Finding Home (11 page)

Jordan
looked down at Andy asleep in his arms and wanted nothing more than to stay here with her for the rest of the day. But he had a conference call with some of their investors in another hour, and he needed to be, at minimum, dressed and at the house. At best, he should shower and do his best to clean up his current appearance as a well fucked man.

And that was just what he was. Very well fucked. Andy was everything he wanted in a woman. She was the only one that he felt could live with both him and Jackson and still stand on her own two feet. She wouldn’t give in to them. Hell, she would probably fight them on more than one thing on a daily basis. He was looking forward to it.

He looked over and watched Jackson return. From the look of him and the clean smell of the spa soap that was in all the showers, Jordan figured his brother had taken the time to clean up.

“Trade me places?” Jordan asked and wasn’t surprised to see his brother’s wicked grin.

“Always,” Jackson said.

“Try and let her sleep for a bit if you can,” Jordan said as he cautiously slid out from under Andy. She murmured softly in her sleep but went immediately into Jackson’s arms when he joined her on the lounge.

“Hand me that towel, would you?” Jackson said, and Jordan turned to grab one of the numerous large bath style towels they’d purchased.

Jackson
pulled it up over both of them and closed his eyes.

“Better stay awake,” Jordan warned him with a laugh that had Jackson opening up his eyes and looking at him. “Those chairs aren’t made for sleeping. You might just wind up falling and landing on your ass if you’re not careful.”

Jackson
glanced down at the hard floor then back up at his brother. “Point taken, little brother.” He slipped his feet down onto the floor and sat up with Andy secure in his arms.

“Where you going?” Jordan queried.

“To the office,” Jackson said as he stood with his prize. “And the really long, deep couch that we have in there.”

Jordan
laughed softly as he gathered stuff so that he could head back to the house. He’d give anything to be able to stay here with them. But there would be plenty of other opportunities for him to do just that. He couldn’t stop grinning like a fool. He was the luckiest man alive. Andy had not only given him another chance but had been open to the concept of entering into a relationship with two men. She was definitely a one of a kind woman. He had wanted to get in touch with her so many times over the last year but circumstances had prevented it. Now, he vowed that nothing would stand between them again.

Andy woke slowly. At some point they had moved her into a different room and she was snuggled on a very comfortable couch. She sat up hugging her covering close. It was comfy and soft and when she glanced at it she almost laughed to see that it was a bath towel and not the throw she thought it was.

“I see that you are finally awake,” Jackson’s voice sounded softly in the room and she looked over to see him behind a desk across the room. He rose and walked towards her joining her on the sofa and pulling her into him before dipping his head and giving her a soft gentle kiss.

“Did I sleep very long?” she queried.

“No,” he smiled as he leant back and pulled her so that her head was on his chest. “Just about an hour.”

“Hmmmm….” She was more than content to lay right here but knew that she needed to get back to her parents’ house and see if they were home from the hospital yet. She needed to know how this treatment had gone, needed to see for herself how her dad was.

“I need to get dressed and head out,” she told Jackson, rubbing one hand lazily against him.

“There’s a shower you can use here if you want.” When she glanced up at him he laughed. “Alone, I promise.”

“That sounds nice,” she agreed.

“Do you have a minute first?” he asked, and she wondered if this was why he had stayed with her, and why Jordan was gone.

“Of course,” she said and sat up next to him her legs tucked under her and everything still covered with the towel. She might just have to take this one home with her.

“It’s about Jordan,” Jackson stated. “About the year he was gone.”

Andy shook her head. “I’ve forgiven him for that.”

“Have you?” Jackson asked searching her eyes and probably seeing things she couldn’t hide. “I don’t think so. But I think you might understand once I tell you what I have to say.”

“Why you? Why not Jordan?” she asked.

“Because he won’t tell you. Call it pride or whatever you like, but you should know him well enough to know that he doesn’t believe in excuses, not even from himself.”

“I know that,” she said shaking her head.
 
“But what do we have if he can’t even tell me the truth?” And Jordan would have to talk to her.
 
She would never be able to put it fully behind them until he did.
 
She could and would love him, but that year would always stand between them.
 
The truth was that she did know him. He could be hard on people but he was even harder on himself.
 
She could only believe that when the time was right Jordan would have this conversation with her.

 
She nodded and kept her eyes on Jackson somehow sensing that what he said next was important.
 

“Our father died,” Jackson started and Andy interrupted.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, thinking automatically of how hard it would hit her when she lost her father.

“No big loss,” Jackson assured her with a shrug. “He was an asshole all his life. He took me just so that our mom couldn’t have both of us, but wouldn’t keep Jordan so that I would know what it was to lose someone close to me.”

“I don’t even know what to say to that,” Andy admitted. “I can’t imagine separating children at such a young age, especially twins.”

“That didn’t matter to him. He only wanted me because he was hoping to raise me to be just like him.”
 
Jackson looked away for a moment. “And maybe he succeeded in some areas. But even he couldn’t break the bond between Jordan and me. And he knew it. So he left us one more big surprise.”

“What could he have possibly done? I’ve seen you two together. I don’t see anything between you that would make me think that there was animosity of any kind there.” Andy could see the tension in Jackson’s shoulders and knew that whatever it was Jackson was still blaming himself for it.

