Authors: Bridget Lang
“Heather, we should talk.” Tanner stood in the doorway to the living room, just as she was on her hands and knees clearing away the last of the popcorn. She hurriedly moved to a more dignified position up on the edge of the sofa.
Tanner sat down on the armchair, keeping a physical distance between the two of them. He ran a hand through his hair in agitation.
“You need to know, I didn’t – well, I wasn’t exactly the one that…invited you here.” Tanner finished his sentence lamely.
“What do you mean?” Heather folded her arms across her chest.
“Well. I didn’t send off the application form, it was Chloe.” Tanner bit out the words and then raised his eyes to meet hers. “I actually had no idea about any of this until you were already here.” He forced a half smile, hoping she’d see the funny side of the situation.
Heather’s heart sank. Quickly replaced by the heat of utter shame and humiliation spreading across her body.
“Oh my goodness, what must you have thought of me?” Her arms clenched tighter, hugging herself as if she could make herself so small she might disappear.
“No – please. It’s not like that, Heather. I’m sorry to have…” Tanner hesitated trying to find the right words, “inconvenienced you.”
“The letter, then – that wasn’t you at all, was it?” She’d been such an idiot.
“Letter? No. That was Chloe, I haven’t actually seen that letter.”
Heather closed her eyes, as if she could block out the reality of her current situation. She’d made a complete fool out of herself in front of a man who was not only a complete stranger who had no idea who she was, but also a complete stranger that she was developing inappropriate feelings for.
“I’ll leave tonight, I’m so sorry about this.” Heather looked down at the carpet, desperately wanting to flee from the room.
“No!” Tanner burst out, then amended more quietly, “no – please don’t go. Chloe would be heartbroken to find you gone. I was thinking that maybe, maybe we could give this a try.” He paused, waiting for Heather to respond. He was met by complete silence, so he continued, “for Chloe’s sake. Maybe it’s not such a bad idea?”
Heather was stung by his words. On the one hand it was a relief that she wouldn’t have to leave without saying goodbye to Chloe, but it was also utterly gut-wrenching to realize that Tanner was clearly so unattracted to her, with no romantic intentions whatsoever. The sentiment she’d been flattered by in the letter, had read over and over again, had pinned her wild dreams on, had been written by a ten-year old girl.
“I need some time to think, I’m not…I’m not sure about this, Tanner.” Heather looked desolate. He’d seen her face crumple at his revelation, and he wanted to find some way to comfort her - but had no idea what to do without scaring her off with the intensity of his real feelings, feelings that even he found bizarre and strange. Better to keep her at a distance, at least for now.
“I understand. Please think about it though. Both Chloe and I would love to have you stay with us.” Tanner cursed himself privately, why did he have to sound so wooden?
Heather stood up; she smiled at him, tightly and briefly. There seemed to be nothing more to say. He was a nice man. He was being polite, and perhaps he was right. Maybe it could work – maybe she could stay, looking after Chloe, living here amongst the fresh air and wild land of Jackson. There would be a freedom in that for her; away from the mayhem of New York, far away from the empty shell of a life she’d lived before, the cloying world of Bertram and AyerCooke.
“Heather, wait.” Tanner moved to block the doorway. “I’m saying this all wrong.” He reached out his hand, placing it on her upper arm. He held her that way, at a distance, while she kept her eyes on his chest. She didn’t dare look up, and risk him seeing the disappointment and defeat in her eyes.
Tanner hadn’t anticipated the reaction he would feel when touching her. His nerves went haywire; energy pulsed through him, hot and urgent. His senses focused sharply in on her, and he became hyper-aware of her soft lips and their cupid bow curve at the top; the light smattering of freckles that danced about her nose and cheekbones; the thick curve of her eyebrows, and the lustrous waves of hair that fell down her back and around her shoulders.
“Heather, look at me.” His voice came out hoarse and broken. It was his tone, not his command, which made Heather look up. She met his brown eyes, noticing for the first time the golden flecks around the iris and their look of burning intensity, so at odds with what he’d been saying a moment ago.
