Finally Heaven (Room 103 Book 4) (16 page)

I swallowed back the guilt when I went straight to her underwear drawer. I glanced towards the doorway even though I knew I was alone, well apart from Jakob but I’m sure he’d keep my secret.

I shifted a few items aside until I found what I was looking for then slid the item into my inside coat pocket, taking another glance towards the door. My heart was beating fast but a large grin covered my face.

My phone rang, making me jump. “Hey,” Nick said when I pushed everything back into place and left the bedroom as I’d found it. “We’re on our way back, Zoe wants pizza, you want anything?”

“Sure. Anything will do.”

After confirming my order, I disconnected but groaned when my dad’s number flashed up on screen. Blowing out a steadying breath, I answered.

“Finally,” he barked causing me to roll my eyes.

“Hey to you too.”

“Don’t give me your attitude, Daniel. You’ve been avoiding my calls, and don’t give me your bullshit.” I walked down the stairs and dropped onto the sofa as he began his customary rant.

“You’ve broke your mother’s heart one too many times, son.”

“I’m sorry…”

“…and I personally will not let you put any more on her. You come out here and talk to her, explain yourself to us.”

“Dad…”

“We always knew you were no good, especially after Ann, but I suppose this explains things now...”

“Dad!” I was sick of trying to get a word in. He wanted me to explain myself, yet refused to allow me air time to do that.

“We’re expecting you tomorrow evening, 8pm sharp.”

I stared at my phone, the long high-pitched tone telling me that he had disconnected. My stomach twisted with dread. “Fuck!”

Bile coated my mouth, its toxicity too potent for my poor gut. I knew I’d have to face them sooner or later, I would have just preferred it to be later. All of the guy’s had lost their parents in one way or another, and I’d always been grateful that mine were still in my life. Yet now I was seriously debating that. I knew they hated me, they’d always made sure to let me know they hated me, but I’d always hung on to the hope that somewhere deep down inside them they did actually feel something other than revulsion.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to get out of visiting, that I would have to face them and pushing that thought to the back of my mind when I heard a car pull up on the front, I plastered the fake smile on my face and made sure to forget my shit for the rest of the night.

I GRINNED WHEN she laughed at the film we’d decided to watch, her face lighting up as her head fell back. My chest was tight, my throat as dry as my mouth as her beauty mesmerised me.

She shifted beside me, bringing her legs up onto the sofa, her feet resting beside me on the space between us. I felt her body jolt slightly when I set my hand over her bare foot, my thumb circling around the protrusion of her ankle bone but she kept her attention on the TV.

I could feel Nick’s gaze on me, his stare soft but intense when I slid my eyes to his. He didn’t look away and maintained the same expression as we watched each other. His gaze darkened, his eyes firing with heat as he started to gently slide his teeth along his bottom lip.

My dick throbbed with his attention on me. I could read everything that was going through his mind, my own a mirror image.

I blinked and removed my eyes from his when Zoe laughed again. Another smile lifted my lips, her happiness giving me a much needed shot of my own.

She turned her face to mine. Her grin dropped when she saw how I was looking at her. Her throat dipped as she stared back, a deep sadness now eclipsing her previous merriment. The atmosphere started to shift when her eyes lowered to my mouth then back up to my eyes, the static between us almost crackling loudly.

My grip tightened on her ankle, the hold as hard as the clasp of my lungs. Her gaze roamed my face, etching me to her memory. I didn’t like that. That hurt. That fucking hurt too much, so without thinking I leaned forward and snatched her chin in my hold, making her eyes widen on me.

“Don’t do that.”

She shook her head in bewilderment at my sudden anger but the way she blinked rapidly told me she knew exactly what I meant. “I will make sure you never forget me, Zoe. No matter where the fuck you are, you will never forget me. You’ll always remember the way I look at you, the way I touch you. You’ll commit to memory how it feels when I kiss you.”