“There was a condition placed in Dad’s will. Everything, the entirety of his estate went to me. All of it to me. With the condition that Jordan gave up his life for one year and stayed with me.” He glanced up at her and there was such anguish in his eyes. “No contact with anyone outside of this house. No phone calls, no letters. He was very specific about what Jordan was and wasn’t allowed to do.” He shook his head and closed his eyes. “I’d stuck with the old man through everything because he said it would all be mine when he was gone. I should have known that the rotten bastard wouldn’t make it that easy.”

“So that was why,” she whispered.

“Yeah,” Jackson agreed. “He stayed for me. He did nothing but talk about you the entire year. Hoping you were okay, that you hadn’t forgotten about him. That you might be waiting there for him when it was all over.” Jackson grabbed her hands and squeezed them in his. “I swear to you that had I known just what he was giving up, I would have come for you myself. I swear, Andy.”

Andy shook her head and felt a tear slide down her cheek. It was senseless what these two men had been put through by a father that should have loved them. “No. Jordan did exactly what he should have, and I love him all the more knowing that. I would never have respected him had he walked away from you when you needed him most.”

Jackson
shook his head, but she could tell that he didn’t forgive himself.

“And I wouldn’t feel for you like I do had you negated the gift he was giving to you by coming for me.” He looked up at her and she smiled softly at him, reaching out to cup her fingers on his jaw. “What happened was meant to be. You have to believe in that. And it was never your fault.”

“I wanted the estate to help build all this,” Jackson said, holding his hands wide to encompass what they had managed to get under-way on the ranch. “But I would have found another way.”

“No,” she said again. “It was meant to be this way. And I came here exactly when I was supposed to. And if you keep letting this get to you then you have finally let the bastard who sired you win.” Jackson looked at her with surprise and she just nodded her head up and down at him. “Perhaps he always knew that Jordan would do this for you, but he knew that you would never forgive yourself for him doing it.”
  

“Well, fuck me,” Jackson murmured, and she laughed as she saw it click in his eyes.

“Don’t carry his guilt, Jackson,” she said. “Let him take it all to hell with him.”
Jackson shook his head and she sensed that he was lost in personal thoughts at the moment. She wanted to kiss him, to hug him tight. She might not love him the way she did Jordan, but she was close. Very close.

She eased up from the couch, not even surprised when he didn’t seem to notice. She’d just go take her shower and leave him with his thoughts. She hoped he would do what she said though and quit blaming himself for what his father had done.

Chapter Nine

Andy had slipped quietly from the building when she was done finding Sunfire and headed back towards the gate that would take her back to her parents’ house. She had so many things going through her head, but they all disappeared when she saw that her mother’s car was finally back. She passed Sunfire off to one of the hands, something she never did, and rushed towards the house.

“Mom?” she called as she entered through the kitchen. “Mom? Dad?”

She heard a door shut upstairs and then her mother was gliding down the stairs. Her face was red and Andy could see the tear tracks that stained her face.

“What? What happened?” she asked as fear gripped her body.

“Let’s sit down in the kitchen, Andy,” Claire said. “Chloe is on the way.”

“But Dad?” Andy began, but Claire just shook her head and headed over to the coffee pot to start it brewing.

“Carly is sitting with him right now.” She glanced at Andy and a wan smile touched her lips. “He’s resting right now which is what he needs.”

“How…” Andy started again and her mother shook her head and held a hand up.

“Not yet, Andy,” Claire stated. “I’ll go over everything when your sister gets here. I don’t think I can go through this more than once. Just wait a few moments.”

Andy stood and walked over to her mother and wrapped her arms around Claire. They stood there and just held each other while the coffee brewed and the clock ticked. Andy was terrified of what her mother had to tell her. She sensed that it wasn’t going to be what she wanted to hear.

The door opened behind them, and Andy turned to see that her sister was there. Chloe looked as scared as she felt, and she was glad that they had finally healed the relationship between them. She had a feeling that they were all going to need each other more than ever in the months to come.

Claire opened her eyes and patted Andy on the back, pushing away and pointing Andy to the table while she turned to take mugs down from the cabinet. “Have a seat, girls, while I pour the coffee.”

Andy didn’t think she could drink it, but she understood her mother’s need to make it anyway. She accepted her mug with a smile and took a small sip just as her sister did. Claire sat down and though she held a mug in her hand she didn’t seem to notice. Andy reached out and eased the cup from her mother’s fingers and placed it on the table.

“We’re both here now, Momma,” she whispered, gaining her mom’s attention.

Claire smiled softly and took a deep breath. Andy could see the effort it was taking for her mother to hold it together, and it sent a greater surge of fear through her.

“What is it, Mom?” Chloe asked softly, reaching out to grip one of their mother’s hands while sliding her other over to Andy.

Andy took it gratefully in hers and clasped her mom’s free hand just as tight. Claire seemed to focus on the sight of her two daughters holding hands for a moment and a smile touched her lips.

“It’s good to see that you two have managed to work things out,” she whispered. “Because we’re going to need you both to get through these next few weeks or months.” She looked up at them and took another deep breath that hitched in the middle on a sob that Claire refused to release. “The doctors aren’t sure right now just how much time your dad had left.”

“What are you saying?” Andy asked her eyes wide and her breath catching in her throat. “There are so many options out there. Trial drugs and other things.”

Claire just shook her head. “Your father can’t tolerate the radiation. He has burns on his skin. He is sick, so sick and that isn’t how he wants to spend the last bit of his life.” She nodded her head at her daughters as they shook theirs. “It is his right to decide what he wants to put himself through. And no one will take that choice away from him.”