Authors: Andrea Simonne
The embarrassing truth is that Ben
is the only man who has ever asked me to marry him.
I haven’t exactly regretted my
decision with Ben all those years ago, but honestly I don’t want to mess it up
this time. I figure there’s a reason I still have such strong feelings for him.
When I look back, there was some truth in the things Ben said to me when we
broke up. It was true that I didn’t include him in my life as much as I should
have and that I didn’t even try to feel interested in the things he liked. In
some ways I kept him at arm’s length and I understand now how he would have
been hurt by that. As I’m pondering this it dawns on me that I’m already doing
it again. He asked me to go to the gym with him this morning and I said I
couldn’t. I’m already slipping into the same old pattern.
I decide right then and there that
I’m not going to screw it up again. The next time Ben asks me to go to the gym
or hiking or snowboarding or even mountain climbing—okay, maybe not that one, there’s
only so far I can take this—I’m going to say yes. I’m going to do everything I
can to make sure this relationship has all the opportunities it needs to
succeed. The more I think about it, the more I can’t believe how lucky I am. How
often in life do you get a second chance?
When I get home
from the
mall it’s already six o’clock and I’m expecting Ben at seven o’clock, which
means he’ll be here in forty-five minutes. I’m loaded down with shopping bags,
most of them filled with clothing and lingerie. Lauren, Suzy, and I wound up in
Victoria’s Secret where I decided to stock up. I already have plenty of nice
lingerie, but I figure you can never have too much of a good thing, plus it’ll
be fun wearing some of it for Ben tonight. I’ve always felt that new
relationships require new lingerie. You don’t want to wear the same stuff for
the new guy that you did for the old one. There’s something about fresh and
pretty lingerie that makes me feel fresh and pretty too.
I take a shower and then after
much deliberation decide on a red lace push-up bra with matching panty. I
figure we’ll probably stay in, so I wear a simple black slip dress and have bare
feet. For some reason I’m feeling nervous. Like maybe Ben isn’t going to show
up, like maybe last night was some kind of hallucination, an erotic dream,
though it must have been a pretty realistic dream considering my pubic area feels
likes a plucked turkey.
When 6:45 comes and goes I’m so
edgy I decide to sit and watch television. Just as I’m flipping through various
channels, I hear the front door bell ring. The relief flooding through me is so
strong I feel embarrassed for myself.
“Hi,” Ben says.
“Hi, yourself.”
He steps inside and closes the
door. Neither of us says anything more. We stand in the foyer with our eyes
locked. The sexual tension between us is so electric I can hear the air
crackling. He puts his hand out and pulls me to him and before I know it we’re
all over each other. It’s just like it was last night except this time we don’t
make it to the bed or the couch or anything, and instead wind up on the living
room floor. The floor is hard and uncomfortable, but I don’t care. I don’t care
about anything except how good it feels and how much I want him.
“Damn...,” Ben says afterwards,
flopping onto his back, breathless. “This is really intense between us.”
“It is,” I nod, trying to catch my
breath. “I’ve never done it on a hardwood floor. My butt’s bruised and I think
I have a concussion.”
He smiles. “That’s nothing. You
should try doing it on top of a mountain with no air and subzero temperatures.”
“Oh?” I raise an eyebrow at him.
“I was terrified my dick was going
to get frostbitten, turn black, and fall off.”
I laugh, despite feeling annoyed
that he’s talking about his sexual experience with another woman right after
we’ve had sex.
“Uh oh, what time is it?” Ben
looks at his watch. “I made dinner reservations for us. I couldn’t get Canto’s
again, but I made reservations at Bella Luna’s.”
“Yum, I love the food there.” Bella
Luna is a really nice romantic Italian restaurant downtown that has delicious
food and out of this world desserts.
“We’ve got a half an hour to get
there, do you think you could get ready really fast?”
***
Fifteen minutes later I’m sitting in
the front of Ben’s jeep on the freeway driving towards downtown Seattle.
Luckily I didn’t have to do much to get ready, since I was already dressed and
showered when he arrived. I freshen up a bit, putting on chandelier earrings
and a pair of strappy high heeled sandals. The slip dress is kind of on the
short side and it feels like I’m showing a lot of leg, but I decide—what the heck.
I figure it’s always a good idea to work it in the early days of a relationship.
It’s a good idea in the later days too. Most men seem to enjoy it when the
woman they’re with gets appreciative looks from other men. I notice Ben is
giving me some appreciative looks right now.
I watch his eyes wander down my
legs and then back up again. “That’s a real dress, right?”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“That’s not just your underwear,
is it?”
“It’s a slip dress.”
“Oh, so it’s an actual dress? Not
just a slip?”
