter in his voice.
His mom smiled back. “Smartass!” Shaking her head, she reached down to pet the puppy. “I came to let Linc out because I thought you had practice.”
Stepping up next me, he shook his head. “Not tonight. Ma, this is Cecelia. Red, this is my mom, Patty.”
Patty smiled politely. “Nice to meet you, Cecelia. Which one you got there?”
Following her eyes, I noticed that I was still gripping the picture. “Oh!” Heat flooded my cheeks. “Sorry! I…”
She took the photo, smiling at it. “This is one of my favorites.” Glancing up at us, she shrugged. “You hardly ever see him that relaxed. It was after a pep rally and the two of them”—she stopped abruptly and glanced at Neil. Swallowing, she tipped her head to the side—“were happy.” She put the picture back in its place on the stand. “Do you two have classes together?”
I nodded, thankful for the change in topic. “Three today. Our school is on a four and four schedule so I’m not sure about tomorrow, but on White days, Neil’s stuck with me for three periods.”
“Neil?” Patty narrowed her eyes at her son. “Really, Nathaniel?”
Neil shrugged. “New school, Ma. New me. I told you that.” Putting his hand on my back, he urged me forward. “We’re gonna head out.”
Patty didn’t move out of our way. “Where are you going? It’s a school night.”
“We’re gonna go out to dinner and Lia’s gonna show me around.”
She shook her head. “No. Dad’s fixin’ to make ribs tonight. Why don’t you two go and have a look around, and then plan on being back here by six. Both of you.” Her eyes met mine. “You don’t mind dogs and kids, do you?” she asked and I shook my head in a silent response. “Good. I’ll see you both in a few hours.”
She left the room before either of us could respond. Neil just rolled his eyes. “Come on. Let’s get outta here before she traps us and makes us help.”
The next few hours flew by as Lia showed me all around the area. Granted, we were out in the middle of nowhere so there wasn’t a helluva lot to show me. But she tried. And we made plans for the weekend, agreeing to drive an hour to the closest city and go to the movies. The best part was that she didn’t ask questions about my life. No, Lia didn’t feel the need to fill the quiet, and I appreciated that.
Even though she’d been bombarded, Lia completely rolled with it. Not only did she make herself at home during dinner, but she also insisted on helping Noah and Natalie with the clean up. She’d been out of the room five minutes when the inquisition started. I answered a few of my parents’ questions and then pushed myself away from the table. “I’m taking Red home.”
“Nate.” Mom’s voice held a hint of warning. “It’s a…”
“I’ll be back later.” I didn’t even give Lia a chance to do more than holler a quick, “thank you for dinner,” and an “it was nice to meet you all!” over my shoulder as I rushed her back to my truck.
“In a rush to get out, huh?”
At her words I glanced at my speedometer; I was speeding.
“You have no idea.” I glanced over at her. “Do you have to go right home?”
She tried to cover the surprise on her face, but I saw it anyway. And the shy smile that followed. “Not sick of me yet?”
I didn’t answer. If I had, it would have scared her away. Not only was I not sick of her, I was dreading the thought of dropping her off.
“Wanna go get dessert? I think the soft serve place is still open. My treat.”
I nodded, frowning at the yellow lines in front of me. Not a chance in hell she was paying. When I pulled into the old railroad station that had been converted into the ice cream shop, I was surprised by the number of people there. I found a spot and opened my door before I realized that Lia’s knuckles were white on the door handle. “Wanna leave?”
Her eyes were sad when she finally looked at me. She swallowed and glanced back at the long line before shaking her head. The tension oozed off her as we walked toward the building slowly, putting me on edge. I recognized a few of the guys in line as football players, but it was the Allyson chick from lunch that stood out. She was laughing loudly with her friends, watching us out of the corner of her eye.
One of the guys with her looked up then and saw me. When he started walking toward us, I slid closer to Lia, my hand automatically going to the small of her back. He was smaller than I was, by a good three inches and probably forty pounds. If he wanted to start shit, I’d finish it right quick.
“Hey, Lia,” he said and then smiled at me. “Hey, man! I’ve heard great things about you. We missed you at practice.” He stuck his hand out and I shook it, ending the shake with a fist bump. “Mike Carson, QB.”
As we talked, a few more teammates came over to join in, each one standing between Allyson and us. Lia relaxed a little bit more as each guy came over. By the time it was our turn to order, she was laughing with me at jokes the center, Joe – I think he said his name was – told. We ended up sitting on my tailgate and talking to them while we ate our cones. An hour later, Lia started to yawn. I promised Mike that I’d be at practice the next day, just to see if there was a place on the team for me. Then I put Lia in the truck and we left.