Tanner lowered his head down to meet hers. She drew back by an inch, confused as to what he was doing. The hesitancy on her part should have been enough to stop Tanner, to bring him back to reality, but despite the confusion in Heather’s eyes, he saw his own feelings reciprocated. He broke the space between them, pressing his lips sweetly onto hers.
Heather broke the kiss first, taking a step backward. He let her, dropping his hand from her arm. They stayed like that for a heartbeat, neither of them breathing.
“Tanner, I should -” He didn’t let her finish the sentence. He thrust his fingers deep into her hair, twining its strands around his fingers, pulling her forward by the back of her head. His lips dove down to meet hers, forcefully this time, pushing his mouth hungrily, deeper into the sweet taste of her mouth, molding her lush lips to his.
Heather reached her hands around his waist, drawing them upward and clinging onto his broad back. His kiss made her insides melt, and sensations shooting throughout her body that she could feel in the tips of her toes.
Tanner mentally swore. He couldn’t let this happen. Not here, not now. He dragged his lips away from hers, with effort. His whole chest ached as he caught his breath. He took a few steps back, holding out an arm to warn her not to come any closer.
“Heather – I’m sorry, I can’t -” he gasped.
“No – I’m sorry, that shouldn’t have happened.” Heather fought to reclaim her sanity, her head spinning from the intensity of the kiss, and the visceral reaction of Tanner just now. What had just happened? She turned and left without looking back at him. This time Tanner didn’t stop her.
“Well, well, well. If it isn’t my lucky night. Two Holt boys in one room.” Kellie Lane drawled, pushing her cleavage up on the bar and smiling seductively at Tanner. “What can I do you for?”
“Just a beer thanks, Kellie.” Tanner replied, trying to keep his response polite. After the kiss with Heather he’d felt restless and irritable, so had come to Jake’s Place – the seediest bar in Jackson Hole, where his brother would be the musical act tonight.
“Your brother’s out back,” she continued as she flipped the lid off the bottle, “want me to fetch him?”
“Nope. I’ll wait. Thanks.” Tanner knew his brother got nervous before a show, any show – no matter if it was the same tired bar he’d played at for the last five years.
He didn’t have to wait long. His brother’s hulking figure could be seen weaving his way through the small tables that populated the barroom. He was roughly the same size as Tanner, but his features were lighter; blonde hair, blue eyes and most people commented that he had a slightly more cheerful and child-like countenance compared to Tanner, who was the elder of the two.
“Nice surprise to see you here brother, what’s the occasion?” Wyatt Holt grinned, and came to sit down on the adjacent bar stool.
“Advice.” Tanner deadpanned.
His brother laughed loudly, “Tanner Holt coming to me for advice? We’re in dire straits, people.”
“You don’t need advice, Tanner, you need a good woman.” Kellie interrupted, pushing a double whisky Wyatt’s way. She winked at Tanner and then sashayed away to serve another customer.
“My problem exactly,” Tanner muttered under his breath.
“You got women trouble?” asked Wyatt, “you’ve come to the right place.” He gestured around the bar. There were quite a few women gathered together at various tables, all glancing quite obviously over at the two men.
“Not that kind of trouble.” Tanner took a sip of beer. It was cold and refreshing, and he felt himself start to relax. He’d come to Jake’s Place in the past to pick up women, it was easy – there were plenty of women who’d happily keep him company for a night and then disappear before morning. It was the ones that wanted more who occasionally caused him headaches: Kellie Lane was one such woman.
“Shall we take a seat?” Tanner asked his brother, aware that Kellie could easily eavesdrop on their conversation.
“Sure.” Wyatt looked sidelong at his brother. He’d never seen Tanner like this. Well, he amended, apart from the night that he’d discovered Chloe’s mother-to-be at his door.
Tanner took a long sip of his beer. “I think I’ve found a wife.” Someone on the makeshift stage dropped the cymbals of a drum set; they clattered to the floor making an ungodly racket. Tanner smirked. It perfectly exemplified his feelings.
“Wife? Whoa. That’s big, bro.” Wyatt raised his eyebrows, waiting for more details.