The small gasp that left her when I pulled her mouth to mine was eaten up in my intensity to devour her. She didn’t struggle, she took and gave exactly what I delivered and seized. Her little tongue timidly found mine but she was soon as hungry as me, pulling my tongue into her hot mouth to suck on it. A groan rumbled deep from my chest, exploding into her mouth when her hands found my hair and she clung on, pulling me harder against her.

Her lips were soft but greedy, her teeth clashing with mine when my hand clutched her tit and my fingers squeezed the firm flesh making her nipple stand rigid beneath her t-shirt.

She broke the kiss to take a breath, her wide eyes alarmed when she realised she had once again broken under me.

“Stay there!” I ordered Nick when he stood and pulled his jacket from the back of the chair to leave us. Zoe flicked her eyes to him, guilt and remorse heavy in her expression.

“And you,” I demanded when I ran my hand around the back of her neck and held her in place when she tried to pull back. She shook her head softly, her eyes twitching to Nick.

Nick sat back down, and I brought my attention back to Zoe for a moment. She studied me, a tight little crease in her forehead telling me she was uncomfortable.

Her expression softened when I slid my hand round and cupped her face. The way she pressed her face into me and her eyes warmed gave me the courage what I had been looking for.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.” She shook her head but I nodded firmly. “Tell me.”

She licked her dry lips, her eyes narrowing but she swallowed and looked at me with a hard determination. “I’m thinking…” She chewed on her lip for a moment then pulled her shoulders back. “I’m thinking how much I’m in love with you.”

My heart stalled, the bombshell of her declaration shocking it for a second. When it started to find a beat again, it was far from regular, the fierce pounding in my ears proof that I was going to explode from the inside out. But her eyes saddened again. “But I’m also thinking how it’s too late to act on it. It’s too late for me now, Daniel. My life is different, my heart wants so much more than it did three years ago.”

I frowned, not understanding what she meant. Her hand covered my own that was still against her cheek. “I have Jakob to think of… but more than that, I have you to think of. I can never make you complete, Daniel. What I can give you is nowhere near enough what you need. And that would hurt me more. Your happiness is more important.”

“Zoe…”

“No,” she whispered sharply, “don’t lie to yourself, I won’t allow you to do that. I want you to be happy, more than anything. And as much as it hurts, I know that your happiness lies elsewhere.”

“You’re not listening to me,” I growled when I ran my hand round to the back of her head, cupping her and pulling her closer. “You never leave me, you’re constantly inside me. As many men that I have been with, none of them have managed to burrow inside like you have.” I noticed Nick flinch from the corner of my eye but I’d deal with him later. It was time to make them both understand how I felt, wanted
and
needed, whether it severed the final thread or whether it tied another knot in the fray I wasn’t sure but there was only one way to find out.

“This isn’t just about sex, Zoe. This is about how you make me feel, how I want you to feel. How I want to make you laugh and smile. How I want your beautiful face to be the first thing that I wake to, and the last thing my eyes see at night. I want to take all your sadness and destroy it. I want to make your smiles turn into huge beams, transform your chuckles into laughter and your happiness into pure fucking delight.”

Her mouth opened then closed when her words withered and died with my next ones.

“And I want to take Jakob as my own. I want to make him smile as well as you. I want to watch him grow. I want to take him fishing, to the football match. I want to build his first kart with him. It doesn’t matter that he’s not mine. He’s yours, and he’s part of your life. And I want that too.” My voice dropped to a whisper. “I want your family, Ink. I want to be yours and Jakob’s family.”

“Sit – fucking – down!” I growled at Nick. He flinched but carried on walking towards the door.

“Please,” Zoe suddenly whispered to him. He turned to her, confused by her request. “Please listen to him, because I know what he wants, Nick.” Her eyes found mine again. Her expression was both inquisitive but knowing. “Am I right?”