“Sorry ‘bout that.” We hadn’t said anything since she’d given me directions and, for once, the silence was getting to me.
“What are you sorry for?” She chuckled. “I can’t believe I’m going to admit this, but that was the most fun I’ve had in years. First time I’ve done that.”
“Had ice cream there?”
“No, I’ve been there before. But we usually grab and go. I’ve never sat and eaten with friends.”
“Why not?” I knew she didn’t like to talk about herself and I got it, probably more than most people because there were things I never wanted to talk about, either. But I needed her to let me in a little, to explain what it was that I was missing.
“It’s the next right.” She waited until I made the turn until she answered my question. “I have two friends. That’s it. So we pretty much stick together and try to forget everyone else exists.” I could tell she was telling the truth and I didn’t know what to say to that. “Okay. It’s this left.”
I slowed down, pulling in to what the sign called Two Lanes Mobile Home Park. “Where now?”
She shook her head. “You can just let me off here.”
“Never gonna happen.” I don’t know who had driven her home in the past, but I wasn’t about to let her walk home in the dark. “Which way?” I followed her directions and stopped in front of a little brown trailer at the end of the line. There wasn’t a single light on inside. “No one’s home?”
Lia shrugged. “My mom works at night sometimes.” Pushing open her door, she smiled. “Thanks for the ride.”
I unbuckled and opened my door.
“What are you doing?” Her voice had a nervous tone that threw me.
“Walking you to the door.” I waited for her to come around the front of the truck and then followed her up the small steps.
The home was old, at least twenty years, but the stairs were solid and had a container of flowers on the top. There were curtains at the windows, and when she unlocked the front door and flipped on the lights, I caught a glimpse of a small, but very clean, living room. She backed into the house, dropping her bag on the floor, and let the screen door slam between us.
“What time do you leave for school in the morning?” I asked.
Lia shook her head, making the light reflect off her deep red hair. “You don’t have to give me a ride to school.”
“I want to. What time?”
“7:15.” Her voice was a little more than a whisper.
I turned, hopping down the steps. “Night, Red. I’ll see you in the morning.”
I heard the storm door shut as I got in my truck. Lia smiled at me from the stairs. “Thank you again, Neil. I had fun,” I heard her say, and then I waved. No way did she have as much fun with me as I did with her. Not a fucking chance.
*****
Splitting my time between practice, games, school, homework, Carson, and Lia, the next few weeks were a blur. I got up at five, hitting the gym with the team, grabbed breakfast with the QB, and then picked Lia up for school. By some miracle, we had six classes together so the majority of every day – and each lunch – I got to hang with the girl who’d gone from my only friend to my best friend. After school was homework, followed by practice, and then more homework. If I was lucky, I had a few seconds to send off a quick email to Nikki or my friends back home and talk to Lia on the phone.
I didn’t get much time at home because Saturdays were reserved for football, even if we didn’t have a game, and Sunday’s were spent with my teammates or Lia, or I was studying. My mom seemed pissed about it, but Dad kept telling her it was normal and to let me be. Mom insisted that if I was really just going somewhere else to study, then my friends could just as easily come to our house to do homework. Finally, after weeks of her nagging, I gave in.
Since Lia and Carson were both coming over, Mom insisted we stay downstairs. No girls allowed in my room or some shit. It didn’t seem to matter how many times I explained that it wasn’t like that with Lia and me, Mom just didn’t listen. Right before I went to get Lia, it started to rain. By the time we got back, it was pouring and the rugrats had invaded the living room. When Mike showed up a few minutes later, Mom sent us into Dad’s study.
They’d both been to my house before, but the study was always off limits, usually because Dad was in there grading papers or planning his lectures or whatever the hell professors do. It was the only room downstairs that had a door and as soon as we were all in, I thankfully shut out the noise and nosy glances from my mom.
Carson launched himself onto the leather couch, sprawling across it. Lia dropped her bag next to the coffee table and went straight for the wall. She loved looking at my family’s pictures. That was something she and my mom had in common. The walls of Lia’s room were plastered in photos, but there were only one or two in the rest of her house. I sat next to her bag and opened my textbook. Luckily, we all had chemistry and chem lab together. Between the three of us, we could figure out the homework – most of the time.
“Neil?”
