Flying Backwards (24 page)

“I’m… It’s… I’m not ready. Sergei, I’m sorry.” She pushed her dress down and gave him a sheepish look.

“It’s okay. We can stop.” His rough voice was barely above a whisper, but it was like a loud warning in her ears. She looked into his pale blue eyes in the dim light.
Damn, he is patient.

“Get some rest. Tomorrow is our last day together.”

Nora felt the tension ease from her shoulders. Sergei leaned in and kissed her forehead, lingering for a brief moment.
He is so sweet,
she thought.
And I’m torturing him.

After retrieving his shirt, Sergei left her room. Nora covered her eyes with her hands. She had almost done something she would have regretted. She felt slightly dizzy.
I’m practically hyperventilating.
Needing to lie down, she unzipped her dress where she stood and dropped it to the floor. She flung her bra away. Her bangle bracelets dropped, clunking to the floor. She climbed into bed and drifted off into a restless night’s sleep.

The next morning her head throbbed. When she tried to swallow, her mouth was cotton dry. Her eyes screwed shut against the pillow, she wondered what had occurred the night before with Sergei. She cracked one eye open to survey the situation. Her clothes were strewn around. Focusing on the alarm clock, she remembered Sergei had gone back to his own room hours before. She gingerly crawled out of bed, pulling the sheet around her naked body. She went straight to her toiletry bag to find something for her pounding head, and she drank every drop of water that was left in her water bottle from the day before. After all the alcohol she’d consumed, Nora felt dehydrated. She eyed the tap, not sure if she should drink out of it, but she hoped one glassful would not upset her stomach.

She didn’t want to think about last night, but after the pain medicine kicked in and the sweaty stickiness from dancing was washed away under a hot shower, she replayed everything in her head.

It was their last day in St. Petersburg. Nora wondered where Sergei was. It was getting late. She thought she should probably call him.
What am I going to say to him?
she pondered as she dried off and dressed. She was just pinning her hair up when she heard a knock at the door.

She let Sergei in; he bent to kiss her. The smell of hot coffee distracted her from all thought. “Good morning,” he said. “I brought you some coffee and something to eat.”

“Mmm, you are so sweet.” She took the cup with a thank you. After a few sips of strong coffee Nora felt the hangover clearing. Sergei pulled from a paper bag what looked like a glazed croissant, and he handed it over to her with a flash of a smile. She nibbled on it, all the while contemplating what to say about last night. All she could come up with was how delicious her breakfast was.

Sergei ate his in three bites and told Nora that Lydia would be by in twenty minutes to take them to see Pushkin. “We’ll have time to see the palace and stop by to say good-bye to my mother before Lydia drops us off at the airport.”

“Okay. It’ll only take me a few minutes to pack everything up.” She’d learned to live out of her suitcase and had never left anything behind so far, but she glanced around the room to make sure she hadn’t carelessly left something in an “out of normal” place. She spotted her bangle bracelets on the floor where she had discarded them last night.

Sergei broke her train of thought. “I’m going to get my things together.”

Nora nodded and watched him close the distance between them. He bent and brushed a soft kiss across her lips. She allowed him to do so.

“I’ll be right back.” His Russian accent seemed thicker in his native country. Nora nodded, giving him a sweet smile, and then he was gone.

She bent to pick her bracelets up off the floor and prayed she could shake this feeling of regret.

* * *

Nora stood outside her townhouse in Philadelphia with Sergei. She thanked him again for the lovely time in Russia. She told him that she truly wouldn’t want to have visited with anyone but him. She said that both Sergei and his sister were amazing guides, and she could not have asked for a more authentic visit. “It was a trip I won’t soon forget,” she concluded sincerely.

Sergei wrapped his arms around Nora in a big hug, and then he paused before he gave her a light kiss on the mouth.

Nora stepped back a little too quickly, which she at once thought probably wasn’t lost on Sergei. “I have to fly out soon,” she said vaguely, hoping to discourage the question “When am I going to see you again?”

“Yes, I have to leave as well. Tomorrow. I will call you in a couple days after I return.”