“Yeah. Feels big.” Tanner ran his hands through his hair, and stared at the beer mat. “Chloe actually sent off for her – through one of those mail order bride things.”
“What? She’s ten. How in tarnation’d she do that?” Wyatt exclaimed.
“Internet. I’m putting in a child lock or something on that thing next week. Anyway, a woman came – Heather. I saw her just the once, and, I dunno. Something… happened.” He glanced up at his brother’s worried face, “I know it makes no sense, but it was instantaneous. I had no control.”
His brother looked at him with understanding. Wyatt had never met a woman who could captivate him like that, but he had heard stories.
“Have you thought about telling her?” Wyatt tentatively suggested.
“Are you kidding? Wyatt, I don’t know what to say. Or do. It seems I keep saying and doing the wrong thing. I mean, it’s not like we had the best example of a loving relationship between a husband and wife while we were growing up.”
“But if she’s the one, then it won’t matter.” Wyatt argued.
“Where you hear that?” retorted Tanner.
“I’ve thought about it, that’s all. What makes you so sure this girl’s ‘the one’ as you put it?” Wyatt had been searching for years for the right woman. Tanner was giving him hope. He knew that he and Tanner were the loneliest guys in Jackson Hole – and at least Tanner had Chloe. He had no one. Just a horrible secret, a fledging career, and an expensive drinking habit.
“If you met her you’d realize. She’s amazing – beautiful, curvy, her hair…She’s incredible with Chloe too. That girl’s eyes light up whenever she’s around – I haven’t seen anything like it.” Tanner could have gone on all night, but he stopped on seeing the longing in his brother’s eyes.
“Sounds like you struck gold, brother – don’t let
you
be the problem.” Wyatt drained his whisky and motioned to Kellie at the bar to bring him another.
“Easier said than done. I don’t know how to handle this at all.” Tanner looked imploring at his brother, half hoping that he’d have the answers.
“Well,” Wyatt was aware he wasn’t remotely an expert, but tried to think of something constructive to say, “have you been nice – you know, kind and gentlemanly?”
“I don’t think so, not really. I was just kind of shocked, and I don’t really know what to say to her. We kissed.” He drained the last of his beer, and stared down the empty bottleneck.
“That’s a start. What happened after?”
“I came here.” Tanner replied shortly.
“You just left?” Wyatt asked disbelievingly, “what kind of idiot move is that?”
“I got scared. I never felt anything like that before.” Tanner growled back in reply.
“She doesn’t know that!”
“Lordy, Wyatt, I was looking for advice – not a hard time.” Tanner felt totally lost, he was well and truly out of his depth.
His and Wyatt’s upbringing had been a far cry from ideal, and he supposed this is when that kind of thing showed. When you had to man up and tell a woman how you felt about her, when you had to trust that the two of you collided for a reason, and that you had to grab the chance, while you could.
“I’m sorry. Truth is, I don’t know anything about this stuff. But I’d tell her how you really feel. Otherwise you haven’t got a chance, brother.” Wyatt smiled as Kellie approached with a drinks tray.
“Bought you a whisky and a beer,” Kellie winked at Tanner and he nodded his thanks in return. “I was thinking you and me, we should do something later this week – I got nights off.”
“Err, sure.” Tanner kicked himself as the words came out, and tried to call Kellie back to tell her that he was busy on the ranch this week, but she’d already left.
“Smooth, brother,” quipped Wyatt.
“Shut it. She’ll forget.” Tanner replied, only half believing himself.
“I’d happily take that bullet for you.” Wyatt laughed loudly at his own joke.
“Really - Kellie?” Tanner raised his eyebrows.
“Yeah, really. I haven’t got a hope of meeting a good woman. I got nothing waiting for me but lonely days, empty nights, and emptier bottles. I’m not complaining,” he amended, “it’s just the truth of it. And I could do worse than Kellie.” He drowned his second whisky. “You might want to think about that, before you freeze out that woman of yours.”
Wyatt stood up and left the table, slapping his brother on the back and slinging a leather jacket over his shoulder. Tanner watched him go.