Authors: Bridget Lang
Mia laid in the dark with her eyes open. She listened to her breath and felt the weight of the situation she'd made for herself.
What a mess.
What was she supposed to do now? Was she really going to lie to Logan forever? Was it fair to Emma? Especially with Logan in the next room? She felt sick and wished this was all a bad dream.
She'd been in bed for at least an hour and was sure that Logan must be asleep by now. She couldn't resist because she couldn't stop thinking about him. She got out of bed, wrapped a robe around her nightshirt, and stole a peek at him on her couch. His breath was shallow and worried, his brow furled against the cushions. She leaned closer to him, wanting to see how much of him was in Emma. She was close enough to feel his breath on her face, then his eyes flew open and Mia screamed.
"Shit!" she said, putting her hand over her mouth. "Don't scare me like that."
"Don't scare you?" he whispered. "You're the one hovering over me while I sleep."
"
Pretend
to sleep," she said. "Weirdo."
"Crazy woman." They glared at each other for a second before the corners of their lips curled up and they started laughing. It felt so good to laugh again that for a second Mia forgot all about the lies and secrets and doubts.
"Sshh," she said. "Emma will wake up."
"Let's go to your room then."
She hesitated. "We can close the door," he said. "It'll be quieter. I'd like to talk a little."
Finally, she nodded. He followed her into her tiny room with her twin bed and old dresser. She was embarrassed when she realized there was nowhere for him to sit except the floor or the bed. He chose the bed. She sat next to him. The energy in the room was buzzing. She felt the air move around them, saw lightning strike, heard thunder inside her head as Logan breathed next to her.
"She's really not mine?" he finally said, breaking the silence.
Mia considered her answer. She'd missed Logan. She'd never gotten over him. But she didn't want him suddenly back in her life just because she'd gotten pregnant. That wasn't fair to any of them. "She's really not." Then, just for good measure, "I slept with lots of guys in high school. You weren't the only one Logan." She hoped she sounded sincere, but he just laughed.
"Yeah, you were a real pro that night we were together."
She looked at him with wide eyes. "What do you mean? Are you saying I was bad in bed?"
"On the contrary," he said, looking at her with deep blue eyes that sunk into her like a stone on a lake. "That night was the best night of my life."
Mia wanted to laugh, but couldn’t find voice enough to do it.
"Tell me you don't still care about me," he said.
She looked away and he reached out with his hand, placing it on her cheek, and forced her to turn back to him. "Don't look away. Just say it. Tell me."
She felt her eyes trying to run from his and knew she couldn't lie. Not now. Not when they were so close, when his hand was pressing against her face. "I've never forgotten you," she said.
Logan smiled. "Knew it," he said. Then he reached out and tickled her. It was so unexpected that Mia cried out and jumped back in her bed. Logan got on top of her, straddling her while his hands ran over her clothes, up and down her body, covering her with tickles. Then the tickling stopped, and Logan was moving his head towards her.
Mia tried to draw away from him but his hold was too powerful. She wanted him too much. His lips brushed hers and her body trembled. She felt his hands shake as he pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. "You know I still love you," he whispered.
She nodded and opened her mouth, uncertain what might come out. "I..." but she couldn't finish the thought. The fact that she'd started the sentence was enough for Logan, for now. He pressed his lips to hers and she tasted honey. His skin was warm and tan and his muscles made her feel safe when he took her in his arms.
Logan was the only person Mia had ever slept with. She thought she'd never have these feelings again, for anyone, but when he pushed the robe from her shoulders her heart quivered and her mind didn't protest. Her nightshirt was large and hung past her thighs, but stopped above her knees. Logan lifted it up and her breasts fell out, creamy except for the strawberry nipple that stood at center attention. Mia couldn't believe this was happening. Her heart ran a race inside her chest, beating against her like a drum. Logan's tongue ran over pink soldiers and carried waves of undiluted passion through her blood, landing at all the most important ports.
Mia's thighs clenched and unclenched. Logan's body was so hard. He pressed his core against her and Mia shuddered under him. Tears welled up as she remembered the last time they were together. She'd been so happy that night.
"Mia," Logan said, alarmed. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" She shook her head, feeling foolish. "I'm fine, I just... I don't think I knew how much I needed you till now."
Logan caressed her neck with his tongue and with his hand reached between Mia's legs. He found her soft mound and rubbed its center with delicate strokes of his large fingers. Her body melted and when she opened her eyes they burned with a dormant passion that she had to fulfill or die trying. She lifted Logan's shirt over his head and was astonished at the mass of muscles under the cotton. She'd thought chests like this only existed in Photoshop.