I tried to read her face but so far she gave me nothing to what I had said. Taking all the courage I could find I nodded, hoping we were on the same wavelength, then turned to Nick.

“I want you in my life too.”

His eyes widened on me, then narrowed. “And how does that work? You’ve just told Zoe you want her. Forgive me if that makes me stupid, Romeo.” He was angry. I understood that but he needed to let me finish.

“I know.” I glanced from one to the other. “And this might be the worst thing I am about to say, this might ruin everything but you both want me to be honest, so I am.”

I turned to Zoe, because as much as I wanted Nick, she was the one who could be destroyed by this and I needed to read her, to see from her expression her thoughts to my next truth.

“I want you both. And yes I know that makes me greedy but I honestly think it could work.” I glanced to Nick. “I’ve seen how you look at Zoe, I know how you feel about her. You know how I feel about her, yet not once have you pulled away because of that. You get that I need her, and still you’re stood there.”

He scoffed, shaking his head. “Not for long.”

My stomach plummeted as I watched him deny my words, my hopes. I looked at Zoe when she rose from the sofa and walked across the room to Nick. She didn’t say anything as she reached out and ran her thumb across his bottom lip. He lowered his gaze to her, regarding her with a gentleness and a soft smile.

However, when she lifted onto her toes slightly and brushed her mouth over his, the gentleness swiftly left him. His arms wrapped around her tightly to pull her hard against him, one hand pressing against her shoulder and one hand twisting the length of her long blonde hair around his knuckles to hold her still. He brutalised her, his lips devouring her as her small whimpers echoed around us. She leant against him, using him to hold her as he controlled every piece of her. His grip in her hair tightened, pulling her head back so his mouth could taste the softness of her neck, his tongue tracing the contours of her throat.

He snapped his eyes to me as he continued to worship her, his lips as teasing as his tongue. She squirmed in his arms, squashing her body to him to take more, her own hands now gripping his shirt in tight fistfuls of material.

He watched me, his query obvious. I smirked at him and tipped my head. “My cock is hard watching you. Is that what you’re wondering?”

He blinked at me, wondering how I could let another man touch the woman I loved. I took a step towards him, both of their faces now turning towards me. “What you don’t seem to understand is that I love Zoe, therefore I want to give her pleasure. I want to blow her mind with ecstasy. I want to see her lips part in extreme bliss, I want to hear her cries of desire, witness her body bow as heaven flows through her. That might be greed on my part because I want to watch that for my own enjoyment as well, but I know that four hands instead of two can double that pleasure; two tongues, two cocks, two men can give her what I want.”

They both stood silently watching me, saying nothing, their expressions giving me nothing. I quirked an eyebrow, encouraging them to be honest. I was finding it harder and harder to breathe, wondering if I had made a mistake. Zoe and me had group played before but only ever with another girl, never a man. I tried to swallow when images shattered my imagination and my jeans grew tight against the force of my hard on. Fuck. If they said no to what I wanted, I was doomed.

Suddenly Zoe’s lips turned up at the corners, a small tender smile reaching her eyes. She took a deep breath, her chest lifting as a small rush of air quietly left her. “Okay.”

I stared at her, unable to process what she had just said. “You’re okay with that?”

“Yeah.” She smiled wider. “So how does it work? Do we each get certain days with you, like I get Mondays and the weekends?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Baby, I don’t think you quite understood.”

Nick sucked air through his teeth but he watched Zoe with a humorous expression, waiting for it to click.

“We don’t share, Ink.” She frowned at me when I continued to explain. “We’re all in… together.”

She frowned harder, then blinked then I smirked when her eyes widened and flicked from me to Nick and back again. “Oh.” She blinked again. “Ohhh.”

I nodded, my heart jolting when I saw the heat descend in her eyes, her bright blue eyes darkening until I knew she was visualising my proposal. Her tongue worked across her teeth as she tried to stop them clinging to her gums when her mouth dried. She squirmed making my smirk turn into a grin.