I grit my teeth. “Yes, hence the
name slip dress.”
He nods. “Okay. I get it. You
don’t have to be so testy.”
“You just asked me if I was
wearing my underwear in public!”
“I know, but it looks like
underwear.”
I glance down at my slinky black
dress. So much for my great idea about ‘working it’. I stare out the window
feeling discouraged, remembering all too well what a wet blanket Ben could be.
I feel his eyes on me intermittently, but I don’t say anything. I think of my
vow from earlier about trying to make this work and I’m not sure what to do. As
I’m pondering all this, I feel Ben’s hand slide down my leg.
“I’m an idiot when it comes to
fashion. Would it help things any if I told you I think you look hot?”
I smile at him from the corner of
my eye. “It might.”
He takes my hand and puts it over
his crotch. “I can barely concentrate on the road while you’re wearing that
little dress.”
“Hmm, is that right?” I run my
hand over the growing tent in his pants and then lean over, speaking softly
into his ear, “I could make it even harder for you to concentrate. Would you
like that?” I don’t wait for a response and instead slip my fingers under his
shirt, his abdomen muscles tensing beneath them. I undo the zipper on his pants
releasing his cock into my hand, enjoying the feel of him so hard and silky at
the same time. Ben lets out a soft groan when I squeeze him and a small bit of
liquid seeps onto my fingers. I bite his earlobe and slip my tongue in his ear,
then run it around the edges. He’s breathing hard, but I can tell he’s
conflicted about whether he wants me to continue. I know how he thinks,
worrying whether this is safe and legal, always the straight arrow.
I decide to take the decision out
of his hands, so I slip my seat belt’s shoulder strap aside and bend down.
“I don’t know if this is such a
good idea while I’m driving,” Ben mumbles, though I notice he’s not exactly
pushing me away. I lean over until my head is in his lap. Moving my hair to the
side, I take his cock into my mouth, just the glans, running my tongue under
the rim and then into the small slit, tasting salty pre-come. I play around
like this for a while swirling my tongue on the top and sides before I put the
length of him into my mouth, tightening my lips and hand so I can suck him
rhythmically.
“Jesus,” Ben says hoarsely, one hand
on the steering wheel, the other gripping the back of my neck. I keep the rhythm
going, running my fingers down to stroke his testicles, feeling them tighten. His
hand moves up to my head, pulling my hair. His whole body feels tense beneath
me as he talks in a low voice, telling me how “...it feels so good, just like
that.” When his cock swells and he seems close to climaxing I pull away and
look up at him. His face is flushed and his mouth open.
“Maybe I should stop now.”
“
What
?”
“It might not be safe while you’re
driving.” I know he doesn’t want me to stop, but it’s fun yanking his chain a
little.
“Don’t stop,” he breathes. “It’s
safe. I’m so close, keep going.” His tries to push my head back down, but I
resist.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
“I don’t know...how sure are you?”
“Jesus Kate! I’m
very
sure—okay?”
“I don’t want you to wreck the
car.”
“I’m not going to wreck the car,
but I’m going wring your neck if you keep teasing me like this!”
I put my mouth down and lick the
head of his cock a little. “You should be saying nice things to me,” I point
out.
“I know,” he groans. “But I’m not
exactly thinking straight.”
I smile and take him back into my
mouth, and then using hard tight strokes I continue. He wasn’t joking about
being close because he starts to come almost right away, growling and grabbing
me, his hand at the back of my head.
“God...that felt incredible,” he breathes,
stroking my back. I keep him in my mouth until he softens and then I pull away
and sit up. Positioning myself in my seat, I put the strap back over my shoulder.
He grins at me. His face is still flushed and his eyes heated. “I’m going to have
to think of a suitable punishment for that little stunt.”
I look at him innocently though my
pulse is racing and I feel aroused. “What do you mean? You just said it felt
good.”
“Uh huh, you know exactly what I’m
talking about.”
I root around in my purse for some
lipstick. The truth is there’s something about Ben’s goody-goody personality
that always makes me want to shine him on a little. I flip up the passenger side
sun visor, happy to find a mirror. “I don’t know what it is about you,” I say. “You’re
a bad influence on me.”
“What?” he laughs incredulously.
“I’d say it’s the other way around! But just wait, I’m going to get you back
when you least expect it.”
I wipe the excess lipstick off my
mouth, flip the visor down, and look at Ben with a big smile. “Bring it on baby,
I’m ready.”
***
Things are really busy downtown
and we wind up having to park a couple blocks up the street from Bella Luna’s.
