Forbidden To Love (The Erosians) (8 page)

The red and blue lockers lining the halls become a blur to me as I drag my feet along the cold slate floor. I'm not interested in any of this. I'm not interested in being an unwanted consolation prize. I'm not interested in being the object of hate to Amora, and I'm not interested in breaking my match-making record.  All I can think of is what Josh must think of me. I'm sure he
’s not interested in me, and I don’t need him to be interested, but none of that’s important. The only thing that matters, is I want him to be.

I push open the door to my classroom for the first period and take my seat at the back, determined to focus on whatever we
’re doing today. I’ll focus on my immortal problem later when I get home, and I can face her in person.

Maths lasts for what seems like a decade. Yes,  a total exaggeration but fractions are mind-numbing. At least I
’ve got performance now which will be slightly more entertaining but working with the rest of the class is always an ordeal considering I spend most of my day alone.

I reach the drama studio a few minutes early and witness everyone already lined up. I walk down the line past a couple of the popular girls at the front.

“Seriously Jess I'm telling you, they were like out her shirt was so tight!”

“
Well suppose that’s one way to get an A”

“
Ugh gross!”

They both start to laugh until they spot me; they give me a quick once-over and return to their story. After them, there are a few grungy boys messing about, swinging on the ceiling beams, and then there
’s Josh.

My breath halts in my throat as I catch sight of him standing with his back half to me against the wall, talking to Stacey. Anger fires up from deep within me, and part of me wants to go toss her down the hall so I can be with him; so I can stand there across from him casually talking about how we both share the same undying love for one another.

What am I saying?!

As I walk past them, I try desperately to keep my eyes focused straight ahead and my hands firmly by my sides, so I don
’t accidentally reach out towards her neck.

“
Is that her, Josh, the one you were telling me about?”

I turn automatically and mentally kick myself for doing so. Stacey has the dirtiest smirk across her face, which I
’d like to personally remove. I glance at Josh. I can’t watch Stacey anymore without wanting to throw up.

She knows she
’s one of the prettiest girls in the school. She’s the all-American girl next door; the blonde hair, blue eyes toned body and she always makes sure she is wearing the preppiest of outfits. To some she might appear to be the sweetest, most innocent girl of all, but everyone in the school understands that isn’t the case. She didn’t earn the title ‘Racy Stacey’ for baking cupcakes.

Josh keeps his eyes on the floor, not acknowledging what Stacey said, or me standing here silent, staring at him like a dumbass. I take my place at the back of the line as the classroom door opens and we all pile in.

As we sit in a circle, with the teacher at the top, I fight the urge to ogle Josh, but I lose. He seems different, not as smug as he was yesterday when we were in the hall. Now I can take him in properly, I can tell his eyes aren’t filled with only disappointment, they’re also shaded with sadness. My heart aches for him, and I wish I could run across this circle and grab his hand so we can escape together.  He shifts in his seat, so he’s angled away from Stacey as he gazes off into nothing.

The teacher announces that today we will be doing a romantic reading from Romeo and Juliet, so we will have to work in pairs. I watch as Stacey moves her hand to Josh
’s shoulder and brings her lips up to his ear as she asks if he’d

liked to be paired with her. My fists clench at how close she is to him. I listen intently for his answer, but the teacher announces she has already chosen the pairs and begins to read them out.

I stop listening; relieved Josh isn’t voluntarily going to be with Stacey. I glue my eyes to the floor, so Stacey doesn’t see my grin at her ill fortune.

I
’m not bothered who I'm partnered up with, I’ll wait for him to come over and we can practise whatever part of the play she gives us. I hear Stacey whisper to her friends and I quickly go back to staring at her.

Even though, Stacey won
’t be with Josh, she doesn’t give up. She moves her hand down to his knee and leans in closer to him. Her lips part as she prepares to whisper. I can’t watch Stacey shamelessly flirting with Josh anymore, and I don’t even want to think what she might be about to tell him. I got a pretty good idea from what she just told her friends. I focus hard on the floor; I trace the cracks in the aging wooden boards in an attempt to calm the sudden rage firing through me making me desperate to get to her.

“
Guess I'm with you.”

I wasn
’t expecting the person who got stuck with me, to be too happy, but this guy sounds positively miserable.

I look up straight into Josh. This is getting to be a habit. I watch Stacey seething from the other side of the classroom. Her aura has turned a blackened pink
and the bookworm she’s paired with is as unimpressed as her. I let out a small laugh as the teacher goes over and announces that they are to rehearse and perform the classic scene, including Juliet’s famous line “Romeo, Romeo, where for art thou, Romeo?” I notice Josh’s face at my childishness and instantly regret acting.

J
osh slumps down into the chair next to me, sighing, and hands me the script sheet that the teacher has given to him for us to perform.

“
Thanks.” I turn my attention away from Stacey, who is almost shaking with anger, and try focussing on the script. I think our scene is the first scene where Romeo and Juliet meet, “You recognize this bit?” Josh asks, not looking up.

“
Erm, no,” I reply, trying to keep my voice level. I don’t get how to act around him. A part of me has relaxed fully now he’s close to me; like this is how our being together is meant to be, but the other part of me remembers Eros’s face and his warning.

“
Why don’t we just start at the beginning? I presume you’re happy to play Romeo.” I’m not sure my attempt at humour to ease the atmosphere between us has worked. He lets out a low laugh, and I can tell jokes aren’t the answer.

“
Of course. Not sure you could play Juliet, though,” he replies almost under his breath. I refuse to be sucked into another argument.

My line is first, so I gather myself and begin
“I … ”

“
So what was all that about yesterday?”