Nora nodded and made her way up the steps. She paused with her key in the door to look back at him. As he crossed the street to his townhouse, Sergei carried his duffle bag slung over his broad shoulder. Nora thought Sergei was really sweet. Based on appearance, someone else might not necessarily label him sweet, but that’s what she liked about him. She knew the real Sergei. She was lucky that he cared for her.

Stepping inside, her heart skipped a beat when she saw Bree standing at the window. Nora could tell by her friend’s raised eyebrows that she had been watching them.

“Hello. It looks like you two had a nice trip,” she said slyly.

“Hey, Bree.” Nora stashed her roller-bag by the stairs and headed for the kitchen. “Yeah, Saint Petersburg was amazing.” As she moved around the kitchen and poured a glass of water she gave a monologue about the places she’d visited and how great meeting Sergei’s family was.

“And?” Bree prompted. As Nora’s innocent eyes stared back at her, Bree pulled a face. “Sergei and the kissing I just saw! Is there something I should know?”

“Ugh.” Nora looked heavenward. “There’ve been a few times when we’ve had this…‌tension… This attraction. On the last night things got steamy, and we almost hooked up,” she admitted.

“I knew it! I thought it was weird he asked you to go to Russia with him.” Bree pulled out a chair and sat down, waiting to hear more. With a roll of her eyes Nora sat across from her.

“We had separate hotel rooms. It’s not like we were planning this or anything. We went to a club, and I drank too much. We went back to my room. But I stopped it. It just didn’t feel right.” Nora shrugged, not knowing how else to explain how she felt. She didn’t mention the earlier kisses.

“It’s obvious he is interested in you, but I didn’t know you were interested in him.” Bree said. “So? Why did you stop it? Was he a bad kisser or something?” she joked.

“Noooo!” Nora laughed, relieved to feel the mood lighten a little. “To tell the truth, after my love affair with Antonio… Well, he might have ruined it for other guys. And besides, I think a need a little break. Antonio was intense.”

“I’m jealous!” Bree sighed dramatically.

“
Shut up!”
Nora chuckled.

She stood, placed her glass in the sink, and leaned back against the counter. “Sergei is really sweet, you know. I just hope I don’t mess up our friendship when I tell him I’m not interested.” Nora’s eyes focused on the floor, but she was far away in thought. “Anyway…” Nora looked at Bree and feigned a cheery voice. “How are things with you? How was training?”

“Great.” Bree beamed. “I’m officially an international flight attendant. Training went well. We had to become qualified on all the big international planes.” Nora’d had to do the same when she’d gone to training. Being qualified meant they needed to be able to operate emergency windows and doors and know where the emergency equipment was stored and how to use it on each type of aircraft.

“How did the exams go?” Nora remembered memorizing the European airport codes. At the time she was glad their flights were limited to one other continent, which made codes easier to learn, but now she wished their airline would expand to include Asia or South America.

“I did fine.” Bree collected her thoughts. “I know this is going to sound crazy, but while I was in Pittsburg the trainer was telling me about other hubs, international hubs, that we could work out of.” Nora knew about this, but she didn’t say anything. “There is a hub in London. We could transfer. Do you think you’d ever consider moving? You already have great friends in England.” She added, “We could still be roomies.”

“Wow!” Nora was stunned. She could lose Bree
or
she could move to England. Ben’s face came to mind, and longing stirred within her. Would Ben want her there? Nora didn’t know. Ben had kept their friendship casual. What about her family? But more importantly, she couldn’t imagine losing her friendship with Bree. Now that they were both flying international, they were supposed to take every city by storm…‌together.

“Bree, I’m glad things are going well with Evan, but it’s only been a month or so.”

Bree held up her hand. “No, no, you are right about Evan. I’m not just considering moving there for him. I miss my old friends. I know we’ve only had this job about six months, but I feel like I’m ready to keep moving forward. I think I want to move to England. I always wanted to live there when I was younger, and I feel like now is the right time. Really, the only thing holding me here is you. So, Nora, come with me!” she pleaded. “At least think about it. I can’t even put in the request for thirty days.”

“Well, I’ll think about it, but right now I need a shower and some food.”

“Thanks for not saying no. I’ll call for a pizza?”

