Finally Heaven (Room 103 Book 4) (15 page)

I WINCED, PRESSING the ice-pack to my cheek. I refused the tears that wanted to crazily descend. My chest hurt, my stomach recoiled and my spirit had finally had enough.

I’d never seen Adam so angry. I understood him, I would have been angry if he was taking Jakob away from me, however, he’d never once laid a hand on me – apart from today. And to make matters worse, I’d had Jakob in my arms when he’d struck me. That’s what had angered me enough to place Jakob in his car seat and walk back into Adam’s house, and floor him in one punch. No way was I the little woman that would take that. I’d seen enough of that shit with Jen when she’d put up with Kyle’s abuse, I would never put up with it, and now Adam knew that he wouldn’t be doing it again.

Unfortunately for him, Jen had nipped round to check on me after the newspaper article and had then informed Boss that I was sporting a nice purple eye. Now Adam was sporting more than a black eye, a broken nose and ribs being a few of Boss’s gifts to him.

Checking that Jakob was fast asleep, I went back downstairs and pulled the vodka from the freezer. Mixing a measure with some ice, I shrugged and added another splash and picked up my phone, settling myself on the sofa.

“Hey, Zo,” Samantha greeted after the first ring, the distance making her sound robotic.

“Hey.” She paused, sensing my sudden second thoughts but I gritted my teeth and said the words. “How would you feel about me coming out sooner, give you a hand setting up?”

“I would feel very happy.” I could read the grin in the tone of her voice. I smiled, stupidly enjoying the feeling that someone needed me. “When were you thinking?”

“A couple of weeks?”

“Sounds good, babe. You gonna stay with me until you find somewhere?”

“If that’s okay? I can sort a hotel or something if it’s a problem. I’m selling the shop. Luckily I’ve been offered a good price, so I’m all ready.”

“There’s no more loose ends you need to tie up?” she asked sounding a little hesitant.

I chuckled, slightly saddened by the revelation. “The shop and Jakob are the extent of my life, Sam. So no, I’m all yours now.”

“Well then. I’ll sort out flights for you then email you the tickets.”

My heart ached, bringing the tears that I’d refused earlier, Daniel’s face and his words hurting me more than they should have. But I had to let him be free to be what he wanted to be and hanging around would hold us both back from moving on. I knew I was doing the right thing but that didn’t mean it was the easiest thing, yet I’d learned the hard way that life was never easy, far from it.

“Okay, babe. I’ll see you soon.” Samantha finished when I said goodbye.

My heart beat frantically, the pump of it loud in my ears. My head said I was doing the right thing, but my heart hated me, battled with me, making it difficult to breathe with its punishment.

Refilling my glass, I hit play on the music system. Deciding that was a bad idea when the latest Room 103 track filled my ears, I selected a Maroon 5 playlist and settled back on the sofa, my head resting on the back as I drained another glass.

The edges were finally blurring. I wouldn’t get drunk enough that I wasn’t capable of looking after Jakob, but I needed to stop the incessant nag in my head that I was making a mistake.

A sudden sob ripped up my throat. Fuck! Why did it hurt so much? I needed this, a complete fresh start. I was excited. Jakob would have such amazing opportunities out there. Maybe I’d meet someone who could love me for me, for who I was. However another part of me knew I’d never love again. My heart belonged to someone I couldn’t have, again.

When Shane died, I’d never felt more alone. But my heart had understood why, Shane hadn’t a choice in leaving me, he’d died, leukaemia ravaging him so much it had been a relief when death won and had taken him from the pain. Yet Daniel didn’t want me, I wasn’t enough for him, and fuck, that hurt the most. I couldn’t make him happy, and that thought finally made the sob turn into a long painful silent wail, the pain of it drawing my knees up to my chest to try and ease the torturous agony tearing through my chest.

The torrent of tears was fierce, the intensity of my cries so forceful that they came with silence, my throat so closed in that my voice box couldn’t release any sounds. My eye throbbed with the pressure, my stomach clenching so hard the pain almost crippled me.

I rocked myself back and forth, trying to ease the compression inside me, force the agony from me. My body was strung so tight I couldn’t help but crack the glass in my hand, a large chunk of glass embedding into my palm, although I didn’t feel the pain from it. I watched the blood cascade from my hand through the wave of tears, my sight restricted and blurred. My ears hummed with the strength of my despair.

I was going crazy. I couldn’t stop the sobs, the sorrow that had been buried inside me for so long finally ripping free and demanding release. But it had matured over time, grown with each and every setback in my life until I had no choice but to let it have its freedom before it killed me.

“Fuck! Fetch a towel from the kitchen!” Daniel’s voice registered before his face did.

I stared up at him as he slid his arms under me and carried me through the house up to the bathroom.

He pressed a hand to my head, urging it onto his chest as his arms tightened round me, his embrace tight but comforting. “Sshhh, baby. Shush.”

I took what he gave me, burying my face into him and let it all go. He clung to me as he allowed me to cling to him, his voice soft and cajoling as he tried to soothe me.

Sitting on the toilet, shifting me round on his lap, he turned on the tap and guided my hand under it. I winced at the sting, flinching in his arms until he pulled me tighter, supporting me as he comforted me.

“It’ll be okay, Zoe. I promise.”

Screwing up my face, I groaned in embarrassment when Nick walked into the bathroom and crouched before me. Daniel moved my hand to his knee whilst Nick gently wrapped a towel round the deep cut, his soft gaze watching me.