She reached towards him with her tongue, wanting to taste him. His body quivered as she licked him. He was champagne and strawberries as she ran her tongue across his abdomen, examining the nooks and crannies of his muscles as she went. When his chest wasn't enough for her anymore, she undid his belt and helped him kick his pants to the floor.
Logan felt Mia's body tremble under his and it nearly undid him. He'd dreamt of this moment since the last time they were together. He didn't want to rush things. He sensed she had an enduring strength beneath her soft skin and moist, pink lips—it took a strong woman to care for a child on her own—but someone had hurt her. They'd left scars along with Emma. If he ever found out who it was that had left her alone with a child to raise, he'd break their body in half.
He found the tip of Mia's nose and kissed it tenderly, drawing more giggles from her. Her laughter was like music to him, and he let his ear drums swallow the sound like she was a concert pianist playing just for him. His hands ran up and over her breasts. They were cream colored satin under his fingers, rising towards him like mountains. He didn't remember them like this and wondered if they'd gotten bigger after the baby. It didn't matter. Small, medium, or large, she was more of a woman than the over-plasticized bleach blondes people thought he was so fond of. It was incredible to have someone so warm and real in bed with him. He'd missed Mia more than she would probably believe.
His lips ran over her skin, sailing across her abdomen and over her hips, down to her thighs. He found that special spot between them that made her body thrash. His tongue flicked along the delicacy of her sex. She still tasted like mangoes to him, even after all these years. Mia placed her hands, so soft and warm, on his head, holding him to her. The sweetness of her body was like soft electricity charging his erection, and when her thighs clenched he knew he was fully charged. He took one last draw of her mango scent before moving back to her breasts, and then her neck.
The rest of her smelled like cinnamon. He used to think it was something in her body wash, but now he knew her skin simply cultivated sweetness. He slid his tongue along her body, around her nipples, like sweet pink strawberries. They seemed to be standing there waiting for him to suckle, and he didn't want to disappoint them. Her body was the magic he'd been waiting for the last three years, the magic that he needed to make him feel whole again.
When she lifted his shirt over his head he thought his heart might burst. Finally, it wasn't just him chasing her, it was her chasing him back. A fervor like he'd never known gripped them both. Mia's fingers tore at his belt buckle and undid them with hands so soft he thought they must be made of cotton. Mia's panties, a faded pink silk, were on the floor the second after his pants were off. She pressed herself against him, wrapping her legs around him and pulling him to her. He felt her desire and craved her with the same passion.
"Are you sure about this?" he asked. He told himself the question was for her sake, but really it was for his. She'd broken his heart once, was he ready to give it back? What would she do with it a second time?
But her breath was so sweet and her golden hair shined in the moonlight like a treasure chest. When she said, "Yes, do it," and spread her legs for him, he couldn't have stopped his body if he'd wanted to. Thankfully, his mind decided to play along for now, and let him believe this was all real.
He slipped into her with the ease of a practiced lover, though they'd only been together the one time. It was like their bodies had been created for each other. She moaned and arched her back. Logan tried to control himself. His heart throbbed in his chest and his ass clenched tight as he moved against her. She brought her hips up to meet his, reaching around him and grabbing his backside, guiding him into her. Her skin was so soft outside, and inside her body was the warm bath he'd been waiting for since leaving Oakville three years ago.
The room was dark except for the moon and stars that refused to be kept out, invading their space through a cracked window in the corner of Mia's room. The light began to pulse around them as Logan pressed his manhood to her, Mia receiving him like a good massage. Her hair whipped wildly around her head, as if a strong wind was blowing her, an unseen force in the sensual darkness.
Electric heat sprung from their bodies as they molded themselves together. Logan moved his body faster and felt Mia tighten. The light pulse surrounding them quickened, flashing with a growing urgency, getting brighter and brighter until Mia dug her nails into Logan's back and moaned under him, her back arching like an acrobat's. Her skin was warm and soft and when she smiled it was like she'd offered him a slice of apple pie. Logan saw a billion stars. He felt as if he'd suddenly been shot into space and was seeing what only the privileged few got to see in a life time. Their bodies rose together far into heaven and everything around them went white.
Logan fell beside her on the mattress, smiling. She smiled back. His body was still hot next to hers, his breath like sun against her neck. "That was fun," she said. "Why didn't we do that last night?" Logan laughed and wrapped her in his arms, happy for once to be back home.
Mia woke to the sun hitting her eyelids, which she was trying desperately to keep pasted shut. There were strange sounds coming from the living room. Laughter and voices; she could almost hear them smiling. She lifted her head off her pillow and put on a T-shirt and jeans. She had to work, but not for a few hours.