I scan the script, too focused on the scene we
’re supposed to be performing to realize he’s not reading Romeo’s lines.

“
Where are you starting from?” I ask dumbly.

He turns in his chair to face me, and pushes the script down in my hands.
“I'm not reading from the script. I'm talking about yesterday in the hall. You want to tell me what I'm supposed to be or, for that matter, start at why you were staring at me on the field?”

I fiddle with the end of the sleeve of my dark grey sweater, but his eyes focus in on mine. Even though, we’re in a class of thirty, there’s no one here to take the attention from the questions he’s asked. They’re all absorbed in their scripts. The teacher is at the other side of the room talking to the groups over there. It’ll be at least twenty minutes before she comes over here to us. I can’t just sit here silently for that long, but I can’t come clean either, and something is stopping me lying to him.

“
Sorry.” I open my hands out in front of me, figuring that’s the best way to begin. Josh raises his eyebrows in response and tries to keep eye contact with me as I slouch further down into my chair and place the script on my legs. If only someone had written what I need to say, this would go a lot easier.

I glimpse up at him, my long lashes hiding part of my eyes. His face is calm and composed, his eyes relaxed, and his lips look more inviting than ever.

Something about him makes me want to bare my soul. An act that would get me in more trouble than I can imagine; but he would be worth any punishment.

“
I was staring at you because … ” I let out a sigh. I suppose I'd better go with the lesser of two evils. “ … I thought … you were … well … hot.” I cringe at the word but can’t think of a better one. My cheeks burn with embarrassment; I’d rather tell him that I’m a new breed of Goddess who has a twelve month expiration date, sent to the mortal world to make people fall in love. A confession would have been less mortifying than this. Josh’s expression doesn’t change, and he doesn’t say anything back, so I carry on.

“
I guess I got caught up and didn’t realize I was staring until you saw me and your friends noticed.” I close my eyes as my entire face burns with humiliation. I can’t believe it’s this hard to tell someone you like them. If this is what I make people do when I knit their auras together, I'm going to stop. This is practically a form of torture.

Josh is still silent. He
’s probably mortified at what I’ve revealed and is trying to think of a polite way to tell me that he’s not interested.

“
What about in the hall?” He doesn’t focus on me when he asks, and I don’t answer him. I don’t want to embarrass myself any further.

“
The whole I-know-you-know-what-you-are-or-I-am.”

I try to avoid looking at him, scared of what he may get me to admit next. I bite my lip, stalling while I try to think of an excuse, but how am I going to explain that one?

“I … I thought you were only another jock who was playing a prank on me by coming to talk to me. I thought your team mates had put you up to speaking to me, and I got annoyed, so I sort of got caught up again and didn’t really think about what I was saying, so for that I'm sorry too.”

My explanation is pretty lame, but I'm still not sure what he is, so I can
’t give anything away and risk my future without knowing that the future would involve him. I do not want to end up with Hades in his palace of death for spilling my secrets to a secret immortal sent here to trick me.

I carry on reading my script, waiting for Josh
’s reaction. My stomach ties itself in knots as his silence drags on.

“
So you thought I was hot?” His voice is light, almost laughing. I bring my head up to face him. That’s how he responds? How am I supposed to answer? The smile on his

face says everything. He
’s happy that I thought he was gorgeous - well not thought, think.

I turn my body to mirror his, and my script slips off my knees to the floor space between us. I instinctively reach down to grab it as Josh does the same. Our hands stop just short of each other, and we look up at the same time, our faces merely inches apart. I can now appreciate the full depth of his eyes. I can tell from this distance how soft his lips would be and how full the bottom one is.

I stare back into his eyes. He’s already at my eye-level, waiting to lose himself in mine. He leans in towards me, never once breaking our gaze. I hold my breath as something inside me stirs. Is he leaning in to kiss me, here in the drama room, in front of everyone, should I lean into him? Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do, meet each other half way? His lips part as they get closer to mine.

“
Do you feel that too?” he breathes; the coolness of his breath slips down my throat and takes hold of the desire inside of me. I nod, completely hypnotized by him.

“
Which scene did I give you two to rehearse?”

The sound of the teacher
’s voice shocks me bolt upright. Josh looks down at the floor, closes his eyes and gives a small shake of his head. He picks my script up and rights himself on his chair.

“
Act 2 scene 3,” he answers the teacher without diverting his attention to her or the script.

“
And what part of that scene involves you two, heads together, whispering near the floor?” The teacher acts annoyed, but her aura is a more playful yellow.

“
Artistic license?” Josh laughs. I cover my mouth with my hand to mask my grin. I think she thinks she’s imposed on some secret lovers' union that she  orchestrated. She doesn’t  seem impressed with Josh’s sarcastic response, though, and stands waiting for further explanation.

“
It doesn’t, Miss,” he sighs and glares up at her but then quickly softens his expression. “Acacia,” he gestures at me, “dropped her script, so as we are doing Romeo and Juliet, I thought I would do the gentlemanly thing and pick it up for her, but she wanted to be the modern woman and collect it ; hence we both ended up on the floor”.

She raises one eyebrow and walks away.

Josh waits until she’s out of earshot “I’ll take it that you do still find me… hot as you put it”. My jaw drops open in surprise, and it takes me a second to reply. When I go to speak the bell rings, and he gets up to leave throwing me a quick wink and a body-melting smile.

The rest of the day passes in a haze. I'm too busy imagining myself with Josh. Am I reading too much into our little drama encounter or did I honestly see something when he was staring back into my eyes? I unquestionably felt something, there is no mistaking that, and he did too.