He smiled softly, cupping my cheek when he’d finished, however his gaze darkened when he spotted the bruising to my face. He didn’t pale like I knew Daniel would. He went the complete opposite way. A deep furious crimson covered the whole of his face, the fierce flush travelling down his neck, his short beard doing nothing to hide its fury. His deep green eyes narrowed but the rage behind them caused me to stiffen.

“Who did this?”

I felt Daniel look around my body to inspect what Nick was raging about. He directed my face to the side so he could look properly then sucked air through his teeth, causing a faint whistle to vibrate from him. “Give me his address.”

I shook my head at him, my voice still not available but I relayed the message with my eyes, shaking my head harder as I widened my eyes on them both.

“I’m going to kill him!” Daniel hissed out, his fury making his bottom jaw tremble. “Slowly. Very – fucking – slowly.”

“No need,” Nick barked, “I’m going to do it quickly.”

My eyes snapped from one to the other, both of them glaring at my bruised face. My lips twitched as I watched them both losing control. I couldn’t figure out what was so funny about them but suddenly they were hilarious. The small giggle that fell from my mouth caused them both to stare at me, their eyes wide and confused. The giggle morphed into a chuckle which then formed a huge bark of laughter to break free. Tears came again but this time with the force of my laughter, my jaw and belly aching with the shake of each laugh.

Daniel quirked a brow at me but Nick continued to stare as if I had gone mad. Maybe I had, but actually, watching both men lose their shit over someone hurting me made the last thirty minutes of despair fade into the background.

I lifted both hands, placing one gently on each of their faces, my thumbs stroking across their cheekbones, the towel wrapped round my left hand annoying me when I couldn’t feel the touch of Daniel’s skin. Instantly their gazes relaxed, their eyes softening as they both pressed instinctively into me.

“I’m fine,” I finally managed to say. I moved my hand away from Nick’s face for a minute, showing them the graze on my knuckles, then placed it back where it belonged, Nick’s stubble scratching the skin of my palm. “He went down in one, and Boss finished what I started.”

“You hit him?” Daniel looked as angry as his words came out. I frowned then nodded.

“Of course I did, no man gets away with laying a finger on me.”

“Shit, Zoe!”

“What?” I widened my eyes on him, confused by his anger.

He glared at me, taking in a large breath to steady him. “And how did you know he wouldn’t turn round and hurt you even more? He could be a psycho, a psycho that doesn’t appreciate a little woman laying him down in one!”

“A little woman?” I snorted and lifted my long legs in the air. He rolled his eyes and sighed.

“I didn’t mean that and you know it!”

I rolled my own eyes and poked my tongue out at him, Nick smirking at Daniel with my attitude. “Anyway, what are you doing here?” I eyed both of them, my face sliding from one to the other.

“Boss mentioned something about your ex,” Nick informed me, “so we came to check on you.”

I nodded and smiled, slipping off Daniel’s knee. He swung an arm around my waist and pulled me back, forcing me to drop back into his lap. He turned his face into me and inhaled deeply when I fell against him, my cheek coming to rest in the crook of his neck. “I always loved the smell of your hair,” he whispered into my ear, drawing in another dose of my scent.

I smiled to myself, treacherously delighting in the closeness of him. I couldn’t help the deep sigh that left me as a faint shiver raced through me.

“You need to get your hand stitched,” Nick told me with a small grimace, obviously hating to intrude mine and Daniel’s moment.

I smiled up at him, appreciating his consideration. “I’m fine, it’ll probably heal on its own.”

“No,” Daniel argued, “it won’t. Nick will go with you in a taxi, we’ve had a drink so can’t drive, but I’ll stay and look after Jakob.”

I couldn’t stop my eyes from widening on him. He quirked an eyebrow at me, obviously challenging my shock. “You have a problem with me looking after him?”

I stuttered at first then shook my head slightly, “Well no, but… it’s just…” He retained his daring glare on me so I shrugged. “Fine, thank you.”

He smiled then nodded and tapped the tip of my nose with his finger. “Go. I’ll find what I need for the small guy.”

“Are you sure?” I couldn’t help but worry a little. This was Daniel. He was all sex and alcohol; children, especially babies were not his thing.

“Baby.” His annoyed tone made me lift up my hands and climb off his lap.

“Fine, I’m gone.”

Just as I was closing the front door, Nick already waiting for me in the taxi, Daniel shouted out. “Baby.”

I turned to look at him, my heart skipping with his soft look on me.

“Don’t do that again.”

I frowned, confused by his strange command. “What?”

“Cry on your own. You need some love, some comfort, then you call me. I will drop everything, wherever I am, you need me, I’m there.”

“It’s not that simple, Daniel.”

“Yes, Ink.” He nodded, his eyes fiercely reinforcing his words. “It is.”

I didn’t say anything else, my stomach hurt with the thought that in two weeks, he wouldn’t be able to follow his own promise through. However, I wouldn’t tell him that. I had every intention of slipping away. As wrong as that sounded, I knew my heart wouldn’t be able to cope with another goodbye.

No one, not even Jen knew that I was going early, and that’s the way I wanted it to stay.

HIS NOSE TWITCHED as he licked his lips, a faint murmur accompanying the small habits he already had. His soft wispy blonde hair was soft under my touch as I stroked across the top of his head to settle him back down. I smiled yet my heart saddened.

Pulling the door quietly closed behind me, I walked across the landing into Zoe’s bedroom. Nothing much had changed over the past year. The soft yellow cotton cover still lay on her bed, the curtains and cushions upholstered in a matching fabric. The mahogany furniture still held the little chips and scuff marks that were present when I had last been in there.