“Veggie?” Nora suggested.

“Yeah, then we can skip the salad.” Both girls grinned at each other.

Nora grabbed her bag on the way up the stairs and made a mental checklist. She needed to do laundry, refill some items in her toiletry bag, sew a loose button on her uniform, find the needle and thread kit she’d stashed somewhere in her room, and iron her uniform shirts. Keeping herself prepared for each trip was tedious. Living out of a suitcase left her feeling as if she didn’t belong anywhere, because she was never in one place long enough. At the same time, it allowed her freedom to seek out where she wanted to eventually plant herself.

She pulled out her cell phone to look at the time. She noticed a missed call from Antonio. The thought crossed her mind that it was getting late in Italy. She compared spending time with Sergei to spending time with Antonio. For a few moments, Nora reminisced about Antonio’s touch.
Oh, what is wrong with me!
she chided herself. She needed to forget about Antonio and figure out how to deal with Sergei.

Chapter Eighteen

The warm days of August were over, and so was Nora’s trip quota for that month. Because she worked until the last few days in August, she got the first week in September off. She was in her room in Philadelphia unpacking her bag when she spontaneously picked up her cell phone and dialed Ben’s number.

At the sound of his voice Nora smiled. “Hey, Ben, how’s the weather?”

“Nora! I was thinking of you today. I spent the morning with Duchess.”

She clamped her teeth onto her bottom lip.
He was thinking about me!

“Aw, how is she doing? And her foal–Grand Duke, right?” They talked for twenty minutes before Nora got around to why she was calling.

“I have this week off and was thinking of coming over for my riding lesson if you are still up for it. Only if you have any free time, of course.”

“Yeah, you’re welcome anytime. When can you come? I’ll adjust my schedule.” His accent was evident in the way he pronounced
shed-ju-l
.

“I know its short notice, but I can come the day after tomorrow. Bree’s coming in tonight from a trip, and then she wants to see Evan. We’ll fly together, but she’s going to stay in the city. I’m not sure what day she’s flying back.” Nora hoped he remembered offering that she could stay with him and his family in the country.

“I can pick you up, and you can stay with us. We have plenty of room. What time do you get in?” Nora was relieved he’d remembered and excited she would get some alone time with Ben.

When she hung up she hugged herself. She almost hadn’t called. Nora had done a lot of soul searching over the last couple weeks; she had decided to see Ben again, and this time she was going to make a move. She didn’t want to look back and regret missing an opportunity with Ben. If things went well after this trip, she would seriously consider transferring to England with Bree.

In the meantime, Nora kept things casual with Sergei. She had avoided seeing him for a couple weeks, which was easy since they had opposite work schedules. They spoke briefly on the phone before Nora caught her flight to London. She told him she was visiting friends and she wanted to talk to him when she returned.

Several times Antonio had called from Italy, and when she answered their conversations were always the same. He said he missed her terribly and begged her to come visit him. She continued to keep him at bay but was secretly flattered that he still pursued her.

Nora’s mother and Victoria relentlessly called to see what she was up to and when she was coming home for a visit. “We never see you, Nora!” her mother accused her, tears choking her words.

Nora was going through a life change and needed space, but it was hard to disconnect from the family. She knew her parents were concerned when Nora told them about her trip to St. Petersburg with a Russian neighbor. They were concerned about who the man was. Nora sent photos and assured them that Sergei was a good friend who was just showing her around. They were a close family, and they’d been through a lot with the loss of Victoria’s baby. Nora felt guilty and promised to come home soon, but all Nora could think about was Ben. She missed
him
.

Nora flew into Heathrow, butterflies in her stomach. A million times she rehearsed in her mind how she would make a subtle but pointed move on Ben. But how would he react? Did he have feelings for her? Would she make a fool of herself?
I have to know
.

Evan met Bree and Nora in the baggage claim, holding a dozen red roses. The two lovers kissed and snuggled close, murmuring intimately to each other. Nora hung back, giving them some privacy, until Bree broke their embrace.

“Hi, Evan. Beautiful flowers!” Nora exclaimed.

“Isn’t he so sweet?” Bree and Evan exchanged a glance.