“Yeah?” Thumbing through the pages, I didn’t look up as I answered her. When Lia called my name again, though, I moved my eyes to her. She was pointing at a picture and glaring at me. At first, I worried that it was one of April and me. She’d been holding the one from last year’s homecoming rally the first time she’d come over. But my dad wouldn’t have one of my ex and me, would he? I stood up, squinting to see what had caught her attention. I’d never cared enough to look and see which portraits my dad had hung.
“Why do you have pictures of Johnny Cash holding a baby?”
Oh. That. “That’s my dad.”
“Right.” Her hands were on her hips and she looked pissed. I loved it when Red got angry – she was adorable.
“The baby? That’s my dad.” Stepping next to her, I pointed to another snapshot a couple frames over. “That’s them when he was older.” In that picture, my dad was fishing with June Carter Cash and my grandparents.
“Shut up! Your dad knew Johnny Cash?
The
Johnny Cash?” Lia sounded flabbergasted. “Oh, my God! This one has Johnny, Willie, and C.C.!”
“Who?” Carson asked as he peered over her shoulder.
I’m glad they’d become friends over the past couple of weeks. It made it easier on me because they were two of the only people I liked hanging out with. But as I watched him get closer to her, and then lean his chin on her shoulder, I wanted nothing more than to punch him in the face.
“That’s cool, man. Did you ever meet them?” he asked nonchalantly as if my sudden anger wasn’t known to anyone but me.
I had no idea what Lia had said, but since Carson looked impressed, I’m sure she’d explained just who the men in the pictures were. I nodded, forcing my fist to open. “That’s actually me.” I lifted my chin to the one Lia was pointing at. It had been taken at Gramps’ farm when I was three or four, and all I knew was that I liked it when his friends came because they were nice and made Gramps laugh. It was over a decade later before I was told they were country legends.
Lia had turned to face me, a look of awe on her face. “You met Johnny Cash and C.C. Kelly? You actually met them? Why didn’t you tell me that?”
I laughed. “It isn’t that big of a deal, for one. And two, they’re just regular people like you and me. And three”—I shrugged—“I had no idea you’d know who they were.”
She shook her head. “Well, duh! Of course, I know who they are! And no, they aren’t normal people! They’re amazing.” Looking back at the wall, she sighed. “Did you know that C.C. died last spring? I never got to see him in concert.” Her words made my heart ache as that familiar pang of loss hit. “Johnny doesn’t tour anymore. But one day, I will see Willie perform.”
No one our age listened to old style classic country. I watched her, trying to figure out if she was being sincere. “I honestly didn’t know you listened to…”
She shoved my shoulder. “Are you kidding? The Highwaymen are my favorite!”
“You know how when you’re in the Chinese restaurant and the workers are having a conversation in Chinese and you can hear them talking, but you don’t know what they’re saying?” Carson asked, backing away from Lia – finally. “Yeah. That’s how I feel right now.”
Lia shook her head. “That’s sad. Just sad, Mike! Those men are the founding fathers of Outlaw Country. How do you not know who they are?”
“Outlaw Country?” He raised an eyebrow. “I’m more concerned that
you
know these people, Kelly.” He gave me a look that clearly said “loser!” and I just shrugged.
Now was as good of a time as any. “C.C. is my grandfather.”
“What?” Lia had turned now, arms crossed, and a glare set on me. “Clarence Carlton Kelly is your grandfather?” Then the light bulb went off. “Oh, my God. Kelly!” She pushed my shoulder, harder than she had the first time. “You’re Nathaniel Kelly! From Alabama!” She shoved me again. “How did I not put that together?”
All I could do was laugh. “Easy, tiger. You’ll hurt yourself.”
“Ugh!” She crossed her arms again. Then her face fell and she looked sad. “I read about…” She trailed off and looked back to the pictures. “I’m sorry for your loss.” She took a step, bringing her close enough so that the smell of violets invaded my senses. She leaned her head back to look up at me as her hand slipped into mine. “Will you tell me about him sometime? I’d love to hear stories when you feel like you can talk about him.”
It wasn’t the first time we’d touched. I’d pull on her hair in class, kick her feet under the table at lunch, and when the three of us were in my truck, she sat in the middle, shoulder to shoulder with me. She’d grab my arm to get my attention or pull me along, or hold on to my shoulder as she leaned over me to steal food off my plate. We’d never held hands, though. Hers fit perfectly inside mine. And it felt like the most natural thing in the world.
I agreed to tell her whatever she wanted to know. I’m pretty sure at that moment I would have agreed to anything she wanted. Giving me a smile, she turned and moved back to the coffee table, sitting next to Mike. We spent the next two hours studying, but I was way too distracted to retain anything. This girl had me all twisted up.