Somehow, she'd thought she would find Tera sitting in the living room playing with Emma. It never factored into her mind that Logan might still be here. Her jaw hit the floor when she saw him high five Emma, who curled to the floor in a fit of laughter. Blonde ringlets circled her head like a halo.
Did Logan curl her hair?
Emma looked up just then and squealed.
"Mommy!"
Mia threw a look at Logan that said she was not happy about this, but then she wondered why she shouldn't be. Here was Logan, playing with his daughter. For the first time in her short life, Emma had a father. Only, neither of them knew it. Mia's head swam with mixed emotions. She felt light headed and made her way to the couch, sinking more than sitting into the tired old cushions.
"Are you alright?" Logan asked, jumping up and kneeling beside her. Concern was etched on his face and Mia felt guilt overwhelm her as he pulled her hand into his.
She nodded. "Fine, fine. Just... thirsty." It was all she could think to say. Logan immediately went into the kitchen. She heard him shuffling around and then he called, "Don't you have anything to drink. Orange juice or something?"
Mia shook her head then remembered Logan was in the kitchen. "No," she called out. "I need to go shopping." The truth was, Mia was trying to hold out for a few more days until the next round of food stamps kicked in. "Water's fine," she said.
"Just tap water," Mia said. Emma laid her head in Mia's lap and looked up at her with wide blue eyes that seemed to beg for something Mia wasn't sure she could give.
"I like him," Emma whispered.
Logan appeared with water, which he handed to her in a warped plastic cup she was sure was the best he could fine in her cupboard, then scooped up a delighted Emma and said, "Get dressed. I'm taking us out to breakfast."
Mia shook her head but Emma was already running around the room, squealing with excitement. "I have to work," Mia said lamely.
"No. The wedding rehearsal is today. You said you'd go with me. Come eat with us, then I'm gonna go help Rachel for a while and I'll be back later tonight to pick you up."
Mia was shaking her head, trying to protest, but Logan's eyes were so blue. His face so set. And Emma... she was zipping around the room like a butterfly. Mia finally consented.
The three of them walked to a nearby restaurant that wasn't on Harvest Road, but also wasn't far from it. It was both clean and dirty. The booths were cracked and old, the tile floor pasted with dirt stains, but the silverware sparkled and the food smelled good. Breakfast was fun, but it was also weird. Logan kept staring at Emma. Mia saw him doing the calculations in his head and wanted to yell at him to stop. That it was none of his business. Most guys would be happy to hear that the kid wasn't theirs. What was wrong with Logan anyway? His eyes darted back and forth from Emma to Mia and back again.
"So Emma," he said after a plate of French toast was delivered to her. She looked up to him, smiling. "Where's your dad?"
Mia's jaw tightened and her lips went blue. She had to bite her tongue to stop from yelling at Logan. Instead, she kicked him under the table. But it was too late. Emma was answering.
"I don't know," she shrugged. "Mommy doesn't like to talk about him. She says he's famous and lives far away somewhere, but I don't know where. Do you know Mommy?" She turned her small head to Mia and looked at her with accusing eyes. Mia thought that was probably in her head, Emma wasn't really accusing her of anything, but the guilt still lingered.
Mia sat fuming, glaring at Logan. She wanted to leave but didn't want to make a scene. "I think we're done here," she said. Emma looked at her plate of French toast and her eyes welled up.
"I can't finish?" Emma asked with tears sitting in her eyes.
"Just take big bites," Mia said, softening her voice. "I have to go to work."
Logan shot her a look. "I thought we agreed," he said. He looked genuinely hurt and for a moment Mia felt her guilt double. "You said you'd go to the wedding rehearsal with me."
Emma's squeal peeled across the restaurant. "Wedding? Who Mommy?"
Mia turned to Emma. "No one you know. An old friend of Mommy's."
Emma scrunched her face up. "Like Logan?" Mia nodded, wanting this conversation to end. "Can I go?" Emma asked.
Now Mia turned on her. "No!" Emma's face crumbled and Mia instantly regretted the outburst. "Neither of us are going," she said, trying to soothe her now. "We can't. We don't have dresses."
Logan's ears perked up. "Is that all it is?" Mia looked at him to see if he was joking. "What kind of dress do you want?"
"Princess dress!" Emma cried. "Like the one at Mommy's job."
Mia slammed her hand onto the table, startling all three of them and drawing looks from others. "We can't go," she repeated. "I have to work." She stood up and dragged Emma to the door. Logan followed, sullen, and walked them back to Mia's apartment with a pleading look in his eyes. Mia hesitated, then pushed Emma inside and shut the door on Logan.