It’s my favorite kind of summer evening with all the streets lit up and people
out everywhere. I take Ben’s hand as we stroll towards the restaurant, but
after a few seconds he pulls away and I remember that Ben never liked any
public displays of affection. He was Mr. No PDA. That’s okay, I tell myself.
Nobody’s perfect. I still feel happy walking down the street beside him. I know
this is all happening quickly between us again and I should be more cautious, but
it feels so familiar that it’s difficult to resist. As we stroll down the
sidewalk I notice our reflection in the glass windows of various storefronts
and feel a smug satisfaction when I see how good we look together. Ben is so
handsome that I feel glamorous walking beside him. He seems to notice it too
because he keeps looking over at me, smiling.
“You’re really in your element. A
city girl all the way. I’ve missed that about you.”
“Really? I always thought it was a
point of contention between us.”
He shakes his head. “Nah, not really.
I liked it that you knew the best places to go see and be seen. Sometimes I
thought it was too artificial, that’s all. Some of those people you used to
hang out with were unbelievably pretentious.”
I want to respond, but we’re arriving
at the restaurant, so the topic is dropped as Ben holds the door open for me.
Ben’s friends and mine were like oil and water, although he has some nerve
calling
my
friends pretentious when his were nothing but a bunch of
blowhards. I’m at least close to my friends. It seemed like he barely even knew
those people he hung out with.
There’s a small crowd waiting around
for a table, but luckily because of our reservation we’re seated immediately. I
can feel people’s eyes on us as we make our way across the room. It’s crowded
and I’m pleased to see that I’m dressed just right, as most women appear to be
flashing some skin whether it’s cleavage, legs, or bare arms. Hot summer nights
in Seattle are about as common as moon landings, so when we get one everybody strips
their clothes off.
Once seated, our server comes over
and asks us if we’d like anything to drink. I barely glance at her, but then
notice that she’s taking a keen interest in Ben, talking to him excitedly about
their wine list and leaning in close as she points out her favorites on the menu.
She’s about twenty-five and is attractive in a petite blonde sort of way. Her
hair is short and spiky and she’s like a frisky Pomeranian the way she’s cocking
her head to the side, nodding vigorously when he tells her how he seldom drinks
alcohol, but is learning to appreciate wine. She’s showing such doggie
enthusiasm about every word coming from his mouth, that any second I’m
expecting her to jump onto his lap.
“Oh yes, I know exactly what you
mean!” she says, resting her hand on Ben’s shoulder. “They’re finding that red wine
is full of all sorts of antioxidants and has a tonic effect on the heart. I’ve
been putting together a list of medical studies. You should give me your email
address before you leave and I’ll send it to you.”
I roll my eyes in disbelief and
look around the room again. This is one of the drawbacks of dating a very handsome
man. Other women want a piece of him too and they’re not exactly shy about it. I’ve
had women rudely interrupt conversations and even give out phone numbers to the
guy I was with, right in front of me.
When I bring my eyes back to
little Miss Best in Show she’s licking her lips provocatively and staring at
Ben with such rapture you’d think the comment he just made about wine lowering
cholesterol was the sexiest thing she’d ever heard in her life. I decide enough
is enough.
“Excuse me,” I say to her. “I’d
like a glass of ice water. Perhaps you could
fetch
it for me? ”
She looks flustered as if noticing
me for the first time. “Oh...what was that?”
“I’d like a glass. Of water. With
ice.”
“I see.”
“And when you return with it maybe
you could finally tell us what today’s specials are.”
“Oh, sure.” She turns to Ben with
a big smile. “Do you know what you’d like or should I give you another minute?”
“Give me a minute,” he says,
smiling back. “I want to mull this over some more.”
As she leaves and is still in
earshot I say loudly to Ben, “Don’t make fun of that poor girl’s haircut.”
Ben looks up from his menu. “What
the heck are you talking about?”
Of course by now she’s out of earshot.
“Never mind,” I say. I know that wasn’t very nice of me, but it wasn’t nice of
her to flirt with my boyfriend either.
Ben is quick though and his eyes
go to our waitress across the room. “She was just being friendly.”
“Uh huh, except she was only
friendly to you.”
He grins at me. “You’re jealous.”
“No, I’m not.”
Ben’s grin grows even wider. “Wow,
I can’t believe it. I don’t remember ever seeing you jealous before. I must be
getting under your skin already, admit it.”
The truth is I’m not jealous in
the least bit. I’m just tired of dealing with this kind of crap. Ben is gazing
at me with such a happy expression though that I can’t possibly burst his
bubble. Finally I shrug my shoulders and smile.
“Maybe you are getting under my
skin a little.” I’m not sure if it’s smart to admit it, but the words are more
than true. I’m right back where I was all those years ago with Ben.